Classic & Vintage - Funny crash stories?

I'm not talking about crashes where you or anyone else gets hurt, those aren't funny. I mean the ones where noone is hurt, but immediately after, you just KNOW it was hilarious, even if you couldn't actually see it, if it happened to you. :D ;) This morning, I was going out for my first test ride on the Miele, which I bought as a frame and built up. Outside of my basement door, there's a patch of cement, then a stretch of grass, then a paved parking lot, owned by a church on my block. I pushed it to the edge of the grass, mounted and started pedaling, and almost immediately went over the bars, and the stem twisted pretty far, making me think I might have died but didn't know it yet. ;) I landed in the grass, which was a soft muddy composition, so I wasn't hurt at all, except for my pride, and since I was 90% sure noone saw it, I had myself a good laugh. :D It seems the adjuster screws on the back dropouts, weren't actually adjusted at all, so even though my rear wheel was clamped in right, as soon as I put any weight on it, the rear wheel got pretty discombobulated, and went against the chainstay pretty firmly, resulting in me saying hello to the ground. :lol: I got a little paranoid of those screws, and just removed them, since I can't imagine me needing to adjust anything there anyways. ;) So share your funny crash stories, I'm pretty sure someone has me beat. :D

I was out in the lanes near Manchester Airport on the way back from a day ride and being a lover of planes I turned my head round to watch a plane take off.

I had my saddle height higher then and the road was cambered slightly. The bike began to lean to the left and I suddenly found myself falling with nowhere to put my foot down.

I ended up sitting in a puddle full of brambles with my concerned partner rushing back to help me while I sat there laughing my head off.

Poor guy thought I was laughing at him and it took some convincing to make him realise I was laughing at myself lol.

Good job it was a fairly hot day and I was wearing shorts, soon dried off:)

1986, first set of clipless (white Look) pedals just installed on my C-dale: "Wonder how hard you can pull up on them without pulling out?" Wheelie followed by me on my back on the driveway, feet still firmly attached to pedals: "Pretty damn hard, I guess!"

About .4 miles from where I am sitting right now I ran off the road, flipped in the air and crashed into a bunch of bushes and plants at the side of the road. It was about 1976, I could drive but was riding my bike on a very early and warm summer morning down a long striaght two lane road. A girl in my class big sister let her dog out the front door, maybe 30 yards away I guess, real close, she had one of those real thin gauze like shirts on, and that was all. She had to have known, and she could have killed me, but it would have been ok. My bike and I were both fine, but I will never forget...

Three of us were riding to Santa Barbara one morning on a two lane country road. All of us at the same time spotted a small store and instinctively headed for it. All of us went down in the road running into each other. There was nothing else or a soul around.

Of course, crashes at speed are no laughing matter. But slow, or no, speed ones can be. It's been 40 years, thank goodness, and I only did it twice, but pulling up to a stop and forgetting to loosen a toe strap can be amusing. I leave them looser now. :)

I was in a group ride going about 30 mph on a slight downhill run when I tapped the rear wheel of the rider in front of me. Immediately my bike started to wobble & I got to shakin', fearing the worst. At that point, my right foot popped out of the Look Pedal & the tip of my toe headed right into the spokes of my rear wheel as I started to go down :eek: When, all of a sudden, my bike jumped back up & righted itself. Miraculously, I kept on rolling like nothing had ever happened. At that point, the rider behind me pulls alongside me & says: "that's a good one, you gotta show it to the pro's".

Had I gone down, it would have been a serious fall. No tailgating... :(

It's been 40 years, thank goodness, and I only did it twice, but pulling up to a stop and forgetting to loosen a toe strap can be amusing. I leave them looser now. :)

Knock on wood, rootboy, that's the only time I've gone down. Rolling up to a stop light & not getting my foot out of the toe straps fast enough. Never did get along w/ those things & was completely thrilled when clipless pedals came upon the scene...

Decades ago I pulled up to a stoplight on a wicked windy day. Before I could put a foot down a gust of wind knocked me over.

This past year I was climbing Cadillac Mt. in Acadia Natl Park on the Masi, also a windy day. Near the top I was going slowly into a crosswind and being passed by a gaggle of Corvettes out on a club ride. I started wobbling so I ran off the pavement and tried to stop. I put my right foot down but the ground was soft brush falling away down the slope, so over I went. I went down in soft brush, dropping several feet below the road surface with my feet and the bike up in the air and the ground too soft for me to maneuver. Folks from the nearest car saw me go over, stopped and came over to see if I was okay. They helped me up by taking the bike off my feet. The bike and I were unharmed.

All my crashes except one were stopped or going slowly, Doggone SPD's. Sometimes I deserve to feel stupid.

1997 MBAA state finals at Sunrise ski resort in Arizona. Lap 2 of 2 halfway up the ski mountain, tired as heck on a short steep climb, legs quite working, fell over and laid there for about 5 minutes before I could unclip and get back on the bike. I finished but I don't think I've ever been so exhausted.

First trip to the trails, on my new Specialized P-1 all mountain(not dirt jumper) I am riding along killing all the climbs and generally feeling like a badass, when out of the blue on a flat straight section of path through some trees, WHAM. My hips go flying into the back of the stem, I start to go over, but the bike stops and hovers about 45* (back wheel in the air) It stays there for a second, then a slow motion lean to the right. I hit the ground already laughing. only a slight sharp pain on my lower abdomen which faded soon after. I looked and looked, and never found what caused the endo. Weirdness.,,,,BD

My youngest was riding on the back pegs of his brothers BMX. :giver:

From the window I see them at speed heading down the trail.

-BUMP-

He slips off the pegs and lands on the rear wheel :eek:

His shorts are sucked under the brake bridge :eek::eek::eek: and they fall over.

I thought his jewels were ripped from their foundation :cry:

Lucky boy :D !!

The only loss was the skin on both cheeks from landing on the tire.

There are funny crash stories?

Mine was.
There are funny crash stories?

Mine was funny too, I'd love to have seen it, and known there was no pain involved. :D It made me remember Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, where the full-grown guy keeps trying to ride an oversized tricycle, and keeps falling over. :lol:

Funny..at the time no....Now, yes! Everyone is fine, my son knows not to ride on someone elses pegs and I'm hoping the lesson learned applies to other aspects of his life. We still laugh about it at dinner table. So ya, a crash can be funny.

So I was a kid riding my big bro's english racer, it was way too big and I was not that good with hand brakes having riden a bike with coaster brakes most of the time. I turned a corner and spotted a girl I had a mad crush on, sped up intending to screech to a skidding halt right in front of her and show off my biking prowess. Well I grabbed a hand full of front brake and hardly any rear and flipped right over the handlebars. Time slowed to a crawl and all I could think of was how I was going to ruin my summer by busting an arm or leg, man this was gonna hurt. Well I sailed over the bars, did a somersault rolling over my shoulder and back and popped up on both legs unscathed. I looked back to see my bike wobbling but still barely coasting towards me and I grabbed it and stood there with a goofy grin on my face. She looked at me, mouth agape, then said "You're really weird" and walked off.

So I was a kid riding my big bro's english racer, it was way to big and I was not that good with hand brakes having riden a bike with coaster brakes most of the time. I turned a corner and spotted a girl I had a mad crush on, sped up intending to screech to a skidding halt right in front of her and show off my biking prowess. Well I grabbed a hand full of front brake and hardly any rear and flipped right over the handlebars. Time slowed to a crawl and all I could think of was how I was going to ruin my summer by busting an arm or leg, man this was gonna hurt. Well I sailed over the bars, did a somersault rolling over my shoulder and back and popped up on both legs unscathed. I looked back to see my bike wobbling but still barely coasting towards me and I grabbed it and stood there with a goofy grin on my face. She looked at me, mouth agape, then said "You're really weird" and walked off. :lol: :D :lol: You win. That's just too weird to make up, so it HAS to be true. :p :D ;)

One of my first rides with clipless on a mtb, I fell over after running out of steam on a steep hill and fell over and proceeded to slide down hill in slow motion....
As a teenager was trying to talk to a pretty girl and rolled into a curb pitching over the bars-unhurt but no phone# either :D
Doing my paper route (remember when kids did those?) my simplex derailleur snapped off and went through the spokes casing me to flip and land first on my front bag, then on the rear one and slide totally unhurt. Amazing considering how fast I was going.

Upon getting my Legnano Gran Permio II (http://www.mytenspeeds.com/My_TenSpeeds_1/Feature_Bicycles/Feature_Bicycles_Itlay/Legnano_Gran_Premio_II/Legnano_GP_II_1_Start.htm) road ready for its test ride, I jumped on the bike in the back lane. Pushing on the pedal created two results...

The bike went forward and the stem/handlebar assembly swung to the right...

http://www.mytenspeeds.com/My_TenSpeeds_1/Bicycles_Table/Italian_Bicycles/Legnano_Bicycles/Legnano_GP_II/Legnano_GPII_%20Build_NR/Leg_GPII_%20Build_NR_HandleBars_1.jpg

...causing me to loose control at 1 mph. Needless to say, I was clipped in and went down like a falling turd. No harm done to me or the bike but my buddy, literally, had a urine accident, literally, which I (pardon the pun) spotted immediately:-) That, of course, added even more humor to the situation and created one more vintage bicycle story to tell.

When I was a kid, about 7, I went to live with my grandparents on their farm in eastern Oregon. I had one of those banana seat bikes, some cheap department store thing. One of our neighbors had one of those tall sissy bars that you put on the back to hold up the seat. Anyway, my grandma told me to go out to the pasture to get my grandpa and my dad and tell them that it was time to eat dinner. So I thought that I'd ride that bike out across the pasture.

To help manage the feeding of his cattle, my grandpa had a single electric barbed wire that he would pivot on a single fence post and run across the field to partition off parts of the field that he wanted to keep the cattle out of.

So I'm riding across the field and I see this single electric barbed wire coming up and, genius that I am, I'm thinking that my bike and I can easily fit underneath this wire. When I got close to the wire I just ducked and slipped right under, forgetting that I have this tall sissy bar on the back. The sissy bar caught on that wire and back flipped me over the wire. As I was coming down my neck got caught on the barbed wire and a couple of the barbs did their job and sliced my neck, although not very deep. To make matters worse, in the chaos of the situation as I stood up I and was trying to steady myself I reached out and grabbed the electric wire. The shock knocked me on my a$$.

I went running back to the house bawling my eyes out and my grandma patched up my neck. I'll never forget that event.

Riding home after a rainy morning...roads looked like all was good. Hadn't rained in several hours.

Taking the turn at the busiest intersection in our small town (one of two street lights) and BOOM! I'm on the ground sliding towards a car waiting to go....I sit up and look into the scared face of a guy I graduated with (20 years ago). He looks and says..."Jason?" I just reply, "Hey Chris, long time no see."

As I move to the side of the road, here comes a carload of my current students (did I mention that I am a high school teacher?) half laughing, half concerned..."Are you alright Mr. Welch?!??"

Needless to say, it was all over town before I even got home to the messages....

When I was a kid, about 7, I went to live with my grandparents on their farm in eastern Oregon. I had one of those banana seat bikes, some cheap department store thing. One of our neighbors had one of those tall sissy bars that you put on the back to hold up the seat. Anyway, my grandma told me to go out to the pasture to get my grandpa and my dad and tell them that it was time to eat dinner. So I thought that I'd ride that bike out across the pasture.

To help manage the feeding of his cattle, my grandpa had a single electric barbed wire that he would pivot on a single fence post and run across the field to partition off parts of the field that he wanted to keep the cattle out of.

So I'm riding across the field and I see this single electric barbed wire coming up and, genius that I am, I'm thinking that my bike and I can easily fit underneath this wire. When I got close to the wire I just ducked and slipped right under, forgetting that I have this tall sissy bar on the back. The sissy bar caught on that wire and back flipped me over the wire. As I was coming down my neck got caught on the barbed wire and a couple of the barbs did their job and sliced my neck, although not very deep. To make matters worse, in the chaos of the situation as I stood up I and was trying to steady myself I reached out and grabbed the electric wire. The shock knocked me on my a$$.

I went running back to the house bawling my eyes out and my grandma patched up my neck. I'll never forget that event. Oh geeze, I've encountered those electric fences before too, but on a minibike, when I was around 12, and once on a horse, when I was around 10. ;) They don't really HURT you (unless you catch a barb, like you did), but they definitely wake you up good, LOL. :lol: :D

A friend was having a BBQ, so I biked over to her house. I arrive at a group of several people standing on the sidewalk. My plan was to slowly roll up and hop the curb before dismounting inside a gap in the small crowd. As I am about to lift the front wheel, something catches my attention. I neglect to jump the curb and with my feet strapped to the pedals and a tight grip on the bars, I proceed to perform a very slow and elegant and unexpected front flip/somersault coming to a gentle landing on my back while holding the upside-down bike directly above me. Those in attendance cheered with delight.

I was on the trail on a ride on my Tommasini, and was waiting for a call from my good friend and forum member, due to bike that I was facilitating for him! The call came in, I slowed practically to a stop, and made the stupid mistake of answering the phone with my left hand, and then the second stupid mistake that I made was to forget that I had straps on! Well, I tried to plant my right foot down, and there I go to the grassy/leafy/dirt side of the trail! I stopped the fall with my forearm and side, but neither the Tomassini nor the phone hit the ground! I got up and continued the conversation! The only one that saw was my cycling buddy, and my friend that had heard the fall on the phone. My cycling buddy got closed and asked if I had fallen, I said no, and that thats how I get down to spit! :-) We then continued our ride...no harm done to my Tommasini! I did bruise and hurt my forearm, but it eventually went away within a few days!

Flash

I remembered another one. Years ago I was biking to work in Chicago, going north on Damen Ave and getting ready to make a left turn onto Milwaukee headed NW. I was riding a brakeless fixed gear. Somehow, my right pant leg came unrolled and went right into the chain. I knew it on the first half turn, but my inseam was already tearing. Remember, I didn't have brakes on this bike. I threw myself into a skid and eventually got to a point where I could get my feet out of the pedals which is right when the wheels and crank started turning again. That is when my pant leg tore all the way up to the inner thigh and when I immediately fell down in the middle of the road. People on the sidewalk quickly ran over to help, but seemed irritated to find me on the ground laughing while struggling to get my other foot out of the pedels and get my pants out tof the chain. I got up, tucked my torn pant leg into my sock and finished the ride to work. Once at work, I ran to the wood shop, grabbed some duct tape and patched my inseam together before jumping into a truck to for the day's big delivery and installation.

The moral of the story? Never ride fixed without brakes. (that bike still doesn't have brakes)

Mountain biking with Nelli my daughter...
dad goes to cross the muddy puddle ahead...
"it's not that deep...see!"
well it was less then hub deep...except for one spot that was wheel deep!
i dove in face forward.....
nelli could not stop laughing, me either except that it was 40 degrees out.

I was 13 or so, visiting Berkeley springs wv

i had a Superbad bmx torker with flite cranks,
and these cool LRP pedal cages, (resembles a woodsaw blade)

minding my own business some local stupid kid comes flying around the corner and crashes right into me,
the pedal took a crocodile bite into my calf, the scars are still there....

Back in '84 I went to Norway and came back with a pair of wooden clogs that I loved. I wore them around when I didn't feel like lacing up shoes. I was riding my bike with them on one day doing about 20mph as we braked hard because of an oncoming train when a clog flew off my foot and somehow got right between the spokes. It launched me like a trebuchet clean over another kid on a bike. To this day I can clearly remember the slow motion view of me traveling over him and the look on his face as he looked up at me.

Went out for a winter ride this past Sunday after a freezing rain storm and all the parking lots were solid ice. Figured me and my riding buddy would have some fun in one with no car tire tracks yet. We desided to see who could go farther without putting a foot down when locking up the front brake and skidding.. Well 2nd round I didn't realize there was a small hole in a parking spot hit it and went down. The lot seemed flat but as I laid there trying to get back up I started sliding towards the road ended up sliding backwards across the whole lot probably 150-200 feet before coming to a rest in the road. No harm to me or bike just a good laugh before continuing the ride.

NAHBS in Richmond, we take a "tour" ride on Saturday afternoon. I'm with tarwheel, Amani576 and the Richmond "hosts." There is a lot of stop and go, the locals are on flat pedals, and the three of us are on clipless. Sooner or later, it had to happen. We climb to a stop sign on a cobblestone street, and in front of us, a hipster is doing a perfect stand, waiting for traffic. I fail to unclip, fall over on Amani576, who also failed to unclip, C&V dominoes.

The next year, NAHBS in Austin, C&V ride on Saturday morning. I decide to wear Primal Kit that is awesome if you're not old. We're almost done, and we fill the lane next to a bus, feeling good about ourselves, our bikes, and being able to take lanes in Austin like we own the place. The light goes red, we all stop, and I fall over on Scooper.

well - i did get hurt (concussion) but it was still funny
was working on a bike and was looking down to see what was up with the shifting issue
and a car was parked right off the driveway where there is never anyone parked
WHAM! no helmet - head right into the back of my FATHER'S SUV
almost a knock out - made the 10 count wobbled inside and then...
got ready and went to coach my dtrs soccer game
(we lost - not because of concussed coaching - we were just weak in the backfield that year)
anyway - i went riding the next morning and then went to work
i finally realized though that i wasnt really feeling right
had a sorta 'stoned' feeling - but yet i had not inhaled ala bill clinton
quick trip to the ER revealed a concussion
anyway - everyone still laughs about it - especially me
btw - the bike was fine - whew...

I actually LOL'd at this one.


NAHBS in Richmond, we take a "tour" ride on Saturday afternoon. I'm with tarwheel, Amani576 and the Richmond "hosts." There is a lot of stop and go, the locals are on flat pedals, and the three of us are on clipless. Sooner or later, it had to happen. We climb to a stop sign on a cobblestone street, and in front of us, a hipster is doing a perfect stand, waiting for traffic. I fail to unclip, fall over on Amani576, who also failed to unclip, C&V dominoes.

The next year, NAHBS in Austin, C&V ride on Saturday morning. I decide to wear Primal Kit that is awesome if you're not old. We're almost done, and we fill the lane next to a bus, feeling good about ourselves, our bikes, and being able to take lanes in Austin like we own the place. The light goes red, we all stop, and I fall over on Scooper.

Of course, crashes at speed are no laughing matter. But slow, or no, speed ones can be. It's been 40 years, thank goodness, and I only did it twice, but pulling up to a stop and forgetting to loosen a toe strap can be amusing. I leave them looser now. :)

I use half-toe clips on a couple of my bikes, but most don't have any foot retention. I went through a clipless pedal phase, but have concluded that I *hate* them, so the only bike I "ride" that has them is the one I use for computrainer classes. The folks on club rides are always amazed when they realize I'm riding a bike that doesn't have SPD,s or clips of any sort.

I didn't fall, but this is kinda funny. I was riding real easy with a friend on a small uphill when a rat comes running across the road. The rat decides to jump through my front wheel. The spokes toss it about eight feet in the air and here's where everything seems to go in slow-motion. I'm looking at this rat coming down. It's tail is spinning like a helicopter's rotor and it lands on my right thigh. So, I'm trying to shake it off and it's hanging on for dear life. All the while, I'm hearing my friend yelling: Holy *****, Holy *****, repeatedly. I finally get the rat off of my leg, but it ended up scratching me. So, a call to a doctor friend resulted in a trip to the ER for a tetanus shot.

funny near miss?

my 1st day commuting I get on the bike and I'm so concentrated on my feet and gears that I'm looking down on them as I roll out in my condo parking lot. with practically no time to spare I finally look up to see my neighbor's long ass pickup bed parked right in front of me. I dodge it / stop OK, but another second or two and I would have done a face plant on his rear quarter panel and who knows what damage to my face and groin could have occured, not to mention the extreme laugh factor if anyoen had seen me do it.

Mid 70s. Sacramento, Ca. In order to get from the city into Old Sacramento, one had to go through an underpass of I 5. It was dark in there. As I started downslope, at a good clip, a group of about a dozen appeared from the other direction, also at a good clip. Two of us met shoulder to shoulder and went flying. I don't believe anyone else went down. I had a boom box on my rack, which suffered no damage, nor did the bike or myself.

I didn't fall, but this is kinda funny. I was riding real easy with a friend on a small uphill when a rat comes running across the road. The rat decides to jump through my front wheel. The spokes toss it about eight feet in the air and here's where everything seems to go in slow-motion. I'm looking at this rat coming down. It's tail is spinning like a helicopter's rotor and it lands on my right thigh. So, I'm trying to shake it off and it's hanging on for dear life. All the while, I'm hearing my friend yelling: Holy *****, Holy *****, repeatedly. I finally get the rat off of my leg, but it ended up scratching me. So, a call to a doctor friend resulted in a trip to the ER for a tetanus shot.
Tops. Just tops.

I didn't fall, but this is kinda funny. I was riding real easy with a friend on a small uphill when a rat comes running across the road. The rat decides to jump through my front wheel. The spokes toss it about eight feet in the air and here's where everything seems to go in slow-motion. I'm looking at this rat coming down. It's tail is spinning like a helicopter's rotor and it lands on my right thigh. So, I'm trying to shake it off and it's hanging on for dear life. All the while, I'm hearing my friend yelling: Holy *****, Holy *****, repeatedly. I finally get the rat off of my leg, but it ended up scratching me. So, a call to a doctor friend resulted in a trip to the ER for a tetanus shot.
We'll give you honorary crash status for that one. :thumb: It made me laugh pretty good. :lol: :D

maybe not that funny but the end of the story has a certain resolution at least...back in the 90's I had a Raleigh alloy frame (Integnium or something like that) bike (it replaced the Gitane which I destroyed going airborne over too many speedbumps)...anyway, much of Rock Creek Park was closed to auto traffic on weekends, and I would jump the curb to go around the turnstiles and jam through for an hour or so on Sundays. On the way home I tried to slice up the little asphalt curb (maybe only 4" high and gently sloped, like I had done dozens of times before.

I wasn't going fast at all (maybe not fast enough!) but the bike slipped out and I went down. It felt like I was whipped to the ground by my ankles, and I heard as much as felt my right collar bone snap. I just lay there in the grass for a while, snarling at passers-by who stopped and offered help. Eventually I got up. The front rim was taco'd. So I stuffed my forearm in the waist band of my shorts and lifted the front of the bike with my left hand, and slogged about a mile to home.

Later, at the emergency room I was told to wear an elastic brace and be patient, even though the halves of the bone overlapped by 3cm. Unconvinced I went to an ortho doc (from the same outfit that cares for the Caps hockey team) and he said, yeah, tough luck, we don't have much luck resetting these.

So for a number of years I went around with the right shoulder of my suit and sport jackets drooping (Do you have them tailored unequally???)

Until, that is, I got a new CDale hybrid, one with REAL brakes. I was approaching an intersection (rolling downhill) on a very hot day, a decided to have a sip of water. I grabbed the bottle with my right hand and eased--just eased--on the front brake.

You guessed it. Front brake locked and me and my water bottle went rolling down the hill together, with the bike sliding along behind us.

This time I did not even bother with the E-room. But at least I can buy suits that fit my two truncated--but EQUAL--shoulders.

She looked at me, mouth agape, then said "You're really weird" and walked off.

absolutely the best story so far...the thread should end here...

Hmm... not even sure where to begin. I've had so many goofy crashes over the years. :)

"Impress The Girl"
I'm an excited 12 year old tearing up the streets on my first road bike (1985 Panasonic Team) and I come flying up my parent's street. As I approach my house, I see that my girlfriend and her friend are waiting for me on my front step. I start talking to them as I get to the mid point in the front yard and I am looking at them as I head up the driveway. In one lightning quick moment I feel myself suddenly thrusting forward... thwap. I'm on top of my father's car. Yes, I really was THAT cool. Trying to salvage your cool in front of your girlfriend wasn't really possible after a move like that. In fact, I don't even recall what happened next... likely my mind's attempt to spare me the agony of reliving it. ;-)

"My Neighbor the Toolbox"
1989... My next door neighbor was my age and I guess he was a friend even if he was a bit of a Tool at times. I was still enjoying the honeymoon period of ownership with my new '88 Panasonic DX-5000 and was obsessed with keeping it spotless and not letting just anyone ride it. Apparently, my "friend" thought that it would be funny to adjust my rear dropout alignment while I wasn't looking. That afternoon I started my ride the way I normally would... shoot down the small hill that was the family driveway, head down and around the cul-de-sac and then built up to a sprint past my house. I had done just that and glanced down at my sweet neon green Avocet computer to see I was doing 22 mph. The next pedal stroke put me into a matrix-like world of slow motion confusion. My rear wheel had shifted and stuffed itself into the lower stay which in turn caused a skid...which in turn caused me to lunge forward and go over the bars. Now, it sounds like things are about to get uglier than an episode of Honey Boo Boo but what happened next remains a bit of a mystery to me. I go over the bars but manage to land on my feet with the bike bouncing to a stop right in front of me in a vertical fashion. I'm sort of standing there bewildered by what had just happened when I hear the voice of a neighbor lady who had been laying out on her lawn sunbathing say "HO-LEE Sh$%!" Apparently she had just seen the entire thing. She asked me if I was OK and I nod that I was. She was the one who told me I literally did a flip and landed on my feet. I still have no clue how it worked out that way but I wasn't hurt at all and even the bike survived. I put a professional hit out on my friend and he's been sleeping with the fishes ever since. (Or maybe I chewed him out, called him a name and he went on to get married and live in the Chicago area.) ;-)

"The Definition of Tension"
1986... I was about to ride in my first officially organized group ride. TONI '86 or Tour Of North Iowa '86. I was 11 years old and had just gotten some Look pedals and Nike shoes with cleats for my '85 Panasonic Team. I was doing the ride with my father and the two of us rode up to the stop sign in our neighborhood. There were cars coming so I decide to do a track stand and wait them out. I was actually pretty good at doing them but of course this was my first time in clipless pedals. Yeah, you know where I am going with this one. Mainly down. Down to the pavement. Flopped like a pancake right there next to my father AND at the very moment my across the street neighbor and several of her friends were driving in with her mother. Doh! The icing on the cake was having my dad laughing at me as I'm on the deck trying to get out of my darn pedals. Ohhhh the humility. :-)

During the old toe strap days when we would go our for a 50 miles training ride in the city without taking our foot out of the pedals(our stupid rules). My buddy and I would track stand at the lights. Some were long. We pulled up to this white VW Rabbit cabriolet (80s) and we see hair flying in mid air from both seats. We rolled up and stood there real close right next to the passenger, sweating and all. I needed to rolled back just a tad due to the lack of a grade and hit his handle bar and the both of us panic and down we go. I was about 12" form her car door and did not want to damage it. The girls were laughing at us while our feet were clipped in with me on top of my friend on the ground. It took a few to get out and up again. Cars are sitting on their horns screaming. We did it again the next day without issue. I learn that I am nervous around pretty girls.

This is not so much of a crash story but funny nonetheless...

I built up an old Trek 950 as an urban bike. When it was all finished it was just a little too small for me. I'm 6'2" and my wife is 5'4" so I thought that I'd have my wife come give it a try. As she was swinging her leg over the bike she kicked me right square in the nuts. She couldn't have aimed any better. I curled up on the garage floor and turned green.

i've got a bunch but i'll go with this one for now:

It's the summer of 1993 and I'm hitting up the local garage sales on a Saturday. At one garage sale, I buy a pair of book shelf speakers in wood cabinets. To get them home, I put each one in a plastic shopping bag and hang them from my handlebars.

As I'm riding home with the speakers, I pass by the new ice cream shop in town. There's a big crowd of kids from my high school there, sitting outside socializing and eating ice cream. The store is across the street from me, and as I'm riding along, friends of mine in the crowd call out to me. I turn to wave at them and ride straight into a street sign. I go flying over the handlebars and so do my new speakers.

I pick myself up to a soundtrack of everyone laughing at me. My face burning with embarrassment, I see one of the speakers laying in the road. I start to go grab it and nearly get run over by a car. The car honks at me and runs over the speaker instead, smashing it completely. At that point I picked up my bike and wobbled home, my classmates' laughter still ringing in my ears.

In my very short, very amateur mountain bike racing days, I was doing the Carter Mountain Challenge in Charlottesville VA, which wound through an apple orchard on top of the mountain. There were a lot of terraces and sometimes the course would descend these terraces. I came down one set of terraces and saw a photographer lined up to take pictures. I thought "this is my chance to look awesome in the newspaper!" I was careless about where I kept my center of gravity… and the next thing I knew I was going right over the bars right in front of the photographer. Now I know why he chose that spot to set up. :rolleyes:

I was riding my little Harley 883 Sportster from Colorado Springs to Carlsbad, CA and was getting sleepy after riding across the borrring Utah desert. Had just pulled off in Cedar City to gas up and was weighing stopping there for the night vs. pressing on to St. George, (they didn't have Carl's Jr. in Colorado, and I used to love their western bacon double cheeseburger.)
I pull up to a stoplight alongside a white, convertible VW Cabriolet with 4 cute SUU coeds. Just as I was thinking, "Maybe this would be a good town to crash for the night", I suddenly topple over and the young girls laughed their pretty heads off. I'd been riding so long, I stupidly forgot to put my feet down when I came to a stop. http://www.calamarichris.com/smiley/foreheadslap.gif

Turned out to be a good town to crash in, just not in the sense I meant.

So I was a kid riding my big bro's english racer, it was way too big and I was not that good with hand brakes having riden a bike with coaster brakes most of the time. I turned a corner and spotted a girl I had a mad crush on, sped up intending to screech to a skidding halt right in front of her and show off my biking prowess. Well I grabbed a hand full of front brake and hardly any rear and flipped right over the handlebars. Time slowed to a crawl and all I could think of was how I was going to ruin my summer by busting an arm or leg, man this was gonna hurt. Well I sailed over the bars, did a somersault rolling over my shoulder and back and popped up on both legs unscathed. I looked back to see my bike wobbling but still barely coasting towards me and I grabbed it and stood there with a goofy grin on my face. She looked at me, mouth agape, then said "You're really weird" and walked off.
Boy!, if that was me doing awesomely death defying stunt like that, I would have grabbed the girl into my arms and gave her a big kiss to finish it off!...then gently sit her down on the curb and slowly walk away with my bike with an even bigger grin on my face....while hearing the sighs and congratulatory whoops from all the other kids in the neighborhood...

.......I learn that I am nervous around pretty girls.

Not your fault. Pretty girls have a way of separating bike & rider. I tried to impress some girlies by performing an expert stoppie at a light, like I performed a hundred times before. This time I ended in heap of bike, rider, and soprano mocking laughter. My buddy was pulling a wheelie on the Newport Beach boardwalk when one went wrong. He ended up tearing a ligament in his knee and getting an ambulance ride home. In his immortal words, "The chickies were WHOOING me!".