Foo - boyz r dum

where are all the good ones hiding?

Here! Here!

Oh, wait... I'm married. Sorry...

Look for men, not boys.

they are dumb too!

Seems like there is no winning here.

Who wants pie ?

Pie sounds good. what kind of pie?

BAck before i turned gay i was super cool once i had a members only jacket and a trans am witha foot print gas pedal

Pie sounds good. what kind of pie?

You were not invited since you don't like us.

what a meanie

I don't know if you're the type of person that this applies to or not, but I honestly think that all of our lives most of the good people are stuck with the "middle school dance" syndrome. Boys on one side wondering how they should approach the girls and wishing they knew how to do so, and girls on the other side waiting for the boys to come over. I was thinking recently, "Man, it has been awhile since I've had a girlfriend," and deluding myself saying, "well, all the girls I meet are my friend's girlfriends," and things along those lines. The truth is that I just need to step outside my comfort zone and go for the girl, or in your case boy, when you meet one you like. Usually the worst case scenario is that they say no, in which case they usually let you down lightly and you might feel a little embarrassed... Which is better than wondering "what if..." which you definitely will feel for longer. I taught myself this in my late teens and did pretty well for a few years, but then suffered some post traumatic stress which has led me to developing a slight anxiety disorder, so I kind of feel like I'm at the point where I'm completely starting over with women. I have promised myself that come October when I get my driver's license back, I will make it a point to ask the next girl I have strong first impressions of attraction towards out, and I suggest you do the same... but with a boy of course.

If that doesn't apply to you, your problem might just be the pool you're fishing from. Make it a point to get out and meet more new people, and you're bound to meet some boys you like.

i am in the friend zone forever.

Read the ladder theory. Men have no friend zone.

Boys are dumb - how long did it take you to work that out?

Now that you know this, you are better prepared...

The "good boyz" are all enjoying college until 22, up to maybe 26. Just figuring out what life is about and having fun.

After that, they are in the workplace, probably working too much, but slowly figuring out more what life is about. This phase is 22-26 (Maybe up to 30).

Towards the late 20s, the "good boyz" begin looking in earnest for *the one* - someone who has been on a similar path and has drive and passion. Then they marry her.

It's your job to be there when the good boyz finally grow up and get ready to settle down. Either that or, at a young age, marry some bum with no ambitions.

Look for men, not boys.

She said 'boyz'. So the situation is apparently far worse than you surmised.

Men get "friend zoned", I didn't know that was possible for women.

Hmmm, I would really hate to be all serious on FOO, and I don't mean to be a meanie myself, but since the OP has brought up several of these types of posts recently, I guess I am not completely out of line...

Hey, alphabet girl, have you taken a step back and thought about how you present yourself to others? From my perspective on this forum: Only recently have I come to realize how old you are. Because of your posts about going to bars and such, you are at least 21, so I figure maybe 22, tops. But, before that, I have always assumed--based on your posts and style--that you were one of our younger forum members, possibly in the 15-16 year old category.

I think I was one of the "good boyz" when I was your age (22, 23, 24), and where was I? All my "good boyz" friends and I were not hanging around women who called us "boyz" or "dum" or anything of that sort. We were with women who were in grad school, spending Friday nights writing papers and dissertations, not hanging out at bars being all cutesy. Now we are all in our 30s with professional and academic wives with PhDs, and who are stable enough that we can be stay at home dads who take our kids on bike rides every day, have very solid relationships, and can have conversations on topics that even our parents don't know exist. It all started in our very early 20s.

In other words, and I really wish I could articulate this better--in order to find the highest quality partner, you have to present yourself in high quality form as well. Yep, it's a critical statement, but critical isn't bad. If my best friend in the years after college hadn't been critical about me, I wouldn't have seen the Big 3 things about myself I had to change. As soon as I worked on them--BAM--I met my wife. I couldn't have met her without my friend saying critical (and in his socially awkward case--very insensitive) things about me to my face. But I remember those conversations with my friend like they happened this morning, and I will never go back to my old ways of thinking or acting. All thanks to him.

Crap, I better step back and get back to my quasi-wannbe-obnoxious FOO image. Sorry. :)

In other words, and I really wish I could articulate this better--in order to find the highest quality partner, you have to present yourself in high quality form as well.

This means stop looking for "Boyz" at the strip bar or local druggie hangout.

Hey, alphabet girl, have you taken a step back and thought about how you present yourself to others?


This!

El Coucho

where are all the good ones hiding?

They are hooked up with women who can spell and use grammar. Rather than 'text speak'.

where are all the good ones hiding?

I think they are all in the Little Rascals "He Man Woman Haters Club House"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-4qR-69hpM&feature=related

This means stop looking for "Boyz" at the strip bar or local druggie hangout.
I think she mentioned online dating before... so I have to ask, are you just responding to people (i.e., boyz) that send you messages, or are you actively searching with an idea of what you're looking for, and initiating contact?

You can get a good feel for people by reading their profile. lolspeak is cute on occasion, but can they spell and use proper grammar? do they have a degree and some direction in life? can they articulate their interests and do you share some of them? Can they effectively describe themselves and what they're looking for, or do they rely on their pictures to attract people? Do they take care of themselves physically, i.e. exercise and cooking/diet? Unless you're genetically lucky, these things will catch up to you by age 25-28.

I see a lot of "girls" in the 22-30 range. Give some thought to the above-mentioned things and maybe check your own profile to see what it says about you.

I see a lot of "girls" in the 22-30 range. Give some thought to the above-mentioned things and maybe check your own profile to see what it says about you.
The only thing I got out of "Saved by the Bell" as a youngun was the episode when the nurse-character was trying to steal Zack from what's-her-name-Kelly, and the nurse asked: "Zack, do you want a 'girl', or do you want a 'woman'?" I never forgot that and I applied to it the rest of my partner-seeking life. I still use it as advice for others today.

Wait until you get to be 30 or 40. By then all the guys that the cool girls didn't want to have anything to do with in high school or college have graduated college and started careers - and most of them have settled down into some sort of domestic routine with someone. The guys don't change much, but the girls that eventually realize what made the guys so unappealing when they were younger makes them more appealing when we're all older.

The only thing I got out of "Saved by the Bell" as a youngun was the episode when the nurse-character was trying to steal Zack from what's-her-name-Kelly, and the nurse asked: "Zack, do you want a 'girl', or do you want a 'woman'?" I never forgot that and I applied to it the rest of my partner-seeking life. I still use it as advice for others today.


You made me look.


http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/8986/view4xz9.jpg

Read the ladder theory. Men have no friend zone.

Guess I'm not normal then. :p I've had a couple of girls who liked me but there was no way I would ever see them as anything but a friend, and there was definitely no chance of me sleeping with them.

Boyz may be dum, but it seems that grrls still want them anyway.

That explains the Mexican saying:

"God makes them and they find each other."

Guess I'm not normal then. :p I've had a couple of girls who liked me but there was no way I would ever see them as anything but a friend, and there was definitely no chance of me sleeping with them.

If they were the last women on earth and you were hammered?

You made me look.


http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/8986/view4xz9.jpg

Not a lot of them to the pound boys:thumb:

If they were the last women on earth and you were hammered?

Never been hammered and never will be, but just because she's the last woman on earth wouldn't make me suddenly want to have sex with someone I don't find attractive.

Never been hammered and never will be, but just because she's the last woman on earth wouldn't make me suddenly want to have sex with someone I don't find attractive.

Sounds like your standards are very high. What are you looking for?

Hmmm, I would really hate to be all serious on FOO, and I don't mean to be a meanie myself, but since the OP has brought up several of these types of posts recently, I guess I am not completely out of line...

Hey, alphabet girl, have you taken a step back and thought about how you present yourself to others? From my perspective on this forum: Only recently have I come to realize how old you are. Because of your posts about going to bars and such, you are at least 21, so I figure maybe 22, tops. But, before that, I have always assumed--based on your posts and style--that you were one of our younger forum members, possibly in the 15-16 year old category.

I think I was one of the "good boyz" when I was your age (22, 23, 24), and where was I? All my "good boyz" friends and I were not hanging around women who called us "boyz" or "dum" or anything of that sort. We were with women who were in grad school, spending Friday nights writing papers and dissertations, not hanging out at bars being all cutesy. Now we are all in our 30s with professional and academic wives with PhDs, and who are stable enough that we can be stay at home dads who take our kids on bike rides every day, have very solid relationships, and can have conversations on topics that even our parents don't know exist. It all started in our very early 20s.

In other words, and I really wish I could articulate this better--in order to find the highest quality partner, you have to present yourself in high quality form as well. Yep, it's a critical statement, but critical isn't bad. If my best friend in the years after college hadn't been critical about me, I wouldn't have seen the Big 3 things about myself I had to change. As soon as I worked on them--BAM--I met my wife. I couldn't have met her without my friend saying critical (and in his socially awkward case--very insensitive) things about me to my face. But I remember those conversations with my friend like they happened this morning, and I will never go back to my old ways of thinking or acting. All thanks to him.

Crap, I better step back and get back to my quasi-wannbe-obnoxious FOO image. Sorry. :)

This, IME

You're ( I think ) pretty young. There is going to come a time for you when you want a man instead of a boy. Now, when that happens to you, depends on you. For me, that kind of happened late...not until I was about 33 or so. Up until then, I only wanted men my age or younger, who weren't especially mature. Anything else seemed boring to me. Admittedly, I'm a little weird. I don't want to get married again (I was married once very briefly when I was way too young--it was a disaster), and I don't want any kids. I have no desire to be a housewife and I'm very career oriented. So there are only so many men interested in that kind of woman. But what I wanted started to change as I got older. It's more about the way I wanted to be treated. And generally, a man about 10-12 years older than me tends to work out the best. I didn't plan it that way, that's just how it's been. Their priorities are different. They appreciate me more. They should...I'm interesting, smart, and a lot of fun!

Very young men (boys) don't give a $hit. You will never be their top priority, or second, or third. The last two men I've dated would literally do anything to please me...trust me, it's a huge difference.

I don't know if you're the type of person that this applies to or not, but I honestly think that all of our lives most of the good people are stuck with the "middle school dance" syndrome. Boys on one side wondering how they should approach the girls and wishing they knew how to do so, and girls on the other side waiting for the boys to come over. I was thinking recently, "Man, it has been awhile since I've had a girlfriend," and deluding myself saying, "well, all the girls I meet are my friend's girlfriends," and things along those lines. The truth is that I just need to step outside my comfort zone and go for the girl, or in your case boy, when you meet one you like. Usually the worst case scenario is that they say no, in which case they usually let you down lightly and you might feel a little embarrassed... Which is better than wondering "what if..." which you definitely will feel for longer. I taught myself this in my late teens and did pretty well for a few years, but then suffered some post traumatic stress which has led me to developing a slight anxiety disorder, so I kind of feel like I'm at the point where I'm completely starting over with women. I have promised myself that come October when I get my driver's license back, I will make it a point to ask the next girl I have strong first impressions of attraction towards out, and I suggest you do the same... but with a boy of course.

If that doesn't apply to you, your problem might just be the pool you're fishing from. Make it a point to get out and meet more new people, and you're bound to meet some boys you like.


My turn: Wut?

Guess I'm not normal then. :p I've had a couple of girls who liked me but there was no way I would ever see them as anything but a friend, and there was definitely no chance of me sleeping with them.

So they were pigs, huh?

Sounds like your standards are very high. What are you looking for?

Basically this:


So they were pigs, huh?

Not trying to be mean, but just because the opportunity is there doesn't mean I'm going to jump on it automatically (no pun intended). It would be like eating a serving of some food I don't care for just because it's available, even though I'm not hungry.

It would be like eating a serving of some food I don't care for .

So they were pigs, huh?

So they were pigs, huh?

They were basically so physically unattractive to me that just the idea of sleeping with them was enough to turn my stomach. And yet they still had no trouble finding guys to date (and bang). It's not that I thought they were beneath me or anything (again, no pun intended), I just don't understand the logic of sleeping with someone you find physically unattractive just because you can. I don't need it that badly.

I don't hang out at bars :(

They are hooked up with women who can spell and use grammar. Rather than 'text speak'.


snip...have you taken a step back and thought about how you present yourself to others?

...in order to find the highest quality partner, you have to present yourself in high quality form as well.

Exactly. If you want to attract a quality man, then you have to present yourself appropriately. It's like a kid walking into a store looking for a job with pants sagging and a "do rag" on their head...You may be perfectly capable and intelligent, but what you present screams shallow, lazy and illiterate when you type in text and call boys dumb.

They were basically so physically unattractive to me that just the idea of sleeping with them was enough to turn my stomach. And yet they still had no trouble finding guys to date (and bang). It's not that I thought they were beneath me or anything (again, no pun intended), I just don't understand the logic of sleeping with someone you find physically unattractive just because you can. I don't need it that badly.

I've generally found that looks are not the first priority. Some of my girlfriends were stunningly beautiful, but what really kept the relationship going was what a sweet,warm and intelligent woman she was. I sleep with a woman to express love and care and to have fun. As a teen, I felt as you did about attractiveness, but as I got older, I began to see below the surface. The warts just don't matter. And as you seem to know, sleeping with someone because you can is not the point. Making love with someone is an action of mutual affection.

I've generally found that looks are not the first priority. Some of my girlfriends were stunningly beautiful, but what really kept the relationship going was what a sweet,warm and intelligent woman she was. I sleep with a woman to express love and care and to have fun. As a teen, I felt as you did about attractiveness, but as I got older, I began to see below the surface. The warts just don't matter. And as you seem to know, sleeping with someone because you can is not the point. Making love with someone is an action of mutual affection.

I guess I haven't reached that point yet. If just the idea of having sex with a certain person makes me sick to my stomach, then I can't imagine what would have to be below the surface to make me want to do it. That's not to say that looks are my first priority, not by any means. In fact I'm usually most attracted to women who aren't especially beautiful but have some other quality or qualities that make them stand out from the rest. But I can't be physically repulsed by her and still be attracted to her. Maybe that's shallow but I can't help it.

I don't hang out at bars :(

That's good, you'll only find drunks there.

If you ride bikes, try out the critical mass/zoo ride scene maybe?

You've just discovered why some young women like older men. Boys are DUM. Older guys would have no luck at all if it wasn't for how stupid young guys are.

Anthony

I don't hang out at bars :(
You're right. It was only once. Sorry. :D
http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php/834528-to-the-bar-i-go!