Foo - Anyone over 30 and feel like they are going nowhere in life?

Anyone over 30 and feel like they are going nowhere in life?

Like a ship without a sail, or a ship with a powerful engine, but no rudder?

Tips to get out of this rut? Is it even a rut?

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=LxQgXgS5G3c&feature=related
:thumb:

Are you working? Are you in school? If you're working, take a night class at the local community college. Take something you're interested in, either a hobby like guitar or photography or a class that may help you start a new career.

Whatever you do, do something that's different. Do something that challenges you. Do something.

Start volunteering doing things you like to do.

It's in the perception. We all get stale from time to time, and just need to make a little change in our lives from time to time. DO something you hadn't considered before.....get out and network with new people. As mentioned, volunteerism is one of the good remedies for a rut. You'll find that as you do good, your life becomes good again.....it's a sort of karma.

You mean life is supposed to go somewhere?

I'm WWWAAAYYY over 30:

I'm working toward both my children completing thier educations.
I'm working toward adding a few cattle to the farm towards a bid for growing meat as well as vegies.
I'm working like hell to pay off the tractor and 2 rental houses which will be retirement income.

I'm doing all this so I can get up in the morning to the quiet birdsong and go to sleep each night to the tree frog symphony.

I moved from SoHo, NYC 20 years ago to middle of nowhere WV because getting up in the morning to a battle of traffic & noise, and going to sleep at night to a battle of noise, just didn't make sense anymore - that, and the prospect of raising a kid in the city. Country kids just turn out better!

Travel. Get your hair cut differently. Go back to school. Learn to cook something delicious and share it with good friends. Watch children play. Plant a garden. Climb a mountain. Sit quietly on a riverbank and enjoy the sound of the water as it moves. Lay on your back in the middle of nowhere at 1 am and marvel at the universe around you.

You just literally described my life, pre-heart attack. :p (I'll get back there again, too!)
Travel. Get your hair cut differently. Go back to school. Learn to cook something delicious and share it with good friends. Watch children play. Plant a garden. Climb a mountain. Sit quietly on a riverbank and enjoy the sound of the water as it moves. Lay on your back in the middle of nowhere at 1 am and marvel at the universe around you.

You just literally described my life, pre-heart attack. :p (I'll get back there again, too!)

You and I, sir, are very much alike. I was describing the last 4 years of my own life. And I should add...

Laugh often. Learn to love yourself. Find your own happiness rather than relying on others for happiness.

Hell, I'm 52, I've been going friggin nowhere for 20 years. But I'm here now, and the good news is, I like it.

I'm seventy years old, and still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up!

Huh??? Are you anywhere but where you are right now?

Imagine this, you are at a funeral. You sit in the audience with all the other hundreds of people. People get up and talk about the deceased. You take a closer look at the casket and it's YOU!!! What do you want people to say about you when you're gone? What is it you want to leave for future generations?

Anyone over 30 and feel like they are going nowhere in life?

Like a ship without a sail, or a ship with a powerful engine, but no rudder?

Tips to get out of this rut? Is it even a rut?

Throw out your TV(s) and unplug the internet. You'll figure out what you want to do pretty quickly.

Dear Danno,

I am 63, and I imagined my own funeral lots of times.
There will be three friends and I don`t care what they say.
And I don`t want to leave something (what?) for the future generation.
I`ve got no parents, no sisters, no brothers, no children, what should I care for?
It seems to me, you`ve never had a real depression!
Those advices, "do something new, start painting, learn a new language", and so on
are worth nothing, `cause you haven`t got the power to do it.
You don`t have the power to search and consult psychiatric help.
That`s the reason why alone in Germany with 80 million inhabitants
10.000 commit suicide every year.

Nevertheless kind regards from Vienna (Austria)

Hans

Start volunteering doing things you like to do.

Find your purpose and run with it. You will never have any regrets.


Travel. Get your hair cut differently. Go back to school. Learn to cook something delicious and share it with good friends. Watch children play. Plant a garden. Climb a mountain. Sit quietly on a riverbank and enjoy the sound of the water as it moves. Lay on your back in the middle of nowhere at 1 am and marvel at the universe around you.
Burn out a passport or two and have fun doing so.

Dear travelmama,

"burn out a passport or two"...

Would you be so kind to explain me this line?

Is it a phrase I don`t know or a hidden joke?

I`d be thankful!

Hans:rolleyes:

Hans, I think travelmama meant fill up the passports with stamps = travel a lot.

This could be a good thing. You're a bit young for your mid life crisis, but most of us guys through it for a year, and come out the other side much clearer about our priorities. Meanwhile, go ride your bike and after about 10 miles you'll get a good high. That works a lot better than any antidepressant .

Don't believe everything you think.

Gordon Harris
www.bikenewengland.co (http://www.bikenewengland.com)m

Dear Danno,


Those advices, "do something new, start painting, learn a new language", and so on
are worth nothing, `cause you haven`t got the power to do it.

Hans

This is completely incorrect. You have the power to do anything you want..people just get so sucked up into what society tells them they should have and want, they forget what THEY themselves want. You are not powerless. You are powerful, but if your gonna sit there and sulk all day, the universe will just give you more of what your asking for....

Hans, I think travelmama meant fill up the passports with stamps = travel a lot.

Hi, Rider, if she really ment , I should travel, whereto? I`ve been a sailor in the german merchant navy.
I`ve done 120.000 kms alone with the bike in Europe, I`ve been hitchhiking all over Europe,
I burned four passports and a sailor passport, isnt that enough?

I'm thinking the OP was a troll........

Hans, I think travelmama meant fill up the passports with stamps = travel a lot.
Yes


Hi, Rider, if she really ment , I should travel, whereto? I`ve been a sailor in the german merchant navy.
I`ve done 120.000 kms alone with the bike in Europe, I`ve been hitchhiking all over Europe,
I burned four passports and a sailor passport, isnt that enough?
I have gone through four passports as well and feel it is not enough since there is still more time to go through more. Only you will know if it is enough. Are you alright because your post doesn't give enlightening advice or suggestions for the OP to get out of his funk?

We all know our place, but what do we get out of it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mYY1QGK0jQ

Heck, I'm only 23 and I feel like I'm going nowhere in life.

Anyone over 30 and feel like they are going nowhere in life?

Like a ship without a sail, or a ship with a powerful engine, but no rudder?

Tips to get out of this rut? Is it even a rut?

You need to learn the way.

道可道，非常道
名可名，非常名

You need to learn the way.

道可道，非常道
名可名，非常名

I guess that roughly sums up into "the road less travelled leads to fame"?
there are other says like...

the shortest route is the one that goes around.

the shortest route is not necessarily the best route, nor the one less traveled. The best route is the one your heart demands you follow, whether it be long and tortured or short and sweet.

This resonated with me for a moment.
I'm 51, and (unfortunately?) got what I wished for when I was 18 -- just to make a living, have enough to get by. Bored with school, unmotivated by peers and family, a slacker out of his time, I just cruised for too many years. Now, I build bikes for the biggest box of them all. While I enjoy the working with my hands, there's a sad excess of adverse politics for the 'lowly peons'. That, and I wasn't expecting society to morph into what it has....

But, there is an up side.

I'm also someone who's a bit existential; since I've learned the hard way that long-range plans invariably pile up on the rocks, I prefer to live more day-by-day... kinda like it's given to us. There are some in my circle who condemn me for it, hinting that I'm childish and irresponsible. Well, I made a choice a long time ago to not pursue some empty career ticket-punch, some pile of money and material success, at the expense of the quality of life and the experience of it. And once I cut through the decades of guilt piled on me for it, I realized that:

1. I like me.
2. So many people die within a decade of retirement, because they go on permanent vacation. The purpose of life is to live with purpose. I have that!
3. My choices will just about guarantee that I will live more years than my family tree would lead one to believe, and those years will be quality years.

This resonated with me for a moment.
I'm 51, and (unfortunately?) got what I wished for when I was 18 -- just to make a living, have enough to get by. Bored with school, unmotivated by peers and family, a slacker out of his time, I just cruised for too many years. Now, I build bikes for the biggest box of them all. While I enjoy the working with my hands, there's a sad excess of adverse politics for the 'lowly peons'. That, and I wasn't expecting society to morph into what it has....

But, there is an up side.

I'm also someone who's a bit existential; since I've learned the hard way that long-range plans invariably pile up on the rocks, I prefer to live more day-by-day... kinda like it's given to us. There are some in my circle who condemn me for it, hinting that I'm childish and irresponsible. Well, I made a choice a long time ago to not pursue some empty career ticket-punch, some pile of money and material success, at the expense of the quality of life and the experience of it. And once I cut through the decades of guilt piled on me for it, I realized that:

1. I like me.
2. So many people die within a decade of retirement, because they go on permanent vacation. The purpose of life is to live with purpose. I have that!
3. My choices will just about guarantee that I will live more years than my family tree would lead one to believe, and those years will be quality years.

I think I like you, too, just from reading this.

I've been having the reverse mid-life crisis for the past few years. I always did whatever the h--- I wanted, and now I wonder why I didn't put together more wealth, establish myself, pursue more prestige, etc. Lately, it's flipped back on me again. I'm feeling like I need to just say F--- 'Em a little more often.

Let's see, I am 51 and I am going nowhere in life because I like where I am. Finally have a project too - building a stone home near our river and my favorite swimming hole. No worker is allowed to help (so far). Gives me plenty of exercise clearing a building site with a machete (overgrown brush) and hauling stone. Walking up and down the hill to our current home is about 30 minutes too.

Happily married for nearly 30 years, kids all grown and out of college, plenty of money for retirement.

I am going nowhere because I already have gotten there.

learn to paint :)

I think I like you, too, just from reading this.

I've been having the reverse mid-life crisis for the past few years. I always did whatever the h--- I wanted, and now I wonder why I didn't put together more wealth, establish myself, pursue more prestige, etc. Lately, it's flipped back on me again. I'm feeling like I need to just say F--- 'Em a little more often.

Just be careful how loud, and around who, you say "F*** 'em!" From somebody who still says it pretty freely......

I have regrets about the absence of money pile to land on, when I have to juggle things in the face of what life likes to throw at me -- like now, I'm looking at a new water heater for the house... which pushes the house payment back three weeks. But most of the time, it's a 'whatever' situation.

My prestige comes from people in their 20's & 30's who marvel at my car-free lifestyle.

Hmmm. I just spent the past week cleaning out my mother's house, arranging the estate sale and putting it on the market (I have an offer that should be inked by the end of the day tomorrow). I gained a lot of perspective on my life in doing so, where I grew up (Des Moines, IA) and all sorts of stuff, and where I live now (California). I'll be 49 this fall and this particular trip made me feel very grateful for what I have ... and while the choices I've made in life are by no means perfect - I could have made many better choices - I feel I have a long time left and regardless of how much time I really do have left I'm going to have a blast!

Where's to go?

Join a cult. They'll give you a tamborine and a purpose.

http://krishna.org/images/Kirtana/kirtan_beach_s.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntm1YfehK7U&feature=related

The older I get the more aware I am of how much better I could have managed my finances, etc.:(

On the other hand, the older I get the more I have striven towards this, which I feel is a much better/healthier/happier approach:):

Live simply
Dedicate yourself to serving others
Commit to Personal Spiritual Practice


If that sounds vague and generic, it should. Your service/spiritual practice/level of simplicity may differ from mine. The point is, as others have been posting, follow your own path and enjoy life, while making the world a better place for all. Every bit helps.

The older I get the more aware I am of how much better I could have managed my finances, etc.:(

On the other hand, the older I get the more I have striven towards this, which I feel is a much better/healthier/happier approach:):

Live simply
Dedicate yourself to serving others
Commit to Personal Spiritual Practice


If that sounds vague and generic, it should. Your service/spiritual practice/level of simplicity may differ from mine. The point is, as others have been posting, follow your own path and enjoy life, while making the world a better place for all. Every bit helps.

+1000

Pretty much every happy person I know likes themself. In order to like yourself, you must know yourself first. That is the hard part. Once you figure out your own values, always follow them. Never stray. But don't do something because "you should", or some group tells you to. Only if it keeps to your own personal values.

I do not care what someone will say at my funeral. I will be gone.

I live my life. I do not live it for others. Despite this, many of my actions are selfless. But because I decided that those actions were worthy.

Join a cult. They'll give you a tamborine and a purpose.

http://krishna.org/images/Kirtana/kirtan_beach_s.jpg

All he has to do is become a Hawkeye Fan, and be a proud member of The Bird Cult!

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs431.ash1/23865_1441553085587_1435866490_31227372_5571779_n.jpg

All he has to do is become a Hawkeye Fan, and be a proud member of The Bird Cult!

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs431.ash1/23865_1441553085587_1435866490_31227372_5571779_n.jpg

My CEO is a Hawkeye. He's pretty rabid about it too. His SUV is yellow/black. I suppose somebody has to do it. I am a Mountain West Conference fan. I now live in PAC-10 country but cannot help myself.

Your CEO is a wise man. Good juju with the right car colors.

I'm under 30 and feel like I'm going nowhere in life.

Does that count?

It's alright, baby it's alright. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWtCittJyr0&feature=related)

mid life crises happening earlier and earlier.

mid life crises happening earlier and earlier.

Mine's a quarter life crisis.

next we'll have a thread by teens about incontinence

next we'll have a thread by teens about incontinence

that'd be a pisser!:thumb: