Living Car Free - Zombie Apocalypse

So in my speech class I've given several speeches. All revolving around bicycling or zombies. For my final I need to incorporate an aspect of both into some part of the last speech. So, in a zombie apocalypse, would a bike be useful and if so what kind? This is for a grade guys so shout out some great Car-Free Living - Zombie apocalypse edition ideas :)

If there are a lot of zombies, they can block gas stations.

Zombies aren't that quick, you should be able to outrun them easily on a bike. Bikes FTW!

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php/699579-Which-bike-is-best-.-.-.-for-the-zombie-apocalypse

there is a whole thread on the best bike for the zombie apocalypse. have fun.

Got an undead problem that won't go away? Consider our new bike powered chainsaw attachments for your commute? Thanks for Shopping S-Mart!

Knobby tires give better traction over zombie bodies and the dead bodies of other victims. Mountain bikes would be better.

Use an internal geared hub so that when you roll over zombies their fingers won't get caught in the derailleur and stop you.

In a non-humorous note (if thats possible with the subject matter), bikes can be ridden near-silently in very non-populous regions.

All such good points. But what about carrying guns and survival gear? People tour with stuff but in addition to all the stuff you need on a cross-country ride you need guns and ammo. B.O.B trailer?

Max Brooks, World War Z

Cyclists had the highest rate of survival.

Also read the Zombie Survival Guide

(great books)

Mental note, Surly Pugsley. AKA expedition bike.

Can swap front and rear wheel to be multi speed or fixie.

I would agree that IGHs are way better for dealing with zombies. You don't want to be messing with a touchy derailleur with indexed or friction gearing while you're trying to reload and ride at the same time.

And while we're on the subject of reloading, I'd use automatics rather than revolvers for obvious reasons.

BTW, is this actually a serious academic program that will lead to something of substance?

It's a basic speech class. It's a gen ed requirement. Last class I need to graduate with a bio degree and go to grad school in neurophysiology. Professor doesn't care what we do our speeches on as long as they are the right kind of speech. 1st speech was on the cycling commuting. 2nd was a persuasive speech about why the class would not survive the zombie apocalypse. 3rd speech needs to a plan-of-action speech, what needs to be done to fix the problem addressed in the persuasive speech. To make things interesting I wanted to include an element of my 1st speech in the final one.

You do not have to give speech as far fetched as zombies and cycling. All you have to do is look to Japan. This is real world not some Hollywood movie. Ppl were buying bikes to get around Tokyo because of the transit shutdown. Now ppl in Earthquake area are including bike in the emergency kits.

http://m.sfgate.com/sfchron/db_269940/contentdetail.htm;jsessionid=E6A762FD0565766A7D2ADE2C4E37510F?contentguid=ZGR5mnyU&src=cat&full=true#display

Reality is more scary than fiction...

Oh i know. I picked the zombies to amuse the class because everyone was giving these serious problems and half-assed solutions. I decided to brighten the mood. As for the situation in Japan that place has a much larger cycling community than we do here in the States. I read somewhere 15% of their population bikes vs 3% here. Having been there and studying that culture for over 10 years I know how good their roads are but how much they depend on subway/trains. My connection with the bikes for the zombie apocalypse was you go faster on a bike than you do running from zombies.

To all of you sugggesting that huge bike with insane monstertruck tires, wtf? Why would we run over dead bodies? I agree, kevlar tires would be much smarter. My opinion is to have speed so you can get away from zombies and make your way to a place of refuge.

Zombies cant swim.
Get a boat.

how do you get to said boat?

Exactly! The Zombie Apocalypse and biking is simply to get away from zombies for enough time. As for a boat, they still need gas. And if a sailboat they are harder to fix than a bike, which are also much more abundant to cannibalize for parts.

In terms of local club rides, could we incorporate zombie hunting into them? Instead of mileage we'd keep track of zombie kills.

Zombies cant swim.
Get a boat.

I think it's vampires that can't swim.

Every time I walk into the control room at work at 3 am, I fear the zombie apocalypse has already started...

Im sure zombies cant swim, they move too slow and are full of holes.

This should work!
197731

And if some how zombies learn to outrun your bike or are suddenly able to swim?
Break out some fancy dance moves like MJ, zombies cant help but bust a move.

I think it's vampires that can't swim.

They don't need to.

If your riding with bullhorns I would imagine you could strap your automatic guns to the undersides and pull the trigger not the brake :)

Bull-horn mounted! I'd put some large wald baskets on the back for carrying ammo. I wonder if you would rig a chain feed from front panniers... And what about riding an Xtra and having a tail gunner?

Do they make carbon fiber guns? I wouldn't want to give up a lightweight bike just because the zombies are running amock :p

Oh, no. According to the Honda commercial I just saw, now Zombies are buying their own cars! :eek: :eek: :eek:

But then again, many cyclists have long suspected that some motorists are zombies. :D

The key to surviving the zombie apocalypse is to put as much distance between the zombies and yourself and the problem with this is although zombies do not move quickly they never stop moving and will gain on you when you take time to rest.

A shuffling zombie can only move as fast as I do on foot which is roughly 3km per hour or about 75 km in 24 hours while on my bike I can ride at least 100 km per day and even as far as 200 at much better speeds. A healthy human can walk 75 km in 12 hours and perhaps a little farther but maintaining this pace over an extended period will be very difficult as you will also have to carry weapons and supplies.

In riding you may find yourself moving into other zombie infested areas so in escaping one group of zombies you may find others so you want to avoid populated and previously populated areas.

Zombies lose their sense of sight rather quickly as the eyes dehydrate but retain a keen sense of smell and this is their primary way of locating potential prey... masking your scent with something like smoke could prevent some zombies from catching your scent.

All in all, it takes 1-2 years for a zombie to decompose to the point where they are no longer a threat but most perish much sooner as with a lack of eyesight and no sense to their physical limits (they do not possess superhuman strength), end up taking themselves out.

Zombies pose less of a threat here in the north as at least in winter, without any circulation, they freeze solid and are then easily dispatched.

They can survive long periods of being frozen so when spring thaws come many frozen, albeit freezer burned zombies will resume their hunt for more brains.

By staying in more remote areas and having some wide open spaces you should also be able to see zombies at a distance and for this a long range rifle is an excellent tool as you can dispatch an undead brain eater from about 1000 yards and save the short range ammo for melee situations. A shotgun is best for these situations.

When it comes to friends... you only have them until they are infected and you should show mercy when your friends are bitten or scratched as there is no known cure for zombieitis. Mercy would be capping their ass immediately and taking any of their stuff you may find useful as they won't need it and the other zombies don't use tools.

This is what gets many people... human sympathy and some thought that their friends will somehow beat the odds and survive a zombie attack makes them hold back and not put them out of their misery right away.

The key to surviving the zombie apocalypse is to put as much distance between the zombies and yourself and the problem with this is although zombies do not move quickly they never stop moving and will gain on you when you take time to rest.



So we can assume a zombie on a bicycle would be a masher rather than a spinner. How are they on hills?

Zombies aren't that quick, you should be able to outrun them easily on a bike. Bikes FTW!


not if they are special zombies :D

So we can assume a zombie on a bicycle would be a masher rather than a spinner. How are they on hills?

Zombies lack fine motor skills so if they attempted to ride a bike they would only make it a few feet before they crashed.

Zombies lack fine motor skills so if they attempted to ride a bike they would only make it a few feet before they crashed.

So you're saying they prefer trikes. A Sun EZ-3 maybe?

Nah the zombies couldn't bend their knees enough. If anything they'd be on scooters (non-motorized)

I'm surprised no one mentioned cargo bikes. One person pedaling and the other operating anti-zombie machinery.

On a somewhat serious note, I'm trying to convince my wife that a cargo bike would be perfect to transport our child and replace our one zombiemobile. It would also fit in well for the
zombpocalypse.

On the subject of unusual bikes, probably a tandem would work best. The stroker really only needs their legs and can mount guns on their handlebars. Then attach a cargo trailer. Hell, even attach a tag-along child half-bike thingy for your kid (family of 3 surviving the zombies haha) and then attach a trailer to their seatpost. This set up would make hills EXTREMELY hard I would think, however.

Wow, I would love to see that rig...

Don't forget the great brain spiking tools one can make from parts of bikes, say a fork. Need to have a proper weapon that does not require reloading or what could become scarce ammunition.

Also, bike repair skills will make you more marketable and in demand!

Although, all that money we invested in blinkies would go down the drain.
And yes, scarce amunition. Perhaps we could convert bikes into projectors of spikes or something to defend the base? Like usin the wheel like those things that shoot out baseballs.

What about cleaning? We all know the products to use to get dirt and grime out of our chains and to use SimplyGreen to wash our rigs, but what about blood and guts from zombie killin? Anybody know how to get blood stains off of aluminum or carbonfiber?

http://www.cyclelicio.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/early-icebike-500x436.jpg

http://www.cyclelicio.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/steinlauf-gun-bike-500x427.jpg

....
challenge accepted!

Here is mine, I keep it fueled up with a surprise in the rear case just in case.
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-O05ClFvR864/THfc60pig2I/AAAAAAAAFF8/bzkrdHEEC4w/RAWHIDEROCKY%252520MT500008RS.jpg