Schedule for the opening day of the Republican National Convention

[MsVicki]

Schedule for the opening day of the Republican National Convention:

6:00 P.M. - Opening prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 P.M. - Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 P.M. - Ceremonial Burning of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution (excluding the Second
Amendment)
6:45 P.M. - Salute to the "Coalition of the Willing"
6:46 P.M. - Seminar 1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 P.M. - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
7:35 P.M. - Trent Lott - "Resegregation in the 21st Century"
7:40 P.M. - EPA Address 1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"
8:00 P.M. - Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 P.M. - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"
8:30 P.M. - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)
8:50 P.M. - Seminar 2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
9:00 P.M. - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 P.M. - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 P.M. - EPA Address 2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"
9:30 P.M. - Break for secret meetings
10:00 P.M. - Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 P.M. - Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"
10:30 P.M. - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel
Squishy Inside"
10:35 P.M. - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights"stare
10:40 P.M. - John Ashcroft demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 P.M. - GOP's tribute to tokenism, featuring Colin Powell and Condi Rice
10:46 P.M. - Ann Coulter's tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"
10:50 P.M. - Seminar 3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:10 P.M. - Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 P.M. - John Ashcroft lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult"
11:30 P.M. - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 P.M. - Blame Clinton.
11:40 P.M. - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:41 P.M. - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 P.M. - Closing prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 Mid - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[Stacey]

Cute, but in all honesty, to me this seems every bit 'political' as the "Letter to Bush" post that was moved to P&R. Is it in the right place?

Nothing personal MsVicki, just concerned with fairness. :)

[MsVicki]

Cute, but in all honesty, to me this seems every bit 'political' as the "Letter to Bush" post that was moved to P&R. Is it in the right place?

Nothing personal MsVicki, just concerned with fairness. :)

This was a joke....as the "Letter to Bush" was a joke. I don't understand why it was moved. I think jokes, even political jokes, should stay in the Jokes Forum. Perhaps whoever moved it didn't read it thoroughly?

[phinney]

Where's the funny part? Looks like Republican bashing to me.

[capsicum]

:lol:
but I'd change"8:50 P.M. - Seminar 2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
to "Government: The Corporate milk cow of the future" (It does too make sense.)

I find this one much less political and gobs more humerous than the letter to bush, as this is not using actual events to make a point. For example there are many people who have lost both their jobs and children in Iraq, but John Ashcroft did not and is not going to demonstrate a New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt.

[bac]

7:40 P.M. - EPA Address 1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"

:eek: How true!

[wfin2004]

It depends on what the meaning of is, is.

[JBBOOKS]

Is there a place for a conservative republican cop on a bike forum?

[wfin2004]

Right next to me!

[ctyler]

It would be funnier if it weren't so true!

[lala]

Go, msvicki! Go, msvicki! Go, msvicki!

[A.troll]

I'm watching the Republican National Convention on C-Span right now.

They don't seem to be following their agenda.