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02-18-11, 05:05 AM
MY girlfriend asked me:
Why don't we ever make love like in a movie?
Soo, I tight her to the bed, covered her eyes, screwed the bejesus out of here and came on her chest - only to realize we don't watch the same kind of movies.
02-18-11, 07:25 PM
Oh man... Isn't there a variation on that, where they guy realizes, too late, that he's in the wrong house? :D
02-19-11, 06:07 PM
There was a story by Roald Dahl about two guys/neighbors swapping wives. They sneaked to each others bedroom at night, it was plot and very funny story.
OK, first of two:
Guy is laid up in the hospital, his best friend comes to see him. "Man, what HAPPENED to you?"
"Aw, I came home drunk the other night."
"And you ended up HERE? What kind of wife do you have?"
"Well... I went upstairs, got undressed, crawled into bed, reached over and felt a warm body; so I rolled over and started goin' at it, y'know? Couple seconds later, I let it slip -- 'Darlin', you're almost as good as my wife.' Woke up HERE."
Guy comes to work with two black eyes; his buddies corner him with, "What happened to YOU?"
"I was waiting for the bus yesterday; when it got there, I was in line to get on right behind this BEAUTIFUL girl, wearing this sexy dress. But her arms were full of bags, and I saw that her dress was stuck in her butt-crack. So, trying to be a gentleman, I pulled it out for her. She screamed, dropped her bags, turned around, and slugged me."
"OK, that's one black eye -- how'd you get the other?"
"Well, when she hit me I figured she wanted in back IN, so I...."