buttbybrooks

After two months of touring in New Zealand my bike is scraped (sometimes down to the metal) from one end to the other. Now I want to paint it some blotchy, ugly-ass color scheme. Bad enough a thief would be embarassed to ride it.

I was thinking of buying several colors of good enamel spray paint and having at it.

Any advice on how to do this easily and cheaply would be appreciated.

Thanks

mswantak

Yeah -- buy several cans of spray paint and have at it. If ugly is what you're after, why worry?

jim-bob

Here's two of my approaches to uglification : The spraypaint base coat + spraypaint touchup in different colors :



Or the whole can of "granite-finish" spraypaint :


Trust me, they're both pretty ugly.

BostonFixed

How about taking a poo on your bike? No one would ever touch it that way!

catatonic

I'd say PINK IT!

Hot Pink, everywhere....better yet, Pink and sky blue. Pink handlebars, sky blue stem, pink frame, sky blue hubs/spokes, pink rims, sky blue seatpost, heck even make the seat pink...this will ensure maximum ugliness, as well as assure that all but the most desparate or well....pink loving male would ever think of stealing it.

dbg

You're nasty. But I agree with ugly being a deterrent. My commuter bike has some nice components on it (dynamo hub, nexus 7 hub, lights, etc) but the old grey hardrock frame is butt ugly. I used to have a sports car that I would always try to park next to a nicer car thinking there was a better target nearby. It always seemed to work. Several times the nicer car was broken into and mine was left untouched. Like the guy in the woods who said he didn't have to outrun the bear -- just the other campers.

Scooby Snax

Jim-Bob, did the granite paint weigh the bike down?

Yeah I go for either hot pink, dusty rose or seafoam green, however the latter may attract a "Bianchi-phile".

cascade168

As (almost) always, Sheldon Brown has something pertinent:

https://sheldonbrown.org/robinhood.html

One of my favorite "ugly" bikes Sheldon knows - as I also do, from living in and around
Boston for most of my life - that "ugly" bikes and cars will more likely be there when you
want them to. Cars and bikes with "character" are more likely to be left alone. I have
seen a few stealth DuraAce jobs in Cambridge and Somerville. There is some "art" to making
it "ugly".

phidauex

I recommend using duct tape and old cut up innertubes to tie things together. Use some duct tape on the seatpost so it looks like thats all thats holding the seat up, and wrap some inner tube around your cable stops so it looks like the housings are held on by innertube. Mismatched pedals helps too, even if they are identical pedals, just different colors.

Different colors of bar tape will help as well.

duct tape on the saddle (even the back, where it won't rub on your shorts), will also give it a nicely overworked appearance.

Good luck, I like the appearance of a bike that has been ridden to death and beyond. When I see shiny bikes I wonder, "did they buy it to stroke it, or ride it?" I just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they just got started riding it to death, and that it'll look appropriate soon enough.

peace,
sam