Jokes & Humor - I have always dreaded old age...

Bikeforums.net is a forum about nothing but bikes. Our community can help you find information about hard-to-find and localized information like bicycle tours, specialties like where in your area to have your recumbent bike serviced, or what are the best bicycle tires and seats for the activities you use your bike for.




View Full Version : I have always dreaded old age...


MsVicki
01-25-05, 08:40 AM
I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at the walls or watch TV.

So last week, when the President suggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen Week by cheering up a senior citizen, I decided to do just that. I would call on my new neighbor, an elderly retired gentleman, recently widowed, and who, I presumed, had moved in with his married daughter because he was too old to take care of himself.

I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call (some old people cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day. When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door dressed in tennis shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond.

"I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced myself, "but I'm due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semifinals today."

"Oh that's all right," I said. "I baked you some cookies..."

"Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need for bridge club tomorrow! Thanks so much!"

I continued, "...and I just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay! I'll just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady."

"Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called to remind her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She mentioned at breakfast (at which house??!) that she had an appointment for a tint job."

So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83); she was in the hospital ..... working in the gift shop.

I called my aunt (age 74); but she was on vacation in China.

I called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot...... he was on his honeymoon.

So now I dread old age more than ever. I just don't think I'm up to it.




(Be sure to click the picture...it is animated.)


norton
01-25-05, 12:05 PM
Truthfully, MsVicki, knowing you, I was a little afraid of clicking on the animated thumbnail, fearing what it might reveal :eek: ....

No need to dread old age...If 60 is the new 30 (AARP)...What will 90 be when we finally get to it :p

MsVicki
01-25-05, 10:35 PM
Truthfully, MsVicki, knowing you, I was a little afraid of clicking on the animated thumbnail, fearing what it might reveal :eek: ....

Yeah yeah... :p


77Univega
01-26-05, 12:06 AM
[QUOTE=MsVicki]I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at the walls or watch TV."

-- Yeah well when us boomers hit the 75 to 80 range, we will be like no others before us. Rock and roll.

Stacey
01-26-05, 05:00 AM
Man, I hope to be dead by 75!

Biker2004
01-26-05, 10:56 AM
I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being old. How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at the walls or watch TV."

-- Yeah well when us boomers hit the 75 to 80 range, we will be like no others before us. Rock and roll.

From a GenX Boomer born in 1962: I definitely concur!!!

:D

eubi
01-28-05, 07:15 AM
My dear Canadian friend flyliz sent me this as the tag line to her email. She claims she didn't dream it up, but what the heck. I like it! I think the readers of this forum would agree.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, white wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"