Foo - Cleaning Lady Catch 22

Does anyone else have this problem? I've been meaning to hire a cleaning lady but my place is so far gone now I'm embarrassed. So I'd have clean my place up before I would schedule one but that ain't gonna happen.

Hire an illegal, they work cheep.

Why ain't it gonna happen?

and why is it that you don't clean it yourself?

Because I'm too lazy.

Because I'm too lazy.


well at least your an honest slob. ;0)

I've done the opposite. I've re-cut my hair after someone cut it.

Have you thought of hiring a blind cleaning lady? That way they won't know how bad your mess really is.

Because I'm too lazy.

Then it's your own damn fault. Deal with it and hire a cleaning lady, or just come to terms with the fact that you're a slob, and that you won't get any tail that wants to see your place.

[ahem] Maid with benefits? :innocent:
"There's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum."
- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Maid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NUrXnQi-pM)"

Then it's your own damn fault. Deal with it and hire a cleaning lady, or just come to terms with the fact that you're a slob, and that you won't get any tail that wants to see your place.

That's a positive if you have a history of hooking up with psychopaths. And it also shows that you obviously aren't seeing anyone else...

Have you gotten around to asking any cleaning ladies what they actually do? I've found that what I think of as 'cleaning' as actually just 'tidying' and they don't do that.

Hunker down and hire someone. They're there to clean, not to judge. It's like when I have a client who says "Oh, I didn't shave my legs." Who cares?

Employ the cleansing power of fire.

Employ the cleansing power of fire.

you genius!

Hunker down and hire someone. They're there to clean, not to judge. It's like when I have a client who says "Oh, I didn't shave my legs." Who cares?

So your a Man*****? ;0)

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y167/stumpyspic/deuce_bigalow_male_gigolo_ver2.jpg

I have a small cleaning business and I think you should tidy up the place then ask someone to do a deep cleaning. Do your laundry, wash the dishes, toss out old magazines, junk mail, put away clothing and clean out the kitty litter boxes. Do not call for an A.S.A.P cleaning at 3p. It will not happen. You know your place is a mess so deal with it accordingly, not just because you are tired of it and want it done NOW. So many keep cluttered and sloppy homes then call for my services as if I can work a miracle for $40. It is not possible because to clean up after a tornado takes a long time. Do not go down illegal strasse because you will have no recourse should anything happen. I am completely responsible for all the work that I do and will back it up. Lastly, do pay well. Go over all the work that has been done and if a good job has been done, offer a nice tip. I don't expect one but it is nice to receive after spending all day in a pigsty that could have been avoided if taken care of sooner rather than later.

I have a small cleaning business and I think you should tidy up the place then ask someone to do a deep cleaning. Do your laundry, wash the dishes, toss out old magazines, junk mail, put away clothing and clean out the kitty litter boxes. Do not call for an A.S.A.P cleaning at 3p. It will not happen. You know your place is a mess so deal with it accordingly, not just because you are tired of it and want it done NOW. So many keep cluttered and sloppy homes then call for my services as if I can work a miracle for $40. It is not possible because to clean up after a tornado takes a long time. Do not go down illegal strasse because you will have no recourse should anything happen. I am completely responsible for all the work that I do and will back it up. Lastly, do pay well. Go over all the work that has been done and if a good job has been done, offer a nice tip. I don't expect one but it is nice to receive after spending all day in a pigsty that could have been avoided if taken care of sooner rather than later.


and if you do want a "miracle" I'm sure it can be done for the right price. Keep in mind all the cleaning products, trash bags, trash disposal, and extra hands that will need to be bought in. I'm sure the price will be high if your place is as messy/dirty as you say it is.

and if you do want a "miracle" I'm sure it can be done for the right price. Keep in mind all the cleaning products, trash bags, trash disposal, and extra hands that will need to be bought in. I'm sure the price will be high if your place is as messy/dirty as you say it is.

I'd be too worried that they'd throw out some important documentation. I agree with travelmama that he should clean up his place first. Since he's a self-proclaimed lazy person, he should hire a cleaning service to maintain his house once he's got it somewhat cleaned up.

So your a Man*****? ;0)

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y167/stumpyspic/deuce_bigalow_male_gigolo_ver2.jpg

No. I'm a massage therapist who has dealt with 6+ years of jokes like that, though.

I have a cleaning service which comes every Friday while I'm at work. If my place is extra messy, I leave more money. I've never received a complaint from them.
If there's extra stuff I'd like done (spot cleaning on carpets, clean the fridge, etc.) then I have to schedule that in advance with the company; but some dishes in the sink and laundry laying around the bathroom isn't a problem.

No. I'm a massage therapist who has dealt with 6+ years of jokes like that, though.

Do the jokes still bother you? BTW, in some places a Male Massage Therapist and a Man***** are the same animal. ;)

As travelmama said, pick up the trash, then contact a reputatble outfit for a thorough cleaning, and THEN set yourself up for a weekly, bi-monthly, or monthly visit - depending on exactly HOW sloppy you are!

My husband freaks out before someone comes to clean (it's supposed to be HIS job), but I don't care - I'm NOT spending my free time scrubbing floors & tubs! Just make sure you clear out anything truely disgusting, and you'll be fine. Once the place is really clean, you might actually find yourself being neater!

Do the jokes still bother you? BTW, in some places a Male Massage Therapist and a Man***** are the same animal. ;)

The jokes are annoying, as any joke you've been hearing straight from people as soon as they find out your occupation would be after over 6 years.

I am licensed, carry insurance, and take continuing education for massage therapy. The school I went to was among the top 10 in the nation and was internationally renowned for its quality. I've worked extremely hard to be at the top of my game in my field and have to overcome men and women not wanting a male therapist due to preconceived notions partially supported by man-wh0re jokes. It's. Fuçking. Old.

Sabre, Don't you work with fire on occasion?

Ah yes...the I-need-to-clean-before-the-cleaning-lady-comes-so-she-doesn't-think-i'm-a-slob dilemma.

Is this sorta like the hair gel scene in There is Something About Mary?

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/index.jsp

Wow, I can't believe the people who actually hire someone to clean their houses for them! Hiring someone to do something unusually technically challenging like rebuilding a transmission I understand, but to pay someone money to clean one's own habitat, I just can't understand...unless there is some debilitating factor involved, etc, etc...

Then again, I LOVE cleaning my house and making my habitat nice. It's rewarding and relaxing, and actually a hobby of sorts. Chasing the tornado (my wife) is something I have given up on, but that isn't the same as cleaning. Heck, when I clean the toilet I don't even use gloves--I use my tongue!

Wow, I can't believe the people who actually hire someone to clean their houses for them! Hiring someone to do something unusually technically challenging like rebuilding a transmission I understand, but to pay someone money to clean one's own habitat, I just can't understand...unless there is some debilitating factor involved, etc, etc...
I value my free time and I have very little of it. The choice comes down to "would I rather spend my time dusting, vacuuming, mopping, cleaning all the little corners of my kitchen, washing windows, etc. or would I like to spend more time with my fiancee, or riding my bike or hiking around in the woods with my dog?"
If I change careers (see my other thread) and have a significant increase to my free time, then I will allocate time to cleaning and ditch the cleaning service.

Having a cleaning lady is awesome. Did I see someone say $40 somewhere in here?

Speaking as someone who's cleaned used RV trade-ins....people who do serious deep-cleaning have most likely seen worse than your house. But be prepared to pay for it.

So your options are a) HTFU and pick up yourself, or b) swallow your pride and GTFWalletO. Your friends and family already know you're a slob, so why do you care about the feelings of some random person you're going to hire?

//reforming slob, although only of the clothes-on-floor and dishes-in-sink variety

Sabre, Don't you work with fire on occasion?

I do fire dancing, yes. :)

Speaking as someone who's cleaned used RV trade-ins....people who do serious deep-cleaning have most likely seen worse than your house.

True. I used to do move-out cleaning at an apartment complex, and encountered some really vile things. Refrigerators and ovens seemed to be the worst, even topping showers and toilets.

I look at it this way: I wouldn't cut my hair before going to the barber, my fiancee doesn't paint her nails before going to the manicurist, so why would I clean my house before I pay someone to clean my house? I don't suggest making the place an extra horrible mess before they get there, but in the case of my cleaning team, the estimates for a deep-clean and a weekly clean were based off having seen the place in its "natural state" of disarray. They knew what they were signing up for, we were given a list of options and prices, and there are agreed upon rules for what does and does not get cleaned. i.e. It's fine to empty the dishwasher, even though the silverware ends up in all the wrong slots in the drawer and I have to search the cupboards for my tupperware. It is not OK to "organize" my desk with all the parts laid out for a build project. Similarly by their rules, it's fine if I leave a towel and some clothes on the floor in the bathroom, but they're not going to clean a nasty week-old soup pot with stanky food in it if I'm a disgusting s.o.b. and leave it on the stovetop for a week.

True. I used to do move-out cleaning at an apartment complex, and encountered some really vile things. Refrigerators and ovens seemed to be the worst, even topping showers and toilets.

I once worked on a demolition crew and we were emptying out a burned apt building to get it ready for rebuilding. It sat for 2 months after the fire. We would breathe in all the air we could, hold it, open the freezer and fridge, and toss everything we could in a trash bag. It was sickening. These were well-to-do renters and these freezers were full of steaks and roasts and fish, all stewing in their own juices for two months. eww.

Wow, I can't believe the people who actually hire someone to clean their houses for them! Hiring someone to do something unusually technically challenging like rebuilding a transmission I understand, but to pay someone money to clean one's own habitat, I just can't understand...unless there is some debilitating factor involved, etc, etc...

Then again, I LOVE cleaning my house and making my habitat nice. It's rewarding and relaxing, and actually a hobby of sorts. Chasing the tornado (my wife) is something I have given up on, but that isn't the same as cleaning. Heck, when I clean the toilet I don't even use gloves--I use my tongue!

I've had a housekeeper for 10 years. I work full time during the week and used to spend my Saturdays cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming. I have 2 indoor cats, so the house needs to be vacuumed and dusted every week.

Now I come home on Friday afternoons to a clean house that smells like lemon pledge. :) The cost of the housekeeper is well worth having my Saturdays free again.

if you're busy or don't have the slightest clue as to how to start cleaning your dwelling, then hire a professional.
honestly, other people don't really care how messy your place is or think any less of you as long as you pay them.

being shy doesn't really help, so you might as well just close your eyes and take the leap.

People face tradeoffs. Economics 101.

Obviously to the OP, the amount of money it costs to maintain the house clean is less then the monetary value of leisure. Completely rational decision.

Yes, clean the house prior to getting a quote, you will save $$$ in the end.