Foo - Does anybody here have 0 friends?

For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better. ;)

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?

I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.

Its never too late to make friends. Close deeply rooted friends maybe not. Its harder, seeing as everyone likely has their primary relationships or is working towards it. But no, it isn't too late.

and no, I have never and could never go 3 years. I am too much of a social animal :)

My wife is my best, and pretty much only real life good friend. I'm 47 and I've never been very social in real life. I'm much more social online.

I've actually only made 2 friends in my lifetime, the rest were friends of friends or acquaintances. First one was in 6th grade, I remembered he went to the same elementary school as I did so I started talking to him and we bonded somehow. Second one was during my freshman year at a community college. We were the only Asian in our class so after class I went up to him and asked what kind of an Asian is he? LOL, he was guard off by that question and gave me a WTF? look. So I told him I was Viet, Khmer and Thai and he said he was Chinese. We became friends after that for about 7 years but I avoided him 3 years ago and stop contacting him since.

In spite of living in a 95% white city/town, I don't think my race is a factor in my friendless situation because I rarely ever bump into any race harassments from the people here. The people here are good.

I'm very comfortable with small chit chat but for some reason I haven't been able to go further than that. People don't seem like they want to be friends with me.

I do have low self-esteem and is shy at first but I don't think these two factors are enough for me to be friendless.

Have you tried beer?

Have you tried beer?
I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.

I have a friend that claims to have a debilitating problem in social situations. But he has no trouble communicating online. He is quite intelligent and is probably Autistic/Ausberger. Needless to say, I haven't met him in real life.

He's comfortable with it. At least it seems that way to me.

You sound like me when I was married to my ex. I started cycling and that was then end to that. I usually run into a friend a good portion of the time when I am out riding (excluding lunch rides).
Heck if a starving artist from hamsterdam can find a friend you can as well.

I do not believe that man was created to go through life alone. I do not think it is too late to really make friends. Possessions, health, any material possession can disappear overnight, but a true friendship will last as long as you have a spark of life in your body.

What are these things called friends?

How many of you are engineers?

I haven't any alcohol since Halloween 2009 and haven't smoked weed since 2007. I've been straight-edge for a couple of years now; no drugs, alcohol or medications.

I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.

I meant going out for beers with other guys, it's a good way to make friends.

I am much a loner, but I have had friends, some very close. I do not seek out others.
I could spend the rest of my life without speaking to any one and it would not bother
me.

I do not want you to take this the wrong way. But if you do not have a church, it might
be a place to start.

One thing to remember, a friend is always a friend, with out conditions!

http://www.lockstockandtwofilmgeeks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/20091015-40-year-old-virgin.jpg...

For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better. ;)

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?

You're 29, it's time to move out of your mom's house, your odds of meeting people will go up if you don't live with your parents.

I'm only a little older than you. Why don't you join some groups at work, do some group rides out of shops where you can meet new people. I have made more friends between 27-31 than I have since leaving college. It doesn't hurt that I now have a kid so now all my friends are my daughters playgroup moms and dads. Ok... yes... my wife made all my friends for me.

^^This. Start showing up at places (volunteer groups, local ride groups) and you'll become a regular and meet people.

get some pets from the local shelter.
my cats are a good conversation topic.
why, just right now, one of them is using my arm as a pillow.

Internet is my only friend.

Church, volunteer work, clubs, riding groups, all excellent places to meet people and a nice woman!

How many of you are engineers?

I am. I have many acquaintances, a few friends, and I've been married 27 years... in August.


Anyway, for the OP, I would suggest trying to find a local Facebook group that shares your interests (such as cycling) and just do some activities with them. You'll meet lots of new people and probably even make a few friends. Since you're in Western MA, I did a quick search of Stockbridge, MA bicycle on FB and I only found a link for Berkshire Bike Path (http://berkshirebikepath.com/). That might work, though. Check out their rides; ask the people on the rides whether there are other rides they do, eventually you'll fall in with the cycling crowd. In fact, on first contact, you can ask them about June activities; it looks like their calendar is almost out of date. Then, if you are at all web-savvy, ask whether they would like help in keeping the calendar on their website up to date. Boom! Now you have a legitimate in into the organization.

If you have another strong interest- kayaking or hiking or whatever, just follow the same process.

There's a guy that rides with us that has a habit of saying entirely inappropriate things, especially in mixed company, but he is comfortably part of our riding group. He's working on his internal filters and the members of the group kind of know to expect this kind of stuff out of him. He's actually become one of the more popular members of the group, if only because he is a bit eccentric. Helluva nice guy once you get to know him. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you do find a group, even if you don't hit it off right away, hang around. Most people are pretty good hearted, especially if they share a common interest.


I'm sure I might have some social mental illness but I refuse to see a doctor about it. I don't want to take any antidepressants or medications.

There is more to treatment of minor personality issues than drugging the patient. A good counselor will give you methods to overcome the barriers you see. You may find out you're not all that far off from normal, and frankly, none of us is normal; it's just an act we learn to master at some point. We're all posers deep down.

http://www.lockstockandtwofilmgeeks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/20091015-40-year-old-virgin.jpg...

Dude, that was just not nice...

For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better. ;)

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?

If it weren't for my wife and colleagues I know through school and work, I would pretty much be a hermit.

My wife? does that count? Been married almost 18 years. I do not have any guy friends. One friend at work but we never do anything outside of work.

I had a friend once, but I ran out of money.

I have friends now, but I am on my way to none. And it doesn't bother me in the least.

I had two real, true friends. One of them started to hate me as soon as I started having kids with my wife since he is miserable and can't have his own. My other friend only wants to talk about herself and is the most insecure person I know, so I have been in contact with her less and less. I speak to her a few times a week still, yet I haven't seen her in over two years and I have no desire to, actually.

My wife would say we have tons of friends, but they aren't even aquaintences in my book. They are people we talk to once every few years, and it's all superficial crap and "catching-up" without really meaning anything.

I don't have much family, either. My sister only talks to me if she really needs something or at some holidays, and my dad got into big trouble for something I won't even share on an anonymous Internet forum.

But, we see and talk to my wife's family several times a day. No joke. Every day. Several times. Yikes!!!

My whole point is that I would rather have no friends than superficial fluffy friends. :rolleyes:

How odd.

My wife is my best, and pretty much only real life good friend. I'm 47 and I've never been very social in real life. I'm much more social online.Except for my being 52 this describes my perfectly. I just don't do well talking to people in person.

Thank goodness I have improved. I used to resemble a few of you.
I am friendly in social situations. However, I detest talking to large groups of people or groups that I do not know. Also, after a bit of socializing I need to either drink more beer or retreat into a corner to recharge my batteries.

Professionally I'm told I'm socially adept. My last job and the one I'm about to start is all about presenting in front of people, and making/maintaining good relationships with high power customers. That said there's a difference between what I'm good at and what I necessarily like to do when it comes to my social life.

It was surprising to find during my senior year of college how many people gravitated toward smaller groups, myself included. Now, that behind me, I see myself realistically keeping in touch with only a few. I've found that I have little tolerance for small talk when it comes to my social life. Unlike when I started college, if the relationship I'll have with a personal is comprised of small talk only, then I'd rather not even bother. Also talking about music, movies, pop culture, and how much someone drank last night has no currency with me; again, I'd rather not bother.

Seek professional help.. You don't have to medicate, talking therapy might help a lot.

I'm 56 and for most of my life I've had a few good friendships, which have been all the more important as I've never felt the need to marry. The best times with them are often simply hanging out and doing stuff of mutual interest- cycling, working on cars, going to movies. I will soon be moving to the Southwest and look forward to getting involved with community groups and latching onto group hikes and rides. I've often found that getting involved with group activities often leads to me centering in on a few individuals that particularly 'click' with me, and these "centerings" often lead to friendships that grow beyond the bounds of the group activity. Perhaps this sort of scenario would work for you.

As an aside- one of my most delightful current friendships is with my 15 year old cousin, who's really getting interested in cycling. He really likes to talk to me and it's fun to have someone around who doesn't take me too seriously. I'm taking him mountain biking this weekend.

How many of you are engineers?

Lol...

There is a big handful of people in my life that I can say almost anything to, that I can call out of the blue and talk to about personal stuff, people that I feel very comfortable with. But I might go weeks without talking to any of them. Some of them I have known for decades. Some for only a short time. Some I see weekly. Some yearly - if that often.
My wife is my companion but we pretty much do our own things. She watches TV and reads. I ride my bikes and do outdoor stuff. We ALWAYS eat supper together.
I thoroughly enjoy my own company. I like doing things with others but mostly prefer to do things alone. I love my freedom.
Spent half the day today fishing with a friend and it was great fun but in the end I was happy to be back by myself.

Maybe you are the type of person who doesn't need to be sitting in a crowd all the time. Ever consider that?

You never know when a friend will come along, or what form it will take.

I gave a birthday party for some friends of mine, twins, they had a house
guest and asked if she could come to the party, which of course was fine.
The house guest was the rudest, most hateful, self centered, did I mention
rude one person I have ever encountered. It was hate at first sight, and
it was from both sides!

To make a long story short, we have been together sixteen years, married
for eight.

She is the light of my life!

http://img448.imageshack.us/img448/3585/kimberlexx3ho.jpg

Fake cover BTW!!

Volunteer

Do a search for Reading Literacy Project. I did it years back. They needed reading tutors. You would go to a short training then once a week you would go to a school or whatever and help an adult learn to read. It was totally non-stessful. It was fun. I've also worked for Big Brother, but it was a little more involved. Don't know if they still have that.

The point is, go and do some volunteer work.

That is what a professional will end up telling you, or having you do as part of your treatment.
Try it. It will help. I guarantee.
Really. Just STFU and go do it.

-60 for me:(

You never know when a friend will come along, or what form it will take.

I gave a birthday party for some friends of mine, twins, they had a house
guest and asked if she could come to the party, which of course was fine.
The house guest was the rudest, most hateful, self centered, did I mention
rude one person I have ever encountered. It was hate at first sight, and
it was from both sides!

To make a long story short, we have been together sixteen years, married
for eight.

She is the light of my life!

http://img448.imageshack.us/img448/3585/kimberlexx3ho.jpg

Fake cover BTW!!

Where's the fold-out chump?Leave us hanging?

How odd.

Did he say "fluffer"?

For the past 3 years, excluding co-workers the only people I communicate with on a regularly basis are my mom, younger brother and sister. My sister moved out a year ago so it's just down to my mom and brother now.

I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?
I'd say that you are being very honest with yourself. Most people (except when you are in high school) have very few friends-or even much of a social life anymore. High school/college friends drift apart over the years. Job and family duties reign supreme over "get-togethers." and the like. And let's face it, the dog-eat-dog environment of a typical work place is not very supportive to anything resembling a friendship, much less a marital one. We are a isolated nation just as we need social support the most.


Strangely, apart of me loving being like this but I also am dying for some companionship too. I don't need 10 friends or anything like that; just one or two would be a enough. A girlfriend would even better. ;)

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?

I always been a bit of a loner, so this new world was not too much of a shock to me. Actually I been going about 36 years without the traditional social support system when my best friend was murdered, and my ex was not a dreamboat. End of story.

Don't worry, you will adjust like I did.

For the past 3 years...I'll be 29 next Thursday and I want to know if it's too late to make friends at this age in life?

Has anybody else ever gone 3+ years without friends or a social life?

if you drink or do drugs you can be an artist. being an artist is the only meaningful way to have friends, in my experience.... i think the logic of it, is that you do entertaining stuff, and it must be you that's entertaining, so it's expected...
going to church, even a buddhist place, hasn't worked for me. i would like to try it again, but i worry about fitting in....
...or, you could hang out with some poor and/or homeless people. you could take a homeless or homeless looking person out to eat. do it like every week. same person.
i've taken a homeless looking person out to eat when he came up to me at night with an ex-girlfriend and told me he killed someone, and needed money. he said some good stuff, but it was pretty worthless. i think if i chose a homeless looking person to meet every week it would be more fulfilling.
put an ad in craigslist, or go to a church to find a homeless person or poor person. i used to go to church and volunteer a lot, so maybe i'll slip back into that and try to take a poor person out to eat....
i worry, what if the person didn't say much and was boring even if you give them a free meal? should i try dating instead? haha.

I've never had a problem meeting people. Just have a lot of interests, which will make you interesting. And for ****'s sake, don't be insecure. There's just no reason for it ever.

Where's the fold-out chump?Leave us hanging?

She was in all the JC Pennys catalogs from 1982 to 2002. Most of
the "Tall" catalogs during last ten years. She is 6'3" BTW!

Best you are going to get!

i think many of the responses resemble ideas from the movie "Fight Club".

I have friends now, but I am on my way to none. And it doesn't bother me in the least.

I had two real, true friends. One of them started to hate me as soon as I started having kids with my wife since he is miserable and can't have his own. My other friend only wants to talk about herself and is the most insecure person I know, so I have been in contact with her less and less. I speak to her a few times a week still, yet I haven't seen her in over two years and I have no desire to, actually.

My wife would say we have tons of friends, but they aren't even aquaintences in my book. They are people we talk to once every few years, and it's all superficial crap and "catching-up" without really meaning anything.

I don't have much family, either. My sister only talks to me if she really needs something or at some holidays, and my dad got into big trouble for something I won't even share on an anonymous Internet forum.

But, we see and talk to my wife's family several times a day. No joke. Every day. Several times. Yikes!!!

My whole point is that I would rather have no friends than superficial fluffy friends. :rolleyes:

Having kids = you drop off the face of the planet for a few years OR you find friends who have kids as well.

Have you tried beer?

rotflmao

:thumb:
:beer:

Seriously, some people have more friends than others. My wife is my #1 buddy.

rotflmao

:thumb:
:beer:

Seriously, some people have more friends than others. My wife is my #1 buddy.
Right. I guess it's only a problem if you want more friends but can't befriend anybody.

She was in all the JC Pennys catalogs from 1982 to 2002. Most of
the "Tall" catalogs during last ten years. She is 6'3" BTW!

Best you are going to get!

Thanks.....found a 2000 Christmas underwear issue!.........off to the restroom.

Many men do not have friends. They may have one old friend but usually not more than that. These are the men who will date or marry a woman and consider her to be his best friend and are always lingering in her armpit. This is very sad. Men tend to keep to themselves a bit but many know how to stay cool, share a beer and shoot the crap with one another. I don't understand why they are afraid of sticking it out and becoming friends.

If your looking for friends, volunteer. The same small group of people help out in numerous groups, and they're all looking for more help. You'll know more people than you thought you could in a little while if you stick with it. If you're looking for unconditional love, get a pet.