"The 33"-Road Bike Racing - Program Suggestions for OLN

I posted something like this in the middle of another thread (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=73532&page=2), but I thought a new thread would let us give OLN some ideas for expanding its meager Lance Armstrong coverage:

-Re-live Lance Armstrong's First TDF victory
-Re-live Lance Armstrong's Second TDF victory
-Re-live Lance Armstrong's Third TDF victory
-Re-live Lance Armstrong's Fourth TDF victory
-Re-live Lance Armstrong's Fifth TDF victory
-Re-live Lance Armstrong's Sixth TDF victory (1 hour special)
-Lance Armstrong, "God" or merely "a god."
-Lance Armstrong, He Survived Cancer, You Know
-Simeoni is a Big Fat Losing Whining Liar
-Lance Armstrong, He's Dating A Rock Star
-Lance Armstrong Discusses his Favorite Coffee
-Cycling races other than the TDF
-Lance Armstrong goes to the Bathroom
-Cyclists not named "Lance" (five minute interlude)

- Does Lance Armstrong's bike dope?
- Live coverage of Lance putting the cat outside.
- Relive the third anniversary of the first anniversary of Lance's first TDF victory.
- Lance Armstrong: Giro de what?
- Relive Lance and Cheryl's first date.
- Two hour special report: Did Jan wait?

You're pressing your luck. Lance is like the Pope around here. Beware! Be Aware!

-All Lance, All the time... 24 hours dedicated to the man, the myth, the legend (whoops, they already do that in July, don't they? :-/ ).
-Lance vs. Greg. In a reinactment of the movie "Over the Top", instead of a truck driver father earning the approval of a military school child, it will be a 3 time Tour de France, 80's old school winner winning the approval of a 6 time, Tour de France, 21st century rider. Together, they will travel the country in search of arm wrestling events in a quest for love and acceptance
-Cutters follow Lance on the road 25/7, with much antics similar to the Tour, except they will follow him into the restaurants (what does Lance eat?), to the bathroom (what does Lance do when he pees?), to the underwear store (boxers or briefs?), and anywhere else he goes. There won't be a stone left unturned, and not a secret left unexposed.

Koffee

Lance's Laundry Special

Pimp Lance's Bike!

I'd like to see an episode of Trading Spaces with Armstrong and Simeoni. Lance's place gets a nice Italian Villa makeover and Lance burns down Simeoni's house.

Pro Bull Riding (PBR): The Lance Edition.
The show where Lance ditches that bike for a real Texas ride, A pissed off bull.

OLN shouldn’t have a hard time integrating this into the non-stop coverage of bull riding they already have.

Pimp Lance's Bike!

No need his bike is already pimped out!

Hahhah...

Lance:should we clone him?A discovery channel science special.

All Lance, All The Time...until he crosses the finish line.

I'd like to see an episode of Trading Spaces with Armstrong and Simeoni. Lance's place gets a nice Italian Villa makeover and Lance burns down Simeoni's house.
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

How about Lance fishing, bow hunting, gun hunting, ATVing, and RVing. Maybe now with the Discovery Channel we can get like 240 hours a day coverage of Lance since they own like 10 channels.

Closed circuit footage of the French Ministry of Culture (http://web.culture.fr/) trying and executing "The Cutters" for crimes against humanity. :D

No need his bike is already pimped out!
A disk wheel with no spinners is no wheel at all.

I'd like to see an episode of Trading Spaces with Armstrong and Simeoni. Lance's place gets a nice Italian Villa makeover and Lance burns down Simeoni's house.

:roflmao:


I cannot think of any ideas at this time :(

The typical American TV viewer doesn't know Igor Astarloa from Ivan Basso. Gilberto Simoni from Filippo Simeoni.
They'd rather flip a channel to watch race cars go in circles, prescripted wrestling matches, and dysfunctional families doing home improvement!

Its strictly a matter of economics. If the Vuelta or Giro would get viewer ratings, they'd show it. OLN tried last year and it failed miserably for them. So they could NOT afford to do it this year. Heck, I'd be glued to the TV if they showed Paris-Roubaix or Tour of Britain. I'd wear out my Tivo if they replayed famous races of the past or did A&E style documentaries on the legends of cycling. Unfortunately, programmers and advertiser know what people watch. They won't watch cycling unless Lance is in it.

My hope is that Lance's notoriety will bring an increase in the general publics awareness of pro cycling. Similar to the way Phil Anderson brought commercialism, TV advertising, and sponsorships to the pro peloton. Then maybe advertisers will line up for the Circuit De La Sarthe or Dauphine Libre.

Until then, we're stuck with two bimbos driving across America.

Squeegy: Did you reply in the wrong thread?

They won't watch cycling unless Lance is in it.


I'm not sure if the popularity of other races is all that grand in Europe, either. (besides the large regional fanbases to particular races)
I hear the ASO only sees profit from Paris-Roubaix and the Tour de France. And they organize over a dozen pro races.

Remember half the reason people watch auto racing is the crashes. Sure there are bike crashes but as my brother said you feel a lot worse watching them cause you know it hurts.

You know, if they would just let the cyclists do one episode of WWF Smackdown, they'd gain a whole new fan base! :D

Koffee

Hahaha... good idea. Start integrating other cyclists into popular shows:

Gilberto Simoni appears as Grace's italian hearthrob on Will and Grace.

Santiago BOtero appears as a columbian crime boss in LAW AND ORDER.

Floyd Landis appears on PUNKD.

Just nothing on CBS. Can anyone imagine Cipo on "Joan of Arcadia"?

Uuuugh.

Koffee

Now that Phonak is banned for doping, I guess they could do "Survivor".