Bikeforums.net is a forum about nothing but bikes. Our community can help you find information about hard-to-find and localized information like bicycle tours, specialties like where in your area to have your recumbent bike serviced, or what are the best bicycle tires and seats for the activities you use your bike for.RichardGlover
09-08-11, 10:14 AM
A Surly Crosscheck dies and goes to Bike Heaven, where's he's met at the Celeste Gates by the spirit of Eddy Merckx's first bicycle.
"You've lived a good life, and you are quite welcome here. We welcome bicycles of all types, and most of them tend to spend time with others that are like them."
"Well", said the Crosscheck, "technically I'm a Cyclocross bike, but my keeper used me for all sorts of things - commuting, long-distance cycling, club rides, off-roading. I was his 'one bike for everything' bike, and I'm just not sure where I'd fit in."
"No problem", replied Bike Spirit. "Why don't we take a tour, visit different groups, and then you can decide."
"Sounds great", said the Crosscheck.
The Bike Spirit first takes CC to a large, muddy field, where two teams of bikes are playing rugby. "These are the Cyclocross and mountain bikes; the BMX bikes are refereeing. They really love getting in the mud and playing rough. When they're not here, you can usually find them in the countryside camping out or mountain climbing."
"Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun", CC replied, "and it reminds me of the two seasons of CX I did, but I'm curious to see what else there is."
The bike spirit took CC to another field, where a leisurely cricket match was going on. "Here you'll find the ultra-endurance, long-distance, and randonneuring bicycles. They used to play baseball, but found the games were too short, so they switched to Test Cricket; this match is in it's fourth day. When they're not playing, they mostly sleep, eat, and train for the next game."
"Wow, those guys are certainly dedicated. I've done several charity rides, but I don't think I'm quite in their league. What else is there?"
Bike Spirit then took CC to a concrete playground, where bikes were playing several different games of basketball. "This group is pretty diverse. We have single speed, fixies, hybrids, commuters, and a smattering of cargo style bikes. They typically play pickup games. They love life in the concrete jungle, and spend much of their time either here or going back and forth between coffee shops and bookstores."
"Well, I can certainly understand that", remarked CC. "I hopped quite a few curbs in my time as a messenger bike, but let's see what else is here."
The bike spirit took CC to a community center. Inside, there were bikes of all different sizes sitting at tables playing cards & family board games. There were some hybrid bikes, children's bmx-style bikes, and it seemed there were quite a few low-end mountain bikes that probably started their lives in a big box retail store. "These are the spirits of bikes that spent most of their lives riding in their neighborhoods with family and friends. They spend much of their time here playing games with one another, then ride back to the nearby suburbs on multi-use paths built just for that purpose."
"That seems like it'd be fun for a while. I remember pulling a trailer with my keeper's kid in it a few times, but I'm not sure it's for me."
The bike spirit then took CC down the street to another neighborhood. As they were approaching an empty parking lot, CC could see a crowd of carbon framed road bikes standing around near a banner that read '5/10/25k Charity Run'. "These are the road bikes. They spend much of their time doing organized runs in large packs. When they're not running, they spend their time shining their running shoes and shopping for lighter weight shoelaces."
Just then, thunder sounded in the sky, and it started raining. The road bikes scrambled for cover, variously complaining that their socks were going to get wet or that it was going to be too dark to safely run.
CC was a bit surprised. He stood up and started yelling "C'mon guys, it's just a bit of rain! It won't hurt you!"
The Bike Spirit yanked CC down behind a tree, and told him, "Hush! You have to be completely quiet around the road bikes. You see, they think they're the only ones here!"
"You've lived a good life, and you are quite welcome here. We welcome bicycles of all types, and most of them tend to spend time with others that are like them."
"Well", said the Crosscheck, "technically I'm a Cyclocross bike, but my keeper used me for all sorts of things - commuting, long-distance cycling, club rides, off-roading. I was his 'one bike for everything' bike, and I'm just not sure where I'd fit in."
"No problem", replied Bike Spirit. "Why don't we take a tour, visit different groups, and then you can decide."
"Sounds great", said the Crosscheck.
The Bike Spirit first takes CC to a large, muddy field, where two teams of bikes are playing rugby. "These are the Cyclocross and mountain bikes; the BMX bikes are refereeing. They really love getting in the mud and playing rough. When they're not here, you can usually find them in the countryside camping out or mountain climbing."
"Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun", CC replied, "and it reminds me of the two seasons of CX I did, but I'm curious to see what else there is."
The bike spirit took CC to another field, where a leisurely cricket match was going on. "Here you'll find the ultra-endurance, long-distance, and randonneuring bicycles. They used to play baseball, but found the games were too short, so they switched to Test Cricket; this match is in it's fourth day. When they're not playing, they mostly sleep, eat, and train for the next game."
"Wow, those guys are certainly dedicated. I've done several charity rides, but I don't think I'm quite in their league. What else is there?"
Bike Spirit then took CC to a concrete playground, where bikes were playing several different games of basketball. "This group is pretty diverse. We have single speed, fixies, hybrids, commuters, and a smattering of cargo style bikes. They typically play pickup games. They love life in the concrete jungle, and spend much of their time either here or going back and forth between coffee shops and bookstores."
"Well, I can certainly understand that", remarked CC. "I hopped quite a few curbs in my time as a messenger bike, but let's see what else is here."
The bike spirit took CC to a community center. Inside, there were bikes of all different sizes sitting at tables playing cards & family board games. There were some hybrid bikes, children's bmx-style bikes, and it seemed there were quite a few low-end mountain bikes that probably started their lives in a big box retail store. "These are the spirits of bikes that spent most of their lives riding in their neighborhoods with family and friends. They spend much of their time here playing games with one another, then ride back to the nearby suburbs on multi-use paths built just for that purpose."
"That seems like it'd be fun for a while. I remember pulling a trailer with my keeper's kid in it a few times, but I'm not sure it's for me."
The bike spirit then took CC down the street to another neighborhood. As they were approaching an empty parking lot, CC could see a crowd of carbon framed road bikes standing around near a banner that read '5/10/25k Charity Run'. "These are the road bikes. They spend much of their time doing organized runs in large packs. When they're not running, they spend their time shining their running shoes and shopping for lighter weight shoelaces."
Just then, thunder sounded in the sky, and it started raining. The road bikes scrambled for cover, variously complaining that their socks were going to get wet or that it was going to be too dark to safely run.
CC was a bit surprised. He stood up and started yelling "C'mon guys, it's just a bit of rain! It won't hurt you!"
The Bike Spirit yanked CC down behind a tree, and told him, "Hush! You have to be completely quiet around the road bikes. You see, they think they're the only ones here!"