"The 33"-Road Bike Racing - Offthebackistani made easy.

A lot of newer riders are intimidated by the difficulty of learning Offthebackistani, given that there are few if any online translators available and Rosetta Stone has yet to develop any programs.

I've thrown together a few helpful phrases that can come in handy:
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"Helme": I cannot catch my breath. Please call the medics.

Air quality in Offthebackistan is often poor and lacking oxygen.
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"Eygotflat": I make excuse for bad performance.

This is acceptable for both bike racing and if you happen to get a date with a podium girl. Interchangeable with "Mibraak wus rubink"
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"Wareis nerost siti": My friends left me, I am lost.

People visiting Offthebackistan who fail to stay with the tour group often have trouble with the poor roadside markings.
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Kanu giv riid: I am lost and tired

See "Wareis nerost siti"
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"Kramp kramp kramp": Do you have any water?
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"Ahahah": I have a cramp.
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"Eygot dropd": I should have raced an easier category.

This phrase actually has multiple meanings and needs to be used in context. It could also mean "They are stronger than I am", "It is very windy today", or "I don't ride much"
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"Eygot yeldat ": Please forgive me, I am new here and do not know your customs.

Offthebackistan is an old culture with many nuanced customs and it's common to make mistakes which offend the local population
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"Eyam Looosr": Thank you for riding in front of me. Let us now race for 67th position.

In parts of the country this can be exchanged for "Eyam dooch"
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"Eykwit": I visit here many times

Rather than being clever witty, weren't you supposed to be playing with the latest robotic gadgets from japan?

Rather than being clever witty, weren't you supposed to be playing with the latest robotic gadgets from japan?

China. Everything's made in China these days.

I hope your back gets better soon :) it is very clear that you have far too much time on yer hands...

I hope your back gets better soon :) it is very clear that you have far too much time on yer hands...

+1. but i got a good laugh out of it, so thanks.

+1. but i got a good laugh out of it, so thanks.

Me too. Given some recent results, I'm have use for the phrases.

You know the language well for spending so little time there.

Added in edit: I finally figured it out. RacerEx overhears most of this while in transit to Lap(thefield) Land.

China. Everything's made in China these days.

even the latest high-tech aerobars? ;)

this should be a sticky

Considering my current condition...And the fact I do suck...I really should brush up :)

Autocorrect must have been a beeyatch on that one.

And you know that Deadf'inglastistan borders Offthebackistan where a slightly different dialect is spoken.

^^^Been there, not a nice place...

Is Offthebackistani a new development, close by Niddrie?

Sounds like it.

Nice. :lol:

Don't forget:

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"Identwahrmup": I got here late, only to discover two flat tires.

If you expect to leave Offthebackistan from the north, you should probably ride around the parking lot a few times before the gun.
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"Iemjusveeseeting": I can't believe you let me lap you. Again.

Sometimes tourists enter Offthebackistan from the south and leave shortly thereafter through the north.
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"Eyebonked": I was so excited that I forgot to eat.

Ask around to see if anyone else in the country might have some chapati.
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RX,

I don't believe you have enough street creds to be a translator of offthebackistani, unless the offthebackistan you are talking about of OTB of the pace car :p

What about some of the body language common to the Offthebackistani?

RX gets his experience when he passes through the region on his way to crushing souls in the main peleton as he laps them.

Miss Klipt runs a hostel along the border of Offthebackistan. She knows a short cut to the darkest reaches of the country.

RX speaks fluent Offthefrontiskani.

Miss Klipt runs a hostel along the border of Offthebackistan. She knows a short cut to the darkest reaches of the country.

I know that "lady".