New Political 'Element' Discovered!

[rockymtn_girl]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount
of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay but
instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is
formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypocritical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it
when you see it.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
which radiates just as much energy since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.

[eubi]

Cool;

I found my Material Safety Data Sheet for Administratium:

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered at the chemistry department of California State Univerity Los Angeles. The element, tentatively named ADMINISTRATIUM, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0, However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. There 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exahange of meson like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, ADSMINSTRATIUM is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverer, a tiny amount of ADMINISTRATIUM caused on reaction to take over four days to compete, when it would normally occur in less than a second.

ADMINISTRATIUM has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it doesn't actually decay, but instead, undergoes a reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies show that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Researchers at other laboratories indicated that ADMINISTRATIUM occurrs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to acumulate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations and school districts. The element can be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.

Scientist pointed out that ADMINISTRATIUM is know to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how ADMINISTRATIUM an be controlled to prevent irreversable damage, but the results, to date, are not promising.

[MichaelW]

The way that google offers up a sponsored link to lab supplier, that's just creepy.
Who can get google to present the weirdest sponsored google link. Let the havoc commence....