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  1. #1
    Senior Member tntom's Avatar
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    Has this happened to you?

    I have lost 50lbs this last year. From 260 to 210 from 44 wast to 36. Now all my overweight friends started telling me I had lost enough after about 20lbs. They say if I reach my goal of 190 I will look sick. And now if I am around them at church {I am a pastor** worse even baptist {we think we have to eat every time we meet** And we have food they try there best to get me to eat sweet stuff and they know that is my weekness. You would think they would try to help but I think they want me back in the same boat with them. Sorry I know this is off subject but I needed to tell some folks that would understand.

    Thanks
    Tom
    ]

  2. #2
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    Become an Episcopalian or a Zoroasterist?
    But . . . congrats on the loss!

  3. #3
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    Destroyer of Wheels Air's Avatar
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    First off - congrats!!! That's a phenomenal amount to lose and no small feat!

    Had it happen with a gf (who was a bit 'big boned' but not too much) - the more I lost the less she was interested in me. Wound up breaking up but am now with someone incredibly supportive in all aspects of my life - amazing how much of a difference that is!!

    What's your height? I'm 6-1" and very broad; if I was 190 I wouldn't look good; I don't care which chart you put in front of me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member tntom's Avatar
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    I am 6'. I am 55 don't care how I look anymore just want to be healthy and get up hills on my bike better.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Wogster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tntom View Post
    I have lost 50lbs this last year. From 260 to 210 from 44 wast to 36. Now all my overweight friends started telling me I had lost enough after about 20lbs. They say if I reach my goal of 190 I will look sick. And now if I am around them at church {I am a pastor** worse even baptist {we think we have to eat every time we meet** And we have food they try there best to get me to eat sweet stuff and they know that is my weekness. You would think they would try to help but I think they want me back in the same boat with them. Sorry I know this is off subject but I needed to tell some folks that would understand.

    Thanks
    Tom
    ]
    I think that's the only problem with being a Baptist (another Baptist here, my wife is going through the ordination process right now), although it's worst in a multicultural church where there are a large number of folks from the West Indies..... Especially when your like me, and gain weight by looking at food.

  6. #6
    Support JDRF b_young's Avatar
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    You're my hero, keep it up. Don't let them pull you back in.

    As the pastor of the Church it is also your responsibility to lead by example. I have been at 245 forever. It is my weakness as well. You should have them help you by confessing it as a weakness to them and ask for prayer support. Without knowing your height I would still say 190 is not too thin and is a resonable weight. All potlucks have some form of health choice's, they will get use to it if you continue avoiding the sweets. If not, just have a couple of sermons on gluttony.

    Agape,
    Brian
    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift that is why it is called the present." - Kung Fu Panda

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  7. #7
    Triathlon in my future??? flip18436572's Avatar
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    First off, great job with the weight loss. And yes, people do not like it that you are looking better than them and feeling better about yourself. Yes, they will try to suck you in, and they think you will be happy. I was actually stopped by two old co-workers that didn't know who I was, but they saw my wife and daughter, so they figured it out. I told them how I am doing it (eating right and exercising) and they didn't want to hear that, they wanted to hear about a magic pill that does it for them and they can drink all the beer in the world. Then I told them I still had another 50 pounds to go and they told me I would look sick. I went from a 48 inch waist and I am currently wearing 33 waist jeans. My goal is 31 waist jeans and I think if I stick with it I can do it.

    Don't worry about the people that will think you will look sick. Remember that you are doing this for you, and sometimes you need to be selfish. I understand that you are a leader of a church, but doing things for you will also help them.

    KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK !!!!!
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  8. #8
    Thread Killer evblazer's Avatar
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    Congrats on the weight loss. Just make sure you wear bulky clothing around the church so they can't see how thin your getting.

    When my wife and I first met I was 6'2" and 115lbs very wiry. Last year oh 17 years later I was 6'2" over 300lbs and not so wiry She says I looked sickly thin back then but I was a starting off/def lineman on my highschool team (8-0 go blue wave!) at that weight so I wasn't that sickly.

    I'm now down under 260 and she thinks I'm going to be too thin soon but I just recently was able to fit into XXL bibs so I don't think I'm too thin. People I know try to fatten me up now saying I can eat more cake since I can just ride it off or if I don't I'll melt away. Other folks are a pretty big obstacle but it is well worth it and with practice hopefully can be worked around.

  9. #9
    Banned. Mr. Beanz's Avatar
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    I'm about 245 right now. Althoug I am now carrying more than I 'd like, when I get down to 220, my family starts telling me to go to the doctor's. They think I starve myself but actually eat well, just no junk. That and riding my butt off up the mtns is a sure way of weightloss. Just been lazy the last couple of years.

    So either I'm starving myself or I'm about to go into a diabetic coma according to them!

  10. #10
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    Yep, it happens to me too.....

    Family gatherings, they literally force food on me. Fortunately, I was able to larn 'em a bit though. It just took some time. My Mother still thinks I'm starving to death. This is in spite of the fact that I'm in better shape now than when I was a teenager and have the blood chemistry and blood pressure smack dab in the middle of perfect, and a resting HR of 50-54, at the age of 48.

    My primary care Dr is wanting me to help him get active in the Spring We go bike and trainer shopping this weekend. He likes my progress
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  11. #11
    Senior Member tntom's Avatar
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    Thanks for the understanding. My Doc is happy also. Off my long time blood pressure med and reflux med. I did this for me and I am going the rest of the way for me. They mean well they just have not worked as hard as I have to get it off. God bless you all and keep up the good work.
    Tom

  12. #12
    Uber Goober StephenH's Avatar
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    You need to do what is right for you- stick with your program, stay healthy, set an example for other people.

  13. #13
    Senior Member CalPastor's Avatar
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    hey Tom!

    I'm a Baptist Pastor too! Working on losing weight again. Have fallen in love with the road bike. Keep it up!

  14. #14
    Senior Member Caincando1's Avatar
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    Misery loves company!

    I've lost 133lbs in the last year and I've had many comments too. While there are many supportive people, there are those that aren't because it reminds them of their shortcomings. Stay strong and don't give in to the enablers.
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  15. #15
    NadaKid wayne pattee's Avatar
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    If not, just have a couple of sermons on gluttony.
    Good Answer

  16. #16
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by tntom View Post
    I have lost 50lbs this last year. From 260 to 210 from 44 wast to 36. Now all my overweight friends started telling me I had lost enough after about 20lbs. They say if I reach my goal of 190 I will look sick. And now if I am around them at church {I am a pastor** worse even baptist {we think we have to eat every time we meet** And we have food they try there best to get me to eat sweet stuff and they know that is my weekness. You would think they would try to help but I think they want me back in the same boat with them. Sorry I know this is off subject but I needed to tell some folks that would understand.

    Thanks
    Tom
    ]
    Hi Tom,

    You will find that many people have a distorted opinion of what is a "healthy" weight. When I was 242, about 20 pounds more than my doctor and trainers at my gym thought I should weigh, I had coworkers tell me I was too thin. Now that I've regained about 20 pounds - my first regain since beginning weight loss two years ago, these same folks are happy.

    Of course, it's possible their happiness isn't due to a misguided concern for my health. Many obese people nurture hatred of the formerly fat. Jared Fogle, the Subway spokesman, seems to be a lightening rod for criticism. Read
    http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/subway.asp
    for some examples.

  17. #17
    Banned. DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Look carefully. Are these folks colored green (with envy)?

    They are simply a bit jealous - they can't lose weight, and they don't want you showing them up.

    Congratulations on the loss.

  18. #18
    Senior Member tpelle's Avatar
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    I'm 6'-2" with a big build (24" shoulder width, 50" chest, and 38" waist) and am now down to about 260 lbs. I was 360 lbs three years ago. Most of this weight loss was due to dieting and cutting out pretty much ALL sweets (diagnosed as Type II diabetic). I've been bicycling since about April of 2007.

    Everyone I meet who knew me from before tells me how great I look (which is encouraging), and ask me if I'm going to loose more. I tell them that the first 100 lbs is the easiest, but that I'd like to lose another 20 or 30 lbs.

    I no longer find it a problem to avoid sugary stuff - doughnuts and cookies and things like that just no longer seem to appeal to me. My biggest problem is that I travel a lot for my job, and when you have to eat in restaurants you have absolutely NO IDEA what they put in your food - even if you try to make a "healthy" choice you may find your next glucometer stick is sky high.
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  19. #19
    Senior Member piper_chuck's Avatar
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    Yup, I've heard it before too. A little over 10 years ago I managed to get myself in really good shape and had my weight down to a great level, but definitely not anorexic. My mother complained that I looked unhealthy. It's a pity that many in our society feel that a person needs to carry extra pounds to look healthy.

    I'm having similar motivation problems with my wife. She agrees I'm fat, tells me that I should lose weight, but continues to buy the snacks she knows I can't resist (I know she's not forcing me to eat them) and complains every time I say I'm going to exercise. I've learned to ignore the complaining, but it sure would be nice if she'd learn to support exercising.
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  20. #20
    Healthy and active twobikes's Avatar
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    I am a Lutheran pastor. In past decades when I was dropping weight my wife would begin to sabbotage my diet. I think she was afraid I might look attractive to other women if I reached my goal weight(s). At age 61 women are now saying I have such a beautiful full head of gray hair. They said nothing about what is under the hair (my mind). What a shallow bunch! Did I mention these are women in their 80's?

    Parish ministry involves so much work from a sedentary posture. Recently the University of Missouri discovered an enzyme that carries fat to the muscles for burning just quits working when we are sitting and the fat packs in around major organs. Also, women at church enter into some kind of wierd competition I call "The Battle of the Desserts." Each has to outdo the other when serving refreshments at some function. There is no way the pastor can refuse a serving.

    Another problem is food addiction. It is easy to use food to get us through the pain of stress and emotional conflict. There are 20 disturbing questions at this link about our relationship to food. All it takes is one malcontent in a congregation to put us in his crosshairs, and we have lots of stress to handle. When pastors handle stress with excessive amounts of alcohol or chasing other women, it becomes occupationally hazardous leading to unemployment. Food is one of the few socially acceptable addictions we can have. Riding a bike is also a socially acceptable addiction, but with far fewer adverse effects.

    I think about Mike Huckabee. He was an active Baptist pastor before entereing politics. He shed about 100 pounds after learning he had diabetes. I keep wondering if he might have avoided the diabetes if he hand shed the 100 pounds earlier, or never gained that weight at all.

    Keep working at losing the weight. 190 pounds will make you look thinner than you are now, but you will not look too thin.
    Last edited by twobikes; 01-09-08 at 08:04 AM. Reason: correct a spelling error
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  21. #21
    Disgruntled grad student beingtxstate's Avatar
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    Tom, what an amazing transformation you have done for yourself! I am sure that through a constructive confrontation with the congregation (that's a lot of "C's") they should come around. After all, our body is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20), and we should be "holy and pleasing" to God as a form of worship (Romans 12:1). These verses are what have me working to lose weight and become more healthy as a part of becoming a better, stronger Christian. Your congregation should understand and respect that.

    Good luck!
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  22. #22
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    You know what....

    That's a core of a Sermon If you have the pulpit, why not use it as a platform to benefit the flock and help them get healthy.

    Quote Originally Posted by beingtxstate View Post
    Tom, what an amazing transformation you have done for yourself! I am sure that through a constructive confrontation with the congregation (that's a lot of "C's") they should come around. After all, our body is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20), and we should be "holy and pleasing" to God as a form of worship (Romans 12:1). These verses are what have me working to lose weight and become more healthy as a part of becoming a better, stronger Christian. Your congregation should understand and respect that.

    Good luck!
    -Frank
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  23. #23
    Senior Member tntom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beingtxstate View Post
    Tom, what an amazing transformation you have done for yourself! I am sure that through a constructive confrontation with the congregation (that's a lot of "C's") they should come around. After all, our body is a temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20), and we should be "holy and pleasing" to God as a form of worship (Romans 12:1). These verses are what have me working to lose weight and become more healthy as a part of becoming a better, stronger Christian. Your congregation should understand and respect that.

    Good luck!
    -Frank
    That is what started me going to LA weight loss. They have helped me to loose what I have. The Lord convicted of how can I stand and preach against harmfull things and at the same time kill myself with food. I think you and Tom are right some preaching on these verses may help them to see the light.

  24. #24
    Thread Killer evblazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tntom View Post
    That is what started me going to LA weight loss. They have helped me to loose what I have. The Lord convicted of how can I stand and preach against harmfull things and at the same time kill myself with food. I think you and Tom are right some preaching on these verses may help them to see the light.
    Just remember the some part.
    A certain relative of mine gives sermons somewhere out in PA and got on this getting healthy kick. She started talking more and more about health and exercise people taking care of their body etc etc. Some people got really offended, complained about it and didn't come back.
    She is kinda whacky though she keeps pushing me on some powder that will cure all my ill's. I'll smite my marfan syndrome with this colored sawdust once and for all

  25. #25
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by evblazer View Post
    Just remember the some part.
    A certain relative of mine gives sermons somewhere out in PA and got on this getting healthy kick. She started talking more and more about health and exercise people taking care of their body etc etc. Some people got really offended, complained about it and didn't come back.
    Reminds me of a good story I heard, a story that may even be true:

    A new pastor in an Iowa church preached one Sunday on the evils of smoking. The congregation gave a lukewarm response to the sermon. Afterwards a church member took him aside and spoke to him. "A lot of us work for a tobacco company or on tobacco farms. That's not a good topic to preach on."

    The next Sunday he ascended the pulpit and preached on the evils of war. Again the congregation seemed less than pleased. And again someone pulled him aside and explained, "a lot of us work for the military, or companies that sell to the military. Try another subject."

    Come Sunday, he preached to his flock on the evils of drinking and being drunk. The church wasn't enthusiastic at all. Later, someone told him "a lot of us work for bars or breweries, or we like to relax with a a few beers after work. You should find another subject for a sermon."

    The pastor took this advice to heart. The next Sunday the church was very enthusiastic after the sermon. Churchmembers came up and complimented him for his powerful speaking on the evils of fishing in another country's territorial waters.

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