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Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) Looking to lose that spare tire? Ideal weight 200+? Frustrated being a large cyclist in a sport geared for the ultra-light? Learn about the bikes and parts that can take the abuse of a heavier cyclist, how to keep your body going while losing the weight, and get support from others who've been successful.

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Old 04-08-08, 09:50 AM   #1
Neil_B
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PING Rollerdave - Done any riding?

It's been three days since your last report. We are going into withdraw.
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Old 04-08-08, 11:17 AM   #2
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^^^ What he said!!
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Old 04-08-08, 11:45 AM   #3
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I was just this morning thinking the same , It has become a daily read his postings , Hopefully he will back soon
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Old 04-08-08, 12:47 PM   #4
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maybe he took off on his 3rd ride and just hasn't stopped.
He could be half way across the US if his bike was grin powered.
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Old 04-08-08, 12:49 PM   #5
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I was just this morning thinking the same , It has become a daily read his postings , Hopefully he will back soon
Hey guys, Ol' Roller ain't forgot ya.

Wish I could give you another ride report, I'm DYING to get back out there, but things have come up.

Life comes at you head on and sometimes that's a good thing; we all need a wakeup call from time to time and I got that. Nothing's changed in THAT regard...

But sometimes it sucks when life hits you in the gut.

Last Friday my 78 year old mother was admitted to Unity hospital in Fridley MN with a bowel obstruction and placed under heavy sedation. She was in so much pain. She never likes anyone to see her cry.

My family is sort of... well.... complicated. It's fractured by the religious group some still belong to, by the divorce of my parents in 1966 fer pete's sake!

There has been a constant ongoing battle over mom and her power of attorney. One sister views it as the chance to have the power to 'fix' mom's life even though mom does not agree with her that her life NEEDS fixing. A brother has been staying with mom, albeit in violation of mom's lease and subsidized housing rules and views it as a chance to move mom into a 2br and get cheap rent.

These two ugly factions have garnered the supports of most of my family, just my one sister and I stand against eleven people who all have their own selfish agendas. She actually HAS PoA, and the rest of those clowns fear me very much. Let's just say that they have reason to know that my wrath is something to be avoided. Because none of them can stand in the face of the logical, moral, legal, and medical forces I bring to bear, they have turned sneaky and vicious.

Mom says she's tired and it's time for her to have help. She says assisted living. THEY put up a fight.

My last few days have been spent helping and supporting my sister battle them strategically, legally, and with the DR's to get mom what she needs.

Today I'm off to another meeting with the hospital social services liaison, and the whole clan will be there, Ugly and angry. They aren't going to like how this turns out, she is going into the assisted living arrangement she wanted, and is coming HERE between the hospital and assisted living while the paperwork clears.

I expect it to turn ugly, I expect to be personally attacked by members of my family who would not so much as deign to acknowledge my existence for the last ten years. I expect my brothers will go straight to mom's place and take whatever they want. I expect I will be called a bunch of names... "apostate" "gun nut" "parasite" "crazy"... I've already been called all of these, I usually just laugh at them. It all boils down to they don't want me anywhere NEAR mom, and certainly don't want to have to come HERE to see mom where their manipulation will be directly in my view.

Sorry to dump all this on you guys, but I felt I ought to let you know I hadn't forgotten you all, or walked away from all I had accomplished.

There's a long summer ahead of me yet, I am still determined. I am still here.

I just have to spend a lil' time doing right by my mom for the next few days.

If any of you would like to talk, I would be up for that. You can email me at my username minus the last letter at gmail.

Thinking about all you guys,

RD
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Old 04-08-08, 01:14 PM   #6
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Just take care of Mom, the bike will be still be there when life slows down.

Keep your head up and get your mom to feeling better.
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Old 04-08-08, 01:53 PM   #7
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I'm on that!

I gave my contact info to Tom, told him he was free to give it out.

Gotta motor, I'll check back later,

RD
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Old 04-08-08, 01:55 PM   #8
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Be safe dave and if you need to vent, I also gave you mine......
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Old 04-08-08, 02:00 PM   #9
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Gotta keep smiling.
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File Type: jpg Still Smilin.jpg (42.7 KB, 43 views)
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Old 04-08-08, 02:03 PM   #10
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sorry to hear the family issues...sometimes kids just need to understand, its MOM's life, NOT theirs
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Old 04-08-08, 02:03 PM   #11
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Families are complicated. Do what you know is right. It sounds like you've got your Mom's best interests in mind and that's the important part. Fight the good fight.
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Old 04-08-08, 04:03 PM   #12
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Take care Dave. Hope things work out and you can get more time for the Eagle.
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Old 04-08-08, 05:14 PM   #13
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Take care of the fam. Your bike will still be there in the morning.
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Old 04-08-08, 05:27 PM   #14
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Good Luck Dave! Like everyone says, take care of family, the bike will eagerly await you
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Old 04-08-08, 06:47 PM   #15
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Nothing, I repeat nothing is more important than family. Use the biking as an escape when needed, but you are doing the correct thing. Take care of your Mother. I miss mine dearly and I wish you and your family all the best.
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Old 04-08-08, 11:43 PM   #16
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Well folks,

It could have went a whole lot worse. The other side couldn't make it in full force, and we managed to get reinforcements. The odds weren't in their favor so they did what bullies always do when faced down, they crumbled.

There's still stuff they can do to mom's stuff until we can get one of them out of mom's place and change locks, but mom is now beyond their reach. She will go into assisted living and get the help she needs and her power of attorney remains with the better of my two sisters. If there is any gap between hospital and assisted living, she is coming here and they all know it, and they all know it's her choice and that there isn't squat they can do.

I've gotta maintain a presence there both to bolster mom's spirits, make sure she is understood, and keep them from gaining a toehold. I hope she gets better so fast the assisted living isn't ready and she DOES come here for a spell.

It turns out to be a 'small bowel obstruction' and 'bladder infection' so it could be a few days, or a week or more. She has moderate to severe Alzheimer's so she keeps forgetting that she needs to get a nurse when she goes and "does business" so it can be looked at and count towards her being 'better.'

Also, she hated the food, and no input means no output! Her sister brought her some good broth, and we got her sugar-free jello she likes, we'll see.

I can't thank all of you enough for your outpouring of well wishes and support, but I'll try:

THANK YOU!

I am so glad to have posted here.

RD
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Old 04-09-08, 02:06 AM   #17
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Hang in there RD, i'm glad it went better than you thought it would. i agree with most of the advice everyones giving you. You also have to look after yourself too. make time for yourself and time to relax and take your mind of things. its not selfish so don't let anyone tell you that. if you take care of yourself you'll be much better for your mother:-)
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Old 04-09-08, 03:23 AM   #18
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Hey RD, good luck with all this, I don't envy you your position, but from your posts you sound like a decent chap and your mother sounds like she's in safe hands with you.

Don't neglect yourself in this, you'll need an outlet and sometime 10 minutes on a bike is a great way to get some fresh air and clear your thoughts.

Take care sir!
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Old 04-09-08, 03:39 AM   #19
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Best wishes to you and your family Dave!
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Old 04-09-08, 03:45 AM   #20
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My prays go out to you and your family. The modern Band of Brothers, bikeforums.net(edited). I have only been here a few days, all I see is friendship and camaraderie. As long as you search before making a new thread. I came here to ask a question and liked it, so I stayed. RD I hope things settle down for you, and your mother gets better soon as well lets you get into a situation where she doesn't need as much protecting. It may seem like the rest of the family might not like you but I bet your mother is very proud of you.

Best of wish,
Anton.

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Old 04-09-08, 05:35 AM   #21
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Ahem, it's bikeforums.net
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My prays go out to you and your family. The modern Band of Brothers, bikeforums.com. I have only been here a few days, all I see is friendship and camaraderie. As long as you search before making a new thread. I came here to ask a question and liked it, so I stayed. RD I hope things settle down for you, and your mother gets better soon as well lets you get into a situation where she doesn't need as much protecting. It may seem like the rest of the family might not like you but I bet your mother is very proud of you.

Best of wish,
Anton.
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Old 04-09-08, 06:06 AM   #22
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Kick some ass, Roller Dave! Keep standing up for what is right for your Mom no matter what! Screw everybody, nothing counts except for her wishes and needs. The rest of them can kiss your ass!
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Old 04-09-08, 07:19 AM   #23
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I wish you well Dave, keep up the good fight.
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Old 04-09-08, 07:48 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rollerdavem View Post
Well folks,

It could have went a whole lot worse. The other side couldn't make it in full force, and we managed to get reinforcements. The odds weren't in their favor so they did what bullies always do when faced down, they crumbled.

There's still stuff they can do to mom's stuff until we can get one of them out of mom's place and change locks, but mom is now beyond their reach. She will go into assisted living and get the help she needs and her power of attorney remains with the better of my two sisters. If there is any gap between hospital and assisted living, she is coming here and they all know it, and they all know it's her choice and that there isn't squat they can do.

I've gotta maintain a presence there both to bolster mom's spirits, make sure she is understood, and keep them from gaining a toehold. I hope she gets better so fast the assisted living isn't ready and she DOES come here for a spell.

It turns out to be a 'small bowel obstruction' and 'bladder infection' so it could be a few days, or a week or more. She has moderate to severe Alzheimer's so she keeps forgetting that she needs to get a nurse when she goes and "does business" so it can be looked at and count towards her being 'better.'

Also, she hated the food, and no input means no output! Her sister brought her some good broth, and we got her sugar-free jello she likes, we'll see.

I can't thank all of you enough for your outpouring of well wishes and support, but I'll try:

THANK YOU!

I am so glad to have posted here.

RD
I would get in there and change the locks ASAP, if they want to get something of theirs out of the house, they need to get you to let them in, otherwise all that will be left is crap.
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Old 04-09-08, 12:30 PM   #25
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Family first... especially if it is Mom!

Besides, it's supposed to snow again anyway!
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