Commuting - I thought I had mellowed..

I've been giving a smile and laugh to the twits drivers for awhile, feeling that was better than getting angry at the buzzers and honkers and such. But then yesterday, some big mutha pickup misses my bars by inches, with a lane wide open to his left. Out came the finger and the foul language. I was just getting to him at the stoplight when he made a right turn on red, or we would have had words.

Still pissed off... risking MY life because he either can't be bothered to know what to do, or is just such a %$^* that he doesn't care.

I think I need a Buddhist retreat.

Exact same thing happened to me two nights ago, except it was some kind of Honda, and I responded in the exact same way. And they turned just before I got to the light.

I know I'm supposed to be calmer, but sometimes I'm not. I do get over it quicker though.

I thought I had mellowed too,then I got an attack of "trash mouth" with a similar incident,at least the driver is aware now.

When someone almost takes your life in a senseless manner, I don't think you have to apologize for reacting in an aggressive manner. f - them.

When someone almost takes your life in a senseless manner, I don't think you have to apologize for reacting in an aggressive manner. f - them.

I don't feel angry or aggressive towards those people. I feel sad. Sad that they have such a meager life and they spend so much of it riding in a steel and aluminum box. They see life through windows and live in little boxes. Really sad when you think about it.

I think my wife is more worried I'm going to get in a fight with a "redneck truck driver" (her words) than she is that I will be hit. I've stopped telling her when I get steamed and begin swearing and gesticulating.

I don't feel angry or aggressive towards those people. I feel sad. Sad that they have such a meager life and they spend so much of it riding in a steel and aluminum box. They see life through windows and live in little boxes. Really sad when you think about it.

Funny, I bet they think of us as pathetic beings with no lives :D

When someone almost takes your life in a senseless manner, I don't think you have to apologize for reacting in an aggressive manner. f - them.

Yeah. The craziest thing is how defensive the drivers often get when confronted - dude, you almost ****ing killed me 5 seconds ago, and you're offended that I call you an *******?

I don't feel angry or aggressive towards those people. I feel sad. Sad that they have such a meager life and they spend so much of it riding in a steel and aluminum box. They see life through windows and live in little boxes. Really sad when you think about it.


Funny, I bet they think of us as pathetic beings with no lives :D

I don't FEEL sad for them, I just recognize that they are sad, sorry individuals that must be tolerated. It IS sad that they are so boxed in, yet they think we are poor, desolate things, because we 'obviously don't have a car, because we're not driving one'. No thought that we might PREFER pedaling.


Yeah. The craziest thing is how defensive the drivers often get when confronted - dude, you almost ****ing killed me 5 seconds ago, and you're offended that I call you an *******?

When someone successfully makes THAT one clear, society will undergo a QUANTUM SHIFT toward intelligence!

I know exactly what you're saying. Long ago I decided even the "smile and wave" was uncalled for, and the only reaction to these unthinking a-holes was to give no reaction whatsoever. Just pretend it never happened and keep pedaling. But every once in a while, I still lose it, as I reported here: http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?665183-Chased-the-honker-down (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?665183-Chased-the-honker-down)

The worst part for me is now I know where the "honker" lives. And I walk my dog past their house every morning at 5:30 AM, when it would be really easy to apply that sticker to the bumper of their car, sitting in the driveway. It's the 6 inch square sticker I got from the Florida Bicycle assn which quotes the statute number giving me the legal right to claim the lane, and says, under the graphic of a bicycle "MAY USE FULL LANE - USE OTHER LANE TO PASS".

Now it is time to renew our vows. Close your eyes and repeat after me: "OM...."

^^
That would be a terrible idea. He probably knows who you are also and that would really escalate the situation.

And I walk my dog past their house every morning at 5:30 AM, when it would be really easy to apply that sticker to the bumper of their car, sitting in the driveway. It's the 6 inch square sticker I got from the Florida Bicycle assn which quotes the statute number giving me the legal right to claim the lane, and says, under the graphic of a bicycle "MAY USE FULL LANE - USE OTHER LANE TO PASS".

Maybe get that sticker printed up into a t-shirt and wear it when you ride? Or, alternatively, you could put the sticker on some magnet backing and stick it to their car. No actual harm done, might annoy him a bit, but could also get the message across.

A finger and some language is pretty low-key.

I actually did go to a Buddhist center last night (something I'd been considereing anyway), and was told experiencing the rage was good, in that it brought it out and allowed me to deal with it. Got some good tips - felt so mellow on the way in this morning, fortunately without incident.

Illinois just passed a buzz law. It may be time for the handlebar cam.

I actually did go to a Buddhist center last night (something I'd been considereing anyway), and was told experiencing the rage was good, in that it brought it out and allowed me to deal with it. Got some good tips - felt so mellow on the way in this morning, fortunately without incident.

Hmmm.... not sure about this.

Rage is the mind's reaction to some event. In Buddhism, the mind is the problem. Things are exactly what they are or as Shakespeare said, "There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so."

Your rage was caused because you desired things to be different from what they were. This is your mind at work. Rather, you should simply have accepted things as they were. Not good. Not bad.

The Buddha said, "Never indeed is hatred stilled by hatred; it will only be stilled by non-hatred — this is an eternal law."

I find it hard to understand how experiencing rage is a good thinking according to Buddhist philosophy.

I think we all go through this. Just when I think I've achieved a measure of serenity, I'll flip.

It was expressed more as an opportunity to learn to do as you say, spooner. Something I understand intellectually (somewhat) and am trying to make more a part of how I handle things. And of course, again yesterday I responded poorly to a situation with a driver.

I WILL achieve serenity, damnit!

I
I WILL achieve serenity, damnit!

Or as I practice it:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5513mXmQbw4

I find it hard to understand how experiencing rage is a good thinking according to Buddhist philosophy.

Experiencing it isn't good. Feeling it while it happens and not stuffing it down is good. Letting it pass through and not harm anyone is good. It's a case of 2nd-best. Which is, of course, the nature of all living.

Yes, "serenity now." We should all strive to understand that those individuals, whose actions cause us anger or fear, are probably, themselves, victims of stress. That thoughtless action, which may put us in danger, or just the fear of possible danger, may not be meant maliciously, but may be the result of having a bad day, or personal troubles. We should try to restrain our anger and realize that on any given day we might ourselves behave in such a manner. No purpose is served by getting angry and vindictive toward these folks. But: I want to find that SOB who turned into me 2 years ago, hooking my drop handle bars and dragged me 20 feet up the street, neither stopping or appologizing after I broke free. I want to give him a "WOOD SHAMPOO" with a baseball bat, caving in his empty skull. Then I want to use a flame thrower to burn him and his SUV into slag, with only tiny embers remaining. Then, I want to pee on the grave into which these embers are interred!!!!!!!! I want to dance on this grave while shouting HALILUJAH!!! Not that I hold a grudge....