06-15-10, 03:51 PM
A driver is stopped by the police for speeding. When the officer asks for his license, the man tells him “I don’t have one, it was taken away for drunk driving.” Then the officer asks the man for vehicle registration. “I don’t have any, this car is stolen and it has a trunk load of illegal drugs and firearms.” At this point the officer calls for backup and in no time at all 5 police cars are on the scene.
The sergeant approaches the car and orders the man to open his trunk. He does and it is empty. He then asks the driver if he has any identification at all, and the man hands him a valid license and vehicle registration.
“I don’t get it,” the sergeant says, “My officer here says you stole this car and didn't have a valid license.”
The driver shakes his head and says, “I bet that liar told you I was speeding too.”
06-21-10, 12:23 PM
Good one.. try this one, my favorite..
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
cal flame (http://chooseoutdoorkitchens.com/outdoor-kitchens-brands/cal-spas-cal-flame/outdoor-kitchen-products.html)
steve barbarich (http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Barbarich/1130303657)