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  1. #1
    Senior Member BigPolishJimmy's Avatar
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    A possible solution to modesty

    I know bike shorts/bibs are in my future, they just make sense, but as a clyde of typical clyde physical form I think of Lycra as an enemy. Yes, I want the comfort of a stretchy waistband and the flex of the bike shorts, but the grape-smugglers.. oh the horror and lack of modesty of it all. I don't wear a speedo at the beach and I'm just not comfortable in this body for that type of clothing.

    Well I think I may have the solution to my woes... I'm thinking of getting 2 or 3 ping pong balls and tossing them in there when I have to be off the bike so that onlookers can really get something interesting to look at..

    What do you think?

  2. #2
    Senior Member snowman40's Avatar
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    I think your nuts.....I'd use tennis balls

    why not wear a pair of basketball shorts over the bibs?
    Quote Originally Posted by snowman40
    If you must speed up to pass me, you don't deserve to pass me
    Quote Originally Posted by abstractform20 View Post
    farts are greatly appreciated as long as the other riders are talented and experienced. at the precise moment of release, a vacuum is formed. this is the optimal time for the rider behind you to get as aero as possible and "ride the brown rhino". his face should be within 2-3mm of the anus to receive maximum benefit (reduced drag...duh, its in a vacuum). i have hit speeds of over 53mph in such conditions.

  3. #3
    Subjectively Insane MilitantPotato's Avatar
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    A pair of socks in the back.
    You've got a bike, so you gotta move.

  4. #4
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    A Keilbasa?
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant

  5. #5
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    There's a difference between bibs and the Speedo... Bibs cover a much greater area. Sure, they're still form fitting, but there's much more of ya covered with a pair of bibs than with a Speedo.
    I've never felt any immodesty issues when wearing my bibs. If people wanna stare at my junk, fine for them.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pinyon's Avatar
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    The pad also gives you a lot of...wiggle room (sorry) . Don't forget that you also don't have to be seen by that many people without the bike between your legs. I know a modest guy that semi-casually carries his helmet in front of his junk when he walks through a public place like a store or gas station.

    The other thing to consider is fit. I only purchase shorts made out of thicker fabric, and are not way-tight. That way, I avoid the "see everything" problems associated with thinner and sheer fabrics, and the "human sausage" look where your torso and legs looking like over-stuffed sausages in the shorts (not what you were thinking, you deviants ).

    Black and not-shiny fabric also helps a lot.

    Take the plunge. You'll never regret it.
    My Bike Blog
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  7. #7
    fishologist cohophysh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CliftonGK1 View Post
    There's a difference between bibs and the Speedo... Bibs cover a much greater area. Sure, they're still form fitting, but there's much more of ya covered with a pair of bibs than with a Speedo.
    I've never felt any immodesty issues when wearing my bibs. If people wanna stare at my junk, fine for them.
    How can most NOT stare at your junk when you are so dang tall
    We cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them. A.E.

    1990 Diamond Back MTB
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  8. #8
    member. heh. lambo_vt's Avatar
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    Bib shorts. No coverup needed because seriously no one cares. All there is to say.

  9. #9
    Thread Killer evblazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinyon View Post
    Black and not-shiny fabric also helps a lot.
    So I can't wear my pink bibs anymore? Bring it on I say!

  10. #10
    just pedal donalson's Avatar
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    I went though this back in the day when I 1st got more into cycling (mid/late 90's) and now that i'm back i'm fighting it again but this time another 100# up lol...

    in the 90's i was 16 or 17 when I got my 1st pair of real riding shorts... I always wore something over them... untill one day i went out for a ride in the middle of summer mid day... just stepping outside i was like OH CRAP... slid my over shorts off and tossed em in the house and off I went... after that I never had an issue... even stopped off at a few school functions in them (unplanned... if i planed to stop i'd bring another pair of shorts to toss on over with me)...

    last summer the same thing happend... it finaly got to hot on a ride that I took the over shorts off... now I just deal with it... it's not pretty but my comfort comes before the comfort of others haha
    mtbr clyd moderator

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    Just don't take Viagra and go riding and you will be fine.
    '08 Jamis Dakota 29er, '06 LeMond Sarthe, '92 Hardrock, '80 Schwinn Voyager 11.8

  12. #12
    Senior Member neilfein's Avatar
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    Please, nobody post that photo. You know which one.
    Tour Journals, Blog, ride pix

    I'm in the celtic folk fusion band Baroque and Hungry. "Mended", our new full-length studio album, is now available for download.

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    I actually got a comment from some D-Bag backseat cager saying "Nick Crack!"

    For a big guy I have surprisingly no butt. So I am prone to plumber crack. i wear long Tshirts for whatever rides I can now, just to feel better that Im not exposing myself. Not that I care, but I felt pretty embarassed when he said it. My fiancee said at least Im outside working out.

  14. #14
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Read the Sig.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  15. #15
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neilfein View Post
    Please, nobody post that photo. You know which one.
    With the OP's name, and this concern, it was the first thing that came to mind...

    but I won't be that guy today.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  16. #16
    Senior Member cod.peace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CliftonGK1 View Post
    With the OP's name, and this concern, it was the first thing that came to mind...

    but I won't be that guy today.
    But I will be...
    old steel Specialized Hardrock

  17. #17
    Senior Member neilfein's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cod.peace View Post
    But I will be...
    My eyes!
    Tour Journals, Blog, ride pix

    I'm in the celtic folk fusion band Baroque and Hungry. "Mended", our new full-length studio album, is now available for download.

  18. #18
    370H-SSV-0773H linux_author's Avatar
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    quod si oculus tuus dexter scandalizat te erue eum et proice abs te expedit enim tibi ut pereat unum membrorum tuorum quam totum corpus tuum mittatur in gehennam

  19. #19
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    What he said.

  20. #20
    Cantre Member Turtle Jack's Avatar
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    Mountain bike shorts?

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1122

    I started out using mountain bike shorts because of my modesty, but eventually got to the point of not caring and regular bike shorts/bibs are more comfortable.

    TJ

  21. #21
    Senior Member Hill-Pumper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    A Keilbasa?
    Then he would have to change his user name to BigPolishSausageJimmy wouldn't he. Honestly, if modesty is the concern, touring shorts are another way to go. They look like regular shorts, but have the chamois in them.

  22. #22
    karma is my higher power w00die's Avatar
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    The only concern I have when wearing the bike shorts is that I might see some hottie on my ride, or worse when I am off the bike

    Quote Originally Posted by linux_author View Post
    quod si oculus tuus dexter scandalizat te erue eum et proice abs te expedit enim tibi ut pereat unum membrorum tuorum quam totum corpus tuum mittatur in gehennam
    So that's why there are so many one eyed Pirates! (arrrghh Me eye!)

  23. #23
    Bikezilla Mazama's Avatar
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    I wear wicking shorts over my Lycra. Lycra keeps everything in place, the wicking shorts keeps me modest.
    14,000 miles and rolling...

  24. #24
    Tilting with windmills txvintage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle Jack View Post
    Mountain bike shorts?

    http://www.performancebike.com/shop/...tegory_ID=1122

    I started out using mountain bike shorts because of my modesty, but eventually got to the point of not caring and regular bike shorts/bibs are more comfortable.

    TJ
    Yep, MTB shorts are the answer for the disciminating Clyde about town.

  25. #25
    Senior Member toolbear's Avatar
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    Leave the Lycra to the models. Try mountain bike shorts.

    They have baggies with an inner liner - rather like mini bloomers - so folks cannot be peering where they should not. They are loose, so your Manly Assets are not on display.

    <http://www.pricepoint.com/thumb/1-Clothing-16-Shorts/MTB-False.htm>

    What I wore at 18 in my Adonis-like body period is not what I wear at 65 in my Formerly Adonis-like body period. (Same Adonis-like body - but there is more of it.)

    Saw a pair of road bikers at a light which illustrated the aesthetic issues. On the right, the young stud in Lycra - a fine looking figure in bibs. On the left, grandpa clyde with Lycra outlining those rolls of stored food reserves, etc..

    The thought: Some folks should not wear Lycra. It does not flatter.

    I wear mtb shorts, a construction worker long sleeve lime green shirt and a surveyor vest in lime. Loose, flowing, cool. Good aiming point for cars. Don't look like a lollypop.

    @@@

    There may be some regulation that roadies wear Lycra. In that case, allow me to add a pair of lemons to the fruit salad suggestions. Goes good with a wurst.

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