This is not a joke, I did not know where else to put this.
Last year during the superbowl, I heard on the news that some wife was murdered by her husband for disturbing him during the game. Seriously.
So, let me help you.
Wives, do not nag hubby during the superbowl. If you discover that he sprinkled when he tinkled and didn't wipe the seatie be a sweetie and let it slide -until the day after the supebowl.
If you discover that he tracked mud onto your white carpet, let it go. Don't mention it until the day after.
Instead, enjoy the superbowl with him. Make him something yummy -something cheesey. Men love cheesey dishes. For example: Polish sausage with chili and cheese toppings (make a large pot of chili) or Bean and Cheese enchiladeas or cheesey dip.
Also, get a bucket and fill it with ice and beer. Put it next to the couch. Last of all, wear some sexy sports gear and have fun!
Sincerely,
The commission for better marriages
bsyptak
01-28-05, 12:59 PM
Sadly and Pathetically, Super Bowl Sunday has a higher incidence of domestic violence than any other day of the year. When will people recognize it's just a business.
DriveBy
01-28-05, 01:56 PM
Sadly and Pathetically, Super Bowl Sunday has a higher incidence of domestic violence than any other day of the year. When will people recognize it's just a business.
That gets said a lot, but statistics don't back that up. It's just like the claim that there are more suicides during the holidays - also not proven.
Here's a good read about that: http://www.snopes.com/crime/statistics/superbowl.asp
eubi
01-28-05, 03:51 PM
What?
Stupor Bowl?
Again?
hi565
01-28-05, 04:08 PM
Today, at my school the son of the owner of the patriots, was at our school speaking. It was funny because at the end it showed this clip of the owner his son and the owners wive all jumping and all happy and i was like hey i know that guy :D
LordOpie
01-28-05, 04:13 PM
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice.
OMG! It was a bad joke, don't call the police! :)
arboc!
01-28-05, 04:46 PM
good call if my woman messed with me during the super bowl id slap 'er and say "***** get in line god DAMNIT!" :eek:
hi565
01-28-05, 04:57 PM
JEBUS CHRIBUS we all need to breath! :D
lupowolf
01-31-05, 10:59 AM
I'm almost 40, and I'm a guy. That said, I have a couple of points to make:
First of all... all of you cro-magnons who joke about women getting beaten or killed need to grow some brains. What stupid ass of a guy would ever joke about that? Ever talked to a woman who's been beaten by her husband? It's not funny. I would love to see how some of you idiots would feel if you got the crap beaten out of you for interruping a stupid TV show?
Second... IT'S A TV SHOW!!! IT'S JUST A GAME!! If TV is more important than your wife, you have a lot of growing up to do. Pay more attention to your wife and be a real man, and I'll bet that you'll find she's much more receptive to you.
To the people who laugh at this stuff: I feel sorry for you, but I really feel sorry for the women who married you.
CRUM
01-31-05, 12:11 PM
Whatever you do Gladys, please don't go into labor. Wait til Monday, okay?
DriveBy
01-31-05, 01:57 PM
And to the fool who disputed the statistics: I have family members in law enforcement, and the statistics (and police experience) backs it up: there is an increase in domestic violence on SuperBowl Sunday.
Idiots. I feel sorry for you, but I really feel sorry for the women who married you.
Fool? That makes me wonder why I'm bothering to respond, but here goes anyway:
First off, I didn't say anything to condone any kind of violence. I simply responded to the claim that "Super Bowl Sunday has a higher incidence of domestic violence than any other day of the year."
Second, I can't speak for your family members in law enforcement - maybe in their area they do get more calls. In that post I simply linked to an urban legend debunking site, and now I'm linking to a couple of articles from more reputable agencies:
Stats agency at George Mason University:
http://www.stats.org/record.jsp?type=news&ID=77
EndAbuse.org, a site sponsored by the Family Violence Prevention Fund:
http://endabuse.org/programs/display.php3?DocID=262
Of course, the tone of your post leads me to believe that you won't bother to read either link. That's fine, I don't have a problem with that.
However, there was absolutely no need for the personal attack, and although I agree with the sentiment behind the post, you pretty much lost all credibility with that. If you want people to actually listen to your opinion, calling them fools and idiots doesn't help much.
Again, I'm still not advocating any kind of violence, nor am I saying anything about your "family members in law enforcement." I could also quote some cop friends and my Dad (former cop) that would disagree with yours, but that doesn't really help the argument as much as trying to quote actual studies. You can read them or not, but I'm not going to be insulting you either way. I would appreciate the same, but probably won't get it. :rolleyes:
lupowolf
01-31-05, 02:21 PM
I apologize for having insulted you... but I do not apologize for what I said about the others. Laughing at domestic violence is immature and ignorant, and those people are miscreants, pure and simple. You are obviously not one of them, and I will be glad to change my post (changed). It really bothers me that people find these things "funny".
And my father, too, is a former police officer (chief). I read your links, and despite what they say, his experience and others' say differently. For some reason, any idiot who assaults his significant other will always find a stupid reason to do it again. It could be the Super Bowl, food, whatever.
To the original poster: make your own damn food. Are your hands broken?
DriveBy
01-31-05, 02:24 PM
For some reason, any idiot who assaults his significant other will always find a stupid reason to do it again.
On that we agree.
HereNT
01-31-05, 02:27 PM
What?
Stupor Bowl?
Again?
Yup. Next Saturday. Stops are on the Minneapolis Bike Messenger Association's site.
Stacey
01-31-05, 08:01 PM
Wives, do not nag hubby during the superbowl. If you discover that he sprinkled when he tinkled and didn't wipe the seatie be a sweetie and let it slide -until the day after the supebowl.
Sisters, that sombiotch wizzes on the seat and dosen't wipe it off, cap his balls with a 9 so he'll have to sit to piss from now on.
That will learn him!
Oh and for spite, when he's all healed up, just raise you ass a foot or so when you're peeing... get it all over the seat and let HIM sit in it. It's all good :D
Be Ready
02-01-05, 03:33 PM
I apologize for having insulted you... but I do not apologize for what I said about the others. Laughing at domestic violence is immature and ignorant, and those people are miscreants, pure and simple. You are obviously not one of them, and I will be glad to change my post (changed). It really bothers me that people find these things "funny".
And my father, too, is a former police officer (chief). I read your links, and despite what they say, his experience and others' say differently. For some reason, any idiot who assaults his significant other will always find a stupid reason to do it again. It could be the Super Bowl, food, whatever.
To the original poster: make your own damn food. Are your hands broken?
No, actually I take pleasure in making the superbowl nice for my husband. I realize it is important to him. He would gladly make his own food, but I like to show him love in that way. I've learned to put his needs first and he learned to put my needs first and that has made our relationship very strong. That was the premise of my original post -to consider each others needs. You see, many times, husbands and wives fail to address each others needs. My husband has never hit me in all the 7 + years we have been together-thank God. But I listen to and read the news and I realize that there is a problem.
I really admire your original post. I feel the same way, too. Makes me feel GOOD to know that there are truely some real men out there. It was something we needed to talk about, as you can see there are alot of people who are not sensitive to the matter.
Also, let me apologize again for posting this in the wrong area. I'm still relatively new to this site.
CRUM
02-01-05, 05:15 PM
My wife is actually more of a football nut than I am. I am a die hard Pats fan. She is a die hard football fan. Life is defintiely put on hold on SuperBowl Sunday, per her instructions.
CRUM
02-01-05, 05:18 PM
Also, let me apologize again for posting this in the wrong area. I'm still relatively new to this site.
No apology needed. Most of the people posting here in the jokes section have put their serious side away for the moment.