storckm
06-24-10, 04:13 PM
Fish.
Jokes & Humor - How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
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06-24-10, 06:52 PM
Love a lightbulb joke.
This reminds me of:
How many acidheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
You mean the lights are out, man? Oh, Wow!
This reminds me of:
How many acidheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
You mean the lights are out, man? Oh, Wow!
trackhub
07-01-10, 05:17 PM
Heh-heh. Light bulb jokes, gotta love 'em.
Q: How many member of the Teamsters' Union does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes fifteen. Youse got a problem wit dat?
Q: How many member of the Teamsters' Union does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes fifteen. Youse got a problem wit dat?
PomPilot
07-01-10, 07:24 PM
Q: How many software analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a hardware issue. :crash::bang:
A: None. That's a hardware issue. :crash::bang:
Amani576
07-18-10, 03:01 AM
My favorite answer to that is "Spoon"
-Gene-
-Gene-
trackhub
07-18-10, 04:14 PM
Q: How many Wellesley College chicks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's "Wellesley College Women" mister, and that's not funny!
A: It's "Wellesley College Women" mister, and that's not funny!
scrapmetal
07-19-10, 11:55 AM
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, and three to complain that it's electric.
Four. One to change it, and three to complain that it's electric.
Cyclaholic
07-21-10, 04:04 AM
how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
Cyclaholic
07-21-10, 04:06 AM
How many Microsoft techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, Microsoft just makes 'dark' the new standard.
none, Microsoft just makes 'dark' the new standard.
Cyclaholic
07-21-10, 04:08 AM
How many country & western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
two. One to change the lightbulb and one to sing about how as a consequence of the lightbulb burning out he lost his ranch, his wife left him, his dog died, his pickup broke down...
two. One to change the lightbulb and one to sing about how as a consequence of the lightbulb burning out he lost his ranch, his wife left him, his dog died, his pickup broke down...
Kotts
07-21-10, 07:09 AM
Musician joke:
How may Bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player does it with her left hand...
How may Bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player does it with her left hand...
pablosnazzy
07-22-10, 08:54 AM
Q: how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: giraffe in the bathtub.
Q: do you know how many viet nam vets it takes to change a light bulb?
A: NO, YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!!!!
A: giraffe in the bathtub.
Q: do you know how many viet nam vets it takes to change a light bulb?
A: NO, YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!!!!!
spooner
07-22-10, 08:58 AM
How many road cyclists does it take to change a light bulb?
Who can afford lightbulbs?
Who can afford lightbulbs?
Amani576
07-22-10, 10:43 AM
No... I think it's...
How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? I don't know how to change that, I'll drop it off at the light bulb shop on the way home and pick it up tomorrow.
How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? I don't know how to change that, I'll drop it off at the light bulb shop on the way home and pick it up tomorrow.
Aquakitty
07-24-10, 01:52 AM
How many Apple Fans does it take to change a light bulb?
They won't change it, they'll say how cool the "night app" is, and just wait for the I-bulb 5G version to come out and pay 5x as much as the last one.
They won't change it, they'll say how cool the "night app" is, and just wait for the I-bulb 5G version to come out and pay 5x as much as the last one.
s-o
07-31-10, 09:08 AM
How many surrealist linguists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Gothi.
( https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Ghoti )
Gothi.
( https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Ghoti )
eubi
08-13-10, 04:35 PM
How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes three episodes.
Just one, but it takes three episodes.
Amani576
08-13-10, 05:13 PM
And seven flashbacks later on after a new type of lightbulb comes out that they must install.
-Gene-
-Gene-
asforme
08-13-10, 05:22 PM
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
A: It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
Rollfast
08-13-10, 10:23 PM
A: I don't care but if he doesn't stop bugging my sister I'm gonna kill him.
trackhub
08-15-10, 06:46 PM
How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
It only takes one, but he'll swear up and down that it was just as quick and easy for him, as it would have been for a Mac user.
It only takes one, but he'll swear up and down that it was just as quick and easy for him, as it would have been for a Mac user.
Amani576
08-15-10, 07:53 PM
On Windows 7, it probably is.
-Gene-
-Gene-
svccmasters
08-20-10, 02:59 AM
Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
A: WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
trackhub
08-26-10, 07:52 PM
Q: How many HMO administrators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that's not covered by your policy
Q: How many thought police does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There never was any light bulb.
Q: How many aides does it take to change Dick Cheney's light bulb?
A: None. He subcontracts it to Halliburton and gets a kickback.
Q: How many MIT grad students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only, ``This page intentionally left blank,'' and 20% of the definitions are of the form ``A <...> consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks.''
A: Sorry, that's not covered by your policy
Q: How many thought police does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There never was any light bulb.
Q: How many aides does it take to change Dick Cheney's light bulb?
A: None. He subcontracts it to Halliburton and gets a kickback.
Q: How many MIT grad students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only, ``This page intentionally left blank,'' and 20% of the definitions are of the form ``A <...> consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks.''
Spreggy
09-19-10, 04:43 AM
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
andychrist
09-19-10, 05:14 AM
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
trackhub
09-19-10, 12:35 PM
Since we've covered Mac users and Windows users....
Q: How many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to recompile the kernel and rpm the bulb, 10,000 to whine about how windows light bulb wizards are ruining computing for everyone, 1,000 to suggest that the new government light bulbs won't run on linux, and 5 MPAA attorneys to sue the guy who figured out how light bulb threads work.
Q: How many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to recompile the kernel and rpm the bulb, 10,000 to whine about how windows light bulb wizards are ruining computing for everyone, 1,000 to suggest that the new government light bulbs won't run on linux, and 5 MPAA attorneys to sue the guy who figured out how light bulb threads work.
Connell
09-23-10, 08:43 PM
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Who cares? How did the flies get in there in the first place?
A: Who cares? How did the flies get in there in the first place?
rollotheclown
09-29-10, 05:11 AM
how many deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?
10,000. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9,999 to follow it around til it burns out.
10,000. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9,999 to follow it around til it burns out.
Rollfast
10-04-10, 09:16 AM
how many deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?
10,000. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9,999 to follow it around til it burns out.
That lightbulb is a bootleg and not a very good one at that : )
10,000. 1 to change the lightbulb and 9,999 to follow it around til it burns out.
That lightbulb is a bootleg and not a very good one at that : )
Rollfast
10-04-10, 09:18 AM
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
That was only three.
The fourth one is on Charlie Rose contemplating life without bulbs.
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
That was only three.
The fourth one is on Charlie Rose contemplating life without bulbs.
ka0use
12-03-11, 06:12 AM
this one is an inside joke in my religion. i'm a latter day saint (mormon) and whenever lds folk get together they serve refreshments.
so, here we go:
how many mormons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5. one to screw it in and four to serve refreshments.
so, here we go:
how many mormons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5. one to screw it in and four to serve refreshments.
waldowales
12-03-11, 07:51 PM
kaOuse, does that include funeral potatoes and green jello?
Rollfast
12-05-11, 06:11 AM
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
So I assume the unnamed fourth Zen Buddhist is filming?
No, wait...Zen says I've seen the joke before.
Four: One to screw in the bulb, one to not screw in the bulb, and one to do neither.
So I assume the unnamed fourth Zen Buddhist is filming?
No, wait...Zen says I've seen the joke before.
Rollfast
12-05-11, 06:12 AM
kaOuse, does that include funeral potatoes and green jello?
:) Very good point.
:) Very good point.
JonnyHK
12-05-11, 07:02 AM
How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Real men can live in the dark.
None. Real men can live in the dark.
genec
12-05-11, 11:42 AM
And of course, concatenating Chuck Norris with Light Bulb jokes...
How does Chuck Norris change a light bulb...
He doesn't, he simply threatens to round house kick the bulb out of existence, and it fixes itself.
How does Chuck Norris change a light bulb...
He doesn't, he simply threatens to round house kick the bulb out of existence, and it fixes itself.
mechBgon
12-05-11, 01:53 PM
No... I think it's...
How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? I don't know how to change that, I'll whip out my cell phone and call my wife/gf. You guys go on without me.
My take ;)
How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? I don't know how to change that, I'll whip out my cell phone and call my wife/gf. You guys go on without me.
My take ;)
ka0use
12-05-11, 02:18 PM
kaOuse, does that include funeral potatoes and green jello?
YES, IT DO! - depending of course, on the event.:roflmao:
been there/done that, have you?
YES, IT DO! - depending of course, on the event.:roflmao:
been there/done that, have you?
Snydermann
12-05-11, 02:43 PM
How many BikeForums members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer n+1
1 to start a thread about it
1 to take the photos
1 to admonish for not calling a local electrician
1 to submit photos of his last lightbulb change
1 to post multiple links as to where to buy lightbulbs
1 to post photos of rare lightbulbs in his collection that he might be interested in trading for something
1 to argue that you should convert to fluorescent
1 to argue that incandescent is better
1 to submit that he finds great lightbulbs in the local dump
1 to provide opinons of which manufacturers make better lightbulbs
1 to admonish you for not wearing proper protection while changing the lightbulb
1 to suggest you replace it with the exact bulb you burned out to keep it original
1 to suggest that there is nothing wrong with it in the first place
1 to suggest something that makes no sense other than to increase his post count so he can send PM's
1 to offer a home for the bad bulb because he repairs them in his free time
1 to post a link to his dedicated website about a specific brand of lightbulbs
1 to post a link to a previous thread about changing lightbulbs
Answer n+1
1 to start a thread about it
1 to take the photos
1 to admonish for not calling a local electrician
1 to submit photos of his last lightbulb change
1 to post multiple links as to where to buy lightbulbs
1 to post photos of rare lightbulbs in his collection that he might be interested in trading for something
1 to argue that you should convert to fluorescent
1 to argue that incandescent is better
1 to submit that he finds great lightbulbs in the local dump
1 to provide opinons of which manufacturers make better lightbulbs
1 to admonish you for not wearing proper protection while changing the lightbulb
1 to suggest you replace it with the exact bulb you burned out to keep it original
1 to suggest that there is nothing wrong with it in the first place
1 to suggest something that makes no sense other than to increase his post count so he can send PM's
1 to offer a home for the bad bulb because he repairs them in his free time
1 to post a link to his dedicated website about a specific brand of lightbulbs
1 to post a link to a previous thread about changing lightbulbs
ahsposo
12-05-11, 02:57 PM
How many BikeForums members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer n+1
1 to start a thread about it
1 to take the photos
1 to admonish for not calling a local electrician
1 to submit photos of his last lightbulb change
1 to post multiple links as to where to buy lightbulbs
1 to post photos of rare lightbulbs in his collection that he might be interested in trading for something
1 to argue that you should convert to fluorescent
1 to argue that incandescent is better
1 to submit that he finds great lightbulbs in the local dump
1 to provide opinons of which manufacturers make better lightbulbs
1 to admonish you for not wearing proper protection while changing the lightbulb
1 to suggest you replace it with the exact bulb you burned out to keep it original
1 to suggest that there is nothing wrong with it in the first place
1 to suggest something that makes no sense other than to increase his post count so he can send PM's
1 to offer a home for the bad bulb because he repairs them in his free time
1 to post a link to a previous thread about changing lightbulbs
1 to suggest the OP HTFU and get used to the dark
1 to point out something a previous poster already mentioned.
1 to find a possibly appropriate (but not necessarily) youtube vid.
Answer n+1
1 to start a thread about it
1 to take the photos
1 to admonish for not calling a local electrician
1 to submit photos of his last lightbulb change
1 to post multiple links as to where to buy lightbulbs
1 to post photos of rare lightbulbs in his collection that he might be interested in trading for something
1 to argue that you should convert to fluorescent
1 to argue that incandescent is better
1 to submit that he finds great lightbulbs in the local dump
1 to provide opinons of which manufacturers make better lightbulbs
1 to admonish you for not wearing proper protection while changing the lightbulb
1 to suggest you replace it with the exact bulb you burned out to keep it original
1 to suggest that there is nothing wrong with it in the first place
1 to suggest something that makes no sense other than to increase his post count so he can send PM's
1 to offer a home for the bad bulb because he repairs them in his free time
1 to post a link to a previous thread about changing lightbulbs
1 to suggest the OP HTFU and get used to the dark
1 to point out something a previous poster already mentioned.
1 to find a possibly appropriate (but not necessarily) youtube vid.
Doohickie
12-05-11, 03:05 PM
1 to extol the benefits of base layers when the bulb burns out.
Snydermann
12-05-11, 03:08 PM
1 to post an expired link to a craigslist or ebay deal on lighbulbs
1 to post a photo of his lightbulb changing tool
1 to post how life was better with oil lamps
1 to post how bulbs are old school and you should upgrade to LEDs and a more modern fixture
1 to comment on how your ceiling needs to be painted
1 to post a photo of his lightbulb changing tool
1 to post how life was better with oil lamps
1 to post how bulbs are old school and you should upgrade to LEDs and a more modern fixture
1 to comment on how your ceiling needs to be painted
bobdell
12-05-11, 03:18 PM
1 to tell you your fixture is bent
ahsposo
12-05-11, 03:23 PM
1 to tell you you didn't photograph it from the correct side and make a snarky comment about your furniture.
JonnyHK
12-05-11, 05:57 PM
1 to tell you to 'flip it'.
JonnyHK
12-05-11, 05:58 PM
How many student radicals does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5 others to help make the empowering documentary video about it.
One. But you need 5 others to help make the empowering documentary video about it.
ahsposo
12-05-11, 06:27 PM
How many student radicals does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5 others to help make the empowering documentary video about it.
Great Gosh! As much as I personally support the the Occupy Movement the Human Mega-Phone is like, surreal. There is that really great Occupy vid though. The last minute is ART!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFtsO5njbCk
One. But you need 5 others to help make the empowering documentary video about it.
Great Gosh! As much as I personally support the the Occupy Movement the Human Mega-Phone is like, surreal. There is that really great Occupy vid though. The last minute is ART!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFtsO5njbCk
waldowales
12-05-11, 08:49 PM
YES, IT DO! - depending of course, on the event.:roflmao:
been there/done that, have you?
Many times! I was raised by Mormons.
been there/done that, have you?
Many times! I was raised by Mormons.
Spreggy
12-06-11, 11:27 AM
How many guitar players does it take?
None, they just steel everyone else's light.
None, they just steel everyone else's light.