Classic & Vintage - The Challenge: Sell my boat anchor for $500 to some poor innocent buyer.

I've heard a lot of complaining about unscrupulous Craigslist sellers who are more than a little disingenuous when it comes to marketing their bikes.

No amount or exaggeration or fabrication is beyond the pale. They will say/do ANYTHING to snag that naive first-time buyer, and some of the ruses they employ are actually quite clever: Just consider the superlatives they apply in their ads, the fictitious historical significance, the celebrity status, the gross inaccuracies, the borrowed photos, the sob stories, whatever... With them, anything goes, and they move their metal, while we sit here and struggle to sell our bikes at fair and reasonable market prices to that same audience. :(

I wonder: Are we that stupid? Are they really that much more "imaginative" than we?

I don't think so - but this is a marketing challenge to you all: Show those dirty flippers that we can be just as inventive as they - and (by forgetting everything our mothers told us, and by casting all of our scruples to the wind), sell my boat anchor (below) for $500 to some poor innocent buyer. ;)

PS - The only rule in this game is to close the text of your fictitious Craigslist advert with the phrase "It would make a great fixie".

Good luck!

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh117/auchencrow/Bike%20Forums/Bike%20Forums%202/HuffyRoadBike.jpg

No, Auchen, I will not help you unload that boat anchor on some young unsuspecting naive trusting innocent first-time buyer. :innocent: However it would make a great fixie!

No, Auchen, I will not help you unload that boat anchor on some young unsuspecting naive trusting innocent first-time buyer. :innocent: ...!

Wassup? You got a problem wid throwin' out your scruples or sumpin?


... However it would make a great fixie!
Dern tootin'!

Would the Cheerios and the other stuff in the room come with it? It would make a great fixie to ride right after breakfast.

this time of year is always good to claim that the bike was ridden in the Tour de France.

I remember there was a lister in the Milwaukee or Chicago CL that has incredibly hilarious and creative descriptions for their bikes. I picture them be the kind of salesman who could sell ice to an Eskimo.

"Ridden by the Blue Meanie in the Yellow Submarine movie. Honest."

Would the Cheerios and the other stuff in the room come with it? It would make a great fixie to ride right after breakfast.

You can promise the moon if you like. Even write out the deed.

That bike would make a great commuter.

"Ridden by the Blue Meanie in the Yellow Submarine movie. Honest."

- And it would make a great fixie!:thumb:

That bike would make a great commuter.

- And don't forget - a great fixie too!:)

This is Raquel Welch's former bike, she used it on the set of One Million Years B.C. to get around the studio lot in a hurry. I think I have one of her fur bikini's in storage, I will throw that in for the asking price. It would make a great fixie.

This is Raquel Welch's former bike, she used it on the set of One Million Years B.C. to get around the studio lot in a hurry. I think I have one of her fur bikini's in storage, I will throw that in for the asking price. It would make a great fixie.

Way to go Jet! :thumb:

RARE CUSTOM RIDDEN BY ARMSTRONG IN 1ST TDF VICTORY. SIGNED BY ARMSTRONG (have sharpie ready). COMES WITH CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY (which requires no more than word processing and printer). MINT. WAS FIXIE BEFORE SPEEDS ADDED, SO IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FIXIE.

All caps mean it's TRUE.

ABE LINCOLN'S 1ST BIKE . . . .

it comes with the display stand right?

it comes with the display stand right?
And Campagnolo stem shifters.

Vintage Swinn Racing Bike - FAST!!

I have a vintge Swinn bike for sale. I've seen bikes like this sell for $2000 on ebay, but I'm letting this one go for only $500 because I want to sell it quick. I used to race on this bike. It is really FAST! Would make a great fixie!

A variation of the testimonial approach...


"My name is Reverend Matthew B. Trustworthy. My good friend Eddy Merckx, one of the greatest cyclists of all time, road this bicycle to several Tour de France victories."

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1377/4727314228_f9257ab9f0.jpg


Or, how about....

"Want to meet beautiful women? Buy my bike and get out on the road. Women dig cycling."
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7222/7190351047_443e4d886f.jpg

Extremely rare "Java" racing bike with two tone paint scheme and limited edition rear reflector. This bike was the prototype for the Lance Armstrong 2005 "Tour de France" winning bike. It was hand made to his specifications and is a fine example of cutting edge technology. I don't want to sell this bike but have come on hard times and am willing to let it go for only $500. If for some reason you would rather avoid the hassle of changing gears this bike would make a great "fixie". It is ok to contact this seller.

It has curvy handle bars, like the ones they use in the Tour de France. As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.
It has little skinny tires, like the ones they use in the Tour de France. As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.
It has no front brake, like the ones they use in the Tour de France (so they can go fast. brakes just slow you down). As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.

Oh, and it would make a great fixie.

Extremely rare "Java" racing bike with two tone paint scheme and limited edition rear reflector. This bike was the prototype for the Lance Armstrong 2005 "Tour de France" winning bike. It was hand made to his specifications and is a fine example of cutting edge technology. I don't want to sell this bike but have come on hard times and am willing to let it go for only $500. If for some reason you would rather avoid the hassle of changing gears this bike would make a great "fixie". It is ok to contact this seller.


:lol:- And it would make a great . . . .

A variation of the testimonial approach...


"My name is Reverend Matthew B. Trustworthy. My good friend Eddy Merckx, one of the greatest cyclists of all time, road this very bicycle to several Tour de France victories."

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1377/4727314228_f9257ab9f0.jpg
....

Such honest eyes. Nice touch!

Attention Buyers!

Are you tired of buying products made in Taiwan? Do you want a quality bike made from a material that will last? Do you also want to help the environment and feel good about yourself by recycling rather than buying new? Here's your chance to make a difference in the world!!! This is a rare, vintage, steel bike like the kinds raced for decades and that leaves a small carbon footprint. Be part of the green revolution!

This bike will fit anyone from 5'0 to 6'4, all you have to do is raise the seat and I'll show you how! I'll even fit you to the bike when you come out and raise the seat for you...which bike shops charge $50 for!

Bike is made in America, just like the best modern bikes, and, like them, is made of steel. Steel bikes last forever, which is why they don't make them now! They want you to buy new bikes once a year, and those aluminum bikes break once a year. Steel bikes like this last forever. To buy a good made in America steel bike now you have to pay THOUSANDS of dollars, but you can get this one for MUCH LESS! Check out sites for American steel bike makers like Richard Sachs and Vanilla! They just don't make them like this any more. And more tour de france races were won on steel bikes than any other material! The bike stores don't want you to know this.

Bike comes complete with kick stand, so you don't scratch it up, color coordinated bike seat and tape so you look as good as your bike does!

Ride the trails like the real riders today! This bike is fun and ready to go, it just needs a loving owner. Whether you want to train for the big event, or just go to town this bike is PERFECT!

Must sacrifice, $500. It's worth a LOT more, but I need to get rid of it because I'm moving to Nigeria. You can even use this with a track stand, just like the pros, on days when it's raining. Oh yeah...for you crazy college kids, it makes a great fixie!

RARE CUSTOM RIDDEN BY ARMSTRONG ON THE MOON

Fixed it for you...

"I know where you live so I suggest you buy this bike" has a ring to it also.

Someone has offered me $400 for the wheels alone but I want to pass it along to someone who will really enjoy it! Would make a great FiXIe, too!

Wowser you guys! I just can't keep up with all the fabulous marketing speak here! Fantabulous!

Wowser you guys! I just can't keep up with all the fabulous marketing speak here! Fantabulous!

Some of them are almost TOO good :innocent:

Some of them are almost TOO good :innocent:

I think some may have prior experience in political speech writing, but if it moves my boat anchor, I'm all for it!

This is Raquel Welch's former bike, she used it on the set of One Million Years B.C. to get around the studio lot in a hurry. I think I have one of her fur bikini's in storage, I will throw that in for the asking price. It would make a great fixie.


Her bra top may be big enough to substitute for a set of panniers!

Rare vintage italian racing bicycle. Shinamo positron shifters, this is the same thing pros like Neil Armstrong use, so you know it's high quality. If you know about bikes, you know what a great deal this is. I love this bike but have to sacrifice it to pay for for my little girl's chemotherapy treatments. You won't find one like this again! It won't last long at this price! It would make a great fixie, so get it before some other hipster does!

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh117/auchencrow/Bike%20Forums/Bike%20Forums%202/HuffyRoadBike.jpg[/QUOTE]

For Sale $500

One of a kind racing bicycle. Rare and collectable. Must sell to pay my bookie, my bad bet is your gain.

Special features include:
* Rare 4 piece padded handle bars, guaranteeing comfort on the long rides you will easily do with this bike.
* Easy reach shifter allowing faster shifts than oher racers.
* Custom blue to silver fade paint job with color coordinated seat and handle bars. The paint job alone is worth $500.
* Feature a low maintenance once piece crank. the simple engineering elegance of this design is time and race proven.
* And remember all in life is not racing so a lightweight kickstand is include for convenient coffee stops.
* The parts alone are worth over $500
* this would also make a great fixie.
and you win twice with a fixie, you have a hip bike sure to get attention from your preffered sexual partners (sheep really like fixies) and you will make a profit by selling the parts.

Meet with cash at Joe's 6am bar......that way my bookie can be sure of getting the cash and I won't get a broken leg. No need to call, just show up with the cash any time of day. Ask for Bruno.

Squirtdad - I am certain I saw that ad posted locally. Are you from where you say you are?

Squirtdad - I am certain I saw that ad posted locally. Are you from where you say you are?

Quite sure, but because of the distance I will accept a wire transfer or cash mailed to general delivery.

I really cannot believe no one has used the line "Chicago made Schwinn" thus far..........:wtf:

These things are always listed here on CL as "Chicago made" Schwinns.

And even though that bike would obviously make a very sweet and fast fixie,
I will not further contribute to your quite obvious criminal endeavor.:notamused:

If you did get, say $450 for it using my ad, what would be my percentage cut ??:o

This bike is of the generation after the Front Freewheel System. "How could anyone ever improve upon such an ingenious system?" you ask. Well, you won't have to look long at this beauty to see how. Note the one piece crank. Now, most road bikes you see around these days have multiple parts to the spindle and cranks. But not here. Here we have an example of mechanical engineering at its peak. There's no chance of parts slipping, no worry about your chainline. Install this beauty of a crank and be on your way. And dare we mention color coordination? Even the most color ignorant of the non-color blind can see that ever part of this bike has been color coordinated, from the blue fade, to the blue sparkle saddle (did I mention those are real sparkles????), to the blue bar tape (we had to skin 8 smurfs to get that much material), this thing is just a beauty behold.

Everyone knows lugged steel bikes go faster down hill than carbon bikes. So, one can only imagine that it must be twice as fast with this not-so-fillet brazed machine. You'll be bombing down hills on this thing in no time. And of course that bombing speed will only translate into less effort on your part going up that next hill (trust me, you'll need all the help you can get).

And the kick stand! How could I forget this marvel of convenience. No more leaning your bike against a wall only to scratch your saddle or bar tape. Never mind the condition of your chain stays, clamp that bad boy down, give it a kick and stand your bike wherever you'd like.

And just when you think a bike couldn't get any more perfect, look at those reflectors. Yes look at them, all pretty and reflectorish. Yeah, they do stuff. They reflect light. How freaking cool is that? In the day time people might even see it, but at night... hooo boy at night.... Yeah, a motorist saw me once and mistook me for those little plastic driveway markers being blocked by a plant blowing in the wind. Yeah, that's how effective they are.


Well, that should say it all. If you don't buy this bike, then you obviously just don't have enough money.


Oh and it will make an uber sweet fixie.

Bike for sale. Blue.

$500

My dad's college room mate, a guy by the name of Grant Peterson, owed my dad money but gave him this bike instead. My dad said that Grant went on to be a famous bike maker in Japan or something and only makes bikes out of some rare steel. His bike company has something to do with the "Lord of the Rings" movies, so, I think $500 for this bike is more than fair. It's a piece of Hollywood history. Oh, and it would make a great fixie.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh117/auchencrow/Bike%20Forums/Bike%20Forums%202/HuffyRoadBike.jpg

For Sale $500

One of a kind racing bicycle. Rare and collectable. Must sell to pay my bookie, my bad bet is your gain.

Special features include:
* Rare 4 piece padded handle bars, guaranteeing comfort on the long rides you will easily do with this bike.
* Easy reach shifter allowing faster shifts than oher racers.
* Custom blue to silver fade paint job with color coordinated seat and handle bars. The paint job alone is worth $500.
* Feature a low maintenance once piece crank. the simple engineering elegance of this design is time and race proven.
* And remember all in life is not racing so a lightweight kickstand is include for convenient coffee stops.
* The parts alone are worth over $500
* this would also make a great fixie.
and you win twice with a fixie, you have a hip bike sure to get attention from your preffered sexual partners (sheep really like fixies) and you will make a profit by selling the parts.

Meet with cash at Joe's 6am bar......that way my bookie can be sure of getting the cash and I won't get a broken leg. No need to call, just show up with the cash any time of day. Ask for Bruno.

Is your item still available? i really like the picture i saw on craigslist and i think the price is okay, but i will be paying you via cashier check because i am a very busy person therefore i will not be able to come and pick it up myself but there is a shipping company that has been handling my shipment since that i will ask to come for the pickup. But i will need your name that will be on the check and your address where you can receive the check through courier service. Also the payment i will send will include the shipper money this you will help me send to them through western union money transfer so that they can contact you as soon as possible for the pick up.The western union charges you will incure in sending it will also be deducted from the payment i will send to you. Get back to me with your information if you are okay with this so that i can mail out the payment to you asap. Thanks.

;)

Originally Posted by Mercian Rider http://www.bikeforums.net/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?p=14493369#post14493369) RARE CUSTOM RIDDEN BY ARMSTRONG ON THE MOON



Fixed it for you...

This. Is. Hilarious.

•
“For Sale: baby-blue bike, not worn out.”
$500•

Rare & unique pre-war French-Italian prototype. This was to be a breakthrough world class race bike. The old man I got it from said that Benito Mussolini was the original owner. All components are original and are rare collector's items. The blue seat was very unusual in prewar days. It is the first ergonomic saddle produced. Surviving examples are impossible to find. The frame is true Hi-ten steel, not the cheap cro-moly of later bikes. Most components are actually magnetic, a rare feature. The dropouts are pressure-formed, a manufacturing technique that is not used on event the most expensive bikes today. Shifters are mounted perfectly in the centerline of the bike for maximum aerodynamics. The crank was formed in one piece with graceful curving surface detail. Most bikes have to use an awkward and high maintenance 3 piece design that is prone to eventual failure. Even though this is a 10 speed, it would even make a great fixie due to the amazing versatility of the frame design.

I have to sell this bike due to a death in the family. My sons will not pay the bill for my chemo anymore, my veteran's benefits have been cut off, and the nursing home has downgraded my room, no space to store this beautiful memento of better days that are now past.

BIKE FOR SALE

Huffy Team Professional for sale, $500 FIRM.

Huffy gets a lot of static for having made a few bikes that got sold in local hardware stores, but did you know they had a Tour de France team? That's right, they partnered with 7-11 and ran right up there with the top dogs. THIS IS A TEAM REPLICA BIKE..

The originals were high-strung fragile all-out racing machines, built to survive for no more than 200 miles. This better-engineered replica has ALL THE SAME COMPONENTS that the team models did, in a much more robust frameset with sturdy American components.

SOME THINGS ARE IMPROVED. Instead of the weird Italian tires that had to be glued onto the rim, this bike comes with American-standard "Clincher" race-inspired tires on sturdy steel rims. The TEAM wheels had only 28 spokes, and were known to collapse under a heavier, strong rider. These rims have 36 spokes, are plated in the very finest chrome, and run on top of infinitely-rebuildable "cup-and-cone" hubs, JUST LIKE CAMPAGNOLO.

Shifters are on the steering stem, by the handlebars, to save a precious fraction of a second in the heat of battle. Shifting is the historically-proven "friction" style, and in a nod to the Tour, features a FRENCH-INSPIRED 5-speed FREEWHEEL and NONPARALLELOGRAM DERAILLEUR. Two different cog sizes in the engine room on the DROP-FORGED CRANK to take full advantage of all gearing potential and maximize your gear choices. Pedals are light, strong alloy steel, hot-dip galvanized for supreme longevity and with BUILT-IN REFLECTORS to satisfy Government standards and keep you safe on the way home after a long, long ride.

Kickstand included because some people seem to want them but I can take it off for you if you like.

The $500 is FIRM. I will entertain NO offers below, though if you show up at the same time as someone else and you get into a bidding war, I'm not going to step in to stop you. This is a true survivor of a bicycle, and if you don't like the gears, it would make a sweet fixie.

Call me, yo.

I'll take two please...

I really cannot believe no one has used the line "Chicago made Schwinn" thus far..........:wtf:

These things are always listed here on CL as "Chicago made" Schwinns.

And even though that bike would obviously make a very sweet and fast fixie,
I will not further contribute to your quite obvious criminal endeavor.:notamused:

If you did get, say $450 for it using my ad, what would be my percentage cut ??:o

Dear Sir 3Alarmer;
I will gladly make it worth your while upon the successful conclusion of said transaction. My personal envoy will deposit the money directly into your account, so I will be requiring your account number, your full name as it appears on your cheques, and the bank routing number. Unfortunately, due to the new Nigerian banking mandates, all International bank transfers must be made in even amounts of $10,000.
I greatly apologize for the inconvenience this causes, and will remunerate you for your trouble by asking that you refund only half of that amount to me via US Postal Money Order or cash.
As always, I know I can rely on your utmost holy integrity and expeditiousness in this most urgent matter.
Signed,
Prince Auchen XIII of Nigeria.

My dad's college room mate, a guy by the name of Grant Peterson, owed my dad money but gave him this bike instead. My dad said that Grant went on to be a famous bike maker in Japan or something and only makes bikes out of some rare steel. His bike company has something to do with the "Lord of the Rings" movies, so, I think $500 for this bike is more than fair. It's a piece of Hollywood history. Oh, and it would make a great fixie.

Wow! - Even I didn't know that GP used my bike in the Lord of the Rings movie! Who was riding it? GP? Bilbo? Sauron?

selling old blue i was told this bike was ridden by a columbian bike racer with an indian name i cant remember right now who it was but he had an indian name and he was fat or fast i liked this bike a lot but i lost my job and my cat got sick and died and i have to pay the vet bills i used this bike down at the beach to pick up chics they dug my massive thighs and i would bring beers with me and the chics love it and this bike would make a great fixie which i am told is a one speed but this has at least 7 i think it has a rear brake but u can put a brake on the front tire if you want. NO SCAMMERS

This bike is of the generation after the Front Freewheel System. "How could anyone ever improve upon such an ingenious system?" you ask. Well, you won't have to look long at this beauty to see how. Note the one piece crank. Now, most road bikes you see around these days have multiple parts to the spindle and cranks. But not here. Here we have an example of mechanical engineering at its peak. There's no chance of parts slipping, no worry about your chainline. Install this beauty of a crank and be on your way. And dare we mention color coordination? Even the most color ignorant of the non-color blind can see that ever part of this bike has been color coordinated, from the blue fade, to the blue sparkle saddle (did I mention those are real sparkles????), to the blue bar tape (we had to skin 8 smurfs to get that much material), this thing is just a beauty behold.

Everyone knows lugged steel bikes go faster down hill than carbon bikes. So, one can only imagine that it must be twice as fast with this not-so-fillet brazed machine. You'll be bombing down hills on this thing in no time. And of course that bombing speed will only translate into less effort on your part going up that next hill (trust me, you'll need all the help you can get).

And the kick stand! How could I forget this marvel of convenience. No more leaning your bike against a wall only to scratch your saddle or bar tape. Never mind the condition of your chain stays, clamp that bad boy down, give it a kick and stand your bike wherever you'd like.

And just when you think a bike couldn't get any more perfect, look at those reflectors. Yes look at them, all pretty and reflectorish. Yeah, they do stuff. They reflect light. How freaking cool is that? In the day time people might even see it, but at night... hooo boy at night.... Yeah, a motorist saw me once and mistook me for those little plastic driveway markers being blocked by a plant blowing in the wind. Yeah, that's how effective they are.


Well, that should say it all. If you don't buy this bike, then you obviously just don't have enough money.


Oh and it will make an uber sweet fixie.

Man, you really went all out rehabbing this bike for me.. Sparkle saddle, kickstand, skinned-smurf bar grips. No one will will ever call you a DKO flipper again! Who could resist such a bargain? I'm tempted to keep it for myself now!

it comes with the display stand right?
:lol:


This bike will fit anyone from 5'0 to 6'4, all you have to do is raise the seat and I'll show you how! I'll even fit you to the bike when you come out and raise the seat for you...which bike shops charge $50 for!
:roflmao:


Call me, yo.
:roflmao2: :roflmao:

This thread is gold; more please. :)

...
The $500 is FIRM. I will entertain NO offers below, though if you show up at the same time as someone else and you get into a bidding war, I'm not going to step in to stop you. This is a true survivor of a bicycle, and if you don't like the gears, it would make a sweet fixie.

Call me, yo.

Hey "yo" !
That is an angle I never would have thought of - tell all the buyers come at the same time - and let them get into a bidding war!
I'd be a little concerned that it might turn into a real war though, and someone would get hurt... I kinda' wish I had a tear gas launcher, or a water cannon, but the garden hose will have to do.
(I could use it on any low-ballers that show too)