Jokes & Humor - This duck walks into a bar...

...gets to the counter, and says, "I'd like a beer."

The bartender is stunned. "Y-y-you're a talking duck! This is amazing!"

"Okay," the duck responds. "Can I have that beer?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." As the bartender fills the glass and hands the beer over, he asks, "So, what brings you into town?"

"I work at the construction site down the street. Doing the brickwork on the new hotel coming in. Might bring some more business for you when it opens."

"Construction?!" The bartender shakes his head, and tells the duck, "You ought to work in the circus. Could make a fortune there!"

The duck looks in confusion and asks, "Why would the circus want a bricklayer?"

This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" When the bartender tells him that they don't have any, the duck says, "Okay," and leaves.

The next night, the duck comes back, and asks again, "Do you have any grapes?"

Just like the night before, the bartender says, "No," and the duck leaves.

This repeats for a few nights. After about a week, when the duck comes asking, "Do you have any grapes?" the bartender loses patience.

"Listen, we didn't have any grapes when you came in here last week, we didn't have any grapes the night after, we didn't have any grapes last night, we don't have any grapes tonight, and we won't have any grapes tomorrow! If you come in here one more time asking if we have any grapes, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet on this counter! You got that?!"

Unfazed, the duck simply says, "Okay," and leaves.

The night after that, the duck doesn't appear in the bar. Pleased, the bartender figures that the duck won't be back.

After a couple of months, just as the bartender forgot about the duck, he returns. This time, the duck asks, "Do you have a hammer and nails?" When bartender tells him that there aren't any, the duck asks, "Do you have any grapes?"

A duck walks into a bar and says,...






"Quackouch!"