Jokes & Humor - THE FIRING SQUAD (dont read if your german!)

An American, a Canadian, and a German are about to
be executed. The guard brings the American forward
and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.

The American says he has no last requests so the
executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."

Suddenly the American yells, "Earthquake!"

Everyone is startled and confused, and the American
escapes.

The guard then brings the Canadian forward and the
executioner asks if he has any last requests.

The Canadian says he has no last requests so the
executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."

Suddenly the Canadian yells, "Tornado!"

Again, everyone is startled and confused, and the
Canadian escapes.

By now, the German has it all figured out. The
guard brings him forward and the executioner asks
if he has any last requests.

The German says he has no last requests so the
executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..." and the
German yells, "Fire!"

HAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAH :)

Vas denken sie: die Deutschen Volk sind alles dummkopfen? Scheiss in der Lederhosen! Est ist eine grosse dunklehaft spass! Moglicherweise, meine Deutschesprache ist sehr schrecklich, aber meine Englischesprache is sehr wunderbar: "You are" = "You're", nicht "your". Hmmmmpf! Ich bin nicht amusiert! Welche ist die echt grosse dummkopf hier? Zum voll!

J'ah!!!

Das ist mein emlich klass...

Rich :)

In the UK this would be an Irish joke

Where else in the World are a nation thought of so!

?????Belgium -- if my Dutch friends are to be believed

This German loved it! Danke!

Gee... I'd have made it a Pollock!

In Australia that would have been a Kiwi or came from incestrial island (Tasmania) ;)

Gee... I'd have made it a Pollock!

Jackson Pollock, the artist? I'm confused...

Yeah, this is a standard Scout skit. The setup is that the condemed prisoners develop a plan to distract the firing squad by pointing out potential disasters.

Of course, there are no nationalities involved.

Hahaha! Too bad a german wouldn't get that joke. Fire and shoot are two different words to them! Thanks tho, I thought it was hillarious altho my German wife had a slight problem getting the punch line!

Vas denken sie: die Deutschen Volk sind alles dummkopfen? Scheiss in der Lederhosen! Est ist eine grosse dunklehaft spass! Moglicherweise, meine Deutschesprache ist sehr schrecklich, aber meine Englischesprache is sehr wunderbar: "You are" = "You're", nicht "your". Hmmmmpf! Ich bin nicht amusiert! Welche ist die echt grosse dummkopf hier? Zum voll!

Vielen dank für deise Antwort, und Sie sind richtig! Die Deutschen sind nicht dummkopfen. Aber wir im Vereinigte Staaten...ich weiß nicht...

Bitte, schreiben Sie mehr. Ich möchte die Deutschschprache übung.

Jean-Paul Rivegauche, PhD: Ja, genau! Haha, aber, Sie sind recht. "Scheiß in der Lederhosen" Ich muss das benutzen! *G* :D

Actually, the command for "FIRE!" and the noun "fire" are so close, that Germans may get it. Fire(n)= Feuer, and FIRE!= Feuer frei!

Cloud Strife, you listen to too much Rammstein!

It does help your German, though...

I am of German descent, but I love the joke.

rammstein rocks my socks!!!!!!!!

german descent here as well, but hey I'm up for a good joke anytime :)

a polish guy would work better

a polish guy would work better
Echo... Echo... Echo... Echo... Echo... Echo... Echo...

Cloud Strife, you listen to too much Rammstein!

It does help your German, though...

BANG! BANG! FEUER FREI!

But, yes. It has made my German better

In Australia that would have been a Kiwi or came from incestrial island (Tasmania) ;)
:fight: Funny guy eh?

Am I the only one confused by an American -and- German both as prisoners together?

I'm more confused than a hungry baby at a topless bar...

I got it!

(And I can tell you it´s really hard work not to laugh out loud sitting at university with a prof in front of you.)

In Australia that would have been a Kiwi or came from incestrial island (Tasmania) ;)

Incestral Island? Hmmm. I'm presuming that's spelled correctly?

Cloud Strife, you listen to too much Rammstein!

It does help your German, though...

:D This is true!

If I get bored and my wife is watching TV or reading a book or something that doesn't involve me, I'll walk in and yell, "SPIEL MIT MIR!" :o

Ein Spiel? Oder... ?

lol, my friend lost that CD so now I gotta go and buy another one :(

Vas think it: the German people are all dummkopfen? **** in the leather trousers! Est is large darkful fun! Moglicherweise, my German language is very terrible, but my English language is very marvelously: "You of acres" = "You're", not "your". Hmmmmpf! I am not amusiert! Which is the genuinly large fool here? To full!


That was what he said when I typed it into a google translator.

That google translator needs a lot of work.

Fo' shizzle

"So, you think that Germans are stupid, eh? That's BS! That's an American joke! Even though my German is poor, my English is great: 'You are'=' you're ' not 'your'. Hmmpf! I'm not amused. Who's the real idiot here? Cheers!"

Wow, I only had to use the translator 3 times! Yah for me :D (BTW: that's MY translation, and 4 of the orig words were spelled wrong... "Was", "dünkelhaft", "Möglicherweise", and "Zum wohl!")

Sehr gut, Cloud (Wolken).

Ich bin sehr stolz von dir!

[Very good, Cloud. I'm very proud of you!]

Vellicht, wir sollen diesem Thread für nur Deutschsprachers machen!

[Perhaps, we should make this thread only for German speakers!]

Können sie ,,entfüren" buchstabieren?

ive heard it with blonde red head and burnette