Commuting - Who would win in a fight...?

The Ultimate Battle Royale:

The Marine Sniper Skunk vs. The Evil Attack Squirrel of Death

Place your bets!!!!

Can we include rabbits with really big teeth?

i thnk the "hillbilly incarnation of dumbass" would win

Road kill or alive ? :)
Jar

I'm going for the sniper skunk, unless of course the attack squirrel got 'em from above...hmmm, perhaps I need to read the suirrel post.

How about bad-ass canadian geese that don;t want to give up the bike path!!!!

I'm thinking drunken redneck dog will get the win for sure. Story was never posted...I used to live out in the sticks...well one of the local rednecks tuaght his beast of a dog to chew tobacco and spit....ok...any dog that uses snuff has something wrong with it on many levels....that dog also had a bad habit of t-boning bike riders and trying to eat their tires...I really hated that dog...and wish I could get him to eat 1000 alka seltzers and put the moment up on a webcam show.

Can we include rabbits with really big teeth?
http://img34.exs.cx/img34/7069/rabbit2.jpg
RUN AWAY!

I think you also need to have the winner square off against the Assault Turkeys (http://www.campyonly.com/mypages/1-1-03.html)!

http://www.campyonly.com/images/ride_photos/2003/1-1-03/Image0021.jpg

Also, let's not discount this shady character who was waiting around ready to ambush me...

http://www.neebu.net/~khuon/albums/20040711-everett-laconner/PICT0019.jpg

They'd all get owned by a decent magpie anyway, and I don't think there are too many things that could eat a canetoad and survive the experience.

As it's Australia, I'm broadening the options a little as we don't have nasty little skunks or squirrels here.

A couple of geese frequent a short-cut shared pathway I use daily. They got quite hostile, and hissed as geese do when on the attack. I got to hissing back at them, which really made them stand up and take notice. Now they just honk a lot as I go past.

It's the low-flying ducks that worry me. In the same place (on the shores of a river) riding home one night, I noticed out off to one side a duck take off and head straight to me. I am sure it missed my helmet by just inches, quacking all the way.

The real problems are the possums at night that run into the spokes of the front wheel. Or they just sit in the middle of the road dazzled by the light, and you aren't quite sure which way they might take off.

Swans are not a real threat while riding, but I have had some close calls while kayaking. Being tied to the boat there's no way I could fight off or outpaddle an adult swan if (s)he really wanted a piece of me. When they're with their offspring (BTW, what is a baby swan called in English anyway?) they can be quite aggressive if you accidentally bump into their comfort zone.

--J

I ran over a squirrel the other day in full tuck down a medium hill. When it came out I decided to let it do the swerving and maneuvering. It ran across my path and just when I got to it, it cut back and went right under my rear wheel. They're pretty tough though. It ran off the road after that.

The Evil Attack Squirrel of Death would win, but it would smell real bad.

(BTW, what is a baby swan called in English anyway?)
--J


--cygnet

I'm thinkin' that the squirrel is hindin' something.

They'd all get owned by a decent magpie anyway, and I don't think there are too many things that could eat a canetoad and survive the experience.

They're batsards!

I had one whacking me on the head last week as I was trying to negotiate a roundabout. It's bad enough having to watch for cars that don't give way without worrying about Death From Above. Fortunately I have the sun on my back in the mornings, so I can see them by their shadow as they swoop down for earmeat.

They're batsards!

I had one whacking me on the head last week as I was trying to negotiate a roundabout. It's bad enough having to watch for cars that don't give way without worrying about Death From Above. Fortunately I have the sun on my back in the mornings, so I can see them by their shadow as they swoop down for earmeat.

You can take advantage of those shadows by giving them a bit of a squirt with the water bottle -- that usually works pretty well at getting rid of them. Mind you, I had to squirt one twice near Uki (on the way back from Kyogle) a couple of weeks back. He tried to land on my shoulder! Gotta protect the ears at all costs.

Magpies?

?

:D

Magpies?

Something else I noticed about magpies, often the same ones will crop up in the same place a year later. There's one at North Tumbulgum near Murwillumbah, been there for four years -- although I don't know if he's there this year -- I've been using Urliup Road a lot lately, so I haven't had to go that way.

The Uki terror I mentioned in the above post, that was quite ironic. In 2000 he chased me for about 5km. I was pedalling at around 40km/h against the wind trying to get away (not smart when riding a century). It was then that he tried to land on my shoulder. I eventually had to swat him away with my hand to get rid of him. It's ironic because it was after that attack that I realised I'd be better off just to squirt them -- which is exactly what I did to him the other weekend. Twice.

Pete, you really need to come out here for a spring one time, just to experience the feeling. It's one you won't soon forget.

You can take advantage of those shadows by giving them a bit of a squirt with the water bottle -- that usually works pretty well at getting rid of them.

Hadn't thought of that, but it'd be tricky to pull of in a roundabout. I usually try to headbutt them.



Mind you, I had to squirt one twice near Uki (on the way back from Kyogle) a couple of weeks back. He tried to land on my shoulder! Gotta protect the ears at all costs.

Another reason to wear headphones ;) (mine are over the ear ones - they cut down wind noise too)

Something else I noticed about magpies, often the same ones will crop up in the same place a year later. There's one at North Tumbulgum near Murwillumbah, been there for four years -- although I don't know if he's there this year -- I've been using Urliup Road a lot lately, so I haven't had to go that way.

The Uki terror I mentioned in the above post, that was quite ironic. In 2000 he chased me for about 5km. I was pedalling at around 40km/h against the wind trying to get away (not smart when riding a century). It was then that he tried to land on my shoulder. I eventually had to swat him away with my hand to get rid of him. It's ironic because it was after that attack that I realised I'd be better off just to squirt them -- which is exactly what I did to him the other weekend. Twice.

Pete, you really need to come out here for a spring one time, just to experience the feeling. It's one you won't soon forget.
Chris,

How do you know it wasn't a she? (It's a legitimate question, I think.)

:D

Because the male magpie is the one who does this, ostensibly while the female looks after the eggs.

Because the male magpie is the one who does this, ostensibly while the female looks after the eggs.

The other clue is the colour. Males are black and white, the females are brown. I've never been attacked by a brown one. It's only humans that buy into this 'male and female are exactly the same' myth.

Interesting. Our magpies are somewhat different than those horrible, scrawny little b@stards you have over there on the mainland. Ours are much more elegant and well behaved... a bit like the ubiquitous raven/crow in stature, but black and white plumage. Never seen one attack. Now spur-wing plovers, on the other hand, are ascended from hell like the mainland magpies.

Interesting. Our magpies are somewhat different than those horrible, scrawny little b@stards you have over there on the mainland. Ours are much more elegant and well behaved... a bit like the ubiquitous raven/crow in stature, but black and white plumage. Never seen one attack. Now spur-wing plovers, on the other hand, are ascended from hell like the mainland magpies.

Aha! I knew you were a Tassie!

I grew up there, and well remember many a plover attack. Fortunately they like open fields to nest and tend to stay away from roads. We get plovers here, and I instinctively watch them very closely, but I've never been attacked by one in QLD.

So who would win in a fight, a magpie or a plover?

My money's with the plover - those poison spurs would give it a decided advantage.

So who would win in a fight, a magpie or a plover?

My money's with the plover - those poison spurs would give it a decided advantage.
Agreed, I think, But I've never been physically assaulted by a plover. I think they use the spurs as a last resort. On the other hand, I have a helmet that shows scars at the back from a mainland magpie attack north of Melbourne just over two years ago. It is disconcerting riding along minding your own business and feel a shove on the back of the shoulders.

Because the male magpie is the one who does this, ostensibly while the female looks after the eggs.
So the male protects his territory while the female stays at home with the eggs, takes care of the nest and satisfies his every want.

(It's obvious magpies don't know about Oprah, yet...)

:D

So the male protects his territory while the female stays at home with the eggs, takes care of the nest and satisfies his every want.

Not quite. The female lays the eggs, then the male, wanting some spawn of his own, tries to impress the female by attacking a cyclist. Actually, there was a study done on this a few years ago, and that was one of the conclusions.

The old story, men trying to impress women with their peckers. :D