Jokes & Humor - Math Jokes

Well, it looks like this thread is dead...

OK, one last limerick:

There once was a fencer named Fisk,
Whose lunge was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action,
The Fitzgerald Contration,
Reduced his rapier to a disk.

i sit in bewildered awe

Dad sent me these:

Top ten excuses for not doing homework:
I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
Isaac Newton's birthday.
I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach
it.
I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it
converged.
I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.

I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the
square root of negative one.
I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest
of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this
morning I couldn't find it.

Dad sent me these:

Your dad is a genius!

The 4D dog one still confuzes me(so what else is new) I can't even comprehend it

Dad, check out your post #. haha :D

ok so what exactly is so bewildering about a kleins bottle...i looked up some pictures but i dont get it???????????????????

ok so what exactly is so bewildering about a kleins bottle...i looked up some pictures but i dont get it???????????????????

From a topological standpoint, a Klein bottle has no inside. What you see on the web pages is only a 3D representation. A actual Klein Bottle cannot exist in three dimensions. Beyond that, we need someone with more math skills than I to explain it.

My math curriculum was for Mechanical Engineering. We didn't get in to topology.

Engineers have no trouble distinguishing a coffee cup from a donut!

The 4D dog one still confuzes me(so what else is new) I can't even comprehend it

Dad, check out your post #. haha :D

Hahaha! #54. Too cooool!

Yeah, I'm still not clear on the 4D dog thing...I need to take more math classes.... :eek:

ChanMan: As dad... ok Eubi was saying... I'll try to make it somewhat comprehensible (ooo, college word) First you need to know about a Möbius Strip. It's a strip where you can run a finger on te outside and you will be able to touch all sides, w/o lifting p your finger. The strip only has 1 side, top... or bottom if you will. Knowing that, look at a regular bottle. It has an inside, and an outside. Now look at the Klein Bottle. You can run you finger around the whole thing and only touch 1 side and also you'll never touch an edge. So technically, there's no inside... only an outside. A Klein Bottle is like a Möbius strip, but in a bottle form. I hope this has helped ;)

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

A: Elephant Rhinoceros Cosine Theata


A: ElifIknow!

A: ElifIknow!

lmao now thats funny

ohh and thanks for lowdown on the kleins bottle...I am familer with mobius strips and now that i look at a kleins bottle i can see what your talking about.

Is that Klein Bottle half full or half empty?

By the way, good Klein Bottle explanation Cloud!

Not really math jokes, but this late in the thread I figure standards are low.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
-------------------

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man +smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC
-----------------

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

IMHO you may well have just raised them:)

For those of you who still don't get the Klein bottle concept, here's a website:

http://plus.maths.org/issue26/features/mathart/index-gifd.html

For those of you who still don't get the Klein bottle concept, here's a website:

http://plus.maths.org/issue26/features/mathart/index-gifd.html


wow i was already starting to understandthe concept but that is one awsome webpage. I feel smarter!

Not likely. Google probably just has the answer cached. They may claim they calculated it, but I seriously doubt they actually multiply 6 x 9 to get 42 when you make that query.

Someone in the math department has a hilarious comic about mobius strips. I wish I could find a copy online, but I may have to swipe it and scan it.

actuly just think about it, it HAS TO calculate it because that can be done with a simple software, or somthing like that and the computer is built to do that kind of thing, but imagine trying to have it all cached on a server, i dont know how many siginificant fiures it works up till but there are so many trillions of combinations that you may aswell say it is an infinite number of combinations.

say it worked up to only 1 trillion and with decimal places acurate to 1 trillionth. so for every 1 you go up theres 1 trillion combinations, for 1 trillion theres 1 trillion trillion combinations, if you add 2 numbers you have 1 trillion trillion trillion trillion combinations but you can add more then 2 numbers, you can subtract you can multiply and divide, theres trig functions on it, wouldnt suprise me if theres a lot of other functions. so as you can see it would be imposible to have the answers cached! i bet theres easily enough combinations that if i had used all the charcters in this post to write trillion trillion trillion etc there would be more combinations then that given the numbers i mentioned earlyer because there are so many much you can do with those numbers.

EDIT just checked google and they allow numbers that are like 2*10 the power 213 didnt check any higher but im sure you can apreciate that, that number dwarfs 1 trillion, although because there must be some limit tot he charcters you can tpye is, the number of possibilite is finite, it is still uncomprhendibly huge!