Foo - Question for recovering alcoholics/non-drinkers...

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't? I've almost never refrained from drinking in the past, and every time I have I've just been exceedingly bored or annoyed with the drunk people. If I just avoided the situations, I would honestly have to stop seeing almost every one of my friends. I guess I'm kind of hoping it's the type of thing that you just get used to. So anyone, ways to not feel like an outcast for not drinking amongst drinkers?(Not that my friends would look down upon me for not drinking or anything, it's just my own anxiety.)

Drink something else is my usual answer. There is no shame in just having a Coke or whatever. It used to happen to me all the time... I had an amateur bartender for a roommate for a while.

Find some new people to associate with. I hate being around people who are drinking- they're loud and moods can swing in no time. I prefer to drink alone on the rare occasions I feel the urge to do so. Bad experiences in my youth... and with today's tech/mobile video/pics, I really don't want to wake up some morning to discover that I did something that I really shouldn't have.

People, places and things. I avoid being in situations where there is heavy drinking. I can count on one hand how many times I've been around alcohol since I started recovery nearly two year ago. However, with the Steps and the guidance of others, I should be able to join the occasional gathering (with others drinking). But, I've done a TON of work to get to that point. I'm an adult and should be able to handle big boy situations.

I realize and accept now, that I can not consume alcohol or mind altering substances in ANY form. After years of trying to control the beast, I've accepted that I am an Alcoholic and that I am responsible for my actions and one of those is making a decision everyday. That decision is to not drink.

With that said, I've found that the people who truly cared about me, my old drinking buddies, refrain from drinking around me when they want to see me and be around me. The others have moved on and I'm very cool with that. I am not here to judge their actions. Most of them can effectively drink as adults.

If you want to, you are more than welcome to PM me regarding all of this. I've already put enough on my sleeve in this thread. I will finish off with this though. My life has become wilder than my wildest drunken dreams since I started this recovery gig. Life has truly been amazing these past two years.

Rick D.

I just order a coke or an iced tea.

I just order a coke or an iced tea.

Coffee neat for me.

Couch

Tonic with a twist of lemon is my preference in social situations. After a relatively short time, I didn't find being in the presence of alcohol to be much of a problem. (Stress, OTOH, never ceases to trigger an impulse.) But I did stop hanging around bars, except those with live music. Drunks were just not as much fun as it had seemed in the past. Casual social situations where alcohol is being consumed was an easier adaptation than I would have anticipated (and I was one who was pretty much never without a drink of some sort nearby from the first shot in my morning coffee). Having no fear driving home when you see a cop nearby is a nice bonus. Avoiding heavy drinking situations while still maintaining the friendships you want to maintain really is doable. Some drinking buddies may fall by the wayside, but people come and go throughout one's life in any case. For me, it was a new promise every day that ultimately just became part of who I am. And you really do come to realize that the benefits outweigh the sense of deprivation. You ain't really missing all that much. Good luck.

Thanks all. I get my license back next week after having it suspended for a DUI in March, so I need all the good vibes I can get about not drinking. Frankly I'm lucky to be alive and not have several more DUIs. Hopefully now that I've massively cut down on the drinking and have a very good group of friends, those days are behind me.

In my experience, the only people who pay attention to what and how much other people are drinking are alcoholics themselves. Either active or in recovery.

But here's the practical advice: have a drink in your hand. It keeps people from commenting or shoving a drink on you. I usually drink sparkling water with lime. (Most people will assume it's a Tom Collins or G&T.) If you get uncomfortable, give yourself permission to leave.

In my experience, the only people who pay attention to what and how much other people are drinking are alcoholics themselves. Either active or in recovery.

But here's the practical advice: have a drink in your hand. It keeps people from commenting or shoving a drink on you. I usually drink sparkling water with lime. (Most people will assume it's a Tom Collins or G&T.) If you get uncomfortable, give yourself permission to leave.

Only a pathetic jackass concerns himself with what others drink.
I drink(very often) but never have been around others who berate non-drinkers with us.

You might reconsider where you hang out in that part of the world and go elsewhere.

I had to think about this a bit and I realized I've only been around drinkers 3 or 4 times in my 25 years of sobriety.
Over the first 2 to 5 years of sobriety I formed realationships with sober people.

On occasion I've been pressed to have a drink and I usually say something like "no thanks, I have to be home by Christmas."

On occasion I've been pressed to have a drink and I usually say something like "no thanks, I have to be home by Christmas."

I like that. I like that alot. I'm going to have to use that in the future.

Couch

Two words: Shirley Temple (or maybe Roy Rogers) :)

As someone who is a Jekyl/Hyde, and had a Bad Sober as a father, to say I have a dislike for alcohol is... an understatement. That said, this is how I hand situations involving alcohol:

Bar rules: I enter for 1) Food, 2) live band, or 3) I'm being paid to do so. I also agree with having a drink in your hand, be it water or a root beer(closest I come to drinking beer). I also don't let random people order for me(since most bar goers are there for the buzz). If it became a regular occurance(sp?), I'd get a shirt saying I DON'T WANT ALCOHOL. At least the bartenders, if they knew a drink was for me, wouldn't make it in the first place.

Alcohol outside of a bar: If you can handle your alcohol, GREAT! If you can't, I don't wanna be around when you drink(I housed someone for the local SA Corps and they ruined a set pf speakers I can't replace, and playing a ((shudder))Jimmy Buffet CD too)

Order a Virgin Cuba Libre :thumb:

In my experience, the only people who pay attention to what and how much other people are drinking are alcoholics themselves. Either active or in recovery.
That has not been my experience; many people pay a lot of attention if you aren't drinking, and it's generally very negative attention. I've lost count of the times someone's demanded to know what was wrong with me or made fun of me for refusing a drink. I've even had someone refuse to date me because I didn't drink. To give some context, my father was alcoholic, I was allowed to drink as a young child, and at 17 I decided never to drink alchohol again. I've spent a lot of time as the only non-drinker in a crowd of drinkers. Eventually I took up activities that aren't conducive to intoxication -- that's a lot better!

I just say no. I have never wanted to drink bar once when I was at college. Hated the experience and never did it again. Here in Korea its almost an obligation to drink and I simply refuse. People don't understand and I don't care. I choose not to drink and if they do its not my problem. :)

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't? I've almost never refrained from drinking in the past, and every time I have I've just been exceedingly bored or annoyed with the drunk people.
That's probably because drunk people are usually boring and annoying.


So anyone, ways to not feel like an outcast for not drinking amongst drinkers?
I'd say you pretty much have to accept that you're different and you are going to stand out from the crowd. Coming to peace with that is not so easy. One interesting thing I observed is that my being sober when everyone else was drinking caused genuine distress to quite a few people -- I'm not entirely certain why -- maybe they felt bad about using alcohol as a crutch to cope with social situations. They don't express that directly, maybe they aren't even really aware of it, but if you look carefully you see it. Knowing that helps you realize that you're not alone and gives you something outside yourself to focus on.

I'm much more aware of this now that my sister is about to marry a recovering alcoholic. I actually have felt awkward drinking infront of him.

Her wedding was initially planned as 'dry' but now will be 'mixed'. Will be interesting to see how that works out with so many AA members there...

Her wedding was initially planned as 'dry' but now will be 'mixed'. Will be interesting to see how that works out with so many AA members there...

Like any other group of people, you will find that some of them are jerks, some of them are not jerks and some of them are Steelers fans (I recovered in Pittsburgh). Honestly, if most of the AAers at the party have down their work, you will likely not even know they are in AA. In my experience, and this is only mine, most of them are just grateful to not have to pick up again and generally mind their own business in public. But, that's generally the type of AAers I hang out with.

Couch

By the time I stopped, several of my other friends had stopped. So if anybody commented, it was easy to just say "I had to stop for a while". If it got to a point where I was uncomfortable, I would then make a quite exit.
Simply decide what you want to do for yourself.

I simply choose not to go to parties or hang out with people that care if I am or not drinking.

If they care what's in my hand to drink, I don't care to be around them.

I do drink, but I don't get drunk. I had two beers last night and was pretty buzzed. That was more than enough.

In 20 years, I've only had one person really insist I take a drink. It was the Dean of the College where I work. I just kept smiling and politely declining. He knew I was an alcoholic and just didn't care. He wasn't a bad guy otherwise, he just couldn't take the fact that I could say no and he couldn't. After spending his last few years drinking at his desk and passing out every afternoon, he is no longer among us. Just keep smiling and you'll live a lot longer.

I just tell people that I'm the designated driver, just don't tell them that the person you're driving for is yourself.

I just tell people that I'm the designated driver, just don't tell them that the person you're driving for is yourself.
I used to show up with soda when I was in college and drove somewhere and got some grief for it, especially if people found out there wasn't any alcohol in it. I used to tell people I'd put too much time/money/effort into my car to wreck it by drinking and most people were ok with that. The rest of them usually wanted a ride home later on.

I can't say I'd recommend what I did after that, but it worked for me at the time. My exwife is a heavy drinker, and everyone seemed to understand that one of us needed to be able to handle the trip home.

If it's a casual setting when people are sitting around just having a drink, then I'll have a Coke or something. If it's escalating into a more party-type situation where people are getting drunk then I'll call it a night and head home. Some of it is not wanting to be in that environment, and some of it is getting older and finding that behavior uninteresting.

Of course I'm an admitted introvert who enjoys a quiet evening at home.

Also, I would like to add that 'No.' is a complete sentence. If they continue to ask why, just tell them that. You don't need to go into complete detail as to why you don't drink. You are not obligated to go any further as to why you are not drinking.

Couch

When I'm DD for my friends, I find that it makes everyone else more comfortable for me to have some sort of drink in front of me. Sometimes it's cranberry juice, soda, tonic with lime, or some other random concoction I can throw together using common bar beverages. Other times, it's just plain water. It seems like people are slightly disturbed by someone in the bar without a drink. I can't explain why.

With my friends, going to a bar is just as much about conversation as it is the drink. Probably more about conversation really... You either put yourself in the conversation or sit there and be a miserable wall flower. Enjoying yourself around other people is all about your mindset; it doesn't matter if alcohol is involved at all. Think back to middle school dances... If you weren't out on the floor, were you having fun? Why weren't you out on the floor? What held you back (if something did)?

I'm much more aware of this now that my sister is about to marry a recovering alcoholic. I actually have felt awkward drinking infront of him.

Her wedding was initially planned as 'dry' but now will be 'mixed'. Will be interesting to see how that works out with so many AA members there...

I'm sure it'll work out fine. My dad's side of the family pretty much confirms all the ethnic stereotypes about Chicago Irish Catholics and it seems like whenever there's a big family event like a wedding, half the party is in recovery and the other half should be. If you pay attention, you'll pretty quickly figure out who the Friends of Bill are. Find them and soak up some of the gratitude that radiates from them.

So many of you are providing a way to blend in... with fake drinks, but what the OP is wondering about is the social aspect of dealing with folks that are on the way to becoming increasingly incoherent.

Frankly I never found a good way to deal with that... as folks get more and more "loose" the conversation intensity goes down, the subject matter tends to drift and drinkers tend to become boring.

That is the point where you grab the last handful of snacks and find the door.

On the plus side not drinking tends to give you more energy for other things... Go visit museums, or go to more formal music venues such as symphonies.

Stop hanging around in bars and at parties. Hell host a tupperware party and only serve juices... you never know who you may meet.

Find them and soak up some of the gratitude that radiates from them.

This. It's overwhelming at times. I've met so many wonderful and caring people in AA and NA it is crazy.

Couch

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't? I've almost never refrained from drinking in the past, and every time I have I've just been exceedingly bored or annoyed with the drunk people. If I just avoided the situations, I would honestly have to stop seeing almost every one of my friends. I guess I'm kind of hoping it's the type of thing that you just get used to. So anyone, ways to not feel like an outcast for not drinking amongst drinkers?(Not that my friends would look down upon me for not drinking or anything, it's just my own anxiety.)

Well, I don't drink. I never drink (except when I was younger and experimenting-that turned me off from alcohol & drugs plenty fast). My family's history on both sides has known tragedy with drinking/drugs. So now I proudly attend parties and not worry about my fellow party goers. I have become the designated driver (I still keep my state's driver's license always current even though I usually ride bikes for transportation purposes) and will never let others go home in that condition.

Let me tell you something. The designated driver is someone who is always the hit of the party and never a bore!

I haven't touched alcohol in 20+ years, but when I'm in a social setting, I order a coke, etc. I've never really felt awkward around folks who are drinking, either. I have had people ask politely why I don't imbibe, but if they press the issue/question, I just tell them, "A poison-free mind strikes fear in the man without raising a fist."

I've found telling people I'm not going to drink alcohol doesn't phase most of the people I know now (it's kind of like not smoking in many places), but when I tell people I'm not going to eat or drink something unhealthy like like soda/ice cream/Big Mac/donut I get more attention. I just tell people I know what that stuff does to you and that usually ends the discussion.

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't?
Personally, in those types of social situations, I like to power down large amounts of water. Whether I"m at a bar or someone's house, I may easily drink 5 or 10 glasses of water.

I have to say... since I am not a drinker, I tend to stay away from groups of people who are drinking. Talk about boring! It's tough being the only sober person in a room. Yes I know the drunks think themselves sauve and charming but what they really are is loud and obnoxious and clueless to how silly they act.

Basically if you go to the effort to clean yourself up - find other friends. If you are attending AA classes, then hang out with those people (although I find them alittle contentious and boring as well and alot smoke too much).

The best way to stay out of trouble is stay away from the places and people they caused you to drink. Alot of my friends do drink but not around me. Our socialization tends to be sport related. If they are going out to drink, I decline and find something else to do. I don't feel deprived in any way. It's about living your lifestyle not someone elses. But if being with drunk people works for you, then order a soda water and enjoy!

But basically I second what Genec said...

I'm sure it'll work out fine. My dad's side of the family pretty much confirms all the ethnic stereotypes about Chicago Irish Catholics and it seems like whenever there's a big family event like a wedding, half the party is in recovery and the other half should be. If you pay attention, you'll pretty quickly figure out who the Friends of Bill are. Find them and soak up some of the gratitude that radiates from them.


I guess you and Couch are right. Things will be fine.

Our main REAL problem is working out if Dad will be ok to walk my sister down the aisle, or if I get the job as 'understudy'. He has dementia and we've been half-joking that he might get lost between the door and the altar. I suspect it will be my sister doing the leading.

Well, I don't drink. I never drink (except when I was younger and experimenting-that turned me off from alcohol & drugs plenty fast). My family's history on both sides has known tragedy with drinking/drugs. So now I proudly attend parties and not worry about my fellow party goers. I have become the designated driver (I still keep my state's driver's license always current even though I usually ride bikes for transportation purposes) and will never let others go home in that condition.

Let me tell you something. The designated driver is someone who is always the hit of the party and never a bore!

Good on you (well know austrailian phrase, and any aussie drinks:))

My mon does not drink, never has, she simply does not like the stuff. Never known her to have any problems with people at events where there was drinking going on.

I've played Rugby for decades and the post match drink up are a real part of the culture. But for at leat 20 years it has been very acceptable to not drink. No mention at all unless someone has won an award that would normally involve a bit of chugging.

A while ago there was a ref who was a recovering alcoholic. I was known for having good beer in my cooler and when I knew or even suspected he would be our match official I made sure to have a alcohol free beer or 2 with me.

Real friends do not preasure people to drink, even or perhaps especially those who are in a drinking culture.

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't? I've almost never refrained from drinking in the past, and every time I have I've just been exceedingly bored or annoyed with the drunk people. If I just avoided the situations, I would honestly have to stop seeing almost every one of my friends. I guess I'm kind of hoping it's the type of thing that you just get used to. So anyone, ways to not feel like an outcast for not drinking amongst drinkers?(Not that my friends would look down upon me for not drinking or anything, it's just my own anxiety.)

Yeah. First most of this is in your head. Part of your brain is telling you to "fit in" and drink which is in fact crap. Second, nobody drinking really cares that you're not drinking provided they have someone else around them who is acting as stupid as they are. No worries there. The world is filled with such people. Finally, you obviously have interests in other things besides drinking. Get back in touch with it. It's a great big world out there outside of drinking that is very fun and enjoyable.

Oh, and just for fun, do a little test. Find out which of your drinking friends are really your friends. Those that fall off the radar are more about drinking than you. You'll find out fast which ones are meaningful. Quitting drinking doesn't have to be a big deal. It's only as importat as you think it is. I just casually moved away from it and those "friends" and went back to doing what I enjoy w/o drinking.

There are three categories of drinkers: pros, amateurs and retired pros.

As a retired pro, I can tell you that this notion that anyone with a history of drinking problems and DUIs can somehow learn to control their drinking is probably delusional. But we all learn the hard way.

By the way, in AA, we call New Year's Eve 'Amateur Night'.

When somebody asks me why I'm not drinking booze, I tell them I'll have a drink tomorrow. If they press, I'll tell them I'm on medication that won't mix with alcohol. I really don't care what other people think or drink, that's their affair. And it's not for me to determine if anyone is an alcoholic besides myself. Not my business. But the more I'm around other people getting drunk the more I'm comfortable that sobriety is the right path for me. I've been that way for 16+ years. But I really only have today. And I really only have to worry about staying sober for today. That's why people who celebrate their years of sobriety seem to me to be missing the point. But that's their business too. Not for me to judge.

As a retired pro, I can tell you that this notion that anyone with a history of drinking problems and DUIs can somehow learn to control their drinking is probably delusional. But we all learn the hard way.



This part hit home with me. I am an alcoholic with a long history for someone my age, and I have been deluding myself into thinking I can control it. The only thing I feel like I can do at this point, which I am doing, is work on the underlying causes of my drinking.

Genec had it pretty much right... I couldn't care less if people are judging me for not drinking, because I know my true friends enjoy my company whether I'm intoxicated or not, though they've rarely seen the sober side of me over the past ~7 years. I've known most of my friends long enough that we were friends before we started drinking, and if any of them don't want to hang out because I'm not drinking, I may miss them, but good riddance. I'm mainly worried about what to do, because at this point, I basically don't know how to enjoy anything but alone time without drinking... I am learning though.

This thread has been really interesting. I'll add my bit.

I'm like Pcad. I am a retired pro, although I didn't have to go the AA route and I can have the occasional drink without the uncontrollable urge to drink more and more.

In my prime, I could drink most people on this thread under the table. I was a journalist, and learned to drink in an isolated mining town to which I was posted in my early 20s.

Fast forward to a marriage break-up, a heart attack in my early 40s, and I was in a bad position. But even the heart attack didn't really stop me from drinking, although I got off the cigarettes and got into cycling. I did drink alone, at home, so I wasn't a threat on the roads or to myself in conflict with others.

Then I met someone on PBP 2003 (Paris-Brest-Paris randonnee in 2003), and the rest, as they say, is history. This woman was virtually a non-drinker, and although we had a long-distance relationship for quite some time before we got married, I just stopped drinking more as a respect for her than anything else.

And I felt great. I lost weight, and my cycling improved immensely (which was handy because I was still into randonneuring at the time).

Now we will have the occasional drink to celebrate, or in particular social environments. But it doesn't dominate me, and that respect factor is to the forefront of my mind. We don't really associate with others who drink, and that's fine with me, too.

We went to an Audax Australia ball 18 months ago, and had water all night. No-one was concerned at all. It's the same wherever else we go... either water or diet coke.

I must say I like Pcad's use of medication as a way to fend off those who persist in offering drinks. Most people understand that, and at his/our age, there's some credence in the medication part.

BenzFanatic, you don't mention if there is someone close in your life (as in SO). SOs can be a very strong influence on what happens, as can other close family members and friends. Those who want you to continue drinking/eating/smoking are enablers, and are likely encouraging you so they can do it themselves without feeling guilty.

When that guilt factor is absent in your SO/family/friends, then you get all the support you need.

In the 50+ forums, I posted on thread about someone giving up smoking that one of the motivators for me was the faceless corporation making a fortune out of me smoking, and at the same time they couldn't care less what my health and wellbeing was. I used the logic to help reduce my drinking to almost zero.

I also think back to the daily hangovers and the irritating little medical issues such as roseatia on my forehead that resulted from what I did... let alone the broken relationships along the way.

Anyway, good luck with your efforts. I think once you find who your real friends are, it will become a lot easier.

And also kudos for someone as young as you recognising the issue so early and getting on with solving it. I wish I had done it at your age instead of waiting for over 20 years.

Thanks Rowan, most of us would love to challenge you to the "under the table, last one standing" contest. It's just not a good feeling when you win... Not drinking hurts me no more than not smoking. Just takes a bit more persuasion to get there.

Thanks Rowan, most of us would love to challenge you to the "under the table, last one standing" contest. It's just not a good feeling when you win... Not drinking hurts me no more than not smoking. Just takes a bit more persuasion to get there.

Isn't that the truth...

Long story short my basic question is what do you do when everyone around you is drinking and you can't or don't? I've almost never refrained from drinking in the past, and every time I have I've just been exceedingly bored or annoyed with the drunk people. If I just avoided the situations, I would honestly have to stop seeing almost every one of my friends. I guess I'm kind of hoping it's the type of thing that you just get used to. So anyone, ways to not feel like an outcast for not drinking amongst drinkers?(Not that my friends would look down upon me for not drinking or anything, it's just my own anxiety.)

When I was younger and it was my turn to be the DD, I was right along with you in that I was bored and irritated at the drunk folks (mainly because I was not one of them). Also, the post drinking food stop (a place called Taco Bravo in Campbell, CA) which was just great when drunk, turned out to be horrifically disgusting when sober. I hung up my drinking shoes in Jan 2011 much to the shock and awe of all of my friends, but also to their admiration. So while I have had friends bust my balls a bit over it, that's all it was. I did not really avoid parties or bars because I knew that's where my friends would be - I'd go and order a club soda w/lime (I don't drink coke and iced tea keeps me up at night). As far as feeling like an outcast, I think that's natural at first because - lets face it - you've changed (for the better). After a while, I think you get used to it. If nothing else, you like the fact that you can drive home after the party and not worry about DUI checkpoints, or sleeping on someones nasty couch or wondering about whether you forgot your wallet, phone or jacket. Or, worse - trying to figure out the name of whomever you've woken up to.

Now, typical to me, I resort to humor when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. So while you do not owe any explanation as to why you're sober, you can - if you choose - come up with a funny line. I tell folks that I kept winding up naked at the library and they finally revoked my library card and that's why I stopped. It's goofy, but more often than not, folks stop asking after that. If they really bear down on you, you can rightfully tell them to F- off.

One thing I was told is that when you go out in social situations, find a back exit that you can slip out of real quick without anyone noticing. That way if things get a little heavy, you can step out for a few minutes - walk around the block or something - and return without anyone noticing.

Good luck, man.

Thanks Rowan, most of us would love to challenge you to the "under the table, last one standing" contest. It's just not a good feeling when you win... Not drinking hurts me no more than not smoking. Just takes a bit more persuasion to get there.

Hank Wiliams, Jr said it best: The hangovers hurt more than they used to...

Or, worse - trying to figure out the name of whomever you've woken up to.

I have been there a couple of times. The even worse part than not knowing their name is wondering if you used protection. I have had repeated nightmares about some girl who I don't even know calling me up and telling me I have a 4 year old kid or something.



One thing I was told is that when you go out in social situations, find a back exit that you can slip out of real quick without anyone noticing. That way if things get a little heavy, you can step out for a few minutes - walk around the block or something - and return without anyone noticing.

Good luck, man.

I have that part down. Being a smoker definitely helps in the awkward social situations. And thanks.

Rowan, no SO's for me really at this point. No girlfriend, likely due to my former heavy drinking, and all of my friends drink, though I'm sure they will applaud me for quitting... and I'm not really close to anybody in my family except my mother, and she still thinks I'm so smart and whatnot that I'll be fine no matter what, as mothers are inclined to think.
And thank you for the kind words, but they are truly unfounded. Truth is I should have quit years ago. When I was 18 and already a full blown alcoholic, going to high school drunk every day, my sister, who is also an alcoholic, drunkenly fell in front of a train, costing her half of her left foot. Later that year, I wrapped my car around a tree drunk driving and somehow managed to get it home(by myself and in the middle of nowhere thank God.) And the year after that, I found out I had already done permanent, albeit minor, damage to my liver. Not to mention that I basically ignored a brain tumor for a year due to my heavy drinking, which cost me partial loss of sight. Luckily that is being corrected. At this point I just can't physically do it anymore, nor do I want to go through another DUI. If it weren't for the DUI though, I would probably be up to the same old thing. I am actually indebted to the state for being so strict on DUI's.

Of course I'm an admitted introvert who enjoys a quiet evening at home.

Can't say I'm an introvert, but I'm not a social person at all. I get along fine with people and like most of the people I meet, but to sit around talking about most of the things people talk about, seems like a colossal waste of time. I just can't do it.


That is the point where you grab the last handful of snacks and find the door.

Yesss!! love that move :)

I'm like Pcad. I am a retired pro, although I didn't have to go the AA route and I can have the occasional drink without the uncontrollable urge to drink more and more.



If that latter statement is indeed the case, you aren't like me at all, and I seriously doubt you were ever a pro.

But whatever works for you.

At the end of the day, few conditions are as poorly understood as alcoholism and addiction.

But I really only have today. And I really only have to worry about staying sober for today. That's why people who celebrate their years of sobriety seem to me to be missing the point. But that's their business too. Not for me to judge.

I can't tell you how many 'Old Timers' have said just that to me. Early on it helped drive home the point of 'One Day at a Time'. As a result of that, I saw myself in the same boat as the guys who had longer amounts of time. We can't drink successfully and we are alcoholics. All we have is this moment and we have to take action to remain happy, joyous and free.

I stick around the 'Old Timers' in meetings and outside of the rooms. I love them. They helped to save my life and they continue to show me a better way to live. While they may pick on me once in awhile, it's the easier and softer way to live my life now.

Couch