Foo - I can prove that MP is not amish

Here are the facts we know about MP.

-She lives in a van by the river
-She doesn't like canoes

Exhibit 1: Amish love canoes
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s65/StupidlyBrave/Canooooz/Juniata2008/100_4528.jpg

Exhibit 2:
Amish van by the river has no MP

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s65/StupidlyBrave/Canooooz/JuniataAug2011/DSCN0451.jpg

Woooo-hooooo I am vindicated!!

I am vindicated!!
I think you can get a shot to clear that up.

I think you can get a shot to clear that up.
No Canadian surgery required?

No Canadian whiskey required?

A shot would definitely clear that up. A half dozen, and things would be blurry again.

Woooo-hooooo I am vindicated!!

Not so fast. We will be the judges of that.

Couch

My logic is beyond reproach.

My logic is beyond reproach.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/12/5/129045330896628960.jpg

What else makes delicious chicken pot pie?
http://thewisecracker.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Witch-Monty-Python-Holy-Grail-300x221.jpg

Fact #3: I don't like cleaning up horse dung

Fact #3: I don't like cleaning up horse dung
Fact#4: If she doesn't like it, we know she's done it.

Fact#4: If she doesn't like it, we know she's done it.

So what you're saying is she used to be amish? One of those kids that went off on Rumspringa and never came back to the fold?

Woooo-hooooo I am vindicated!!

You could be Mennonite.

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/12/5/129045330896628960.jpg

I see you there....

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o260/TomStormcrowe/100_0031.jpg

If she is from western Canada she could be Doukhobor, eh?

or Mennonite.

You could be Mennonite.
That's what I'm thinking now.

or Mennonite.

Nein, I'm not rich enough to be Mennonite.


That's what I'm thinking now.

Hey!

It's 2 to 1, you're outvoted. Or voted out if you prefer.

I was watching that reality show on the nat geo channel called Amish: Out of Order, which is about Amish who have left the community to join the world of the English.

And I got to thinking... hmmm... could it be, MP is a fallen Amish, out living among the English?

http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o305/spike110820/turdbeast.jpg

If she is from western Canada she could be Doukhobor, eh?

As Doukhobor women have been known to parade protesting around in the nude and there have been no known riots of young men other than the idiots in Vancouver and Quebec lately I highly doubt that the lady in question is Doukhobor. Besides most of the pictures that I've seen of protesting Doukhobor ladies they were not slim and trim as pictures of MP show her to be. :lol:

Here are the facts we know about MP.

-She lives in a van by the river
-She doesn't like canoes

She is a Pumpkinite which is a small order that broke away from the main body of of the Gourdites back in the early 1920's in what was called the "Great Split".

Unlike the members of the main church who do not believe in travelling, bathing, or Justin Bieber, the Pumpkinites have adopted a nomadic lifestyle and prefer to live in vans and recreational vehicles due to persecution by Gourdite death squads, who are given a dispensation to leave the main commune in order to hunt down heretics. They can often be found close to bodies of water as they have adopted bathing and have done well to blend in well with regular campers and weekenders. This serves to camouflage themselves but can be set apart by their religious hatred of canoes which are a powerful symbol in the Gourdite faith.

If you are out camping and someone declines to get in a canoe with you, there is a good chance that you have met a Pumpkinite.

And we have all seen how much MP loves bubble baths.

or Mennonite.

Perhaps she is a Mennonite, out there hanging around with Floyd Landis.

She is a Pumpkinite which is a small order that broke away from the main body of of the Gourdites back in the early 1920's in what was called the "Great Split".

Unlike the members of the main church who do not believe in travelling, bathing, or Justin Bieber, the Pumpkinites have adopted a nomadic lifestyle and prefer to live in vans and recreational vehicles due to persecution by Gourdite death squads, who are given a dispensation to leave the main commune in order to hunt down heretics. They can often be found close to bodies of water as they have adopted bathing and have done well to blend in well with regular campers and weekenders. This serves to camouflage themselves but can be set apart by their religious hatred of canoes which are a powerful symbol in the Gourdite faith.

If you are out camping and someone declines to get in a canoe with you, there is a good chance that you have met a Pumpkinite.

And we have all seen how much MP loves bubble baths.

Wow! Have you been drinking OTJ?...or just talking to X again?

Wow! Have you been drinking OTJ?...or just talking to X again?

Why do you ask ?

There was a time I was studying to enter the ministry and in doing so came across a great deal of obscure information on smaller sects that very few people know about and discovered if the Gourdites had their way there would be nothing written about them as they do not believe in paper... of any kind.

This was one of the major reasons (besides fear of canoes) that the founder of the Pumpkinite movement, who was named Mango Abernathy decided to break away from her rather smelly brothers and sisters and the love of Abernathy was so deep, the Pumpkinites have all taken to naming themselves Mango out of respect and take bubble baths in her honour.

Does she float?


<edit>sorry wrong thread:o

Why do you ask ?

There was a time I was studying to enter the ministry and in doing so came across a great deal of obscure information on smaller sects that very few people know about and discovered if the Gourdites had their way there would be nothing written about them as they do not believe in paper... of any kind.

This was one of the major reasons (besides fear of canoes) that the founder of the Pumpkinite movement, who was named Mango Abernathy decided to break away from her rather smelly brothers and sisters and the love of Abernathy was so deep, the Pumpkinites have all taken to naming themselves Mango out of respect and take bubble baths in her honour.


I like your thinking mate. There is such a group called The Hutterites....we just branched off.

Amish Paradise lyrics
Songwriters: Stevie Wonder;Jr. Ivey;Larry Sanders;Alfred Matthew Yankovic;Doug Rasheed



As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/w/weird-al-yankovic-lyrics/amish-paradise-lyrics.html ]

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even payed the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robonson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

I like your thinking mate. There is such a group called The Hutterites....we just branched off.

I buy my eggs, chickens, and back bacon from the Hutterites here...

I buy my eggs, chickens, and back bacon from the Hutterites here...

I heard there was a splinter group of the Hutterites that deals in dairy products. They are the Butterites. They are considered themselves to be better than the Hutterites, like the cream that rises to the top.

Amish Paradise lyrics
Songwriters: Stevie Wonder;Jr. Ivey;Larry Sanders;Alfred Matthew Yankovic;Doug Rasheed



As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/w/weird-al-yankovic-lyrics/amish-paradise-lyrics.html ]

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even payed the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robonson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

Alfred Matthew Yankovic... :lol:

The thing that gets me is that Stevie Wonder was apparently involved in writing that.

Alfred Matthew Yankovic... :lol:

Fellow Cal Poly SLO alum (Architecture, '82(I think)), by the way.