Or, A Newbie's Lament
A few weeks ago, I dragged my faithful old Bianchi out of the basement, replaced the rusty chain, and got back on the road. Heeding the advice of the wiser members of this community, I bought a jersey and dug out the never-worn bike shorts I'd picked up years ago. It was the first time I'd ever worn bike shorts, and besides looking ridiculous, I was uncomfortable displaying my shortcomings in so blatant a fashion. I called L.L. Bean and bought a pair of shorts that had inner padding and an outer shell.
The L.L. Bean shorts were much looser and more comfortable. I wore 'em every time I went riding. Last week I noticed some irritation. Himself and his two friends weren't staying in one place, and I had to keep adjusting myself as I rode. When I got home and hit the showers from a twenty-mile jaunt, there seemed to be some definite sensitivity down there. I didn't think much of it, and kept riding. A few days ago, the discomfort could no longer be ignored. This was more than just chafing; I was raw. The looser, "more comfortable" shorts allowed things to rub the wrong way, as it were.
I took it easy for a couple days while annointing myself with salve. This morning, after applying a generous glob of Bacitracin, I donned proper bike shorts: tight, ludicrous, and entirely too revealing. Twenty-five miles later, I'm still comfortable. The heck with modesty - anybody who's that interested in my religion will just have to be rolling at 15 miles per hour! I'm wearing tight lycra from now on!