Classic & Vintage - Losing bikes in separation, what to do?

I know my problems are piddly compared to what many people go through but for me it is a big part of my life.

My partner of 5 years and I are going separate ways, kind of mutual (due to personal issues on both ends).
The mess has not yet manifested itself but splitting up property is coming next week and she wants the bikes that I bought and fit her.
I've heard from some friends that I need to write them off as a life lesson, take them when she's not around, and consider them parting gifts of our realtionship.

The only problem is I REALLY LIKE THE BIKES.
I spend a lot of my time talking to the fine community of C&V (aside from the last 3 weeks, ughhhh) and consider many of you to be friends as well.

They both fit her, and she rides them consistently, but if she wants to take the next stage of her life freely wandering around looking for a wild experience (moving about the nation without an income) then the bikes would be susceptible to neglect or worse.

I'm thankful that we never bought that condo, and that we only have three pets and some plants to split up, no kids.

Thanks for letting me vent for a moment, I appreciate any advice given and every little bit helps.

The UO-18 with old peugot bell, TA accessories, now has an ADGA saddle, and a lot of tasty old french bits
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-FFmOi9P_VXo/Th2lMviVVnI/AAAAAAAAAjg/0V0XWN8j1DY/s800/IMG_20110512_191749.jpg

The CP-60, Heavy but original, columbus brain, full 9s veloce, all original and a beautiful bike that gets compliments everywhere.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-J25Ak_z8UqM/S3s_N9MsJfI/AAAAAAAAAj4/5O9yz-nCI_o/s800/2010-02-15%25252015.03.34.jpg

I'm sure there's already enough sorrow in the whole event. I'd let them go and begin again with other bikes. Good luck.

Don't sweat it, unless you are forced to pay bike support. She actually rides them, and that is a good thing in and unto itself.

I agree with the dbakl and cycleheimer. That said... could you say yes, the bikes are hers, but you'll be happy to store one of them them for her if she's not going to be using it for a while?

If and when you get another girlfriend, she will NOT want a ex's bike. Lose the bikes. Build a new history with the new girl and bike(s).

On another note, it is telling that you are worried about the old bikes being ridden and used, but not about the ex being ridden and used by someone else. Definitely time to move on!

On another note, it is telling that you are worried about the old bikes being ridden and used, but not about the ex being ridden and used by someone else. Definitely time to move on!

HAH!
I'm not going to get started on a public forum about all THAT.

Let her take the bikes. Make a new beginning.

Take the high road, let them go with her ....

Scott

Agree with everything that's been said so far. Take the high road and let her have them. At some point, you'll be glad you did. If, as it seems, the break-up is causing some bitterness, why keep the bikes as a reminder? New GF will not want ex's bikes. Get new bikes and new GF, not necessarily in that order. Good luck to you!

I agree with everybody. Let her have them. They were built and fit to her, let them be a gift. Bikes are great but they're not worth a messy battle over. Offer to take care of them if need be, but let her know they are hers.

Let her have the bikes, life goes on.

Why not offer to buy them from her? If she's roaming the earth, she might want some money. If she won't sell, then you have to move on.

That CP-60 looks fun, could you trade the dog for it?

Let her have them. There are always more bikes. And more partners that aren't the same size as those bikes.

Next time plan ahead and sell the bikes prior.

Long Long ago, I bought a Masi Gran Criterium for the girlfriend, assuming one day she would be the Mrs. I gave her the bike. She sold it about 6 months later for a nice sum.
15 years later, she regretted departing ways and selling off the Masi. She test rode a number of bikes but none compared to that one, she had been spoiled.

Besides, you're going to select a new babe based on the size of bike she needs?!
Best to hang around those coffee houses with your most attractive bike and find a new girl. Who has a her OWN bikes.

Bummer. Guess they're sort of like engagement rings that you really can't give to the next gf, so maybe it's best that she keeps them as they probably were gifts if things get testy about them.

What good is it to hang onto a pair of bikes that:

A. Probably don't fit you.
B. Aren't special (specifically, the UO series peugeot. The moment you give it to her, another will pop up).
C. Will otherwise keep another cyclist on the road - and considering her new outlook on life, she might just wind up having to use that UO-8 more than she expects.
D. They're Peugeots :P

Give them to her - you got them for her in the first place. Since the separation is mutual and seems to be without any unnecessary animosity, I dare say she'll appriciate it too.

-Kurt

Let them go. Offer to tune them up before she takes off. Put Limburger in the bottom bracket. Silently smile to yourself for years as you think about it.

Ball bearing in the tubes. Let her have them, knowing it will drive her crazy.

BBM and OFG are trying to create bad bike kharma. ;) You need good. She'll ride 'em - let 'em go.

Swap the wheelset out on the CP-60 for something cheaper and black that won't get noticed for a while. Leave the rest.

When I split with my live-in GF she got the Nintendo. I got the cats though so I didn't mind so much.

New girlfriend & new bikes .

win/win

Scott

BBM and OFG are trying to create bad bike kharma. ;) You need good. She'll ride 'em - let 'em go.

I inferred from one of his replies, that her riding more than one may be the source of the problems. A ball bearing is kinder than a loose stem.

New girlfriend & new bikes .

win/win

Scott

Scott, you are a rogue!

Scott, you are a rogue!

Thank you sir! :D

Scott

I inferred from one of his replies, that her riding more than one may be the source of the problems. A ball bearing is kinder than a loose stem.

And kinder than fitting one of those pretty French ATAX "death stems". And on the first note, I had this conversation once:

GF:"Why do you have so many bikes?"
ME:"Well, all of them have their own qualities, occasions, characters, levels of maintenance - they're all unique and ride so much different, I can't make a choice to settle on just one."
GF:"I guess you're the same with girls then!"

I had to bite my lip on that one :)

We digress!

I'm all for monogamy, but it has its place. It does not apply to musicians who are in a band but want to play with other musicians. And it does not apply to toys. In fact, the list of things it does apply to is very short, and the list of things it does not apply to is pretty much infinite.

Take some really great photos of the bikes and make an album for them, then kiss them goodbye.

+1, let the bikes go, bid farewell to all three, and begin anew.

Watch Minneapolis CL for something that tweaks you, I know a good facilitator there :)

Give her the bikes...get a new woman who is taller :)

Really, isn't part of the fun the search??? I've sold off some bikes I really like, but I don't really miss them much. Too many other bikes to think about.

Legal rules vary by location, but if you gave them to her, and it sounds like you did, the bikes are hers under most area laws. The reason that's not true for engagement gifts is that they're considered part of a contract...I give ring, we get married. If the marriage doesn't happen, the contract wasn't fulfilled and the ring reverts to giver. In a divorce, the woman typically is entitled to the ring (sometimes it's part of settlement, but it's her ring legally) since the contract was fulfilled. I think morally, I'd let her keep them and I think legally, they're probably hers.

Emotionally you will be healthier in the long run to let them go and walk away. I gave my ex a huge drafting table that I would love to have kept, but it was just not worth the hassle. And it's only going to rot away in her father's barn, at least your ex is riding the bikes.

Give her the bikes...get a new woman who is taller :)


this is a good point. If you keep the bikes you will constantly be trying to date women who fit them ;)

We digress!

I'm all for monogamy, but it has its place. It does not apply to musicians who are in a band but want to play with other musicians. And it does not apply to toys. In fact, the list of things it does apply to is very short, and the list of things it does not apply to is pretty much infinite.

I was all for monogamy until I was married to the same woman for 17 years... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahahahahaha *cough*

Sorry to hear about your separation. I agree with the others above that letting them go is the best course of action, especially since they were built for her and she does use them. (Much easier to swallow than a non-cyclist, vindictive spouse going after your bikes.) Plus, if you keep them, they will be a constant reminder. If you fight her about the bikes, she will fight you on all the other belongings.

It seems to me that they are already her bikes since you specifically bought and fit them to her. You need to let go.

We digress!

I'm all for monogamy, but it has its place. It does not apply to musicians who are in a band but want to play with other musicians. And it does not apply to toys. In fact, the list of things it does apply to is very short, and the list of things it does not apply to is pretty much infinite.

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

Couldn't resist.

Sure, let her have the bikes. That way, she can ride the Mixte. Her new Boyfriend with short legs,
can ride the other one.

Ok, ok, just kidding.

Johnnybee.

I've been in your shoes. Let the bikes go. Trust me, the next few weeks will be far more pleasant if you do.

I'd let them go as the last thing I'd want around is a constant reminder of my ex. Dont be surprised if she wants them just to piss you off. Sub all the TA goodies for generics, hand over the bikes and be dome with it.

They're her bikes, period. Honestly, why would anyone think differently? Let them go with her.

And, while I'm sure that BBM and OFG were posting in jest, the dirty tricks they suggest are unworthy of a grown-up. Ditto with the suggestions to substitute inferior components. You want to end this relationship? then do so with dignity and maturity.

They're her bikes, period. Honestly, why would anyone think differently? Let them go with her.

And, while I'm sure that BBM and OFG were posting in jest, the dirty tricks they suggest are unworthy of a grown-up. Ditto with the suggestions to substitute inferior components. You want to end this relationship? then do so with dignity and maturity.

:rolleyes:

Words fail me.

Throw them off the Freemont bridge into the willamette?


:innocent:

If you fight her about the bikes, she will fight you on all the other belongings.

However, if you give them to her she might feel you'll cave on anything else and then it's on (if she's wired like my soon-to-be-ex) :)

I agree with everyone else, though: let her have them. If she's riding them and continues to do so, you can rest at night knowing she's not just wanting them as "things" she gets to relieve you of, or "sentimental items". It sounds as though you are splitting on good terms and there's a level of respect remaining. The best way to maintain that is to let her have/use them.

My condolences to you - I know the feeling; this has been a rough year for me while I've gone through a messier version of the same thing. Good luck and keep your head up!

DD

Letting the bikes go will be the best thing you can do.

They're her bikes, period. Honestly, why would anyone think differently? Let them go with her.

And, while I'm sure that BBM and OFG were posting in jest, the dirty tricks they suggest are unworthy of a grown-up. Ditto with the suggestions to substitute inferior components. You want to end this relationship? then do so with dignity and maturity.

David, My ex-wife from over a couple decades ago wanted my Cinelli out of spite, because she knew I got enjoyment out of it.

If I had a GF/fiance that was sleeping around, a ball bearing in the top tube would be the nicest thing I would do.

I am from DTW, grew up on the East side ...(moderator redacted)

Once again, a ball bearing ain't gonna hurt her, just remind her.

(moderator redacted)

GF's and wife's are dif matters.

I stand by the bb in the top tube. Chainstays/forks are good, too.

If you want to be kinder, a washer on a string, attached to the seatpost works just as well.

Hope the next guy she beds with is a good wrench ;)

Don't dive into the shallow end of the pool, no matter how tempting. I divorced my ex after 12 years of marriage. Neither of us were sleeping with other people. We divorced because we weren't happy, which is the best reason. Let it go, don't put anything in her bike, don't sink to that level. Just let them go.

Move on, date a more beautiful woman. Date several beautiful women.

Or do what I did: meet someone better in every way (and I do mean, in every way), fall madly in love with that person, and forget your ex as much as you can (I have a kid with him, so I can't forget him as much as I'd like). Then spend the rest of your life wondering: what the heck was I thinking with that first one?

Move on, date a more beautiful woman. Date several beautiful women.


+1. Best possible advice right there.

let the bikes go. don't keep those pictures, just make it a clean brake and move on.

+1. Best possible advice right there.

What's the sign say on the bar by the airport? 100 Beautiful Girls and 3 Ugly Ones ?