Cipher
01-16-05, 04:39 PM
It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and Successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
'Stella Awards' for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States.
THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:
5th Place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
5th Place (Tied)
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th Place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.
4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have
been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed
over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet
gun.
3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument.
2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid
paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place!!!!!
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On
his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
freeway,he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
$1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually
changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there
were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and Successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
'Stella Awards' for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States.
THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:
5th Place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
5th Place (Tied)
19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th Place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.
4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have
been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed
over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet
gun.
3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument.
2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor
and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.
Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid
paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place!!!!!
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On
his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
freeway,he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's
manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
$1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually
changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there
were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.