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  1. #1
    Senior Member maldekai's Avatar
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    How would you build your bike for the apocalypse?

    If you knew that some imminent doom was about to befall earth and you were charged with the task of constructing a bicycle that would stand the test of time and a ruined earth, how would you build it? What kind of frame material would you use? What frame geometry, color, fork, wheels, ect. Would you stress carrying capacity, speed, durability, weight, or serviceability. You can only use materials and parts we have today, pre-apocalypse. We assume specialty tools are not close at hand and parts are nearly impossible to find.


  2. #2
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    I'd build a mountain bike. No suspension, airless tires. Maybe do a Nexus hub vs. a der. I'd have a trailer hookup for it. Maybe a light generator.

  3. #3
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    Probably get an Xtracycle or Kona Ute since hauling capacity would be key. Think I'd prefer that to the trailer, although I could see the case that you can always undo the trailer and haul ass on your regular bike.

    Though I have a sneaking suspicion that, in the total absence of cars, I'm not going to end up owning *fewer* bikes than I do now, let alone 1.

  4. #4
    Road Runner DougG's Avatar
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    I suggest that you read Cormac McCarthy's The Road and then decide what type of bike would help you survive in that environment: the most realistic end-of-the-world book I've ever read.

  5. #5
    Don't call me sir cmdr's Avatar
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    ^^

    Great book!
    Bit of a downer though...

    The Surly Pugsley gets my vote. The option of switching wheels if there is a derailer problem is nice. Plus you can always use car tires on it if one of yours goes.
    1969 Bob Jackson, 1989 Schwinn Paramount, 2004 Santa Cruz Blur, 2011 Specialized P-3, 2013 Salsa Colossal Ti

  6. #6
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
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    I'd nickname it "The Interceptor"

  7. #7
    Senior Member melville's Avatar
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    The bike to have post apocalypse will be a gas pipe Schwinn. Varsity, Collegiate, Cruiser, whatever.

  8. #8
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    You ride into the apocalypse with the bike you have, not the bike you wish you had.

    That said, I'd want a urbanified mountain bike with friction shifters, patches, tubes, and some tools.

  9. #9
    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmdr View Post
    ...The Surly Pugsley gets my vote. The option of switching wheels if there is a derailer problem is nice. Plus you can always use car tires on it if one of yours goes.
    w3rd.

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

  10. #10
    surly old man jgedwa's Avatar
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    I would want it to have a milkshake machine and a solar panel on the rear rack. j
    Cross Check Nexus7, IRO Mark V, Trek 620 Nexus7, Karate Monkey half fat, IRO Model 19 fixed, Amp Research B3, Surly 1x1 half fat fixed, and more...
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    SB forever

  11. #11
    ǝıd ǝʌol ʎllɐǝɹ I JeanCoutu's Avatar
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    Some mtb, unsuspensed and prefferably with ultra robust tires. Spare parts would be available in ditches, along railroad tracks, etc.

    Edit: +1 to milkshake machine. Milkshakes dominate all aspects of life.

  12. #12
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    Sturmey 3 speed with drum brakes and dynamo drum front hub. Full metal chaincase. Brooks saddle.
    Internal Gear Hub Guru
    Currently owned hubs: Sachs Pentasport, SRAM P5 Drum, Sturmey SRF5-W , Sturmey XRD3
    Previously owned hubs: Shimano Nexus 8 speed, Sturmey AW 3 speed, Shimano 3 speed coaster, SRAM S7 Drum, Sturmey XRF8 8 speed
    Tested hubs: SRAM i-Motion 9 speed, Sturmey XRD5

  13. #13
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    Full Carbon featherweight whatever. As long as we're all gonna die I could at least haul ass and have fun and go out in a blaze of catastrophically failing glory.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    I already own it. It's my beater bike.

    There's really nothing special about it but that's what I'd want in the scenerio that you propose. That way, if anything goes wrong, it would be relatively easy to find a replacement part or at least a part that will work.

  15. #15
    Senior Member m_yates's Avatar
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    I'd want a Thorn Rohloff eXp http://www.thorncycles.co.uk/rohloffexp.html, but I doubt my wife would let me spend that much on a bicycle even if the end of the world was imminent, so I'd probably just have to ride what I have.

  16. #16
    hello roadfix's Avatar
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    I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
    I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.
    How many of "these kinds" of emergencies are you expecting ?

    Could end of the world be any more vague? End of the world seems to literally translate to the earth no longer existing. I don't think any bike will help us navigate through that celestial debris field (except maybe the one I'm gonna start working on, )

    So I guess this discussion is just about surface conditions not being optimal and uncertain supply of parts. Sounds like touring and mountain biking to me.

    Don't forget the machine *** mount to fend off the anarchists and pirates.


  18. #18
    Gear Head 80vette's Avatar
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    AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.
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  19. #19
    Cascadian Nationalist
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    Quote Originally Posted by 80vette View Post
    AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.
    People don't like to think in those terms, but if civilization truly failed this is the truest answer in the thread.

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
    I already have one. Surly Long Haul Trucker in sage green, Tubus racks, with 54 liter panniers. I don't use it for touring. It's always on standby. I'm keeping this bike around just for these kinds of emergencies.
    Do you have it mounted behind glass with a "break glass in case of emergency" sign below it? Is there some sort of siren involved? Do two people simultaneously have to turn their keys to release it?

    Does it have panniers for the nuclear football?

    I'm in the market for a new bike, and I need to know these things.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by 80vette View Post
    AR-15 + 1911 = All the bikes you want.
    While a modern day 1911 with its case ejecting problem fixed I can understand.

    However an AR-15? It cannot shoot through cover and kill and in an end of the world scenario how are you gonna maintain it. The only honest answer is an AK.

  22. #22
    Elitist Troglodyte DMF's Avatar
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    The new small-caliber AK. I forget what it's called. Or an HK-93. Unless you think you need to shoot through walls.

    Or do like Omar. Body armor and a 12Ga pump.
    Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

    - Will Rogers

  23. #23
    Senior Member maldekai's Avatar
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    Oh gosh. guns have hijacked this thread. Well, let's clear up the vagueness a bit! Uh...
    The civilizations of earth were to stubborn to wean themselves of petroleum and the economies of the richest countries began to fail. Nukes went off...people died of some plague, few people left, the infrastructure left intact is crumbling, small pockets of people live in spread out clutches in fear of disease and bandits... yeah. that kind of fun stuff.

    OR if we want to get creative, we can us a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE to justify our building of bomb proof bikes and loading them with high calibre, zombie-head busting weaponry. (we assume zombies of the Max Brooks variety for they are easy to outrun on a bike!)

    so yeah. enjoy.
    -Mal

    btw-I would a a sturdy crowbar and either a 12Ga pump, or a large revolver that can be dropped in sand mud and zombie guts and still fire cleanly!

  24. #24
    Senior Member Torchy McFlux's Avatar
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    I would pay good money to watch someone try to fire a machine *** while riding a bike.
    From behind bullet-proof glass, of course.

  25. #25
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    Why do we presume everyone's going to be shooting people come the apocalypse? Isn't it just as likely that when the cars don't cut it, everyone's going to go outside on their road-warrior utility bikes, see the other people on similarly outlandish cycles and crack a smile and go for long rides in the nuclear twilight?

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