Road Cycling - 53-11 Alltheway-isms

Post you favorite forum entries by him here. It should be very interesting. Kind of like if Jayson Blair(NYT) wrote a science fiction fantasy novel in which he is the main character and can take on superheroes:

"I always try to find a good headwind....if It is not sufficiently strong enough I will help it out by applying a little brake pressure. This keeps me from going uncontrollably fast and breaking speed limits."

"going from 37 mph to 52 mph will be hard, but not impossible by any means."

"What is the fastest flying 100 meters? Somebody said only 45 mph.....I seriously think I can beat that. I'm in prime physical shape right now and if I'm going to set a record now is the time.

What kind of equipment were they using?

I'm doing pretty good with just a shimano 105 equipped bike....with better euipment I know I can do it!!!"

This is not meant as a flame, its merely a celebration of his creativity and superhuman abilities .

Noooooooooo

"I always try to find a good headwind....if It is not sufficiently strong enough I will help it out by applying a little brake pressure. This keeps me from going uncontrollably fast and breaking speed limits."
.

Hahahahahaha.........I'm glad that one made the list. I wrote that one purely as a joke considering that even when I am serious It will most likely be taken as a joke.

Really, 53-11 Alltheway's obviously just trolling for all his worth. We're all taught to ignore his type. But I guess his posts by being ludicrous, can sometimes be hilarious. So if people enjoy his rubbish then I guess that's cool.

Pleeaase do not encourage this guy.

Where's the list of Mertonisms?

Anyway my fav from 53-11 is:

"What is the fastest flying 100 meters? Somebody said only 45 mph.....I seriously think I can beat that. I'm in prime physical shape right now and if I'm going to set a record now is the time."

"Now if only you would put a real cassette (one that begins with an 11) on your rear wheel you might be a challenge for me in a race."

"BTW, all my threads are "On the money".....you just don't know it. I feel like a genius in a sea of morons on these forums sometimes."

"I laugh every time I get on the leg press and push 1100 lbs for 8 reps..."

"1100 lbs for 8 reps: Imagine my acceleration up hills when I am able to fully unleash their potential.....stepping on the 53-11 will be like stepping in a bucket of water: My foot falls to the floor and the crank turns easily."

"My legs have the power!!! I can leg press 1100 lbs for eight reps."

"Yes I can pedal 53-11 on flat ground for over 20 minutes (with some minor coasting) at a cadence of 100 to 110."

"you guys really ride around at over 120 rpm all the time? I don't think I'll ever get used to that. I would say 70 to 90 would be good for me."

"I am in seriously good shape .I have never seen a cyclist in person that was as impressive physically as I am"

"Just remeber one thing everybody:

When I'm pedaling, you;re coasting (downhill)
When you're pedaling, I'm coasting (uphill)."

"This was not meant to be a joke."

Oh man, I love this stuff.

It seems that PenguinDeD covered most of my favorites.

"Now if only you would put a real cassette (one that begins with an 11) on your rear wheel you might be a challenge for me in a race."

"BTW, all my threads are "On the money".....you just don't know it. I feel like a genius in a sea of morons on these forums sometimes."

"I laugh every time I get on the leg press and push 1100 lbs for 8 reps..."

"1100 lbs for 8 reps: Imagine my acceleration up hills when I am able to fully unleash their potential.....stepping on the 53-11 will be like stepping in a bucket of water: My foot falls to the floor and the crank turns easily."

"My legs have the power!!! I can leg press 1100 lbs for eight reps."

"Yes I can pedal 53-11 on flat ground for over 20 minutes (with some minor coasting) at a cadence of 100 to 110."

"you guys really ride around at over 120 rpm all the time? I don't think I'll ever get used to that. I would say 70 to 90 would be good for me."

"I am in seriously good shape .I have never seen a cyclist in person that was as impressive physically as I am"

"Just remeber one thing everybody:

When I'm pedaling, you;re coasting (downhill)
When you're pedaling, I'm coasting (uphill)."

"This was not meant to be a joke." And all this on an old(?) steel bike. Just wait till he gets something up to his mightyness. :D :D :D

take a look at his "Location"... :D


53-11 alltheway
The Bionic Man


Registered: Sep 2004
Location:
On my way to setting cycling records!!

Oh man - reserve a spot for me. I need to do some research. Be back later.

53-11/Rad

Sorebutt has an awesome looking bike....it would have looked better with no graphics though. Stealth look is always the best.

P.S. I like my avatar more than anything else. That captain america next to everything I say only enhances the effect.

Hahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!

Sorebutt has an awesome looking bike....it would have looked better with no graphics though. Stealth look is always the best.
Its an Eisentraut for godsake, you know "the father of U.S. framebuilders", the one
who taught Richard Sachs, Brian Baylis, Tom Kellogg, Ben Serotta to name a few how to
build a bike? The guy who kept U.S. framebuilding going when no one else was.
No, I wouldn't expect you to know who he is, nor any of the others I've mentioned.
You're arogance and posturing is only made more ridiculous by your ignorance
of all things bicycling.

So, what "Stealth" frame do you have?

"Yes I can pedal 53-11 on flat ground for over 20 minutes (with some minor coasting) at a cadence of 100 to 110."

with the help of Analytic Cycling's site, I found:

110 cadence x 53-11, flat ground no wind = 41.84 mph. For 20 minutes. Wow.

Assuming all defaults on the "Power, Given Speed" page, that's a sustained output of 1042 watts. Amazing.

1042 watts is nothing! :lol:

1100bs on a leg press for eight reps Now that takes some power!! :beer:

Oh man - reserve a spot for me. I need to do some research. Be back later.

53-11/Rad

awaiting your reply with bated breath!!

cycleprincess- You must be the one who impersonates my mom? How dare you. :love:

Its an Eisentraut for godsake, you know "the father of U.S. framebuilders", the one
who taught Richard Sachs, Brian Baylis, Tom Kellogg, Ben Serotta to name a few how to
build a bike? The guy who kept U.S. framebuilding going when no one else was.
No, I wouldn't expect you to know who he is, nor any of the others I've mentioned.
You're arogance and posturing is only made more ridiculous by your ignorance
of all things bicycling.

So, what "Stealth" frame do you have?:roflmao: As another happy 'Traut owner, your argument is flawless, but you may have sunk to a new "lo" in being baited by this one... ;)

It's a damn nice bike.....I just didn't realize the signifigance of this heroic frame builder.

P.S. I love these little guys too.------> :bday: (I haven't used this one yet)

1042 watts is nothing! :lol:

1100bs on a leg press for eight reps Now that takes some power!! :beer:


Power is work over time. Lets say you go down a meter in a leg press. W=Fd = ((1100/2.2) 9.81)1m that equals 4905J of work. Lets say each rep takes 6 seconds. 6X11 = 66seconds. P= W/t = 4905/66 = 74W. Yeah, thats a lot of power :rolleyes:

LoL, now to hope my calculations are correct...

Power is work over time. Lets say you go down a meter in a leg press. W=Fd = ((1100/2.2) 9.81)1m that equals 4905J of work. Lets say each rep takes 6 seconds. 6X11 = 66seconds. P= W/t = 4905/66 = 74W. Yeah, thats a lot of power :rolleyes:

LoL, now to hope my calculations are correct...

6 seconds? for one rep :eek:

Your calculations are screwed up. That's oK I don't feel or care to correct them right now.

6 seconds? for one rep :eek:

if you're doing it the way you're supposed to, yeah.

That's true.....builds greater intensity, but if I want to slam them it's easier that way (but dangerous)

I think your units or conversion factor is off. I don't have a book in front of me.

Remember lets just keep this to his past greatest hits

Only 53-11 should be adding new commentary...lol

I think your units or conversion factor is off. I don't have a book in front of me.

I do. The units work out. If you wanted to output 1042 watts, you'd have to do all 8 of your reps in 4.7 seconds (.58 sec/rep).

Edited to add: Sorry, can't resist a little mechanics problem.

I do. The units work out. If you wanted to output 1042 watts, you'd have to do all 8 of your reps in 4.7 seconds (.58 sec/rep).

Edited to add: Sorry, can't resist a little mechanics problem.

Listen man, you're not listening, he likes to "slam them."

This is fantastic! Why didn't anyone think of this before? I'm sort of new to the forum but have started looking for threads by this guy to get my helping of comedy before I sleep. I come looking for advice and leave with sore sides.
I too shall do some research and get back with a favorite.

Listen man, you're not listening, he likes to "slam them."


Yep, I saw that, but that's still a break between each one, right? You'd have to get them ALL done inside 4.7 seconds. I think physically impossible. But he's superhuman, right? So maybe. My only concern is getting the physics correct.

Yep, I saw that, but that's still a break between each one, right? You'd have to get them ALL done inside 4.7 seconds. I think physically impossible. But he's superhuman, right? So maybe. My only concern is getting the physics correct.
Leg press machines make you push the weights up at a 45 degrees angle. so you really move the weight off the ground only 50cm.... :D

Yep, I saw that, but that's still a break between each one, right? You'd have to get them ALL done inside 4.7 seconds. I think physically impossible. But he's superhuman, right? So maybe. My only concern is getting the physics correct.

Maybe he's doing it horizontally... on a frictionless surface... with some kinda spring mass damper to allow the weight to oscillate back and forth.

Something is not right about these calculations :crash: The force required to press 1100 pounds is far greater than the force to pedal 53-11 at 100 rpms. I'll figure it out later. Now it is time for a good 50-60 miler :beer:

Off to my bike!!! :lol:

Hey sorebutt, I live in the Bay Area....less than 30 miles from Oakland. I might pay eisentraut a visit. I've been dreaming up some ideas for a new frame. How do you like dealing with him. Does he just work in steel only.

Hmm, maybe. Also, gravity may be stronger around him, due to his density.

Also, the leg press machines I've used move the weights vertically via a pulley, even if my legs are at a 45 degree angle-- it really only matters how far the weights move vertically, you're right. 1 meter is very, very generous, the whole thing is a lot harder if you're (more realistically) moving the weights up and down only .3 meters or so. And it assumes that you let it crash back down, applying no stopping force.

But for a back of the envelope calculation, we did pretty well, I think. :)

Hey sorebutt, I live in the Bay Area....less than 30 miles from Oakland. I might pay eisentraut a visit. I've been dreaming up some ideas for a new frame. How do you like dealing with him. Does he just work in steel only.
That'll be one expensive frame.

Base cost - $1500
If you watch - $2500
If you help - $5000
If you offer unsolicited opinions or advice - priceless

53-11/Rad

Something is not right about these calculations :crash: The force required to press 1100 pounds is far greater than the force to pedal 53-11 at 100 rpms. I'll figure it out later. Now it is time for a good 50-60 miler :beer:

Off to my bike!!! :lol:


force is a component of power. What you're thinking about is work, which is different than power. Work is the amount of force needed to move something a given distance. Power is work divided by time. Being able to lift heavy weights really has nothing to do with biking.

I understand the relationships between Power, work, Force, torque, leverage, mechanical advantage etc. It just seems like you are missing something (I haven't really though about it too deeply yet). Tell ya what.....I'll go for a ride here shortly and think it over. Muscles have everything to do with cycling (but are not the single most important factor determining success).

Absolute statements such as muscles don't matter are ridiculous. Everything is multifactorial. Human physiology is too complex to cut out one thing entirely. I am very educated in human physiology. I probably have more education in that area than most people here (post-doctoral level). I read volumes of this stuff everyday and can understand from a macroscopic perspective (global level) all the way down to the molecular level (to the electron transport chain and krebs cycle) and everything in between including acid/base physiology. However, I am always trying to learn more. Honestly I was never aware of the various cycling computer programs out there that take into account surface area, wind resistance, etc. Interesting stuff-but of course very cycling specific nothing I would ever encounter in a general medical or physiology text book.

Cyclists have been brainwashed into thinking that muscles don't matter.....That's why most people even pedal a 11T even at moderate cadence on level ground.

Yeah,
when we see you pass Lance in France ...

I understand the relationships between Power, work, Force, torque, leverage, mechanical advantage etc. It just seems like you are missing something (I haven't really though about it too deeply yet). Tell ya what.....I'll go for a ride here shortly and think it over. Muscles have everything to do with cycling (but are not the single most important factor determining success).

Absolute statements such as muscles don't matter are ridiculous. Everything is multifactorial. Human physiology is too complex to cut out one thing entirely. I am very educated in human physiology. I probably have more education in that area than most people here (post-doctoral level). I read volumes of this stuff everyday and can understand from a macroscopic perspective (global level) all the way down to the molecular level (to the electron transport chain and krebs cycle) and everything in between including acid/base physiology. However, I am always trying to learn more. Honestly I was never aware of the various cycling computer programs out there that take into account surface area, wind resistance, etc. Interesting stuff-but of course very cycling specific nothing I would ever encounter in a general medical or physiology text book.

Cyclists have been brainwashed into thinking that muscles don't matter.....That's why most people even pedal a 11T even at moderate cadence on level ground.

You have something to learn??? I don't believe it. Here I was deluding myself thinking you're the end all, be all of information. I'm soooo sad now. Who will teach me now??

The soft part of his skull sometimes gets the best of him
he's a genius in his world..
and someday... with all his dreaming.....
he may even get a speedometer

Hey 55/Rad check out my new user title :lol:

You've been like a father to me....or should I say grandfather!!!!!!! :roflmao:

Hey sorebutt, I live in the Bay Area....less than 30 miles from Oakland. I might pay eisentraut a visit. I've been dreaming up some ideas for a new frame. How do you like dealing with him. Does he just work in steel only.

Ill make sure to warn him.....

If he ever sees an impressive and imposing figure of a man with a quick wit walk into his shop .......that is me (greatness incarnate....IMHO :D )

Cyclists have been brainwashed into thinking I am very educated in human physiology. I probably have more education in that area than most people here (post-doctoral level). Human physiology is too complex to understand. However, I am always trying to pedal a 11T even at moderate cadence on level ground. Tell ya what.....I read volumes of this cycling specific stuff everyday and I was never aware that everything I state is ridiculous.

You can actually mix-and-match his posts and they come out the same. =)

You can actually mix-and-match his posts and they come out the same. =)

You do what everybody else does anyway. At least you are honest about twisting my words :roflmao:

....and don't forget. along with his legendary physical prowess, theres his amazing wit......the surgeon general recommends that anyone with a weak heart does not read the following humour, it is possible that you will suffer from shortness of breath due to laughter....yiou have been warned


Hey Hitchy here is another one for you: 1 + 1= 2. Did you comprehend that? (pause to self.....shakes his head and thinks to himself "probably not")

see what I mean...a physical & mental giant!...i was 'Dumb' struck.....or maybe that was '53-11 alltheway' struck...same thing really!,

Hitchy

"Yes I can pedal 53-11 on flat ground for over 20 minutes (with some minor coasting) at a cadence of 100 to 110."

with the help of Analytic Cycling's site, I found:

110 cadence x 53-11, flat ground no wind = 41.84 mph. For 20 minutes. Wow.

Assuming all defaults on the "Power, Given Speed" page, that's a sustained output of 1042 watts. Amazing.

41.84 mph. For 20 minutes. Wow. thats a 40k tt in 35 min +-

Aaargh! I agree we shouldn't be encouraging him, but it's like waiting in traffic for an hour to pass the crash....you just HAVE to drive slowly to look at the ugly wreck! Here's one of my favorites as if all self-esteem and self-consciousness is based on muscle size:

"I don't care how my bike looks, but I do care what I look like. I think some of you need to lift weights.....because all your worrying about your equipment is stupid and born out of low esteem and self-consciousness".

force is a component of power. What you're thinking about is work, which is different than power. Work is the amount of force needed to move something a given distance. Power is work divided by time. Being able to lift heavy weights really has nothing to do with biking.

Don't make fun of him, he hasn't taken physics yet. Wait till he passes 9th grade then try the conversation again.

Here's a couple good ones...

"Bike fit is more important for preventing knee pain than gearing. I'll have you know that I was fitted properly to the bike...even the 175mm crank arms are the perfect size for the length of my legs."

It's Tuesday, so 175 is perfect.

"If you bought the best titanium frame it would cost you thousands and you might cut a pound off a comparable aluminum frame."

As proven daily the world over in the pro ranks...

"I'm 10 % bodyfat (accurately measured).....My 212 lb weight is mostly muscle...so I can't really cut any more fat off..I'm not trying to win Mr. OLpymia either."

Hope you do better in the evening gown portion of the competition.

"Can you imagine somebody on a century ride with a double!!!!"

Yes, I can. But it's not you.

55/Rad

Now that I've been here more than a couple of days, I find myself wondering if 53-11 alltheway is actually just a very sarcastic individual who laughs at us daily because we take his utter nonsense to heart. Then I remember that I have actually met people like him in person. People that have made me want to pull my own skin off in frustration.

Problem with a civilized society is knuckleheads like him roam freely without experiencing the a$$ whoopings that they so desperately need.