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konageezer
04-14-05, 11:00 AM
Okay.

It so happened that a big gospel revival was travelling through the small towns of the prairies. The trucks rolled into one town early one morning, and preparations were begun at once for the Revival meeting at 2 o'clock. Crews put up the big tent, leaflets were posted all around town, the choir practiced, all was made ready. At the appointed hour, the gospel choir swelled, and the preacher, clad in his magnificent white suit, swept magestically into the tent, only to find the place empty, save for one wizened old farmer sitting down front.

Crestfallen, the preacher put up his hand to silence the choir, and walked down off the stage to the farmer.

"Well, old-timer," the preacher began, "Looks like it's pretty much just you and me. Do you want to bother with this, or would you rather just forget it?"

The old farmer, as was his habit, thought carefully for a few moments. "Well, you know, I'm just an old farmer," he said slowly, "but it seems to me that if I took a load of hay out to the field, and only one cow showed up, I'd surely feed her."

The preacher, touched and inspired by this earthy wisdom, leapt back up onto the stage, and launched into his best hellfire-and-damnation sermon. It was two solid hours of bible-thumping, brow-mopping fury.

When he had finished, the preacher came back down and sat by the farmer. "What did you think of that, old-timer?" he asked, still slightly breathless.

Again the farmer thought for a few moments before speaking. "Well, you know, I'm just an old farmer," he said, "but it seems to me that if I took a load of hay out to the field, and only one cow showed up, I surely wouldn't give her the whole load."

Trek Al
04-28-05, 05:57 PM
Speaking of preacher jokes;
There were three ministers and their wives who went to a denominational convention. They had to cross over a mountain range during bad weather. The car skidded on an icy patch and went over a cliff, down 1500 feet. All were killed and went to the pearly gates to meet Saint Peter.
The first couple went up to talk. St. Peter, speaking to the minister, said I'm not sure you can get in. You were very greedy and stole money from the collection plate. You even married a woman named Penny.
The next couple went up to St. Peter and he speaking to the minister again said I'm not sure about you two. He told the minister, you drank way too much of the communion wine. You liked drinking so much you even married a woman named Sherry.
The third couple held back and the mininister said to his wife, Let's not even talk to him, Fanny.

Al

eubi
04-29-05, 06:53 AM
Hahaha. Good one.

I'm sure you are aware, "fanny" means different things in the US and Australia. Joke still works, though.

Hopper
04-30-05, 07:44 AM
Keeping with the theme:

When the pope died he went up to heaven and St Peter said he was allowed to enter. God then said, "You have lived a brilliant life and no longer need to live by the rules that were imposed on you. What have you always wanted to do and remember it can be ANYTHING?"

The late pope replied, "I have always wanted to read every version of the bible ever printed."

God said, "If you are sure then go right ahead, here is a room with every version of the bible."

So the pope went into the room and started reading. He found it fascinating how with every edition back he went there were subtle changes in the words and sentances used.

Then one day God hears the late pope swearing and crying. He asked what was wrong.

The pope replied, "The original bible said celebrate."