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11-08-11, 04:36 PM
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
7. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
8. Your junior prom had a daycare.
9. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
11. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
12. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
13. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
14. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
15. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
16. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
17. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
18. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
19. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
20. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
21. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
22. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
7. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
8. Your junior prom had a daycare.
9. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
11. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
12. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
13. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
14. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
15. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
16. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
17. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
18. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
19. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
20. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
21. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
22. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.