Forum Suggestions & User Assistance - People hurting feelings

I'd like to propose that in addition to disallowing bad words like ****, **** and ****, that we disallow hurting others' feelings. If we're going to have a sanitary community, then there's no reason to stop at four letter words (or longer words like *****). We ought to go the next step and stop nasty talk that hurts people's feelings. After all, people come here to talk bikes... not get their feelings hurt!

Embued with the Christmas Sprit,
Crunksalot

To be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about this one. It's actually kinda amusing watching how creative people can get when they are trying to insult someone indirectly.

Then again, the name-calling is just childish. There have been a few incedents of that lately in the P&R forum. One specific example comes to mind and that's when another member was referred to as "gun boy". His sexual preference was questioned and his whole lifestyle was put down by an insulting member.

Like I said, it's amusing for me, but I'm just a third-party observer. I can't speak for those whom the comments are directed towards.

Doesn't hurt me to insult people. Why should it hurt them?

This whole internet/forum thing is simply electrons flying through wires and electromagnetic waves flying through space.

Very few of us actually know anyone else (I have met JohnE in CA, but that is about it).

We are simply keyboards and typing fingers!

So, why take any of it seriously? (And I admit I have been guilty of so doing)

It is just a pastime, treat it as such!

Ah yes....sarcasm is the filling in the Twinkie of life.

There seems to be a fine ever-changing line between what's considered to be creative insult humor ("Your Mother's so ugly...") & decidedly non-funny insulting insults ("You blankety-blank-blank ******!!!") What hurts one person's feelings brings about hearty laughter in another.

Personally, I try to emulate Garrison Keillor or Will Rogers in a deliberate effort NOT to hurt people's feelings. But this is a fascinating, diverse, large, world-wide (at least the English speaking part) forum. It contains all kinds. A beautiful thing.


It seems to me the present policies are working as well ass can be expected. If you see something you consider truly offensive, get after the offender directly, or, as a last resort, report it to the moderaters.
They seem to have the same standards as the C-Span moderaters, who very occasionly cut something really vile off the air.


By the way, Crunksalot, I really appreciated your historical data in the thread "What's up with the insurgents?" What if the major media routinely made such historical references in their daily stories? Naw...that would probably be Un-American.

I'm tolerant. People need to insult me from time to time to get their point across my thick skull.

Crunkologist: your post offended me. I'd like you to edit it please.
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Moral of the story is that you can't define "nasty talk". What I think is okay is most certainly different than what you think is okay. Best to let members police themselves and not get management involved with the gray areas. Plus, this is a very active board and to have the moderators read every post that is made is just not possible. Don't misunderstand me though. I understand the gist of your post and agree that blatant insults are no fun. But I have to admit that I love creative insulting. The blatant outright insults are so easy to come up with and most 10 year olds can do just as good but it's when the other person really has no idea they're being insulted that amuses me. Bottom line is that you need thick skin to post on a board.

If we can't define nasty talk... then why isn't the filter against words like ****, ****, mother****er and ***** optional? After all... people just resort to f uck, sh1t, motherf*cker, and b1tch. Know what I mean?

Yes, I agree that certain words are easy to define but I was talking more about the insults. I think that is where it gets a bit gray.

We are simply keyboards and typing fingers!


Speak for yourself! I happen to type with my toes.

And exactly who is going to determine whether statement is an insult? I don't mean brainless name-calling using obscenities. I mean the really good takedowns that after all make the boring subject of cyclings so entertaining at a place such as Bike Forums. The takedowns that are close to the truth...

I mean, to us Australians, Americans are so easy to pick on because you take yourselves so seriously. Like the New Yorkers. And like DnvrFox, especially when he was setting up that useless over-50s fourm.

You don't know whether we are winding you up... or not. And that's a LOT of a fun from over here. Hell, the hate email that Hitchy has received and the bleating to the mods about *his* posts would fill a couple of screens here.

Without those useful insults and takedowns, how are we going to protect BF from those annoying little subscribers who join up then ask some inane questions or worse, troll?

No, sorry, cutting out the insults and statements that make people feel bad about themselves is not an option.

Of course, there also has been a sleight of hand here. I notice that the MOVED: prefix has now disappeared from threads that have been moved. This one, the 3/5 one to Politics, The Aussie Thread (whcih has been moved so often, no-one would care anyway)... hmmm.

Transparent or not? You decide.

I try not to take cyberspace too personally. But I think you do make a point: it's one thing when 53-11 makes a boast (does anyone deny that he is "asking for it"), but another when newer folks get on to discuss their bike and people tell them their "wheels are junk", etc. It's just kind of tactless is all.

Speak for yourself! I happen to type with my toes.

And like DnvrFox, especially when he was setting up that useless over-50s fourm.


Darn! And I like you and that wonderful Aussie thread so much! :beer:

Seems like American culture has swung to a point where everyone is offended at something. A few recents threads had lots of the overly sensitive in a tizzy when in fact when the alarmists posts were ignored, although amusing, there was some good discussion going on. What happened to good old debate and harmless put downs in the name of making a point ;) A little thick skin and an open mind makes for a good conversation :D

I'm tolerant. People need to insult me from time to time to get their point across my thick skull.

Fixer, you are such a.....a........a........nope, I just can't do it.



Seems like American culture has swung to a point where everyone is offended at something. A few recents threads had lots of the overly sensitive in a tizzy when in fact when the alarmists posts were ignored, although amusing, there was some good discussion going on. What happened to good old debate and harmless put downs in the name of making a point ;) A little thick skin and an open mind makes for a good conversation :D


Bottom line is that you need thick skin to post on a board.

I guess my skin is pretty thin. If I am insulted, I just remove myself from the offensive situation. I don't mind debate, but I don't like harsh words and name-calling. That's one of the reasons I stay away from some of the forums here. If I posted my honest opinion on something, and someone posted a reply calling me a stupid ***** and telling me to get my head out of the clouds and come back to reality, I would probably just leave Bikeforums and search for other forums to read each day. So there you have it..... if you ever wanna get rid of MsVicki on Bikeforums, call me a ***** or a ****er or a ***** or a *****, and I will go away.

:p

MsVicki!! You have to stay, if only for your avatar!! :love:

Darn! And I like you and that wonderful Aussie thread so much! :beer:
:p :D

MsVicki :love: A Southern humorous Grade School Teacher :love: 'Fess up! Your real name is Bailey White, isn't it? I :love: my grade school teachers...the Miss Paine sisters, Mrs Ahrens, Miss Parks, stern 3rd grade teacher-principal....If you finished your schoolwork up quick & neat you could go to the library & read ANY book you wanted! How about that!! :p


Now, MsVicki :love: , You know us Bad Boys need your Guiding Light & Helping Hand real bad, so your not going away, are you? :love:

Why should the burning in our legs be any greater than the burning in our souls?
Can the frozen gale of another rider ever cut as deep as nature’s winter knife?
Is not our pact to hold our line and not waver as a group but drop our fellows at every chance?

Seems like American culture has swung to a point where everyone is offended at something. A few recents threads had lots of the overly sensitive in a tizzy when in fact when the alarmists posts were ignored, although amusing, there was some good discussion going on. What happened to good old debate and harmless put downs in the name of making a point ;) A little thick skin and an open mind makes for a good conversation :D
Ummm... maybe a sense of humour should be included in there, too. If you can laugh at yourself, you should be entitled to laugh at others.

I type just like this, though my toes are much more agile.

For what it's worth, Bikeforums is much more civil than any other cyber forum, bulletin board, or listserv I've ever frequented. Some people, when posting on cyber forums, are similar to vehicular pinheads (I resemble that remark) who shout at cyclists they pass--too cowardly to stand face to face with someone and say the same things.

I actually feel very strongly about people insulting or abusing complete strangers, because we can never know the full impact our words can have on those we know nothing about. How can we assume we know the emotional state of everyone on the forum? We mustn't generalise from our own experiences: just because we might know what does and does not offends us, our family, our friends and all our collegues, doesn't mean we know what does and doesn't offend everyone in the western world.

Unfortunately, I have some experience with a couple of relatives suffering mental health problems, and there are times when the slightest thing can 'set them off' for a prolonged stay in the "resting hostipal".

Anyway, whatever.........I was gunna write half a page, but I hope I've made my point.

It's a good thing none of us are strangers..... except you. Who are you?

???????

I've only a couple things to say. First, this isn't preschool; no billy, you really aren't as good as everyone else. Susy called you a fat head. No, she won't go to time out, what are YOU as a 'civilised adult' going to do about it?

Words are quite easy to censor. Ideals, opinions and thoughts are quite a different matter. However, as long as we are along this line of thinking, can we remove stupidity, ignorance, and liars? ;)

Being obnoxious is its own punishment. When you are unfairly hard on someone, you hurt the argument you are making because your real point gets lost. My sarcasm has gotten out of hand a time or two, and I've regretted it each time.

That said, a witty, well-deserved put-down can be very, very effective.

However, as long as we are along this line of thinking, can we remove stupidity, ignorance, and liars? ;)
Three-quarters of the membership down the drain straight away.

A well crafted insult can be a beautiful thing. Even when aimed at me. Anyone not willing to take what comes at them on any board has no business posting in the first place. Something tells me Crunk's original post was made with tongue firmly implanted in cheek.

But if I was to vote on what should be banned, only two things come to mind. The smiley icons and all Australians. Oh yeah, and anyone who disagrees with me.

that's what you are, but what am I?

that's what you are, but what am I?

LOL. You guys are quick.

oh yeah? Takes one to know one

oh yeah? Takes one to know one

Actually, it sometimes takes knowing more than one to know one even exists. For one to know this, one has to be one with more than one on more than one occaision. But occaisionally, one might discover one and recognize that one as being one in the same. Relatively speaking of course.

boogers

I'd like to propose that in addition to disallowing bad words like ****, **** and ****, that we disallow hurting others' feelings. If we're going to have a sanitary community, then there's no reason to stop at four letter words (or longer words like *****). We ought to go the next step and stop nasty talk that hurts people's feelings. After all, people come here to talk bikes... not get their feelings hurt!

Embued with the Christmas Sprit,
Crunksalot

One can not govern morals. Mankind has been trying since he first discovered weapons. The only thing to do is teach children.

Peace :)

boogers

Okay, that's it. Feelings hurt now. Indiscrimanate use of bodily fluids. And you wonder why I want all you guys booted.

Actually, it sometimes takes knowing more than one to know one even exists. For one to know this, one has to be one with more than one on more than one occaision. But occaisionally, one might discover one and recognize that one as being one in the same. Relatively speaking of course.

Actually, your theories are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.




Stole that from H. J. Simpson :p

And you wonder why I want all you guys booted.

too bloody right, matey, by crikey

too bloody right, matey, by crikey

Reason number 2 - overuse of regional "Aus-bonics" to confound and poke fun at otherwise clueless Americans. Sorta like pinning a sign on someone's back that says "kick me" or "I'm Gay".

Actually, your theories are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Stole that from H. J. Simpson :p

When I start one, I'll be sure to sign you up. But this wasn't a theory, but more of a brilliant insight that came in a flash. It has no point, and therefore reflects the point of being. And yes, it would seem to fall in line with the wisdom of HJ Simpson. A man of narrow intellect but broad of bum. A man who truly knows there is no point.

A well crafted insult can be a beautiful thing. Even when aimed at me. Anyone not willing to take what comes at them on any board has no business posting in the first place. . . .
The key words are "well crafted." Just calling someone a name ("idiot" or "****** ******") doesn't qualify. To be "well crafted," an insult must be both clever and proportionate to the insultee's offense.

The key words are "well crafted." Just calling someone a name ("idiot" or "****** ******") doesn't qualify. To be "well crafted," an insult must be both clever and proportionate to the insultee's offense. I agree wholeheartedly. The ones I like the most are the ones not understood by the intended target but understood by the general posting population. Name calling is what I did when I was a kid. And in all honesty, there are times when resorting to it again is mighty tempting. Some of these folks can be right irritating. But I usually resist and try for the snide and clever retort. I often fail, but it is the attempt that is important. A good result, just a perk.

Very clever, Crunkologist. You are an immeasurable asset to this forum.

Edit: Either Crunkologist or a moderator wisely deleted the post to which I was referring.

Why should the burning in our legs be any greater than the burning in our souls?
Can the frozen gale of another rider ever cut as deep as nature’s winter knife?
Is not our pact to hold our line and not waver as a group but drop our fellows at every chance?

Awesome verse, WorldWind !! You have some good points, and were able to state them with style.

Tom

Three-quarters of the membership down the drain straight away.

That was insulting to three-quarters of the membership and under the original premise should not be allowed. Now what? Is my saying that your post was insulting insulting to you? :)

But if I was to vote on what should be banned, only two things come to mind. The smiley icons and all Australians. Oh yeah, and anyone who disagrees with me.

Three out of two ain't bad!

Three out of two ain't bad!

Insinuating I cannot count contrary to evidence otherwise, is insulting and does indeed hurt my feelings. Drawing attention to someone's shortcomings is mean spirited and shows a decided lack of class. But my skin is thick and my cranium thicker, so I will just carry on, happy as if I had a brain.

That was insulting to three-quarters of the membership and under the original premise should not be allowed. Now what? Is my saying that your post was insulting insulting to you? :)
<shrug> I don't take you very seriously. I'm Australian, remember?