Foo - Rules of Thumb

I enjoy Rules Of Thumb - little homilies that help us remember how to do things, what things mean and just how to get through life easier.

There was a book out on them at one time, I've never read it, but I suspect I'd have enjoyed it.

Anyway, I'll start it up with a couple and see where it goes. If they are not totally obvious, clue us in on what they might refer to... Remember, they got to be true.

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Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty (which way to turn the wrench or screwdriver on normal threaded screws and bolts)

A small tap with a big hammer is better than a big tap with a small hammer.

If you drink your coffee black, you can always get it the way you want it.

Measure twice - cut once.

Pedals tighten toward the front of the bike, bottom brackets toward the rear.

Don't pound the pink nails.

Less is more.
http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129206510013504354.jpg

The more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you will live.

Never attempt to hike the AT three times.

Wear pants while out in public. Trust me.

Couch

Never get involved in a land war in Asia

Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

(I love that movie)

Never attempt to hike the AT three times.

too soon, too soon







(no not really)

Thumbs rule!
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/03/02/funny-pictures-videos-cats-with-thumbs/

When all is said and done, more has been said than done.

learned from Clerks 2:

you never go:

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_284/12148499711zYfQ8.jpg

Do not chew your fingernails when working on septic.

It is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.

My thumbs don't follow rules. Some say that they're rebels. I say they're just opposable.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.

The first rule of thumb is that you don't talk about thumb.

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

When in doubt, loosen it out. (wheel truing)

Bearing adjustments, wheel truing, brake systems, drivetrain (typical order of progression for a tune-up, due to fundamental dependencies)

Logic and reason will never trump The Way Things Have Always Been Done™.

It will always take longer to "just finish up" a wheel laced by a customer than to build it from scratch.

I had a whole bunch of rules of thumb when I was working but gave them up when I retired, Except " Any day you wake up is a good day!"

Another keeper: Never assume malice for anything that can be explained by stupidity.

If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck...it's probably a duck.

Another keeper: Never assume malice for anything that can be explained by stupidity.

I've never heard this one, but I'm going to commit to memory.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it was probably already cracked.

Never eat at a place called Mom's.

Never play cards with a man named Doc.

Never sleep with someone whose problems are worse than yours.

Never eat anything bigger than your head.

Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind.
Don't pull on the mask of that old Lone Ranger.
And don't mess around with Jim

Shut the hell up or I'll slap ya to sleep then I'll slap ya for sleepin'.



Wfin's mom 1932-2008

My dad told me (several times) that you should always pour a little of the moonshine onto the lid of the mason jar and light it before you drink any. If the flames are green it'll kill you. Also, if the worm floats, stay away from the tequila.

If you keep doing that, you'll go blind.

Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning.

Leaves of three, let it be.

Never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

Never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

Oooo, good one.

Chemistry: do as you oughta, add acid to wattah (as opposed to adding water to acid)

Backing a car out of a parking spot: never back up farther than you have to

Food safety: when in doubt, throw it out

beer before liquor never been sicker, liquor before beer, you're in the clear?

If someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes."

Show me someone who isn't doing anything wrong; and I'll show you someone isn't doing anything.

They can always hurt you more.

Reactor power follows steam demand.

Children playing quietly are generally up to something.

Children playing quietly are generally up to something.

oh don't say that. please don't say that. our daughter has just started getting to the stage where she'll entertain herself in her crib for short periods if we put her down for a nap and she's really not tired, but we don't want her to get too far off her pattern. i'd hate to think what she's plotting.

down not across

If it's stuck and should move, spray it with WD40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.

cut away from your body (something I rarely remember to do).

The best test of an idea is to see if it lasts through the hangover.

Two rules of life are always true
These two shall never bend:
Never whittle towards yourself
Or pee into the wind

Two rules of life are always true
These two shall never bend:
Never whittle towards yourself
Or pee into the wind

Stated by someone lacking skills and hydraulic power.

Children playing quietly are generally up to something.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity_Grammar_School_(New_South_Wales)#Controversies

Third paragraph. Every boarding house teacher I knew freaked (and thanked God that it didn't happen at their school). I do like how it is a rather sterile "implement" in the Wiki article.

http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/stories/s243511.htm

No mater how fast you are, there's always someone faster.

My dad told me (several times) that you should always pour a little of the moonshine onto the lid of the mason jar and light it before you drink any. If the flames are green it'll kill you. Also, if the worm floats, stay away from the tequila.

Words of wisdom there, I'll commit those to memory. One an old co-worker taught me was, "What one won't do for you, another will." This can be applied to people you are trying to date, ways to get something done or just about anything.

Every pitcher of blessing contains a shotglass of curse, and vice-versa.

Never venture into a corn maze without a cell phone.

Never do it without the fez on.

If you fart when no one is around, you have no one to blame it on.

Cat in the house, do put toilet paper on with roll "pull" toward the wall AND TIGHT - no hanging spare square at all.

signed,

Ming's owner - who is sometimes less 3 new rolls a week, depending on if it's Ming's fascination that week. grrrr


and what makes a week most special? Coming home to the last roll unraveled on the bathroom floor, bite marks and shreds and all - ---- and you have go to the bathroom and oh yeah, Ming is sooooo happy to see me home that she is just browsing my legs and still playing with the shreds of the TP that I am contemplating using.

yeah, good times. :D