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Thread: Skinless Franks

  1. #1
    Senior Member Nightcap's Avatar
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    Skinless Franks

    Or, A Newbie's Lament

    A few weeks ago, I dragged my faithful old Bianchi out of the basement, replaced the rusty chain, and got back on the road. Heeding the advice of the wiser members of this community, I bought a jersey and dug out the never-worn bike shorts I'd picked up years ago. It was the first time I'd ever worn bike shorts, and besides looking ridiculous, I was uncomfortable displaying my shortcomings in so blatant a fashion. I called L.L. Bean and bought a pair of shorts that had inner padding and an outer shell.

    The L.L. Bean shorts were much looser and more comfortable. I wore 'em every time I went riding. Last week I noticed some irritation. Himself and his two friends weren't staying in one place, and I had to keep adjusting myself as I rode. When I got home and hit the showers from a twenty-mile jaunt, there seemed to be some definite sensitivity down there. I didn't think much of it, and kept riding. A few days ago, the discomfort could no longer be ignored. This was more than just chafing; I was raw. The looser, "more comfortable" shorts allowed things to rub the wrong way, as it were.

    I took it easy for a couple days while annointing myself with salve. This morning, after applying a generous glob of Bacitracin, I donned proper bike shorts: tight, ludicrous, and entirely too revealing. Twenty-five miles later, I'm still comfortable. The heck with modesty - anybody who's that interested in my religion will just have to be rolling at 15 miles per hour! I'm wearing tight lycra from now on!

  2. #2
    Perma-Clyde (51)'s Avatar
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    I just wear a pair of exercise shorts over my bike shorts.
    http://www.trailerparkboys.org/forum...fault/beer.gif In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. -Ben Franklin

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wogster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightcap View Post
    Or, A Newbie's Lament

    A few weeks ago, I dragged my faithful old Bianchi out of the basement, replaced the rusty chain, and got back on the road. Heeding the advice of the wiser members of this community, I bought a jersey and dug out the never-worn bike shorts I'd picked up years ago. It was the first time I'd ever worn bike shorts, and besides looking ridiculous, I was uncomfortable displaying my shortcomings in so blatant a fashion. I called L.L. Bean and bought a pair of shorts that had inner padding and an outer shell.

    The L.L. Bean shorts were much looser and more comfortable. I wore 'em every time I went riding. Last week I noticed some irritation. Himself and his two friends weren't staying in one place, and I had to keep adjusting myself as I rode. When I got home and hit the showers from a twenty-mile jaunt, there seemed to be some definite sensitivity down there. I didn't think much of it, and kept riding. A few days ago, the discomfort could no longer be ignored. This was more than just chafing; I was raw. The looser, "more comfortable" shorts allowed things to rub the wrong way, as it were.

    I took it easy for a couple days while annointing myself with salve. This morning, after applying a generous glob of Bacitracin, I donned proper bike shorts: tight, ludicrous, and entirely too revealing. Twenty-five miles later, I'm still comfortable. The heck with modesty - anybody who's that interested in my religion will just have to be rolling at 15 miles per hour! I'm wearing tight lycra from now on!
    If your really worried about modesty use the Lycra shorts (whivh are supposed to be worn commando style) as underwear under the Beans. I sometimes wear over shorts if I want pockets, and have no problems. I was having a chafing problem, but it seems to have gone away again......

  4. #4
    Back after a long absence joelpalmer's Avatar
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    I LOVE my MTB shorts - padded lycra on the inside and plain-looking shorts on the outside. Pockets and everything. I got them originally to commute in since I had to ride BART (San Francisco) partway and just wasn't a big fan of the ogling. Now I use them any time I ride more than a few miles. The pockets are great - most have a zip pocket for wallet in the back and some have full front pockets - if you want to ride somewhere and stop for a refreshing beverage.
    When the going gets weird the weird turn pro
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  5. #5
    Mad Dog kpshearer's Avatar
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    In this day & age where one can pierce, color, or tattoo anything on their body I say if someone wants to ogle me then let em. I may look like 15 lbs of sh**t in a 10 lb sack but if I'm comfy @ the end of the day, meh.

  6. #6
    Perma-Clyde (51)'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kpshearer View Post
    I may look like 15 lbs of sh**t in a 10 lb sack.


    http://www.trailerparkboys.org/forum...fault/beer.gif In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. -Ben Franklin

  7. #7
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kpshearer View Post
    I may look like 15 lbs of sh**t in a 10 lb sack but if I'm comfy @ the end of the day, meh.
    Here here! I actually look like 241 pounds crammed into a 215 pound sack (I wore my old race jersey this morning, and race weight was around 215 pounds) but the lycra is comfy. If I'm out on errands, I'll wear lycra padded shorts under my baggy X-mart cargo shorts. If I'm out on a long ride, then everyone can suffer the issues of having to see my big butt in lycra bib shorts.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  8. #8
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
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    Maybe the baggy shorts were just too big for you, and the chafing wouldn't happen if they were smaller...

  9. #9
    Senior Member Nightcap's Avatar
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    That was exactly the problem, Solveg. External genitalia are another point against the concept of "intelligent design."

  10. #10
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightcap View Post
    That was exactly the problem, Solveg. External genitalia are another point against the concept of "intelligent design."

  11. #11
    This Space For Rent Stujoe's Avatar
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    I haven't had any problems with chaffing anywhere and I just use walmart sport shorts. My longest rides are only 35 miles, though, and I don't ride my road(ish) bike very often and my saddle seems to fit me real well.

    If I ever experience any issues, I think I would go the shorts over the biking shorts route. Or maybe the MTB shorts mentioned above. They sound like more my style.

    I also just wear some cheapo Champion double dry mesh shirts. They are about as skin fitting as I can stand. I really dislike restrictive clothing.

  12. #12
    Disgruntled grad student beingtxstate's Avatar
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    I hear ya!

    I just wear my bike shorts as 'undies' for my sport shorts.

    BTW, your title had me worried...

    Regards,

    Frank (not skinless)
    1990 Trek 330
    2006 Trek 7.2FX
    2006 Trek 7.3FX (Wifey's Steed)

  13. #13
    Gorntastic! v1k1ng1001's Avatar
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    i look hot in my lycra shorts so i wear them every chance i get

  14. #14
    Senior Member redls1camaro's Avatar
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    Tight shorts are the only way to go IMO. I could care less what people think, im trying to better myself.
    trek 6000..
    06 Masi Alare

  15. #15
    Senior Member mike's Avatar
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    You can wear a jockey and your favorite shorts.

    That's why they make jockeys.
    Mike

  16. #16
    Can't ride enough! Da Tinker's Avatar
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    Remember Dupont's Law of Lycra:
    How cool you look in your tight bike clothes is inverserly proportional to the distance you are from you bike.
    Happiness begins with facing life with a smile & a wink.

  17. #17
    Gorntastic! v1k1ng1001's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Da Tinker View Post
    Remember Dupont's Law of Lycra:
    How cool you look in your tight bike clothes is inverserly proportional to the distance you are from you bike.
    yup

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightcap View Post
    That was exactly the problem, Solveg. External genitalia are another point against the concept of "intelligent design."
    Yeah, but think of the advertising value of external genitalia. . .
    I . . can . . . doooo . . . it

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