Jokes & Humor - Stupidest Criminal...

Nothing is funnier than a stupid criminal, right?

There was a case where a burglar fell asleep on the bed, in the house,
with the couple whose house he was robbing. It sounds crazy, but it's a
true story. The folks at The Smoking Gun are having a funny award for
this year's "Stupidest Criminal", so I thought to start a thread here
to see if there were any good stories out there that we can submit to
their editors (long-shot but hey, you never know!!) In case you want to
check it out the show (it's called The Smoking Gun Year End Special),
it's going to air thisThursday night, I believe at 10pm. These guys
can be pretty hilarious so it's worth taping in case you aren't going
to be home.

Matt

What channel?

On the Tonight show, Jay Leno spoke about some idiot who tried to hold up a gun store at knifepoint. Needless to say the criminal was made to look like swiss cheese.

G'Day Matt81, Mate this is a true story, about four years ago, my wife and I built a new home where we now live in Queensland, OZ. At the time we were both at work and while at our place of employ we were visited by two ferral people, we know it was two because of theboot marks they left on the garden. These two ripped us off to the tune of a Mower, Whipper Snipper, all my Electric tools and My Archery equipment, about $3000.

The police were informed and duly took statements and examined the shed, which was brand new, they advised me that these people would be back to get the new stuff the insurance company preplaces in about six weeks. I took steps to secure the shed, an all steel one of course, with extra eye bolts and chains across the main entry door, the roller door I secured by drilling and bolting the thing in the down position.

My son at the time had a Rottweiler which his wife did not trust with the Grandchildren, she was a bit paranoid about dogs after seeing a documentary on how they can change without notice So my son offered her to me, needless to say she's the best dog a man could have, believe me, faithful and very obedient,and worth every bit of money she costs to feed.

She had been at our home about four weeks when I came home from work one afternoon to find her guarding a rear pocket and surrounding material of a pair of denim jeans, it was obvious that it had been torn out of the back of a pair of jeans pants. After a bit of detective work I discovered this person had climbed the back fence because of the rather large footprint left in the soft earth just inside the fence where the garden vegetable patch is.

He couldn't have been very bright as right there was a couple of huge dog droppings, I mean huge, you can imagine what a Rotty does a couple of times a day. well he completely ignored them and went to the shed door and proceeded to try to lever the eye bolts off the door, he must have been carrying a very big screw driver to accomplish the task and in doing so he broke one of the eye bolts and the chain fell down and clanked accross the door. This in turn disturbed the dog who must have been resting or sleeping around the other side of the house. Hearing the noise she must have thought that I had arrived home and came around to investigate only to find the ferral person trying to get into the shed.

She must have barked as she is known to do, he saw the dog, **** himself, and ran for it. The only trouble is, he only got to the side fence before she latched onto his pants pocket, in the struggle of him trying to get over the fence, and the dog hanging on for grim death, he made some, what looked like, frantic boot marks up the side of the newly painted fence with the dog hanging on to his pocket. In the ensuing battle the pocket gave way and he made it over the fence.

The dog had a trophy she did not want to let go of so I let her keep it and she carried it around the yard for a couple of weeks until she got fed up with it. I reckon he must have told a few of his buddies about the trouble as they did not come back after that. Result Dog One, Ferral Person Nil. It pays to have a big dog in the yard? Unfortunatley she is now getting on in years and at eight years of age she will not be with us too many more years, which will be a sad loss of a good friend. Daotenac!

There was a case where a burglar fell asleep on the bed, in the house,
with the couple whose house he was robbing. Matt

I want to find out what kind of bed they had.

G'Day Matt81, Mate this is a true story, about four years ago, my wife and I built a new home where we now live in Queensland, OZ. At the time we were both at work and while at our place of employ we were visited by two ferral people, we know it was two because of theboot marks they left on the garden. These two ripped us off to the tune of a Mower, Whipper Snipper, all my Electric tools and My Archery equipment, about $3000.

The police were informed and duly took statements and examined the shed, which was brand new, they advised me that these people would be back to get the new stuff the insurance company preplaces in about six weeks. I took steps to secure the shed, an all steel one of course, with extra eye bolts and chains across the main entry door, the roller door I secured by drilling and bolting the thing in the down position.

My son at the time had a Rottweiler which his wife did not trust with the Grandchildren, she was a bit paranoid about dogs after seeing a documentary on how they can change without notice So my son offered her to me, needless to say she's the best dog a man could have, believe me, faithful and very obedient,and worth every bit of money she costs to feed.

She had been at our home about four weeks when I came home from work one afternoon to find her guarding a rear pocket and surrounding material of a pair of denim jeans, it was obvious that it had been torn out of the back of a pair of jeans pants. After a bit of detective work I discovered this person had climbed the back fence because of the rather large footprint left in the soft earth just inside the fence where the garden vegetable patch is.

He couldn't have been very bright as right there was a couple of huge dog droppings, I mean huge, you can imagine what a Rotty does a couple of times a day. well he completely ignored them and went to the shed door and proceeded to try to lever the eye bolts off the door, he must have been carrying a very big screw driver to accomplish the task and in doing so he broke one of the eye bolts and the chain fell down and clanked accross the door. This in turn disturbed the dog who must have been resting or sleeping around the other side of the house. Hearing the noise she must have thought that I had arrived home and came around to investigate only to find the ferral person trying to get into the shed.

She must have barked as she is known to do, he saw the dog, **** himself, and ran for it. The only trouble is, he only got to the side fence before she latched onto his pants pocket, in the struggle of him trying to get over the fence, and the dog hanging on for grim death, he made some, what looked like, frantic boot marks up the side of the newly painted fence with the dog hanging on to his pocket. In the ensuing battle the pocket gave way and he made it over the fence.

The dog had a trophy she did not want to let go of so I let her keep it and she carried it around the yard for a couple of weeks until she got fed up with it. I reckon he must have told a few of his buddies about the trouble as they did not come back after that. Result Dog One, Ferral Person Nil. It pays to have a big dog in the yard? Unfortunatley she is now getting on in years and at eight years of age she will not be with us too many more years, which will be a sad loss of a good friend. Daotenac!


dang you watch to much CSI