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  1. #1
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    Snappy comeback needed

    So, I was riding on the roads east of town, in my neck of the woods, which also has a large contingency of "serious" riders. One of the "serious" bike shops is also located in my part of town. I was minding my own bidness, pedaling away on my Schwinn Le Tour II, t-shirt, running shoes, and non-bike shorts in tow. I understand that this wasn't a "serious" ride, even in it's day. I was going out, as the Peleton of Serious was coming in. One of the riders yells out "nice antique pampaw" (street for grandpa) followed by a contagious snickers throughout the line. I'm 48 and the bike is 35. I didn't have any comeback, because I really wasn't expecting someone to verbally blindside me like that. But, next time, I would like to have something good ready to go... any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ancient Mariner's Avatar
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    If you're 48, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. Just give them a high five (minus 4), and move on.

  3. #3
    Senior Member canyoneagle's Avatar
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    "Thanks, enjoy your ride" - just let 'em do their thing. It is hard to combat uncontained testosterone.
    Currently one bike: Singular Gryphon do-it all bike with Nuvinci N360
    Coming soon (winter project) Ciocc Designer '84 mod build
    Temporary (on loan from a buddy): 1985 Raleigh Prestige

  4. #4
    7-speed doomsday prepper ThermionicScott's Avatar
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    Just smile and wave.
    Quote Originally Posted by chandltp View Post
    There's no such thing as too far.. just lack of time
    RUSA #7498

  5. #5
    Senior Member shoota's Avatar
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    There's nothing you can say, in fact saying anything will only fuel their fire.
    2005 Cannondale six13 10s SRAM

  6. #6
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    Sounds like they may have had a testosterone overdose.

  7. #7
    one life on two wheels cobrabyte's Avatar
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    Aw, they were giggling like schoolgirls. Cute.

    I wouldn't worry about a comeback. The best you can do is not let it get under your skin. Don't let their insecurity rub off on you.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    A smile is always the most disarming response.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Bruce Enns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ancient Mariner View Post
    If you're 48, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. Just give them a high five (minus 4), and move on.
    +1, exactly! The "Entitled Generation" generally have no respect for their elders.
    Last edited by Bruce Enns; 01-26-13 at 06:49 PM.
    Brewster
    1981 Miyata 1000, 1984 Bridgestone 500, 1985 Trek 400

  10. #10
    Super Course fan redneckwes's Avatar
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    "Have a nice ride there...Lance.."
    http://bicyclenut.bravehost.com/Bicy...nt%20page.html

    The last two bikes on my list are a 50's Lenton Grand Prix and a '64 Raleigh Record.

  11. #11
    Steel Member fiataccompli's Avatar
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    almost funny! no need for any comeback. I know what I'd be thinking; what a prick! But I'd also be thinking the poor guy must have a lot of ego wrapped up in the bike between his legs & then I'd just be pleased to be me & not him, if you know what I mean. In the meantime, I probably would have only looked in the group's general direction with a sort of WTF look...

  12. #12
    billy chuck eschlwc's Avatar
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    some prefer the silent middle finger. i prefer a good solid "**** ***!"

    and it sounds good in mixed company. people appreciate it, because they don't hear it enough from a passing stranger at loud volume. you may hear a faint laugh in return from a nearby pedestrian, and that joyful sound alone might be just enough to make your whole day.
    Last edited by eschlwc; 01-26-13 at 07:25 PM.

  13. #13
    Senior Member randyjawa's Avatar
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    Just consider the source and laugh to yourself at the incredibly level of smartass stupidity.
    Learn how to find, restore and maintain vintage road bicycles at... MY "TEN SPEEDS"

  14. #14
    Can'tre Member 3alarmer's Avatar
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    I prefer insults that combine the phrase, "bite me, ..." with some aspect
    of the lycra spandex, crabon fibre, Cat 6 racer lifestyle.

    e.g. "Bite my ass, Pee Wee !! How was today's big adventure ?"

    You get the idea..............

  15. #15
    Senior Member Captain Blight's Avatar
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    "You'd need a bigger ball than Lance to ride something like this!!"

    or

    "I see it only takes half a man to ride something new like yours!!"

    or the tried and true "Go **** your mom, a******e!!"

    Depends on how bad you feel like scrappin'.
    '71 Raleigh Super Course ("Loose Change")
    '74 Raleigh Professional
    '7? VeloSolex L'Etoile rando build ("Chocolate Star")
    '77 Peugeot UE/O-8/10/9 mongrel
    '81 Trek 616
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    '92 Specialized Allez Comp
    '08 Specialized Crossroads winterbike ("Icicle the Bicycle")

  16. #16
    Senior Member JAG410's Avatar
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    Don't you have crime to fight spandex boy?

    Is that a bike like Lance's?

    Did you mistake your embrocation cream for your chamois butter?

    Do you parents know you dress like that in public?

  17. #17
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncle uncle View Post
    I was minding my own bidness, pedaling away on my Schwinn Le Tour II, t-shirt, running shoes, and non-bike shorts in tow.
    Well first of all, put your non-bike shorts on your butt instead of towing them behind.



    I have a standard response for all heckling, whether it comes from other cyclists or motorists: I wave back enthusiastically and yell, "I LOVE YOU TOO!" or "I LOVE YOU, MAN!" At that point I can tell myself that the ones who are snickering are laughing with me. I once had a carful of high school boys buzz me and start yelling out F*** YOU and stuff like that. I waved and yelled back, "I LOVE YOU!" with a big smile on my face. They all started laughing and one of them yelled back at me, "It's cool, man!"
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  18. #18
    Senior Member Giacomo 1's Avatar
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    Steel is real, poser! Have a nice day...
    Colnago Super
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    Fabio Barecci
    Miyata 1400A

    It never gets easier, you just go faster. ~ Greg LeMond

  19. #19
    26 tpi nut. sailorbenjamin's Avatar
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    Just stand on it and waste him. Leave him choking on dust and burnt rubber.
    I have spoken.

  20. #20
    26 tpi nut. sailorbenjamin's Avatar
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    Or how about;
    "Yeah, your mom thought it was cool enough."
    I have spoken.

  21. #21
    Chainstay Brake Mafia
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    "The jerk store called... they're running out of you!"

    1986 Diamondback Apex ~ 1988 Diamondback Ascent EX ~ 1989 Jamis Dakar ~ 1989 Specialized Stumpjumper Comp
    1993 Trek 8300 Composite ~ 1993 Diamondback Axis Team Titanium ~ 1995 Diamondback Apex

    Join the Chainstay Brake Mafia!

  22. #22
    Freewheel Medic pastorbobnlnh's Avatar
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    "I'LL PRAY FOR YOU!"

    People are always touched when I say this.
    Bob
    Dreaming of Summertime in NH!

    Visit my websites:
    FreeWheelSpa.com orpastorbobnlnh.com

  23. #23
    Bicycle Repair Man !!! Sixty Fiver's Avatar
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    "This rides nearly as nicely as your mom."

  24. #24
    feros ferio John E's Avatar
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    "Oh -- isn't that the carbon fork with the safety recall?"
    "Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise." -- George Stahlman
    Capo [dschaw'-poe]: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger, S/N 42624
    Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
    Bianchi: 1981 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
    Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069

  25. #25
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
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    Quote Originally Posted by shoota View Post
    There's nothing you can say, in fact saying anything will only fuel their fire.
    Theres always something you can say, but why? **** 'em dude, you'll still be riding your bike when most of them are dead or dying from steroid abuse.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

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