Foo - Divorce and lawyers

I just wrote a big fat retainer check for a divorce lawyer. Luckily, this is an uncontested divorce with no children. Paperwork should be ready in a week. Could be "un-married" less than two weeks after that. The (ex)wife will be happy if it's final before the end of the year.

Wow, what a range of emotions are attached to this mess, even though we weren't married long.

I just wrote a big fat retainer check for a divorce lawyer. Luckily, this is an uncontested divorce with no children. Paperwork should be ready in a week. Could be "un-married" less than two weeks after that. The (ex)wife will be happy if it's final before the end of the year.

Wow, what a range of emotions are attached to this mess, even though we weren't married long.

Congratulations? Sorry to hear it?
Not really sure where to go with this one. Sounds similar to mine a few years ago; uncontested, no kids, no property, just a simple paperwork filing and stand in front of a muni court judge to have it finalized. Between the paperwork filing and court fees I think I was out $200. The rest was covered under my group legal plan (ARAG) through where I worked.

I can only imagine. Thankfully I haven't experience that.



Hang in there.

Lawyers....the only real winners in most divorces.
Op...I wish you the best.



edit: side note...where's that MooCow fellow that was all up in the air about getting a diamond ring? He might benefit from this thread.

I used a paralegal/mediator for my divorce. It was uncontested and we had worked out all of the property split, so we just needed the paperwork done. I think she charged $600 for the whole thing.

Congratulations? Sorry to hear it?
I don't quite know how to feel either. We both wanted out of the marriage within a year, but took several months to admit it to each other. No real hard feelings between us, just rushed into a marriage.



I can only imagine. Thankfully I haven't experience that.

Hang in there.
I hope you never do. It's worse with a longer-term marriage, especially with kid(s). I was married to my first wife for 13 years, and we had a daughter.



Lawyers....the only real winners in most divorces.
Op...I wish you the best.



edit: side note...where's that MooCow fellow that was all up in the air about getting a diamond ring? He might benefit from this thread.
Thanks. Lawyers really like contested divorces. Two of them make a bunch more money.

I ignored most of that thread, but if a divorce gets ugly it'll be more expensive than the ring.



I used a paralegal/mediator for my divorce. It was uncontested and we had worked out all of the property split, so we just needed the paperwork done. I think she charged $600 for the whole thing.
That's mostly where we're at, but I decided to go with a lawyer. It's not *that* expensive for a divorce as simple as ours.

To further add....

We even picked up the papers to do it ourselves first. After reading them over, I decided to leave it to the professionals.

I used a paralegal, paid either $68 or $168, can't remember. Took one signature and a week to process and that was that.

I did win that one, honestly.

To further add....

We even picked up the papers to do it ourselves first. After reading them over, I decided to leave it to the professionals.

The most important thing is that you're comfortable with what's going on. I know people who will handle an uncontested divorce for $600 flat and others who charge $600 an hour. The key thing is their client has to be as at ease as possible with the process, it's stressful even under the best of circumstances.

Just some advice re divorce in general. It happened, get over it. Learn from it and do not repeat mistakes. Failure is not permanent and nor will this be the last time in love. Make yourself a better person for he experience and do not wallow in pity and lonliness... and don't, I repeat, don't try and find someone to fill the void... when there is no longer a void, is the time you will be ready again for love.

Just some advice re divorce in general. It happened, get over it. Learn from it and do not repeat mistakes. Failure is not permanent and nor will this be the last time in love. Make yourself a better person for he experience and do not wallow in pity and lonliness... and don't, I repeat, don't try and find someone to fill the void... when there is no longer a void, is the time you will be ready again for love.

Agreed. I've certainly moped around Foo before.

After my first divorce, I gave myself a year to "clear my head". I learned that one year was not long enough.

Best of luck. Sometimes things are best left to the professionals so that things that start out unconteseted don't turn into arguments.

For the most part my ex and I agreed on everything. It still cost me $2000 as I needed to cover my arse due to her constant spiral downwards.

I know you've heard this but it bears repeating:

Q: You know why a divorce is so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

and never, ever, re-marry an ex-wife. Trust me on that one.

You guys got off easy. My divorce wrecked me. It was heavily contested with my ex-wife hellbent on destroying every bit of my being. She tried taking my son from Illinois to Florida. All in all, it was somewhere around $10,000 and 2 years to get everything finalized. Sometimes I reflect on how much money it cost, and realize I could have a couple Cervelos in the stable. ;)

You guys got off easy. My divorce wrecked me. It was heavily contested with my ex-wife hellbent on destroying every bit of my being. She tried taking my son from Illinois to Florida. All in all, it was somewhere around $10,000 and 2 years to get everything finalized. Sometimes I reflect on how much money it cost, and realize I could have a couple Cervelos in the stable. ;)

Yup... I hear you... 10k here too and one year of hell.

I don't know any details, but my nephew and his wife got a divorce on line in a week, for a couple of hundred.

Since I work at a law firm with a lot of clients going through divorce, I am thankful there are so many marriages that end on bad terms.

OTOH, if my marriage were to end, I would hope it would be on good terms. Hope I never have to go through it, and I see no reason why I ever would.

^^^God Bless You.

A lawyer without a pre-nup.

Marriage... The leading cause of divorce!

^^^God Bless You.

A lawyer without a pre-nup.
IANAL, just a lowly desktop support technician.

Best of luck. Sometimes things are best left to the professionals so that things that start out unconteseted don't turn into arguments.

Spot on. I've been on both sides of the transaction, meaning I'm a lawyer and I've been a client. Even assuming that you two can remain civil and civilized (I sure hope so), a good lawyer can make sure there are no tax or other loose ends that can be traps for the unwary. Think of it as insurance.

And as a general matter, the best lawyers, divorce or otherwise, know how to deal with the pit bulls but aren't automatically in pit bull mode themselves. The key is to find someone who understands the critical difference between "getting the best, most cost-effective result" and "winning the case." Believe it or not, they are not the same thing.

Spot on. I've been on both sides of the transaction, meaning I'm a lawyer and I've been a client. Even assuming that you two can remain civil and civilized (I sure hope so), a good lawyer can make sure there are no tax or other loose ends that can be traps for the unwary. Think of it as insurance.

Everything has been civil. I saw a draft of the papers today. There were things mentioned (taxes included) that I hadn't really considered. Good to know it's being handled well.

Both of my divorces were uncontested; neither even wanted child support (state required both times), much less alimony! The first was after 13 years, the second after 4. Both were handled at as low a level as possible. The first was, basically, cost-free for me; I didn't want it, and left the state after what I believed was the end of it. (She had to do more, and pay for it all.) The second was self-done, with pre-prepared forms, and repeated rejections from the family court judge for incredible minutae. THAT took a year and a half, and probably less than $200.

It took me a long time to get past the idea that any fault was mine; the first one was unfaithful (after failing to even TRY to communicate her issues with the marriage), and the second was a rebound.

I have thoroughly disqualified any thoughts of a third marriage; a subsequent relationship MAY still happen. Until then, I am going to be good to ME.

Both of my divorces were uncontested; neither even wanted child support (state required both times), much less alimony! The first was after 13 years, the second after 4. Both were handled at as low a level as possible. The first was, basically, cost-free for me; I didn't want it, and left the state after what I believed was the end of it. (She had to do more, and pay for it all.) The second was self-done, with pre-prepared forms, and repeated rejections from the family court judge for incredible minutae. THAT took a year and a half, and probably less than $200.

It took me a long time to get past the idea that any fault was mine; the first one was unfaithful (after failing to even TRY to communicate her issues with the marriage), and the second was a rebound.

I have thoroughly disqualified any thoughts of a third marriage; a subsequent relationship MAY still happen. Until then, I am going to be good to ME.

Relationships are hard. I'll just ride my bike.

Do not sign the "no sex" clause in the divorce agreement.

Relationships are hard. I'll just ride my bike.

Lets make the 3rd wedding for money only.

Relationships are hard. I'll just ride my bike.

I wish I had five bucks for every time someone has told me how smart, or "lucky" I am
to have never been married. A typical comment is "Oh man, you are smart".

I think I'll just ride my bike too.

Ex-wife and I showed up at the office of a lawyer saying we wanted to call it quits. He looked at us kinda strange and had to explain that he could represent one or the other, but not both. So she filed, I nodded along at what she was saying--what we'd worked out beforehand--and then he kicked me out of the office to settle things up with her.

The whole thing was kinda surreal.

They really should make getting married harder than getting unmarried, not the other way around.