I need a jersey with my rules posted on the back so wheelsuckers can read it!
Thought of this after today's ride. Rule #1: Gina's got my wheel no matter what!
On today's ride, someone jumped Gina's wheel, took 3rd inline. No biggie, Rule # 1 still in effect.
There was a stiff headwind on the final 12 miles of our 47 mile ride so I figured others would jump on. But one dude, who I know only rides 20 miles. We're on the final 12 of the 47 which means we have (uuh, eerr, umm uhhhh 35?) ok 35 miles on our legs including 51 from yesterday. He at the most does 20.
So I see this guy up ahead. He sees us coming up from behind and stomps on it! I know the guy so no question about it, he tried to run like so many other times I owned his arse!
He's about 50 yards ahead when he takes the opposite lane. His statedgy hugging the fence using it as a wind barrier. He gains some but still I'm going to own him once again so I keep my line. He runs out of fence and is back on his own after a mile or so. But he continues to look back and do the "runningman". He's talked some trash before so I can let him slide! One reason he's trying so hard is that he has many ride stories and knowing Gina is with me might be blow to his pride, beat by a girl!
So finally he is reeled in after 4 or 5 miles on a short uphill. As I go by he starts complaining how the lactic acid has built up in his legs. Uhh, ok Captain America, after all the stories and only 14 miles (Can't say Superman cause I'm Superman). SO he jumps on at the end of the line. I can barely hear him but it's all about how tired he is and how he hasn't been onthe bike in 3 weeks. Hmm, I saw him lastweek!
So that's rule #2: If you're gonna do the "running man", don't jump on the B Train when we roll by!
Rule #3: Don't whine about your legs hurting when you're in the draft and I've been at the front.
So a couple miles later the other rider pulls up along my side and hangs ther for 3 or 4 minutes. "Wow, it's windy up here!'. No sheot Sherlock! SO instead of offering to take the lead for a break, the rider stays on my side wasting energy when they could be helping. Rule #4: If you're gonna be a NoSheot Sherlock and not help, just stay the he** back!
So 2 miles later, the same rider pulls up and asks, "do your legs hurt?" Of course they hurt but there is a big stiff headwind and I want to get back! SO rule #5: If you're gonna be a No Sheot Sherlock, there is also a rule about asking stupid questions! So please apply #5 to yourself if you're also #4, cut out the middleman!
So before our ride ends, the other riders turn off and end their rides. After they drop off Gina asks, " why were your riding so hard?". Which brings us to rule #6. No matter what the real answer is, be nice to wife and give a good sweet answer, maybe apologize or else!
Oh, and a picture from today. A couple of SoCal forum members were kind enough to ride up from the San Diego area just to get their picture taken! I believe they did a century!
Me, GrumpyPig and RobertKat. PS: These guys had nothing to do with the rule ride. They are Socal members which means they are cool so I'm posting the pic!
RULE #7: THIS POST IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY SO DON'T START WITH THE TESTOSTERONE ACCUSATIONS ALREADY!