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Old 01-26-13, 06:23 PM   #1
uncle uncle
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Snappy comeback needed

So, I was riding on the roads east of town, in my neck of the woods, which also has a large contingency of "serious" riders. One of the "serious" bike shops is also located in my part of town. I was minding my own bidness, pedaling away on my Schwinn Le Tour II, t-shirt, running shoes, and non-bike shorts in tow. I understand that this wasn't a "serious" ride, even in it's day. I was going out, as the Peleton of Serious was coming in. One of the riders yells out "nice antique pampaw" (street for grandpa) followed by a contagious snickers throughout the line. I'm 48 and the bike is 35. I didn't have any comeback, because I really wasn't expecting someone to verbally blindside me like that. But, next time, I would like to have something good ready to go... any suggestions?
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Old 01-26-13, 06:26 PM   #2
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If you're 48, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. Just give them a high five (minus 4), and move on.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:31 PM   #3
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"Thanks, enjoy your ride" - just let 'em do their thing. It is hard to combat uncontained testosterone.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:31 PM   #4
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Just smile and wave.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:33 PM   #5
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There's nothing you can say, in fact saying anything will only fuel their fire.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:38 PM   #6
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Sounds like they may have had a testosterone overdose.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:38 PM   #7
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Aw, they were giggling like schoolgirls. Cute.

I wouldn't worry about a comeback. The best you can do is not let it get under your skin. Don't let their insecurity rub off on you.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:40 PM   #8
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A smile is always the most disarming response.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:43 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ancient Mariner View Post
If you're 48, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. Just give them a high five (minus 4), and move on.
+1, exactly! The "Entitled Generation" generally have no respect for their elders.

Last edited by Bruce Enns; 01-26-13 at 06:49 PM.
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Old 01-26-13, 06:45 PM   #10
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"Have a nice ride there...Lance.."
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Old 01-26-13, 06:55 PM   #11
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almost funny! no need for any comeback. I know what I'd be thinking; what a prick! But I'd also be thinking the poor guy must have a lot of ego wrapped up in the bike between his legs & then I'd just be pleased to be me & not him, if you know what I mean. In the meantime, I probably would have only looked in the group's general direction with a sort of WTF look...
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Old 01-26-13, 07:22 PM   #12
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some prefer the silent middle finger. i prefer a good solid "**** ***!"

and it sounds good in mixed company. people appreciate it, because they don't hear it enough from a passing stranger at loud volume. you may hear a faint laugh in return from a nearby pedestrian, and that joyful sound alone might be just enough to make your whole day.

Last edited by eschlwc; 01-26-13 at 07:25 PM.
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Old 01-26-13, 07:22 PM   #13
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Just consider the source and laugh to yourself at the incredibly level of smartass stupidity.
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Old 01-26-13, 07:35 PM   #14
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I prefer insults that combine the phrase, "bite me, ..." with some aspect
of the lycra spandex, crabon fibre, Cat 6 racer lifestyle.

e.g. "Bite my ass, Pee Wee !! How was today's big adventure ?"

You get the idea..............
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Old 01-26-13, 07:39 PM   #15
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"You'd need a bigger ball than Lance to ride something like this!!"

or

"I see it only takes half a man to ride something new like yours!!"

or the tried and true "Go **** your mom, a******e!!"

Depends on how bad you feel like scrappin'.
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Old 01-26-13, 07:47 PM   #16
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Don't you have crime to fight spandex boy?

Is that a bike like Lance's?

Did you mistake your embrocation cream for your chamois butter?

Do you parents know you dress like that in public?
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Old 01-26-13, 07:53 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle uncle View Post
I was minding my own bidness, pedaling away on my Schwinn Le Tour II, t-shirt, running shoes, and non-bike shorts in tow.
Well first of all, put your non-bike shorts on your butt instead of towing them behind.



I have a standard response for all heckling, whether it comes from other cyclists or motorists: I wave back enthusiastically and yell, "I LOVE YOU TOO!" or "I LOVE YOU, MAN!" At that point I can tell myself that the ones who are snickering are laughing with me. I once had a carful of high school boys buzz me and start yelling out F*** YOU and stuff like that. I waved and yelled back, "I LOVE YOU!" with a big smile on my face. They all started laughing and one of them yelled back at me, "It's cool, man!"
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 01-26-13, 07:54 PM   #18
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Steel is real, poser! Have a nice day...
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Old 01-26-13, 08:16 PM   #19
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Just stand on it and waste him. Leave him choking on dust and burnt rubber.
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Old 01-26-13, 08:19 PM   #20
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Or how about;
"Yeah, your mom thought it was cool enough."
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Old 01-26-13, 08:20 PM   #21
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"The jerk store called... they're running out of you!"

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Old 01-26-13, 08:28 PM   #22
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"I'LL PRAY FOR YOU!"

People are always touched when I say this.
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Old 01-26-13, 08:36 PM   #23
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"This rides nearly as nicely as your mom."
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Old 01-26-13, 08:46 PM   #24
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"Oh -- isn't that the carbon fork with the safety recall?"
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Old 01-26-13, 09:27 PM   #25
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Quote:
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There's nothing you can say, in fact saying anything will only fuel their fire.
Theres always something you can say, but why? **** 'em dude, you'll still be riding your bike when most of them are dead or dying from steroid abuse.
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