Foo - Worst Country Songs Ever

Here are a few nominees. Any others?

* Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

* Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

* I Wanna Whip Your Cow

* If The Phone Don't Ring, It's me.

* My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

There is not enough room to list them all. Maybe we can make a list of the best country songs. That list would be MUCH shorter. ;)

Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!

There is not enough room to list them all. Maybe we can make a list of the best country songs. That list would be MUCH shorter. ;)

Funny! :eek:

Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!

Hank Williams Sr. also cannot be included in this list because he's awesome.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!

Except for Counrty Charly Pride, his voice is sweet. But back to the rotten ones, Achky Breaky Heart totally reaks. As well as anything by Lee Greenwood, anyone who is the heart throb of 60 year old women in red white and blue big undies is out!!

Sorry if I offend anyone, but how about all of them!!! That doesn't include Patsy Cline though!!!

Hank Williams Sr. also cannot be included in this list because he's awesome.
Agreed on both counts. I'll take Johnny Cash to block,


How's that for a trifecta?

Good country song? That'll be the day...

Good country song? That'll be the day...
The new stuff is solid CRAP. The really old stuff from the artists I mentioned is actually pretty good

Seems to me that most country music in he last 20 years or so is just old Eagles , Poco, Flying Burrito Brothers, etc. songs regurgitated. Grew up with Marty Robbins, Johnny Cash, and a few others who performed actual country music. Never was a big fan (my parents liked it), but it was a unique art form then. Can't think of any decent country song made after that era. RR hasn't fared much better in recent years, but it is better.

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RR hasn't fared much better in recent years, but it is better.

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Change that to Top 40 and the time frame to the last 20 years and I'll agree

"Put another log on the fire" by Waylon and Willie

A favorite of wives everywhere.

I like Hell Yeah!

"Put another log on the fire" by Waylon and Willie

A favorite of wives everywhere.

Wasn't that Bobby Bare?


Actually, I like Willie, though he's been known to misfire once or twice....Like that thing he did with Julio Iglesias. ACK!

There was a song in the 70's called "Kick me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life". The tune was as bad as the name would indicate.

The first music I heard over the airwaves was from an AM country station in the early fifties in Colorado. Hank Sr. Patsy, Flatt & Scruggs, etc. Of the good ones, I'd have to include Merle Haggard. If for no other reason, he was one crazy SOB. And even as a hippy, I loved his "Okie from Muskogee".

Waylon Jennings had a song that comes up now and then - Mamma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys. That one's a good to sing after a few heinies.

Here are a few nominees. Any others?



I've been keeping this one all to myself for a number of years. It's time to set it free:

"I jack-knifed when she slammed on the airbrakes of love."

Thank-you.
Thank-you very much.

Hank Sr. Patsy, Flatt & Scruggs, etc.



Argh!!!! Sacrilege!!! How dare you mention those other two in the same breath of the gods of bluegrass! :eek:

Argh!!!! Sacrilege!!! How dare you mention those other two in the same breath of the gods of bluegrass! :eek:

Hey, blame the station. They played it all. Back then, there was little if any distinction between the two types of music. Because of them, I included Blugrass in my favorites list of music later in life. And don't be knockin Hank Sr. and Patsy. They pumped out the best cry in your beer music I ever heard.

Hey, I'm not dissin' Hank & Patsy. It's just that they're not even in the same class as Lester & Earl.

It's like putting Scott Joplin & Elton John (each masters at their craft) in the same basket because they both play piano. It just don't work

My vote for the worst ever would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie", by Brooks & Dunn. Aside from being completely horrible, it got me kicked out of a diner when I was a teenager. I was high as a kite in a Waffle House, the song came on the jukebox, and I couldn't quit laughing at it's overt whack-ness. After a while, the waitress asked me and my friends to skedaddle. Ah, memories...

It just don't work

It don't work now, but it worked then.

This one stinks, but has a great title, by Those Darn Accordions - There's a Dumbass on the Mountain.

Sample here: http://www.thosedarnaccordions.com/lawnball.html

So many songs So little time

A few that are hard to beat:

"You're the reason our kids are ugly"
"You're not the best, but you're the best that I can do" (actually a really good song)
"Always marry an ugly girl"

After a while, the waitress asked me and my friends to skedaddle. Ah, memories...

Hey Pistoferson, I sure hope you don't skedaddle out of here, your a funny dude!

Thanks. Your post about Walter's beer had me laughing all morning.

My vote for the worst ever would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie", by Brooks & Dunn. Aside from being completely horrible, it got me kicked out of a diner when I was a teenager. I was high as a kite in a Waffle House, the song came on the jukebox, and I couldn't quit laughing at it's overt whack-ness. After a while, the waitress asked me and my friends to skedaddle. Ah, memories...

hehe goofy song.

get down, turn around, go to town...the boot-scoot boogie! haha

There was also this one on the radio that was like, "we'll all raise our glasses against evil forces, singing 'whiskey for my men, beer for my horses...'" and they talked about hanging bad guys in trees...a truely amazing song.

Waylon Jennings had a song that comes up now and then - Mamma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys. That one's a good to sing after a few heinies.

I think it's against the law to listen to country music and drink Heiniken. Bud, Pabst, and Lone Star are ok, though. :)

How about "I just got a new scope for my rifle, so I won't miss you anymore"

Country music these days is just horrible. It used to be all about cheating hearts, bad women, lost love,bad men, bad liquor... now iit's all sappy drippy crap about cute children, heroic firefighters, etc.

I think it's against the law to listen to country music and drink Heiniken. Bud, Pabst, and Lone Star are ok, though. :)
I think he's talking about men's heinies. ;)

hehe goofy song.

get down, turn around, go to town...the boot-scoot boogie! haha

There was also this one on the radio that was like, "we'll all raise our glasses against evil forces, singing 'whiskey for my men, beer for my horses...'" and they talked about hanging bad guys in trees...a truely amazing song.

That was a duet by Willie and Toby Keith. I listen to all genres of music and have been to easily 50-60 country music shows. I get into it more for the people that you meet at the concerts. It's all about drinking beer and having a good time. I would take an unknown county fair country concert over any other concert hands down. But that's just my opinion.

I turn the station when anything by Lonestar comes on. They suck.

The Statler Brothers. Greatest EVER.

i though wille nelson sung don't let yer kids grow... etc. ????????????

all my x's live in texas... that song... hheheh...ew

Another of my favorites by Kinky Freidman - Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and your Buns In The Bed.

I actually own a record with the worst title ever -

"I Carried ATorch For You So Long That It Burned A Great Big Hole In My Heart"

It's gotta be a Country song, but I haven't listened to it in years - if ever!

My vote for the worst ever would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie", by Brooks & Dunn. Aside from being completely horrible, it got me kicked out of a diner when I was a teenager. I was high as a kite in a Waffle House, the song came on the jukebox, and I couldn't quit laughing at it's overt whack-ness. After a while, the waitress asked me and my friends to skedaddle. Ah, memories...

The Waffle House theme song is pretty terrible too. We put in $5, with 5 plays for a dollar on the juke box, all WH theme song. We had to leave after the third time it came on, because we were getting some pretty awful stares from the locals. I imagine they probably unplugged it after the fourth play.

The Statler Brothers. Greatest EVER.


Before the 'found Jeasus' yep.

I actually own a record with the worst title ever -

"I Carried ATorch For You So Long That It Burned A Great Big Hole In My Heart"

It's gotta be a Country song, but I haven't listened to it in years - if ever!

OMG Zoogirl, that is too much fun! Who is the artist (should I use that term?) I want to look that one up. :)

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - by Big & Rich

The song sucks but the music vid is pretty funny in a weird way.

There is not enough room to list them all. Maybe we can make a list of the best country songs. That list would be MUCH shorter. ;)

Only a few lines for that list.

Attach best 'hiphop' to that list and you might get a complete page out of me :D

Only a few lines for that list.

Attach best 'hiphop' to that list and you might get a complete page out of me :D
You're one of THOSE guys, huh?

Waylon Jennings had a song that comes up now and then - Mamma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys. That one's a good to sing after a few heinies.
Who could disrespect the Balladeer?
http://img185.exs.cx/img185/7012/generallee2dq.jpg

You're one of THOSE guys, huh?

Anything loud and with tonnes of base and feel OR Jazz/blues and you got me. Country (I don't mind the stuff that is actually rock but they now call it country) and hip hop (I like the stuff that inherits its sound from blues...)...I really HATE.

I also tend to like some indie style music (read: seemlingly depressed) which represents my generation. Although, to be honest, my generation from my hometown, if you listen to the music, are a bunch of depressed, oversexed, overdrugged, hippie/lesbians/metrosexuals. :)

My Rooster Cheated on Me With Another Man

Don't know the title, but how about these lyrics?

"I was goin' to see my honeydew,
But I ran outta luck,
When my truck got stuck,
I'd a been better off if I'd just stayed at home."

How about "I'm over you so get under me?" Or one of Willie's greatest lines, "at 2 I went home with a 10 but at 10 I woke up with a 2."

BR

"Put another log on the fire" by Waylon and Willie

A favorite of wives everywhere.

That was Tompall Glaser not Willie and Waylon off the Outlaws Album

"I Get Tears in My Ears Lying on my back Crying over you"
one of the worst.

"A little bit worse than Hell", by Johnny Cash was great as was most of his stuff. Along with Jim Reeves, Willy, Slim Whitman, and Eddie Arnold. Ok so I'm older than some of you.

Joe