Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) - Athena wife wants to ride

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antimike
07-26-11, 02:12 PM
So I was out and about with the wife up in Tucson this past weekend looking at mountain bikes for me. I'm eyeing a 29er, but I digress....
While I was test riding and checking out the bikes, I noticed that she had this sad expression on her face and that piqued my interest. She told me that she'd tell me about it when we left, and all thoughts of me putting the deposit down on the bike had left my mind. So we get in the car, and she tells me that she feels left out. I'm like...ummm why left out? Well apparently since I started road biking and mountain biking more, she feels like I'm not making time for us to enjoy the sport together.
She also expressed to me that she wants a road bike. Currently she has a mountain bike and has reservations that she won't be able to keep up with me while I am on the road bike as well as on the mountain bike since I have been riding longer than she has. I'm definitely excited that she wants to ride, but I have the same hold ups that she did when I purchased my road bike. She thought that I wasn't going to ride it at all. It turns out that I try to ride 3+ days a week on group rides, and solo rides whenever it fancies me.
We got through the fact that I was shocked that she wanted a road bike and, I expressed my concerns. I want to do this with her and nothing more could make me happy to have my wife enjoy and spend time cycling with me.
Now comes the hard part, she has set a budget ($700) that I will be helping her with and I am somewhat clueless about the world of bikes for women. Last year she test rode a Giant Avail 3 (I believe) and she said that she liked it. I was looking at pricing for those bikes and they are just outside of her budget.
There are three important aspects of a road bike that the cares about:
1. Fit
2. Cost
3. Color (she doesn't want an extremely girly looking bike so pastels and pinks are a no no)
For me wanting a bike for her I value the following:
1. Fit
2. Quality components (wheels, shifting...etc)
3. Cost
Can anyone help me with trying to find a women's specific road bike that can fit HER wants? I am not opposed to buying offline or even purchasing a men's bike for her to try and satisfy the color requirements.
She is about 190 and losing weight it seems like daily, 5'7", and could use some additional flexibility. I think a more relaxed geometry bike would be for the best at least at this point in time.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Mr. Beanz
07-26-11, 02:33 PM
She has a $700 budget ? How much is your budget for the new MTB that you really don't need? :innocent:
My wife's bike is 3 times the price of mine and it was a very worth while investment. She used to sit home while I rode with my friends as well. Then I asked myself, "what am I doing?" My friends don't do the things for me that she does. Make cycling good and fun for her, you won't be sorry! We have lots of good times together.
edbikebabe
07-26-11, 02:39 PM
At 5'7", she likely doesn't need a women's specific bike - that adds a lot more options to the mix. Do what you did when you bought a bike - head to a good shop(s) and test ride, test ride, test ride.
Pamestique
07-26-11, 03:05 PM
Just trust me on this... she has a bike, just put on road slicks on it and the two of you get out and ride. See if she is really really committed to riding before investing in something else. What she really wants to do is spend time with you... you get that right? She doesn't want to become a racer or fast chick on bike, she just wants an activity with you.
If you have an old bike turn it into a singlespeed or put the knobby tires on your bike to slow you down. Plan short, easy outings to a coffee shop or park and just enjoy the time with your wife (and ride slow....really slow - let her set the pace not vice versa). If she really gets into it, and commits to riding, then buy her something better.
I tell my friends not to buy nice bikes for their wives... check the classifies... plenty of garages have bikes sitting in them that husbands bought with the best intentions! Better t get a good used bikes then a cheap bike that only does so much. I bought a secondary bike that originally costs $2300 (its full Ultegra) for $150. It was practically brand new and had just been sitting in a garage for 4 years. I added new tires and tuned it - good to go. Sold it to a friend getting into cycling for $500! Still a great deal!
You also need to explain to your wife just because she gets a road bike doesn't mean she will keep up. You made a commitment to cycling and are more advanced. She needs to get to the same place... hopefully she will with your patience and understanding.
If you go the new bike route the only really meaningful consideration should be fit. Unless she has very long legs, a short torso and long arms, she doesn't need a WSD bike. But she does need to be satisfied with geometry - there is a big different from a mountain bike, comfort style bike and a classic road bike. Which one will she feel comfortable on and keep riding with? Test riding bikes is only good if you are going to buy that specific bike as different brands and models fit differently. I am 5'8" and ride anything from a 51 " (my Lemond) to a 55" (the Landshark).
Again best bet - buy some good wheels for the MTBike and put on slicks...
chasm54
07-26-11, 03:09 PM
I'd be more inclined than edbikebabe to recommend a WSD. In the experience of female riders I have talked to, it isn't just a question of size but of altered geometry and ergonomics. Something like a Trek 1.2 WSD is probably just outside the budget you have specified, but we're approaching the time of year when lots of this year's models will be in clearance sales...
Mr. Beanz
07-26-11, 03:15 PM
I'd be more inclined than edbikebabe to recommend a WSD. In the experience of female riders I have talked to, it isn't just a question of size but of altered geometry and ergonomics. Something like a Trek 1.2 WSD is probably just outside the budget you have specified, but we're approaching the time of year when lots of this year's models will be in clearance sales...
+1...Gina loves her WSD because of the seriously sloping toptube, narrow handlebars, and easy reach brake levers. She also has a traditional frame bike that she likes but is not as comfy as the WSD for obvious reasons.
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l267/gulpxtreme/SA%20River%20Trail%20Ride/Trek.jpg
I second the recommendation for WSD. We really do have different proportions.
I'd be inclined to put the ball in her court -- let her go to bike shops and test-ride and talk to the staff. Make sure she's choosing what she wants, because it's easy for the more enthusiastic/experienced partner to steamroll the other, and then the whole thing becomes enthusiastic partner's project and other partner feels left-out and resentful and doesn't wany to play any more.
Pamestique
07-26-11, 03:27 PM
+1...Gina loves her WSD because of the seriously sloping toptube, narrow handlebars, and easy reach brake levers. She also has a traditional frame bike that she likes but is not as comfy as the WSD for obvious reasons.
http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l267/gulpxtreme/SA%20River%20Trail%20Ride/Trek.jpg
Beanz isn't Gina short(er)? I need wider handlebars (I have broad shoulders) and a WSD bike is very uncomfortable for me (since I am taller). I don't think one can assume just because the rider is female a WSD works best. I like the option of WSD bikes but they don't work for every female rider. None of my buddies ride a WSD bike. I used to ride a Lemond Zurich. It has a very agressive top tube length. I rode that way for years. My new bike is less agressive and my reach to the handlebars more comfortable but its hardly a WSD bike as I feel really bunched up on those bikes. Just FYI for antimike.
And i think Thalia hit the nail on the head when she says "...because it's easy for the more enthusiastic/experienced partner to steamroll the other, and then the whole thing becomes enthusiastic partner's project and other partner feels left-out and resentful and doesn't want to play any more"
Mr. Beanz
07-26-11, 04:14 PM
Beanz isn't Gina short(er)? I need wider handlebars (I have broad shoulders) and a WSD bike is very uncomfortable for me (since I am taller).
5'4 with narrow shoulders. :D
5'7 (OP's) wife, you'd think she's tall but not all 5'7 women have long legs or can swing their leg up and over straddle a traditional top tubes so she just may love the WSD. And not all 5'7 women have broad shoulders so narrow bars "may" work. Brake levers are good too. I'm not saying go that direction, I'm saying don't discount the WSD designs for reasons mentioned.
Pamestique
07-26-11, 04:29 PM
I am 5' 8" and my legs aren't long; neither are my arms which is why the WSD (made for women with long legs and arms but a short torso - top tubes are short but bikes are tall) bikes don't work for me. I am more evenly proportioned like a guy.
Frankly thats why the OP needs to just stay with the MTBike for awhile... fit is not as important on a MTBike and by adding road slicks, the bike will move along faster. By the time his wife is getting better, they can better assess riding style and type of bike. Even if the budget is only $700 that is still alot of money to spend on a bike that will not get ridden.
Mr. Beanz
07-26-11, 04:39 PM
Frankly thats why the OP needs to just stay with the MTBike for awhile... fit is not as important on a MTBike and by adding road slicks, the bike will move along faster. .
That is a very good idea, even better if the guy rides the same set up. When I train and drop weight for a ride, there are times it makes it hard for Gina to keep up with cruising speed if she's lacking in any way. Those times I will ride my MTB with knobbies 40 miles on the trail in order to get a good workout but yet allowing her to keep up on her road bike.
It is kind of weird how many guys won't give a gal the advantage to even things out though. I've done it many times and it pays off in the long run. Taking your wife out on an MTB with slicks and kicking her butt on a roadie won't make it enjoyable for her. I have friends that ride their roadies but their wives ride MTB's, cheap saddles and shorts struggling to keep up then wonder why their wives don't enjoy the activity.
TrojanHorse
07-26-11, 06:11 PM
Btw, I recently got my wife a WSD Cannondale Synapse and she loves that thing... with Tiagra it ended up about 1k. She says she's 5'6, one bike shop lady said she was only 5'4 and we've never been back to that bike shop again. LOL Interestingly, REI carries them, might make it easier to get tweaked after you buy it.
I'm going to have to side with Beanz on this issue of getting your wife a nice bike, if you start short-speccing it you'll be sending an unintentional message. That's not to say you should buy a 10k racing bike but get her something nice that she'll enjoy riding.
And only a dirtbag drops his wife when they're riding together. ;)
Mr. Beanz
07-26-11, 06:50 PM
And only a dirtbag drops his wife when they're riding together. ;)
I won't argue, my friends are dirtbags!:D (non forum members that I used to ride with ;))
monkeydentity
07-26-11, 11:39 PM
+1 for letting her take the lead and buy something nice, something that's her own. easier to get excited about something that feels like a ferrari than a volkwagon with racing tires...
JusticeZero
07-27-11, 02:51 AM
Going to have to also disagree with Pam. MTB is quite a bit more upright. That's more wind resistance. I have to try very hard not to drop my wife on her Trek Navigator; it fits her well, but she's upright and might as well be wearing a parachute. She notices it, too, and I think it's a bit awkward and contributes to us going on fewer rides. I have a lot more leg strength than her from other things I do and it's hard for me to not feel a bit odd when my cadence gets up into the 120+ range in first gear because if I shift, i'll drop her like a hot plate of cookies.
When she had her road bike available to her, rides were much more enjoyable, I could hit a comfortable cadence on the cargo bike and work a bit, and she was right up there with me having fun; we'd end up miles from home somehow and get home in a good mood.
Later this year when I have money, i'm contemplating getting it shipped if I can find room - but i'd want to change out some things (brakes, mainly, and maybe brake handles/hoods, if they even make non-brifter hoods anymore) and put bigger tires on.. unfortunately, I don't know if it would accept them. Sadly, if I can't find the clearance for the tires, the bike would be nigh unrideable here.
bautieri
07-27-11, 05:17 AM
Here is a radical suggestion:
Combine your new mountain bike budget plus her road bike budget and buy a tandem. You'll be spending time together, plus you won't have to worry about dropping her. They also look like a metric butt-load of fun. 700 for a new WSD road bike that meets your specs is going to be tough to find unless you buy used or online. I agree with what Pam said, she wants to be out there with you. If she doesn't like the tandem idea, be sure that you let her pick out the bike she wants. If that breaks the budget, so be it.
nfmisso
07-27-11, 06:03 AM
Here is a radical suggestion:
Combine your new mountain bike budget plus her road bike budget and buy a tandem. You'll be spending time together, plus you won't have to worry about dropping her. They also look like a metric butt-load of fun. 700 for a new WSD road bike that meets your specs is going to be tough to find unless you buy used or online. I agree with what Pam said, she wants to be out there with you. If she doesn't like the tandem idea, be sure that you let her pick out the bike she wants. If that breaks the budget, so be it.
+1 that is why we have the T50. In addition, my wife has balance issues, and cannot ride solo, but she wants to spend time with me.
You can find good used tandems in your budget. The first generation Trek tandems (T50, T100, T200) all used the same frame (most important part of a tandem). The are very rigid, the stoker is not cramped; and came with nice sealed bearing wheels. And they are fast on the level. :)
Is she willing to go vintage? There are lots of lovely 531 Reynolds frames out there that are lovely.
I currently have a Gazelle Champion Mondial 531 Reynolds mixte with mavic rims, 25mm tires and cinelli drops, Brooks saddle. Got it all under 150 dollars. I've been using it for the last 6 months to really get an idea of who I am as a rider while saving money for the next bike.
ill.clyde
07-27-11, 07:39 AM
Just trust me on this... she has a bike, just put on road slicks on it and the two of you get out and ride. See if she is really really committed to riding before investing in something else. What she really wants to do is spend time with you... you get that right? She doesn't want to become a racer or fast chick on bike, she just wants an activity with you.
If you have an old bike turn it into a singlespeed or put the knobby tires on your bike to slow you down. Plan short, easy outings to a coffee shop or park and just enjoy the time with your wife (and ride slow....really slow - let her set the pace not vice versa). If she really gets into it, and commits to riding, then buy her something better.
I tell my friends not to buy nice bikes for their wives... check the classifies... plenty of garages have bikes sitting in them that husbands bought with the best intentions! Better t get a good used bikes then a cheap bike that only does so much. I bought a secondary bike that originally costs $2300 (its full Ultegra) for $150. It was practically brand new and had just been sitting in a garage for 4 years. I added new tires and tuned it - good to go. Sold it to a friend getting into cycling for $500! Still a great deal!
You also need to explain to your wife just because she gets a road bike doesn't mean she will keep up. You made a commitment to cycling and are more advanced. She needs to get to the same place... hopefully she will with your patience and understanding.
If you go the new bike route the only really meaningful consideration should be fit. Unless she has very long legs, a short torso and long arms, she doesn't need a WSD bike. But she does need to be satisfied with geometry - there is a big different from a mountain bike, comfort style bike and a classic road bike. Which one will she feel comfortable on and keep riding with? Test riding bikes is only good if you are going to buy that specific bike as different brands and models fit differently. I am 5'8" and ride anything from a 51 " (my Lemond) to a 55" (the Landshark).
Again best bet - buy some good wheels for the MTBike and put on slicks...
~swoon~
;)
antimike
07-27-11, 09:48 AM
She has a $700 budget ? How much is your budget for the new MTB that you really don't need? :innocent:
My wife's bike is 3 times the price of mine and it was a very worth while investment. She used to sit home while I rode with my friends as well. Then I asked myself, "what am I doing?" My friends don't do the things for me that she does. Make cycling good and fun for her, you won't be sorry! We have lots of good times together.
The mountain bike that I want was on sale for $599.
We're looking at various models and we're going to get her to test ride some more bikes. Yesterday she test road a Trek 1.2 alpha (men's) 54cm because the other shop didn't have anything in her size and she said it felt great.
antimike
07-27-11, 09:50 AM
Just trust me on this... she has a bike, just put on road slicks on it and the two of you get out and ride. See if she is really really committed to riding before investing in something else. What she really wants to do is spend time with you... you get that right? She doesn't want to become a racer or fast chick on bike, she just wants an activity with you.
If you have an old bike turn it into a singlespeed or put the knobby tires on your bike to slow you down. Plan short, easy outings to a coffee shop or park and just enjoy the time with your wife (and ride slow....really slow - let her set the pace not vice versa). If she really gets into it, and commits to riding, then buy her something better.
I tell my friends not to buy nice bikes for their wives... check the classifies... plenty of garages have bikes sitting in them that husbands bought with the best intentions! Better t get a good used bikes then a cheap bike that only does so much. I bought a secondary bike that originally costs $2300 (its full Ultegra) for $150. It was practically brand new and had just been sitting in a garage for 4 years. I added new tires and tuned it - good to go. Sold it to a friend getting into cycling for $500! Still a great deal!
You also need to explain to your wife just because she gets a road bike doesn't mean she will keep up. You made a commitment to cycling and are more advanced. She needs to get to the same place... hopefully she will with your patience and understanding.
If you go the new bike route the only really meaningful consideration should be fit. Unless she has very long legs, a short torso and long arms, she doesn't need a WSD bike. But she does need to be satisfied with geometry - there is a big different from a mountain bike, comfort style bike and a classic road bike. Which one will she feel comfortable on and keep riding with? Test riding bikes is only good if you are going to buy that specific bike as different brands and models fit differently. I am 5'8" and ride anything from a 51 " (my Lemond) to a 55" (the Landshark).
Again best bet - buy some good wheels for the MTBike and put on slicks...
we're going to go the route of buying her a road bike. she did express the want to actually spend time with me, but she is also trying to get more fit as well as commute to work (22 miles round trip). she seems really excited. we went to the shops and stuff yesterday and she rode what she could and is excited to actually get a rental for an extended evaluation.
ill.clyde
07-27-11, 09:52 AM
The mountain bike that I want was on sale for $599.
We're looking at various models and we're going to get her to test ride some more bikes. Yesterday she test road a Trek 1.2 alpha (men's) 54cm because the other shop didn't have anything in her size and she said it felt great.
the 1.2 is a great bike ... it's what I ride :D
antimike
07-27-11, 09:53 AM
I second the recommendation for WSD. We really do have different proportions.
I'd be inclined to put the ball in her court -- let her go to bike shops and test-ride and talk to the staff. Make sure she's choosing what she wants, because it's easy for the more enthusiastic/experienced partner to steamroll the other, and then the whole thing becomes enthusiastic partner's project and other partner feels left-out and resentful and doesn't wany to play any more.
I've been trying to let her do her thing in the shops. she seems a little timid at first, but the people at the local shops are really nice and pretty knowledgeable as well. I let her do the talking and the walking and testing, I just kind of sit back and scope out bikes for me at the same time :).
I don't want her to be a project because it is something that she expressed to me. I am down for her using the bike to get fit as well as spend some time with me. I was looking at a tandem, but it is cost prohibitive at the moment, but maybe in the future.
antimike
07-27-11, 09:55 AM
+1 that is why we have the T50. In addition, my wife has balance issues, and cannot ride solo, but she wants to spend time with me.
You can find good used tandems in your budget. The first generation Trek tandems (T50, T100, T200) all used the same frame (most important part of a tandem). The are very rigid, the stoker is not cramped; and came with nice sealed bearing wheels. And they are fast on the level. :)
That may be an option, but we will have to look. It will be a bit before a tandem is on the budget. I was going to get my bike this month and hers next just on how our pay cycles work, but it will happen in reverse, her bike first and my bike second.
Bethany
07-27-11, 10:25 AM
The most important part is to have fun and I do agree with letting her find her own bike. My DH was feeling very left out and bought a Townie. He loves it, but it wasn't meant for keeping up with a street bike. While we were in a LBS he came to me and said he wanted a faster bike as he felt he was holding me back. He can't ride the street bikes as they are uncomfortable and he found a Trek Navigator 3.0.
To my surprise, last week he came to me and said he wanted a MTB to ride with me. He said he's always wanted one but they aren't comfortable at 42. We went back to the LBS and he found a dual suspension MTB. As we were out riding, he shot past me, went down the gravel hill at full speed leaving me in the dust. He stopped with a huge grin on his face and I knew that he'd finally found "his" bike.
Take your time and try out different styles of bikes. She might find something totally different than she was expecting to pick out.
Pamestique
07-27-11, 10:45 AM
Going to have to also disagree with Pam. MTB is quite a bit more upright. That's more wind resistance. I have to try very hard not to drop my wife on her Trek Navigator; it fits her well, but she's upright and might as well be wearing a parachute. She notices it, too, and I think it's a bit awkward and contributes to us going on fewer rides. .
Please don't anyone get me wrong... I am all for getting a nice bike if someone is committed to riding! I know MTBikes are heavier and clunkier than road bikes. I own several of each.
But - always being the practical minded person, and knowing these things... I can't suggest somone spent $700 on a bike when the person who is going to ride it is not yet committed to the sport and doesn't really know what style, size, type of bike she wants and needs. Better to get her in shape first, out riding on the bike she already has but with road slicks, and then later buy a road bike, or not.
I get she wants to ride to spend time with her husband. What he should so is get out on his MTB bike as well and they both just ride around a park or to the local coffee shop and enjoy each other's company. But that's just my woman's viewpoint!
But antimike I can see you are excited about getting her on a road bike so good luck. I hope she falls in love with it.
Please don't anyone get me wrong... I am all for getting a nice bike if someone is committed to riding! I know MTBikes are heavier and clunkier than road bikes. I own several of each.
But - always being the practical minded person, and knowing these things... I can't suggest somone spent $700 on a bike when the person who is going to ride it is not yet committed to the sport and doesn't really know what style, size, type of bike she wants and needs. Better to get her in shape first, out riding on the bike she already has but with road slicks, and then later buy a road bike, or not.
I get she wants to ride to spend time with her husband. What he should so is get out on his MTB bike as well and they both just ride around a park or to the local coffee shop and enjoy each other's company. But that's just my woman's viewpoint!
But antimike I can see you are excited about getting her on a road bike so good luck. I hope she falls in love with it.
I guess I am echoing what has been said before--be sure you know the problem before you try to solve it. If she doesn't want to become a serious roadie, don't get her a serious road bike. If she is wanting to commute, get something that fits that bill.
I am speaking from experience. I tend to get MOST of what my wife is saying, assume I totally understand, then go off in search of a solution. That frequently ends up in me solving the wrong problem.
As men, I think we are generally wired so that we want to come to the rescue of our fair maiden. We will bend over backward to "fix it" for her. I think in our exuberance to make them happy we don't wait to get the full scope of the project.
As for the tandem: We (meaning "I") had the same issue. I want to go hard/fast, she wants to go for a ride together. Whenever we ride together I am constantly needing to slow down for her. I solved the "problem" by talking us into a tandem. With her strapped down right behind me we could go as fast as we (again, "I") want. Guess what--it doesn't get ridden. She doesn't want to go as hard as I do. I want to spin it up and she wants to cruise. She can't look ahead because all she can see is my back--not so much good scenery. I had a great solution but the wrong problem.
Just be sure you are REALLY LISTENING to what she is saying before you jump in to save her.
Pamestique
07-27-11, 11:35 AM
Just be sure you are REALLY LISTENING to what she is saying before you jump in to save her.
Actually you are my hero! A man that gets it!
Just a word on tandems... I have ridden them for years. An ex roommate wanted to get his then fiance on a bike and thought - TANDEM! So he invested in a nice use tandem. I tried to explain to him tandem riding requires some skill, patience and TRUST! I see them out on the driveway. She gets on and is perched on the seat feet up. He tried to mount and WHAM! Bike falls over - hard! She was hurt pretty bad. The bike sat in the garage for a year as she refused to try it again. He eventually sold it.
Again...right now she just needs to ride and get commited to the sport and then worry about a bike...
chasm54
07-27-11, 02:14 PM
I can see where you are coming from, Pamestique. Most of us males are too keen to provide a solution to consider the possibility that we don't understand the problem.
One of my more regular riding buddies is a woman, about my age, 5ft 7 ins. She has a Trek 1.2 WSD. She find the women-specific features helpful, not because of her height but for reach and the way the brakes etc. fit her hands. Ironically, though, her problem is the opposite of what we are talking about here. She is a faster rider than her husband, and he doesn't like going out with her when she's on her road bike because he feels (rightly) that he's holding her back. So more often than not she takes her hybrid when they go out together, and the Trek only gets used when she's allowed(!) out on her own to play with me and the other guys. Her husband (who's a friend of mine, btw) isn't too keen on that being too frequent. I can't understand why...
JusticeZero
07-27-11, 02:57 PM
Right.
Get a bike that she can ride with you when you're at speed, not just something that you can 'slow down and stay with her'. You don't have to get a serious full carbon lighter than the reflection of the moon road bike, but if she wants to be on the road with you, get her the bike with the aero position so she can be doing the same thing as you are doing. Pushing a mountain bike down the road next to someone on a road bike who's graciously letting you stay with them isn't riding with them, it's riding adjacent to them subject to their mercy.
Pamestique
07-27-11, 04:25 PM
... Pushing a mountain bike down the road next to someone on a road bike who's graciously letting you stay with them isn't riding with them, it's riding adjacent to them subject to their mercy.
You just made my point!
Just an FYI I lead "newbie" rides, both road and mountain. One thing I have learned in order to get people enthused about the sport the last thing I should do is get on my custom road bike and zip away leaving the new rider to figure out where I've gone. :speedy:
When I lead newbie road rides, I show up on my MTB hardtail with knobby tires. Half of the group of newbies usually do as well and the other half is on comfort and old road bikes. I am in no hurry and will stay in the pack chatting with the riders and just enjoy getting to know new people. I don't make them feel in any way like they are holding me back from my ride. If they ask I say "I have having a blast! This is great exercise!"
I have a good friend, a very strong, hard core rider I know goes out on long, torturous rides with other groups. I know she can ride my butt off but when we ride together (and she must like riding with me otherwise why would she?) she never displays attitude "hurry what! Can't you go faster???". I've ridden with girlfriends and their husbands long enough to know even when a man doesn't mean to he can and will often say something that's hurtful for instance, a friend's husband told my friend to draft behind so she could go faster. I know he meant it in that I will help you and make it easier. All she heard was "YOU ARE SLOW!!!!" The ride with the two of them got very unpleasant and they started fussing.
Anyway, I said my piece and am beating that dead horse at this point. :deadhorse: Hopefully everything will sort itself out.
ill.clyde
07-27-11, 04:35 PM
My personal experience ...
My late fiancee had an old MTB when we started dating, and she enjoyed riding with me, though my bike was newer (wouldn't be at this moment though!), and I was a stronger rider. She rode with me, tried to keep up, didn't get deterred. A little time passes and I surprised her for her birthday with a new MTB. Nothing too terribly expensive, but it was a NEW bike, and it got her on a more level "playing field" so to speak. So she rode more, and we even tackled some easy single track up in Wisconsin.
The more she rode, the more we talked about getting a couple of roadies. I finally got an insurance settlement check that I'd been waiting on and we were able to both get new roadies (she got a 2010 model, I got 2009 model with slightly better specs). After we got them we did ride a few times together before she passed, but she loved the bike. It was HERS and she was very proud of it and we had big plans to ride a lot together. There are many days where I wish I could see where she would be at were she still here and riding with me the past year and a half.
It's a roundabout way of saying, listen fast, and act slow. Talk to her, listen to what she wants and don't dismiss it out of hand. Pam has offered some fantastic advice in this thread, and I agree with a lot of it. If she's already riding her MTB with you, she'll be more likely to ride her roadie. Likewise, if she "LOVES" her new bike she's more likely to ride it ... so don't discount the importance of finding a NICE bike without breaking your budget. And DON'T skimp on the accessories. Things like a helmet, a saddle bag, a patch kit, CO2 pump and tire levers. If you WANT her to be a cyclist with you, you need to help her FEEL like a cyclist, or at least give her the absolute best opportunity for becoming a cyclist on her own. I'm convinced that were it not for my fiancee getting the bike she wanted, in the color she wanted, etc, she wouldn't have ridden as much as she did.
Ride WITH her, but also make sure she understands that when you're out riding on your own or with others, you're doing so because YOU need your workout time and encourage her to ride solo too. Find a local cycling club you both can belong to. You'll find people of all levels of ability and that way she won't have to ride alone if she has fears or safety concerns.
It's about balance. The best part about cycling is sharing it with others. You've stumbled on a FANTASTIC opportunity to share cycling with your wife. What a great way to spend your future years together. Looking forward to hearing all about it!
trumptman
07-30-11, 03:42 PM
You just made my point!
Just an FYI I lead "newbie" rides, both road and mountain. One thing I have learned in order to get people enthused about the sport the last thing I should do is get on my custom road bike and zip away leaving the new rider to figure out where I've gone. :speedy:
When I lead newbie road rides, I show up on my MTB hardtail with knobby tires. Half of the group of newbies usually do as well and the other half is on comfort and old road bikes. I am in no hurry and will stay in the pack chatting with the riders and just enjoy getting to know new people. I don't make them feel in any way like they are holding me back from my ride. If they ask I say "I have having a blast! This is great exercise!"
I have a good friend, a very strong, hard core rider I know goes out on long, torturous rides with other groups. I know she can ride my butt off but when we ride together (and she must like riding with me otherwise why would she?) she never displays attitude "hurry what! Can't you go faster???". I've ridden with girlfriends and their husbands long enough to know even when a man doesn't mean to he can and will often say something that's hurtful for instance, a friend's husband told my friend to draft behind so she could go faster. I know he meant it in that I will help you and make it easier. All she heard was "YOU ARE SLOW!!!!" The ride with the two of them got very unpleasant and they started fussing.
Anyway, I said my piece and am beating that dead horse at this point. :deadhorse: Hopefully everything will sort itself out.
I can absolutely see where you are coming from Pam because I've been helping both my wife, my sons and my friends all get into biking recently. We've found several beginning rides and their concern was hardly ever with their own bikes. Their concerns were much more about how they didn't have all the same clothes, how they were out of shape, and this internal dialog about how everyone was going to be judging them or hating on them because of what they could or could not do.
Also this all started exactly like the premise of this thread. I had gotten back into bicycling, had ridden a few centuries, made lots of new friends and had it taking several hours out of week and weekend.
I did exactly what you've noted and it has worked great. I dressed completely down, gym shorts, t-shirt and my 1980 Univega Vivasport 12 speed beast to go along on the rides. As we went along she started picking small things here and there that she wanted and felt comfortable using. A bike bag or two appeared, she declared she wanted one of my seats that looked comfortable to her and a rack on the back. I tried talking her into skinnier tires but she was scared of flats and falling. After several weeks of feeling very comfortable on her bike and with the rides, she finally relented on the tires and to make her comfortable I went and put a pair on my mountain bike as well. (Even two sets of them from Performance were cheaper than buying the wrong bike or having someone be uncomfortable and go back to sitting on the couch complaining.) We showed up at the ride with two mountain bikes with skinny tires. (My full Ultegra aluminum and carbon road bike crying in the garage for now.)
She was absolutely thrilled with the tires to such a degree that we went back the following weekend and she bought herself some cycling shoes and pedals. (Admittedly the pedals can be used clipped or unclipped.) We even had her take down and stand over some road bikes. My friend's wife was right beside her having grabbed the same brand and size of tires wanting them for her own mountain bike.
My wife is spending time with me (obviously the root of what is wanted) but at the same time building confidence and overcoming her fears while educating herself as to what she wants in the future. Telling her she's wrong on certain matters won't make her feel any better nor does me dictating her progress or what she should know. She declared she wanted to the clips and pedals to use more muscles. I could tell her she rides too upright and that better geometry might make her faster but she is comfortable upright for now. Heck I could barely get her to put her seat higher because it made her more scared about her bike feeling unstable. Now we put the seat up a bit more each week. We've gone on rides of up to 25 miles.
Soon we will have the discussion about why on 30+ mile rides our hands become numb, etc. We will discuss handle bars and hand positions, geometry, etc. She will have heard people around her that she is no longer scared of judging her mentioned these items off hand for months when discussing their own bikes. She will have eyeballed several bikes and asked about items on my bikes. Then we can go get her the next step and hopefully it will be great for her!
Here's her current set up and some interesting observations related to it.
212699
1. She has bought herself some clothes so she feels more like a cyclist.
2. She had to have schrader valve tubes on her bike because she was afraid no one would have a pump for her tires if she got a flat. (Yes I carry a pump but I might not be around)
3. The rack on her bike has never been used and she doesn't care if it makes the bike heavier. (But it might be used some day!)
antimike
07-30-11, 06:52 PM
My personal experience ...
My late fiancee had an old MTB when we started dating, and she enjoyed riding with me, though my bike was newer (wouldn't be at this moment though!), and I was a stronger rider. She rode with me, tried to keep up, didn't get deterred. A little time passes and I surprised her for her birthday with a new MTB. Nothing too terribly expensive, but it was a NEW bike, and it got her on a more level "playing field" so to speak. So she rode more, and we even tackled some easy single track up in Wisconsin.
The more she rode, the more we talked about getting a couple of roadies. I finally got an insurance settlement check that I'd been waiting on and we were able to both get new roadies (she got a 2010 model, I got 2009 model with slightly better specs). After we got them we did ride a few times together before she passed, but she loved the bike. It was HERS and she was very proud of it and we had big plans to ride a lot together. There are many days where I wish I could see where she would be at were she still here and riding with me the past year and a half.
It's a roundabout way of saying, listen fast, and act slow. Talk to her, listen to what she wants and don't dismiss it out of hand. Pam has offered some fantastic advice in this thread, and I agree with a lot of it. If she's already riding her MTB with you, she'll be more likely to ride her roadie. Likewise, if she "LOVES" her new bike she's more likely to ride it ... so don't discount the importance of finding a NICE bike without breaking your budget. And DON'T skimp on the accessories. Things like a helmet, a saddle bag, a patch kit, CO2 pump and tire levers. If you WANT her to be a cyclist with you, you need to help her FEEL like a cyclist, or at least give her the absolute best opportunity for becoming a cyclist on her own. I'm convinced that were it not for my fiancee getting the bike she wanted, in the color she wanted, etc, she wouldn't have ridden as much as she did.
Ride WITH her, but also make sure she understands that when you're out riding on your own or with others, you're doing so because YOU need your workout time and encourage her to ride solo too. Find a local cycling club you both can belong to. You'll find people of all levels of ability and that way she won't have to ride alone if she has fears or safety concerns.
It's about balance. The best part about cycling is sharing it with others. You've stumbled on a FANTASTIC opportunity to share cycling with your wife. What a great way to spend your future years together. Looking forward to hearing all about it!
First off I want to say that I'm sorry for your loss, and it saddens me that you had to go through such an ordeal.
Thank you for the advice, and we've taken steps in the right direction, I believe, that have and will make cycling a good activity for my wife as well as an activity that we can share.
We purchased her a bike, which is an entry level Scattante W-330 women's road bike. We got a pretty good deal because I already had some points and then they took off $100 as well. WShe told me that she wants to ride clipless, and I actually bought her shoes today that she had tried on before and they actually fit (long skinny feet).
She is owning this whole process. She actually picked out her bike, test rode it, and seems genuinely satisfied with the results. She said that she is excited about it as well. I hope that she puts as many miles in as I have.
antimike
08-11-11, 08:28 AM
Alright. The wife LOVES her new bike. She rides pretty much every day and has put on about 64 miles since she received her bike less than 7 days ago. I'm really proud of her and I ride with her when I get the chance. She is trying to get her endurance up so she can come on group rides with me and people from the local cycling community. I hope she gets to it because it is always good to have someone that you love to do something that you love with.
As an update about clipless, she ended up getting crank brothers candy pedals and she likes them a lot, but she did what we all do and fell. Her seat bag came loose and squeezed her breaks and ploop...fell over to the side. She is fine but she's a little bummed that her break lever got scuffed a bit. She was actually ANGRY at her bag and refuses to use it at this point. We'll get her a better one or try to return that one because it seems a little unsafe. It has a bungee system accompanied by a single strap that goes onto the rails of the saddle. Very weird and confusing (Louis Gearneau) instructions...or lack of instructions.
We made the right decision to get her a road bike, and I am impressed her drive and persistence.
Pamestique
08-11-11, 09:34 AM
1. She has bought herself some clothes so she feels more like a cyclist.
)
Trumptman... turn your wife onto Terrybicycles.com. They carry a very nice line of Plus size cycling wear for women. They make great shorts (I love their T-Short) and jerseys in different styles. Unfortunately its the end of the season and there is little inventory left but generally in late fall they come out with all the new stuff. Once she realizes how good looking she can be while riding, she will get really hooked!
I love your patience and understanding. Many new riders are just afraid and lack confidence but little by little, once their skills and confidence improves, they want to upgrade and move on. But if nothing else, you guys have sent quality time together... bless you!
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