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06-05-10, 02:37 PM
Everybody who has a dog calls him rover or roy. I call mine sex. He's
a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When i went to city hall to renew his dog license, i told the clerk i
would like a license for sex. He said, "i'd like one, too!" then i said, "but
this is a dog." he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then i said,
"you don't understand. I've had sex since i was nine years old." he winked
and said, "you must have been quite a kid."
when i got married and went on my honeymoon, i took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that i wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for sex. He said, "you don't need a special room. As long as you pay
your bill we don't care what you do." i said, "look, you don't seem to
understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." the clerk said, "funny - i have the
same problem."
one day, i entered sex in a contest, but before the competition
began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why i was just standing
there, looking disappointed. I told him i had planned to have sex in the
contest. He told me i should have sold my own tickets. "but you don't
understand," i said, "i had hoped to have sex on tv." he said, "now that
cable is all over the place, it's no big deal any more."
when my wife and i seperated, we went to court to fight for custody
of the dog. I said, "your honour, i had sex before i was married." the judge
said, "this courtroom is not a confessional. Stick to the case, please." then
i told him that after i was married, sex left me. He said that's not unusual.
It happens to a lot of people.
Last night, sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "what are you doing in this alley at
4 o'clock in the morning?" i told him that i was looking for sex. My case
comes up friday.
a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When i went to city hall to renew his dog license, i told the clerk i
would like a license for sex. He said, "i'd like one, too!" then i said, "but
this is a dog." he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then i said,
"you don't understand. I've had sex since i was nine years old." he winked
and said, "you must have been quite a kid."
when i got married and went on my honeymoon, i took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that i wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for sex. He said, "you don't need a special room. As long as you pay
your bill we don't care what you do." i said, "look, you don't seem to
understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." the clerk said, "funny - i have the
same problem."
one day, i entered sex in a contest, but before the competition
began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why i was just standing
there, looking disappointed. I told him i had planned to have sex in the
contest. He told me i should have sold my own tickets. "but you don't
understand," i said, "i had hoped to have sex on tv." he said, "now that
cable is all over the place, it's no big deal any more."
when my wife and i seperated, we went to court to fight for custody
of the dog. I said, "your honour, i had sex before i was married." the judge
said, "this courtroom is not a confessional. Stick to the case, please." then
i told him that after i was married, sex left me. He said that's not unusual.
It happens to a lot of people.
Last night, sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "what are you doing in this alley at
4 o'clock in the morning?" i told him that i was looking for sex. My case
comes up friday.