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Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) Looking to lose that spare tire? Ideal weight 200+? Frustrated being a large cyclist in a sport geared for the ultra-light? Learn about the bikes and parts that can take the abuse of a heavier cyclist, how to keep your body going while losing the weight, and get support from others who've been successful.

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Old 04-05-07, 05:42 PM   #1
StokerPoker
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I'm living a lie....

For the last month and half I've been living a lie. Part of me was afraid to admit it because I am afraid of change. I also was afraid to say something and then have things go back to teh way they were. But, I can deny it no longer. I'm not a Clyde anymore. It started a while back when the scale said 199 (this is a Dr.'s office type scale that is calibrated daily) the next day I was at 202. I bounced around between 199 and 203 for a month and then I started losing again. The scale hasn't said 200 or more in over a month now and I've been 193 for a few days. It's weird really. I weighed 250 lbs for so long and I started losing weight a year ago. I stayed at 220-225 for quite a while. I've had many plateau weights througout the year, but it looks like I'm going down again.
I know I wasn't comfortable with myself at that weight and I know I'm on the right track to being healthy, but something feels wrong. It's like I'm losing a part of myself (no pun intended) with the weight. I feel better but I don't feel like me. I guess I'll get used to it but for now I'm still a bit confused when I look in the mirror and I get uncomfortable when people see me and comment on my weight loss. Part of me is proud and feels good about the accomplishment, but part of me just doesn't know how to take it. I've put new holes in my belt because I'm afraid to buy new clothes that fit right in case I gain it back, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to.
I haven't weighed 193 since my freshmen year of high school, and then, I was fat. Right now I've got a bit of a belly still, which is fine with me, but my whole body is different than it was then.

Thanks for letting me come clean. it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...err stomach (ok, pun was intended there)

Thanks to everyone for the support, ideas, encouragment, and the willingness to share your own stories, thoughts and feelings making this a truly wonderful and safe place to share my own
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Old 04-05-07, 05:59 PM   #2
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Congrats on the loss and I can only hope I have your problems at some point!

I do know how you feel though, many times during my many many diets people have said 'Oh you look good' or 'What are you doing to loose weight' and honestly I just wish everyone should shut up until i get to my goal because I know for me at least it kind of makes me have more pressure on myself because I know if I fail then they are going to notice.

As far as the clothes thing I have also been there, I wear about a 44 now (under the shed) but have been up to a 50/52 (also under the shed) and I hold on to them in fear I may again need them someday. I am going to loose a good chunk this time and just drop off everything I have not fit into in the past 30lbs to good will. The thought of doing that sounds kind of liberating to be honest
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Old 04-05-07, 06:03 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Smitty77
Congrats on the loss and I can only hope I have your problems at some point!

I do know how you feel though, many times during my many many diets people have said 'Oh you look good' or 'What are you doing to loose weight' and honestly I just wish everyone should shut up until i get to my goal because I know for me at least it kind of makes me have more pressure on myself because I know if I fail then they are going to notice.

As far as the clothes thing I have also been there, I wear about a 44 now (under the shed) but have been up to a 50/52 (also under the shed) and I hold on to them in fear I may again need them someday. I am going to loose a good chunk this time and just drop off everything I have not fit into in the past 30lbs to good will. The thought of doing that sounds kind of liberating to be honest
the funny thing is I lost the first 20 lbs without doing anything differently as far as I know. I certainly wasn't trying. but then I had more energy, and summer came along and my Fiancee and I spent a lot of time walking and I bought her a bike so we could ride together. then certain foods just didn't seem appealing to me and I started eating better because those were the foods that sounded good. I've been eating more, but better and it's gone from there.
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Old 04-05-07, 06:08 PM   #4
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Tom, We'll need another certificate...
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Old 04-05-07, 06:39 PM   #5
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Kevin,

If my scale ever reads sub-200 you'll hear me all the way up in Livonia!

Way to go man!!!!


P.S. The Raleigh is back on the road, pictures soon.
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Old 04-05-07, 08:41 PM   #6
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Kevin,

If my scale ever reads sub-200 you'll hear me all the way up in Livonia!

Way to go man!!!!


P.S. The Raleigh is back on the road, pictures soon.
thanks... and pics of the Raleigh are an absolute must!!!
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Old 04-05-07, 09:26 PM   #7
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Congrats, stolerpoker!

Here ya go, 1 Graduation certificate to Emeritus Status!

Quote:
Originally Posted by StokerPoker
For the last month and half I've been living a lie. Part of me was afraid to admit it because I am afraid of change. I also was afraid to say something and then have things go back to teh way they were. But, I can deny it no longer. I'm not a Clyde anymore. It started a while back when the scale said 199 (this is a Dr.'s office type scale that is calibrated daily) the next day I was at 202. I bounced around between 199 and 203 for a month and then I started losing again. The scale hasn't said 200 or more in over a month now and I've been 193 for a few days. It's weird really. I weighed 250 lbs for so long and I started losing weight a year ago. I stayed at 220-225 for quite a while. I've had many plateau weights througout the year, but it looks like I'm going down again.
I know I wasn't comfortable with myself at that weight and I know I'm on the right track to being healthy, but something feels wrong. It's like I'm losing a part of myself (no pun intended) with the weight. I feel better but I don't feel like me. I guess I'll get used to it but for now I'm still a bit confused when I look in the mirror and I get uncomfortable when people see me and comment on my weight loss. Part of me is proud and feels good about the accomplishment, but part of me just doesn't know how to take it. I've put new holes in my belt because I'm afraid to buy new clothes that fit right in case I gain it back, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to.
I haven't weighed 193 since my freshmen year of high school, and then, I was fat. Right now I've got a bit of a belly still, which is fine with me, but my whole body is different than it was then.

Thanks for letting me come clean. it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders...err stomach (ok, pun was intended there)

Thanks to everyone for the support, ideas, encouragment, and the willingness to share your own stories, thoughts and feelings making this a truly wonderful and safe place to share my own
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Old 04-05-07, 09:30 PM   #8
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thanks Tom. you have been an inspiration to us all!!
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Old 04-06-07, 06:04 AM   #9
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Congrats on being emeritus!

I've put on a pound or two in the last month, not sure how since I rode about 1000 miles and have still been watching what I eat, but work's been killing me and I haven't slept much. I'm now at 193, but that's still a far cry from the "260 something" that I was Jan '06.
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Old 04-06-07, 07:47 AM   #10
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Way to go--LOSER!!!
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Old 04-06-07, 08:12 AM   #11
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Excellent! Stay motivated and stay healthy!

I have a friend who has recently hit 185 after losing more than 50 pounds. (He's doing it through swimming and ocean kayaking.)

I recently asked him, "Wouldn't it be nice to be able to keep that fat around, so you could look at it once in a while for motivation?"

Can you imagine?
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Old 04-06-07, 08:14 AM   #12
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210# and dropping about a pound a week. I have been doing training rides of 20 mi Mon, Tues, and Wed at about 14.5-16mph avg and ~50 miles on Saturday and recovery 20 on Sunday. I definitely feel more energy and lighter on my feet. Started getting serious about weight loss at 220#.
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Old 04-06-07, 12:27 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oopfoo
Excellent! Stay motivated and stay healthy!

I have a friend who has recently hit 185 after losing more than 50 pounds. (He's doing it through swimming and ocean kayaking.)

I recently asked him, "Wouldn't it be nice to be able to keep that fat around, so you could look at it once in a while for motivation?"

Can you imagine?
that would be kinda funny. Have you actually ever seen a pound of fat in a zioploc bag? talk about disgusting. that would be great motivation!!!
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Old 04-06-07, 12:39 PM   #14
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reminds me of the smokers lung display
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Old 04-06-07, 12:49 PM   #15
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reminds me of the smokers lung display
yeah, but for some reason that one still hasn't worked for me
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Old 04-06-07, 12:50 PM   #16
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Congratulations, hard work pays off :-)

8 kg left for me...
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Old 04-06-07, 05:02 PM   #17
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Well done StokerPoker, and stop by and visit us from time to time!
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