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Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) Looking to lose that spare tire? Ideal weight 200+? Frustrated being a large cyclist in a sport geared for the ultra-light? Learn about the bikes and parts that can take the abuse of a heavier cyclist, how to keep your body going while losing the weight, and get support from others who've been successful.

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Old 06-13-09, 09:42 AM   #1
DelusionalDude
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Squirrelicide?

I took a nice ride yesterday evening, about 12 miles or so. Hey! Shaddup! That IS a nice ride for me.

Anyways, this ride just goes over to one of few streets in my town with bike lane, and then to a nice little training bump. I say bump, because compared to what some of you do, it's not a hill or a climb, just a bump in the road. But for me it's a real hill and it still kicks my bum, but sooner or later I'm gonna kick back. But I digress, this story is about what happened on the way to the hill.

So I took the side streets over to this one street with a bike lane. The side streets have very little traffic and I'm free to do what I please, except of course for the stop signs. Btu I finally make it over to the bike lane which is on a busier street, so naturally traffic also picks up.

So I'm going down this one hill just past the Korean church, and theres oncoming traffic, and a vehicle approaching from behind. Lo and behold now is when the freakin squirrel decides to try and cross the road! From my side of the road! Of course he darts half-way out in the road, then turns back and runs up on the grass. Ok. everything is fine.

After the vehicle from behind passes, I took a quick look at the speedometer and I'm only going about 23 at the time (don't laugh that IS fast for me). I look back up in the bike lane and there's the squirrel! Half-way across he turns back toward the grass! Then he dances the death dance in the bike lane! Now I don't know about you, but I'm not swerving into traffic with my 250 lbs. on a Gary Fisker HKEK while going downhill at 25mph to avoid a suicidal squirrel!

Yep. Front wheel. Rear wheel. Bumpity bump. Didn't look back, too busy making sure I'm not on the road a few yards from him. Looked for him on my return trip, but decided it wasn't worth crossing the street to return to the scene of the incident.

So the question is.... can I be charged for this? Will there be little pictures of me on wanted posters throughout the squirrel communities? Will they form a lynch mob and come after me, digging up the yard, leaving pine cones pieces all over my car? Should I be afraid of squirrel "street justice"? Have you ever done this?
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Old 06-13-09, 09:51 AM   #2
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I actually ran over an Opossum (I think they are far more stupid than squirrels). I returned to the scene about an hour later and it was gone. It must have crawled off, or got hauled off by another predator.
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Old 06-13-09, 10:02 AM   #3
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you might get a visit from joey one nut watch your back






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Old 06-13-09, 10:18 AM   #4
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Oh no!
I'm gonna have to get in witness protection!
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Old 06-13-09, 10:41 AM   #5
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A month ago, I'm driving home and 2 blocks from the house I encounter
a car coming from the opposite direction stopped for a squirrel.

The squirrel is standing in front of the car doing:
- Look left
- Look right
- Look up at car
- look toward me
- rinse, and repeat

I slow down, but since it seems the squirrel has no immediate
plans to choose a direction, I just continue driving by.

So of course just as I'm even with the squirrel, he suddenly
decides on a direction. I felt a thump from the right rear
tire, and looked back to see him flopping in the street.

So now I feel bad about flattening a squirrel, and someone in
my neighborhood thinks I'm a cruel b*st*rd for killing the
squirrel they were waiting for, but I swear it looked like
a suicide to me.
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Old 06-13-09, 07:03 PM   #6
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you might get a visit from joey one nut watch your back

Or worse
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Old 06-13-09, 07:12 PM   #7
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Thousands of starving people in the world and you leave good food! You're grounded. GO TO YOUR ROOM!
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Old 06-13-09, 07:15 PM   #8
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Do baby bunnies count?



The first one tried to jump through my front wheel. The second tried to jump the gap the triangle (does that space have a name?), hit the bottle cage and went under the rear wheel. No bumps, but then I am close to 290 when it happened so hopefully it was quick and painless.
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Old 06-13-09, 07:51 PM   #9
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Back when i was a kid i ran over a snake. It kept going though and so did i.
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Old 06-13-09, 10:26 PM   #10
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First and foremost... that prehistoric gorrilla squirrel is frightening!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HIPCHIP View Post
Thousands of starving people in the world and you leave good food! You're grounded. GO TO YOUR ROOM!
ok. I didn't think about it in that context. I need to think more like the Necromongers.... Keep what you kill.

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Do baby bunnies count?
Yes! Baby bunnies count! Adn they're much cuter than squirrels.

Thank you all for making me feel better about it. Except for the cruel b*st*rd whoe drove over a squirrel that someone else allowed to pass! (LOL! I'm kidding of course.)
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Old 06-14-09, 01:23 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by DelusionalDude View Post


So the question is.... can I be charged for this? Will there be little pictures of me on wanted posters throughout the squirrel communities? Will they form a lynch mob and come after me, digging up the yard, leaving pine cones pieces all over my car? Should I be afraid of squirrel "street justice"? Have you ever done this?


Squirrels send out a 'volunteer' to ensure food keeps coming from the Giant Pink Ones. Said volunteer bravely throws itself in harms way for the greater good of the community and a consistent supply of nachos, twinkies and that sort of thing...

Actually, I had one a couple of years ago try to do the hoop jump thru my chainrings and chain. It didn't work out well for him....
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Old 06-14-09, 01:51 AM   #12
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Ride in a butcher's apron with cutlery strung on the handlebars. Squirrel - it tastes like chicken.
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Old 06-14-09, 06:40 AM   #13
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I might get caned for this, but I can't resist - there were squirrels around the Korean church?

Tom
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Old 06-15-09, 09:33 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyBear View Post
Back when i was a kid i ran over a snake. It kept going though and so did i.
I was practicing MX once and went into a turn. Snake was in the middle of the turn! He didn't appreciate me running over his back and tried to bite me!!! Hard to do a turn with both feet up in the air above my bars!!!!!
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Old 06-15-09, 12:22 PM   #15
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I've never hit an animal on my bike, but I have hit a fox and a pigeon before. I always stop to make sure it was a clean kill and that they're not suffering. If there's a chance that they'll survive I'd definitely try to get the animal to a vet though... I'm a big softy.

I agree with not riding into traffic though... it'd be ironic as hell that 10 minutes after I got hit the squirrel would still get hit, and I just know that would be the case.

Learn how to whistle nice and loud, that often makes 'em stop dead in their tracks and a lot easier to predict. I don't think it'd really help though when they're already panicking though.
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Old 06-15-09, 12:36 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DelusionalDude View Post
First and foremost... that prehistoric gorrilla squirrel is frightening!


ok. I didn't think about it in that context. I need to think more like the Necromongers.... Keep what you kill.


Yes! Baby bunnies count! Adn they're much cuter than squirrels.

Thank you all for making me feel better about it. Except for the cruel b*st*rd whoe drove over a squirrel that someone else allowed to pass! (LOL! I'm kidding of course.)
Are you disturbed when you hit a bug with your windshield or swallow gnats???? They are just as dead as that squirrel.....

Of course, you probably fed another animal....
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Old 06-15-09, 12:48 PM   #17
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Suicide Squirrel? First appeared in Tales of The Jackalope #2 - http://www.comics.org/details.lasso?id=320992

Kevin

Last edited by Kevrob; 06-15-09 at 01:10 PM.
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Old 06-21-09, 09:15 AM   #18
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be nice tom of course they were not near the church they know to stay away from there *giggle*

Now DD if the next day when you rode that way if there was white squirrel outline on the road you may be a wanted man
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Old 06-21-09, 10:34 AM   #19
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be nice tom of course they were not near the church they know to stay away from there *giggle*

Now DD if the next day when you rode that way if there was white squirrel outline on the road you may be a wanted man
I avoided that route for a couple of weeks.
I went back through yesterday on my loop back home, there was no incident. But I did notice a lot of the squirrels stopped what they were doing and just watched as I rode by. I think they were conspiring about something. I just have to make sure to give them more time to forget.
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Old 06-21-09, 01:15 PM   #20
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I had one take out my front wheel once and he\she committed suicide plain an simple. It was on a fence post and then just darted out and jumped toward my front spokes. I went down, landed in some nice soft turf luckily, I was not happy, then that is when I noticed the body of the animal lodged between my wheel and the fork. The wheel was ruined, broke spots and severly bent rim. It's almost like it was planning it. One of the folks I was with swears it slowed down to time the jump into my wheel since I was slowing to try and avoid it.
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you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way.
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Old 06-22-09, 08:16 PM   #21
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If it's moving across your path, or standing with its tail out, try to go behind it. They tend to speed up, rather than stop, or scoot ahead rather turn back around. Also +1 on whistling, or just yelling at them, "Move it, Stupid."
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Old 06-22-09, 08:48 PM   #22
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I scared one half to death once. I was rolling down this hill when a black squirrel came out from the side of the road looking at the traffic as if it was going to cross. It didn't see or hear me coming downhill fast. I passed it pretty much nose to spoke. I didn't know squirrels could scream in fright.
Maybe it wasn't a squirrel but some other small furry animal, I didn't get a good look as I was passed it in a split second.
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Old 06-22-09, 10:42 PM   #23
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i hit 2 in one ride about a month ago......
poor sobs
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