Ronsonic 

I've seen this on a few different fora, but not here and it does belong here more than most of the others.

This was posted on Craigslist.

To all bike sellers... (Everywhere.)

PLEASE NOTE: This probably doesn't apply to you. But some of you that are selling need to have a good look.

1. Just because your bike was made in Europe doesn't mean you'vegot a winner. They made a lot of junk, too.
2. A low end bike that was $97.00 in 1976 is not magically worth $400 now.
3. Adult bikes do not have goosenecks.
4. If the chain is conspicuously rusty and kinked in the picture, nobody is going to fall for your claims of "mint condition".
5. If you get asked how many speeds it has and do not know nor care, pull your ad. Immediately.
6. Telling us that you found it in a barn is not a rationale for overpricing it.
7. Take OFF the $10 price tag from Goodwill before you take your Craigslist picture and ask $250 for it.
8. "Light and FAST!" . . . Ok, if you say so.
9. Not everything with those kooky, curvy handlebars is a race bike.
10. Neither is a race bike "improved" by flipping those curvy handlebars upside down.
11. Don't be offended if someone offers you an insulting amount that is far less than you want for your bike - they're just smarter than you.
12. Don't get ticked off if someone low-balls you when you state "make offer" in your ad. You asked for it.
13. Tires are tires and wheels are wheels. These terms are not interchangeable.
14. Breaks should be referred to as "brakes", petles or petals as "pedals".
15. Your bike was not made by Shimano, Suntour, or Campagnolo. I know you saw that name somewhere on it, but just trust me on this one.
16. Vintage implies it was worth something when it was new, otherwise it's just OLD.
17. High tensile steel - yeah, they put a sticker on the bike that says it but I wouldn't be bragging about it.
18. Go ahead and repost that 10 speed Huffy every week - no one will tire of its charm. If you're willing to endure the humiliation, we'll be there for you until you reach your target market.
19. ALL CAPS DOES NOT MAKE IT A BETTER BIKE.
20. Pictures of the LEFT side of the bike aren't worth much of anything, nobody can see the drivetrain. All things considered, perhaps you'd rather want to hide it anyway.
21. Blurry pictures add a negative symbol to your price tag.
22. If you steal someone else's photos (not the manufacturer's) from the web and use them to represent your own bike, you are absolute scum.
23. "Suitable for fixie conversion" doesn't make a *** frame any more valuable. For that matter...WHAT makes it suitable?
24. If you think your bicycle is worth a four figure sum ($x,xxx), the LEAST you could do is to spell the brand and component names correctly. (eg. Trek, not treck; Schwinn, not shwin; Campagnolo, not Campagnola; and Shimano - not shmano, shimono, or shamano)
25. Include the size of the bicycle! Measured from the center of the cranks (the big sprocket) to the top of the seat tube (before the silver or black post that holds the seat [saddle].) It needs to be in either inches or centimeters... both if you are nice.
26. NEXT, Magna, Huffy, Roadmaster, and Murray are NOT highly-respected brands. Get over it.
27. Taking a nice multispeed road bike that was posted here two days ago for a reasonable price, raping it of all good derailleur parts, and making it a single speed with a $22 Chinese bmx cog from performancebike.com does not double or triple its value or make it a "race bike" or "fixie".
28. There is no such thing as a road mountain bike.
29. Just because you are selling it for a friend doesn't make you an expert if you are not.
30. If you don't list the brand and it is unreadable in the photos, we will assume it is a ***.
31. Research the going price of your bike before posting.
32. Just because it cost a lot 10 years ago when it was brand new and you have barely ridden it, doesn't mean it is worth 50% + of new price. (see above.)
33. Just because you bought it within the past year doesn't mean someone is going to pay close to what you paid, especially if the new model years are coming out and yours is now discounted.
34. Don't use terms you do not understand - if it does not have rear suspension, it is not full suspension.
35. Spellcheck is your friend, use it.
36. Proofread - I have never seen a bike measured in feet but I've seen a lot of 26' bikes posted.
37. If it is an X-mart bike, and you just paid to have it "tuned up", you probably just wasted your money as the tune up was probably more than the bike is worth.
38. No one wants to call for basic information you should have posted or to have you send pictures.
39. Don't sell a used helmet unless you really did just buy it, otherwise it may have been crashed and is a safety hazard.
40. Chrome Schwinn Paramounts are not "rare." Desired by collectors, perhaps; but there's at least one on eBay every week, if not two.

Little Darwin

That is posted here somewhere, and even though it was started elsewhere, I believe a couple of lines were added by people here before they posted it in various areas of CL .

Straightblock

My favorites are the guys who bought a $1200 bike two years ago, added $800 in upgrades and repairs. They now have $2000 "invested" in the bike, and want to "sacrifice' for $1600.

Wulf

While I was visiting a bike shop in Okla City years ago, 2 kids came in and wanted to return a skateboard that one had bought. It had not been bought from this particular shop but no amount of convincing could persuede these two that they were in the wrong. Why not take it back to the shop where they bought it? They tried but the owner would not take it back either.

Ronsonic 

It looked like our kind of rant.

Just 'cause I feel like saying it, I am fed the f*^&^ up with every mo)($&^%&(* ad on CL and eBay mentioning the words fixed or single speed. It is just getting annoying.

NEW Brake Cable Good For Fixed or Single Speed! Vintage! Rare!