Jokes & Humor - Bud

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View Full Version : Bud


cradom
02-04-12, 04:30 PM
This one has probably been on here before but it's a good one...

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out
the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly
answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR
V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data
stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color,150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® *printer,
turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs
it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me
back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you
want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.

AND THAT FOLKS , IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.


ahsposo
02-04-12, 05:34 PM
I'm sure your governor would have fixed it, fer sure.

The man is Brilliant!

Just Brilliant!

Humble too.

cradom
02-05-12, 07:24 AM
We try not to think about that idiot around here. And he was running for pres? Sheeesh.


trackhub
02-05-12, 08:55 AM
+100.

I don't think it would be an actual congressman though. It would be an appointee, from some government agency that no one has even heard of, probably
a bureau of farm animals or something.

genec
02-06-12, 05:55 AM
+100.

I don't think it would be an actual congressman though. It would be an appointee, from some government agency that no one has even heard of, probably
a bureau of farm animals or something.

Exactly... no actual congressman would have a clue as to how to use all that high tech equipment... and due to sexual preferences, would likely know what a sheep was.

Keith99
02-08-12, 06:04 PM
Exactly... no actual congressman would have a clue as to how to use all that high tech equipment... and due to sexual preferences, would likely know what a sheep was.

Only if they were from Arizona, where the men are men and the sheep are running scared.

Or as those from Arizona say .... and the sheep are glad of it.