Foo - Things that make you go Hmmmmm: The Hospital Edition

Being on a clear liquid diet, and getting a lunch tray with a cup of broth, an orange popsicle,and a fork and a knife.

They put you on a clear liquid diet and then they give you weapons?

What? You eat the broth with your hands?

The knife is for cutting all of the cellophane wrapping everything is in, right?

Just be happy it wasn't chopsticks.

So will you be BBQing the popsicle and broth and putting the pictures here?

A hospital here used to have ashtrays (back when they allowed smoking in hospitals) that were supplied by a local funeral home. There was a small advertisement in the bottom of the ashtray.

Sorry, what were we talking about?

The genteel patient eats his popsicle with a knife and fork. And no vulgar sucking of the stick, either.

So will you be BBQing the popsicle and broth and putting the pictures here?

Wouldn't deep fry be healthier. :rolleyes:

And they gave me this drink called GoLYTELY. It makes you go anything but lightly! :eek:

Being on a clear liquid diet, and getting a lunch tray with a cup of broth, an orange popsicle,and a fork and a knife.

And no spoon?

I'm going to keep doing gripping excercises just in case I end up in the hospital and I need to strangle a nurse.

The only places I do not have access to in the hospital / medical center I have worked in for the last 3 decades are cashier and pharmacy areas. During that time, I have seen things that have made me go Hmmmmm, and then some.

Your supposed to save the knife in case of zombie apocalypse.

The genteel patient eats his popsicle with a knife and fork. And no vulgar sucking of the stick, either.

Yes, the stick should be cut neatly into bite-sized pieces before it is eaten. A man needs his fiber.

And they gave me this drink called GoLYTELY. It makes you go anything but lightly! :eek:

I'm confused.

Is the clot in your heart or your colon?

Wait until they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

And they gave me this drink called GoLYTELY. It makes you go anything but lightly! :eek:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AaaO5aYBAI

"Golly Telly"? Oh that's funneh.

At least you haven't had hospital security come in your room to have your room mate's for that day's daughter escorted out of the hospital like I had last year.

And they gave me this drink called GoLYTELY. It makes you go anything but lightly! :eek:

Yep. Like Brillo for the colon. We deliver a couple dozen "doses" every day (I work in a hospital pharmacy).

I'm confused.

Is the clot in your heart or your colon?

Heart, but I also have a hemocrit of 7.4, and am extremely anemic. They're trying to figure out where I'm losing the blood at.

Tom, I wish you nothing but health and happiness and a bright future beyond your present temporary difficulties.

Much appreciated. :D. They've been looking for a GI bleed for almost 2 yrs now to no avail, and are beginning to think I have a quantum black hole down there leaking blood into an alternate universe. ;)

I'm confused.

Is the clot in your heart or your colon?

It is a rite of pasage when you reach your elder years, grasshopper. One day you too will imbide the GolLETELY.

At least you haven't had hospital security come in your room to have your room mate's for that day's daughter escorted out of the hospital like I had last year.


while in for a eeg, the guy in the bed next me was ex-mil, and had a pschotic-break and ran out of the room half dressed. had to be found, drugged and then strapped into his bed.

Heart, but I also have a hemocrit of 7.4, and am extremely anemic. They're trying to figure out where I'm losing the blood at.

Ah!

When I was 12 I had something that was like either rheumatic fever or rheumatoid arthritis and they treated it primarily with massive doses of aspirin. Irritated the lining of my stomach and duodenum enough to cause a bleeding ulcer and I got down to 8 and was fainting from that anemia.

I hope the docs get it figured out. You'll be like a new man if you get your hemocrit up.

Much appreciated. :D. They've been looking for a GI bleed for almost 2 yrs now to no avail, and are beginning to think I have a quantum black hole down there leaking blood into an alternate universe. ;)
That actually wouldn't surprise me.

Heal up, Tom. <3 and I have both been hoping for the best.

Much appreciated. :D. They've been looking for a GI bleed for almost 2 yrs now to no avail, and are beginning to think I have a quantum black hole down there leaking blood into an alternate universe. ;)

It is not leaking into an alternate universe. It is running down the walls at our house. Hope they find the source, as it is freaking the kids out a bit. jsharrityville horror as it were. Oh, and the toilet keeps saying "Get Out!"

OK, I'm out of the test, and they found 9 growths, which are the most likely cause of the anemia. They are on the Proximal descending colon, and I'll be slated for surgery to address these. I'll get loose from the hospital tomorrow, barring complications. We're still waiting on biopsy results from the growths.

My routine over the next while is going to be coumadin management of the AFib, and other HR regulators (Cardizem, Imdur, etc), manage the anemia with weekly whole blood transfusion and CBC until I am clot free enough to convert back to sinus rhythm. Now, apparently, I'll have extreme risk of reversion to AFib, given that it's now a repeat event, so I'll also be being assessed for the pacemaker/defib cyborg club.

So I guess you won't be doing a century next weekend.




Get well fast.

Yikes! Get well soon, and don't forget to have someone fire up the barbie soon the keep it from rusting. That's not how you want to get your Iron. Man.

...so I'll also be being assessed for the pacemaker/defib cyborg club.

Ask if you can run your bike lights off it too. Save money on batteries, y'know?

Seriously though, Hang in there man. I enjoy having you around to post BBQ pictures. ;)

A hospital here used to have ashtrays (back when they allowed smoking in hospitals) that were supplied by a local funeral home. There was a small advertisement in the bottom of the ashtray.

Sorry, what were we talking about?

Haha! Check out the hospital scene from the orig The Day The Earth stood Still, youll see doctors talking about how the alien cured himself with "some sort of sab" all while smoking in the hospital! LOL! Third class witch doctors was right! LOL!

So I guess you won't be doing a century next weekend.

Seriously... I think you should stay off the bike for a week to 10 days maybe. Catch up on the Maru videos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uDuls5TyNE).

Ditto on the get well.

Well, I thought I was gonna get out of here today......it appears not. I have a consult with a surgeon this afternoon on the mass in my colon.

Hang in there Tom, get it done right. Can you order in Chinese food yet? Best to let the docs do what they need to do.

Surgery is slated for Tuesday AM, as of now.

Will they be removing the stuff from your bum and putting in the pacemaker at the same time? Seems that the cardiologist and the GI guy should be getting together.

Well I hate to be materialistic scumbag, but somebody gotta do it. Since we all know you have a freezer full of home made pastrami, if the worst of the worst happens, can I have it?

Seriously, sending good thought and prayers your way.
Hope it all goes well.

Well I hate to be materialistic scumbag, but somebody gotta do it. Since we all know you have a freezer full of home made pastrami, if the worst of the worst happens, can I have it?

Seriously, sending good thought and prayers your way.
Hope it all goes well.

We should cast lots for his pastrami. If things go really well perhaps we get him back that way.

I haven't been on here in forever but just wanted to send you good thoughts for your surgery and recovery.

I haven't been on here in forever but just wanted to send you good thoughts for your surgery and recovery.

This. Here's to a speed recovery, Tom. :beer:

Twenty things to do while recovering from your operation by Dr. Russ T. Scalpel.
1) Pick a foreign accent and talk in it all day.
2)Make a Halloween costume out of your bedsheets.
3)Answer an add on how to make BIG money at home.
4)Learn Morse code.
5)Build a fort out of toilet paper rolls.
6)Practice becoming the worlds fastest remote control user.
7)Name the fifty states... and their capitals.
8)Become a ventriloquist.
9)Make a macaroni sculpture.
10)try selling it on e-bay.
11)Teach yourself to levitate.
12)say the alphabet backwards.
13)Practice exotic bird calls.
14)see how long you can go without blinking.
15)Gargle "The Star Spangled Banner".
16)Plan how you would spend the money if you won the lottery.
17)Make puppets out of empty pill bottles.
18)Call a talk show and say you are a space alien ans see if anyone notices.
19)Draw happy faces on your toes.
20)Get better.

Boy, you'll do just about anything to avoid working :p

Wishing you a speedy recovery Tom.

Surgery is slated for Tuesday AM, as of now.

Correction: Wednesday AM.

Heart, but I also have a hemocrit of 7.4, and am extremely anemic. They're trying to figure out where I'm losing the blood at.
I hope you meant hemoglobin of 7.4, which is a hematocrit of about 21- both quite anemic numbers. Hematocrit of 7.4 is, well, not alive. (I'm an MT, BTW). Hope everything goes well, Tom

Wish you well Tom and look forward to your next barbecue post

I hope you meant hemoglobin of 7.4, which is a hematocrit of about 21- both quite anemic numbers. Hematocrit of 7.4 is, well, not alive. (I'm an MT, BTW). Hope everything goes well, Tom


Yes, and correction noted. ::p

I'm home today, but have to go back Wednesday for surgery and will be in hospital again for 3-10 days, and off my game for about a month after, with restrictions to walking for light exercise.

We're all pullin for you Tom. Keep us updated. You've got my cell number and email if you need anything done around this joint.

Get well Tom. I'm still waiting for you to make Canadian Bacon.