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Old 07-17-12, 12:45 PM   #1
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The Challenge: Sell my boat anchor for $500 to some poor innocent buyer.

I've heard a lot of complaining about unscrupulous Craigslist sellers who are more than a little disingenuous when it comes to marketing their bikes.

No amount or exaggeration or fabrication is beyond the pale. They will say/do ANYTHING to snag that naive first-time buyer, and some of the ruses they employ are actually quite clever: Just consider the superlatives they apply in their ads, the fictitious historical significance, the celebrity status, the gross inaccuracies, the borrowed photos, the sob stories, whatever... With them, anything goes, and they move their metal, while we sit here and struggle to sell our bikes at fair and reasonable market prices to that same audience.

I wonder: Are we that stupid? Are they really that much more "imaginative" than we?

I don't think so - but this is a marketing challenge to you all: Show those dirty flippers that we can be just as inventive as they - and (by forgetting everything our mothers told us, and by casting all of our scruples to the wind), sell my boat anchor (below) for $500 to some poor innocent buyer.

PS - The only rule in this game is to close the text of your fictitious Craigslist advert with the phrase "It would make a great fixie".

Good luck!

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Old 07-17-12, 12:48 PM   #2
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No, Auchen, I will not help you unload that boat anchor on some young unsuspecting naive trusting innocent first-time buyer. However it would make a great fixie!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:02 PM   #3
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No, Auchen, I will not help you unload that boat anchor on some young unsuspecting naive trusting innocent first-time buyer. ...!
Wassup? You got a problem wid throwin' out your scruples or sumpin?

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... However it would make a great fixie!
Dern tootin'!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:04 PM   #4
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Would the Cheerios and the other stuff in the room come with it? It would make a great fixie to ride right after breakfast.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:07 PM   #5
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this time of year is always good to claim that the bike was ridden in the Tour de France.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:10 PM   #6
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I remember there was a lister in the Milwaukee or Chicago CL that has incredibly hilarious and creative descriptions for their bikes. I picture them be the kind of salesman who could sell ice to an Eskimo.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:12 PM   #7
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"Ridden by the Blue Meanie in the Yellow Submarine movie. Honest."
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Old 07-17-12, 01:13 PM   #8
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Would the Cheerios and the other stuff in the room come with it? It would make a great fixie to ride right after breakfast.
You can promise the moon if you like. Even write out the deed.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:15 PM   #9
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That bike would make a great commuter.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:20 PM   #10
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"Ridden by the Blue Meanie in the Yellow Submarine movie. Honest."
- And it would make a great fixie!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:21 PM   #11
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That bike would make a great commuter.
- And don't forget - a great fixie too!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:22 PM   #12
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This is Raquel Welch's former bike, she used it on the set of One Million Years B.C. to get around the studio lot in a hurry. I think I have one of her fur bikini's in storage, I will throw that in for the asking price. It would make a great fixie.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:30 PM   #13
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This is Raquel Welch's former bike, she used it on the set of One Million Years B.C. to get around the studio lot in a hurry. I think I have one of her fur bikini's in storage, I will throw that in for the asking price. It would make a great fixie.
Way to go Jet!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:32 PM   #14
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RARE CUSTOM RIDDEN BY ARMSTRONG IN 1ST TDF VICTORY. SIGNED BY ARMSTRONG (have sharpie ready). COMES WITH CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY (which requires no more than word processing and printer). MINT. WAS FIXIE BEFORE SPEEDS ADDED, SO IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FIXIE.

All caps mean it's TRUE.

ABE LINCOLN'S 1ST BIKE . . . .
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Old 07-17-12, 01:34 PM   #15
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it comes with the display stand right?
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Old 07-17-12, 01:38 PM   #16
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it comes with the display stand right?
And Campagnolo stem shifters.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:50 PM   #17
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Vintage Swinn Racing Bike - FAST!!

I have a vintge Swinn bike for sale. I've seen bikes like this sell for $2000 on ebay, but I'm letting this one go for only $500 because I want to sell it quick. I used to race on this bike. It is really FAST! Would make a great fixie!
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Old 07-17-12, 01:50 PM   #18
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A variation of the testimonial approach...


"My name is Reverend Matthew B. Trustworthy. My good friend Eddy Merckx, one of the greatest cyclists of all time, road this bicycle to several Tour de France victories."




Or, how about....

"Want to meet beautiful women? Buy my bike and get out on the road. Women dig cycling."

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Old 07-17-12, 01:51 PM   #19
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Extremely rare "Java" racing bike with two tone paint scheme and limited edition rear reflector. This bike was the prototype for the Lance Armstrong 2005 "Tour de France" winning bike. It was hand made to his specifications and is a fine example of cutting edge technology. I don't want to sell this bike but have come on hard times and am willing to let it go for only $500. If for some reason you would rather avoid the hassle of changing gears this bike would make a great "fixie". It is ok to contact this seller.
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Old 07-17-12, 01:52 PM   #20
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It has curvy handle bars, like the ones they use in the Tour de France. As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.
It has little skinny tires, like the ones they use in the Tour de France. As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.
It has no front brake, like the ones they use in the Tour de France (so they can go fast. brakes just slow you down). As such, it must be a high performance, race-oriented machine.

Oh, and it would make a great fixie.
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Old 07-17-12, 02:03 PM   #21
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Extremely rare "Java" racing bike with two tone paint scheme and limited edition rear reflector. This bike was the prototype for the Lance Armstrong 2005 "Tour de France" winning bike. It was hand made to his specifications and is a fine example of cutting edge technology. I don't want to sell this bike but have come on hard times and am willing to let it go for only $500. If for some reason you would rather avoid the hassle of changing gears this bike would make a great "fixie". It is ok to contact this seller.

- And it would make a great . . . .
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Old 07-17-12, 02:04 PM   #22
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A variation of the testimonial approach...


"My name is Reverend Matthew B. Trustworthy. My good friend Eddy Merckx, one of the greatest cyclists of all time, road this very bicycle to several Tour de France victories."


....
Such honest eyes. Nice touch!
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Old 07-17-12, 02:07 PM   #23
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Attention Buyers!

Are you tired of buying products made in Taiwan? Do you want a quality bike made from a material that will last? Do you also want to help the environment and feel good about yourself by recycling rather than buying new? Here's your chance to make a difference in the world!!! This is a rare, vintage, steel bike like the kinds raced for decades and that leaves a small carbon footprint. Be part of the green revolution!

This bike will fit anyone from 5'0 to 6'4, all you have to do is raise the seat and I'll show you how! I'll even fit you to the bike when you come out and raise the seat for you...which bike shops charge $50 for!

Bike is made in America, just like the best modern bikes, and, like them, is made of steel. Steel bikes last forever, which is why they don't make them now! They want you to buy new bikes once a year, and those aluminum bikes break once a year. Steel bikes like this last forever. To buy a good made in America steel bike now you have to pay THOUSANDS of dollars, but you can get this one for MUCH LESS! Check out sites for American steel bike makers like Richard Sachs and Vanilla! They just don't make them like this any more. And more tour de france races were won on steel bikes than any other material! The bike stores don't want you to know this.

Bike comes complete with kick stand, so you don't scratch it up, color coordinated bike seat and tape so you look as good as your bike does!

Ride the trails like the real riders today! This bike is fun and ready to go, it just needs a loving owner. Whether you want to train for the big event, or just go to town this bike is PERFECT!

Must sacrifice, $500. It's worth a LOT more, but I need to get rid of it because I'm moving to Nigeria. You can even use this with a track stand, just like the pros, on days when it's raining. Oh yeah...for you crazy college kids, it makes a great fixie!

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Old 07-17-12, 02:08 PM   #24
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RARE CUSTOM RIDDEN BY ARMSTRONG ON THE MOON
Fixed it for you...
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Old 07-17-12, 02:10 PM   #25
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"I know where you live so I suggest you buy this bike" has a ring to it also.
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